"Spencer!"

Spencer glanced away from the large, pale yellow house where his girlfriend was talking to Mr. and Mrs. Harper, and looked down at the icy blue eyes of Lily. He smiled at her.

"What up Lily?"

Lily glanced around, spying her parents on the porch, then grinned in an impish way. It made Spencer laugh. This girl was pretty cool, for only being 6.

"Can you take me to the arcade? I asked Mommy and Daddy, but they told me no. they said it was dangerous. But I don't care! I'm big and brave!" the girl puffed out her cheeks and chest, trying to show Spencer how big she was. Spencer chuckled, and reached out to pat her head.

"Not today, kiddo. Your parents are right, it is pretty dangerous. But once things settle down, I'll take you to the arcade, ok? Maybe this time you'll be able to beat me."

Lily looked disappointed, but she grinned at the idea of a challenge. "I'll beat you!" she proclaimed loudly, then she spun around and ran off to the swing set in her front yard.

"You are so good with her," whispered a soft voice beside him. He turned to see Mrs. Harper standing by him, a camera in her hand. She smiled up at Spencer, who gave her an easy, charming smile back.

Mrs. Harper had probably looked a lot like her daughter when she was younger. Now her dark hair was streaked with grey, and her forehead crinkled with worry lines. But her eyes were just as bright as her daughters.

But as she watched her daughter, tears wheeled up in her eyes.

"Keep her near you, Spencer. I trust you to take care of her."

Spencer glanced at her shocked, but nodded firmly. "I'll take care of her, Mrs. Harper."

The woman gave spencer a watery smile and, in a sudden movement, reached in to hug Spencer.

He hugged her back.

She took a gasping, breath, trying not to cry, then pulled away, yelling, "Lily! Come here for a moment! I want a picture of you and Spencer!"

Spencer laughed as Lily scampered off the swings and ran towards Spencer and her mother. "Can Alexander be in the picture too?"

Spencer and Mrs. Harper laughed. "Sure! Go call him," Spencer chuckled.

The little girl smiled, then called out, "Alexander! Come here boy!"

Spencer heard the pounding as the large Bernese dog bounded around the corner, tongue lolling out the side as he ran. He sprinted across the lawn, only to slow to a halt at Lily's feet. Lily giggled and pet the dog's head that was just barely shorter than her.

"Good boy," she giggled.

Mrs. Harper smiled, then shooed Spencer over towards her daughter. "Now, then, Spencer, you stand near Lily- yes just like that! Now- Lily, hold that dog still, don't let it jump on Spencer! Ok, one, two, thre- Oh!"

She broke off in laughter as she watched spencer crash down to the ground, the giant dog landing on top of him. Lily laughed happily, and Spencer couldn't help but join in. The Polaroid picture fell to the ground, Lily smiling happily, while Spencer and Alexander were just a blurred spot of brown in the back.

"She's a little spitfire, isn't she?" Fae laughed as she and Spencer watched Lily maneuver her way up a tree.

"Yeah, she is!" Spencer grinned. "Kinda like a little sister I never had."

"Hey!" She exclaimed! "I thought I was the little sister you never had!"

"Hmm, I don't think I ever said that. I believe I said you were the little pest that I never wished to have." He tease easily.

Fae smacked him, grinning. "Don't worry, I feel the same about you!"

"No you don't,"

Fae made a face, before laughing. "How do you know? Maybe I found someone new!"

"There's always someone new for you Fae. Weren't you hitting up the mailman earlier?"

She grimaced. "Maybe I was. What's it to ya?" she glanced up at him, nudging his side. "Could it be your jealous?"

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yes, Fae. I'm madly in love with you, and any guy you flirt with that isn't me is drives me insane. My only wish is that we could run away to Quebec together to live out our lives as llama farmers."

"What's that about llamas?"

Both Fae and Spencer turned to see Baylee walking towards them. As usual, Spencer was entranced. Her green eyes sparkled as she laughed, her short brown hair framing her face, curling in at her chin. She smiled sweetly at her friends.

She raised an eye at Spencer. "Are you thinking about running off with Fae? You promised me the same thing last week, you player!" she lightly thumped him, but her fingers lingered gently on his arm for just a moment more.

Spencer thought his heart was going to explode, it was beating so fast.

But he gave her a wicked grin. "Oh, you caught me. Now I've lost you both." He hung his head comically, but then glanced up though his hair dangling in his face. "Unless…"

"NO!"

Spencer couldn't help laughing, and the girls joined in.

"Spencer! Watch me!"

Spencer looked up, and saw that Lily was back on the ground, doing cartwheels.

"Spencer! Are you watching?" She called.

"Yeah! I'm watching!" He smiled, watching her spin. She was so young, and didn't understand what danger she was in.

"Spencer?" He glanced away and saw that only Baylee was beside him. He looked around, trying to find Fae.

"Where's Fae?"

Baylee laughed. "She left a few minutes ago. You're out of it today, aren't you?"

"Not really. Lily just take up a lot of my attention."

Baylee smiled at him gentle. "You like her," she commented.

"Yeah, I do. She's a cool kid."

"You don't usually like kids." She pointed out.

Spencer shrugged. "She smart for her age. And she doesn't act spoiled."

Baylee smiled, glanced around, then slipped her arm in through his. "Do you…"she broke off, nervous. Spencer looked down at her. She was biting her lip, staring at Lily. "Do you think you would ever want to have kids?" she finished hesitantly.

The question shocked Spencer, and he looked at her for just a second. Then he looked at Lily. She was smiling and laughing as she played with her dog. He smiled, watching her.

"Yeah," he whispered. He smiled down at his girlfriend, who grinned back, eyes shining. "Yeah, I'd like to have kids one day."

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Baylee grinned to herself and snuggled closer to Spencer.

"I think he would have your eyes," she whispered.

He pulled away and looked at her. Baylee's face was bright red, and she was looking at the ground. A warm feeling welled up in his chest. He pulled her in close, pressing her close. "She would look exactly like you."

He heard her gasp, and she pressed closer, raising her head to look at him. "I love you,"

He grinned down at her, "Love you more." he lowered down and pressed a kiss to her lips.

The next day, Spencer was playing outside with Lily. The little girl had decided that a dragon was terrorizing the neighborhood, and only she could stop it, along with the help of her trusty steed and the sturdy pack mule.

"Spencer, you're not doing a very good job being the pack mule." Lily scolded, a scowl on her small, childish face.

On his hands and knees, Spencer found himself held down by the weight of the many books the girl seemed to believe was necessary for saving the world from a dragon. And the clothes. And the many sticks that Lily had scoured the yard for, attempting to find the perfect "sword." Eventually, she had given up and placed as many as she could on the back of her newfound pack horse.

"Lily, even a pack horse can only carry so much," he attempted to tell her, but Baylee, who was on the new laptop that they had fought for month for, cheered the little girl on from her space near a tree a mere three feet away.. "He can handle it, Lily. It will toughen him up!" called his girlfriend. Spencer shot her a dirty look, and she laughed. "Don't worry, Spencer. If you're sore tonight, I can see what I can do to help you relax."

His breath caught at the undertones over voice. He glanced at the little girl nearby, who had distracted herself by readying Alexander to be her horse, then hissed at his girlfriend, "I know I said I wanted kids, but that doesn't mean we should start now!"

She giggled conspiratorially, then said in a hushed voice, "I thought you promise your mother you would be safe in your last letter. Does that not mean both on and off the job?"

Spencer felt the sudden urge to toss the sticks off his back and throw himself at his girlfriend, the urge to kiss her until neither of them could breathe nearly overpowering, but all thought of romance faded when he heard Lily shriek.

In a flash, he was on his knees, the items on his back falling to the ground, and in his periphery, he saw Baylee tense and her hand go to her waist, ,where a gun was safely stowed. However, it was unneeded as he saw Lily grinning boldly at a taller, curvy woman.

The woman's eyes were a dark green and her skin was evenly tanned. Locks of auburn hair fell around her face as the rest of her shoulder length hair was tied back in a loose ponytail. She wasn't older than thirty.

"Caroline!" Lily squealed, but the girl, feeling Spencer's eyes on her, stayed still and didn't rush towards the woman.

Caroline. The name struck with Spencer. The previous nanny for Lily. The woman had been let go once the threats against Lily had been made, along with most of the staff of the household. It had been done for the safety of the little girl, but nothing had happened because of it. No more threats than usual. That fact had led Spencer to believe that the killer didn't reside inside the house, but Katlyn hadn't been very sure.

Caroline smiled gently at the girl. "Hello Lily. How are you, dear?"

Lily smiled. "I'm fine."

Caroline nodded, then turned to Spencer. "You must be one of the agents?" her voice became less sure as she looked at the toys surrounding Spencer, as well the tie that had been place haphazardly around his neck as a way for Lily to lead him around. He sent a slightly panicked look towards Baylee, who grinned, then stood to take control of the situation.

"This man is an approved temporary nanny for the family."

The woman chuckled quietly. "The CIA keeps a supply of nannies?" she glanced at Spencer appraisingly, then whispered "are they all as nice to look at as this one?"

Reid flushed and stood, trying to brush twigs and dirt from his clothes. "The name is Spencer Reid." He held his hand out. Caroline took it and shook firmly.

"Caroline, may I ask why you are back?" Baylee asked carefully.

"Oh, yes! Mr. and Mrs. Harper agreed to give me a letter of recommendation, as well as a few households in the area that are in need of someone to care for children. They told me that, though I had only been with them for a short time, I was very efficient. It's very kind of them, considering the tragedy they are going through."

The three chatted for a few moments more before Caroline turned, waved goodbye at Lily, then left the property.

Reid and Baylee moved back to the tree as Lily ran off to play in her tree house.

"You looked a little jealous when Caroline mentioned that I was good looking." He teased her, and watched as she blushed nervously. He heard Alexander giver a loud bark in the background.

"Yeah, you're good looking. For a twig." She teased back.

He grinned and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I don't think that's what you said e last night."

Baylee's face was bright red, and Spencer grinned triumphantly. With most people, Baylee could talk dirty with the best of them, but it still pleased him that whenever he said something, she turned a perfect shade of pink.

Baylee smiled, the glanced around the yard. She tensed up suddenly. "Where's Lily?"

Spencer felt cold terror fill him as her looked around, standing quickly. The yard was empty. No Lily, no dog. Silence.

"Lily?" he called "Lily?"

JJ closed the door behind her, leaving Spencer in the meeting room alone. She had to get out of her. She had to get away from him. For just a few minutes. Her head was buzzing as she walked away quickly. Spencer's words played on repeat in her head.

I got her killed.

She took a left turn, jogging down a set of stairs.

Yeah, I'd like to have kids

She slowed as she walked down the hallway, getting dizzy with the pain in her chest. Her heart.

Love you more.

Why did that hurt? Why did it hurt so much more than anything else he had said? It shouldn't. She should be concerned that he had lied to them. That his actions had gotten someone killed. A child killed. That he hadn't trusted any of his friends enough to help him. So why, out of everything he had said, had those three words stabbed her so painfully.

"JJ?"

No. no right now. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't look into those beautiful brown eyes and just be ok.

"JJ, Please just listen to me."

"Spence, I can't right now." She straitened up and began walking away from him.

"Jennifer!"

That made her pause. He hadn't called her that. He never called her that. Only JJ. Rage filled her, startling her slightly. He was angry? What gave him the right to be angry? She should be the one who was angry, but no, she was heartbroken instead. And somehow, that hurt more.

She whirled on him, glaring.

"What, Spencer?" she hissed. She watched as he stepped back in shock, hand still reached out towards her. "What could you possibly have left to say?" Her words seemed to act like daggers, and she watched as each word struck him, his face dropping, eyes widening.

"JJ, please," he whispered. "I'm… I'm so sorry. But please, please, just listen to me!" he was pleading now, begging to stay, to listen to him. "I spent the next six months after that trying to catch the guy. But it was no use. After Lily, the guy just, disappeared. Nothing I tried worked. Everyone was worried about me, tried to get me to take time off. Eventually, my obsession with trying to catch him…" he grimaced and looked down. "It drove Baylee away from me. That sobered me up, helped me realize just how far I'd gone. I had to get out of there. I was content to just go to school study, find a new job. But then the BAU offered me a job, and I thought, what if there is a way for me to keep looking, to keep in touch with the case, but maybe move on." He hung his head. "I wanted to tell me someone, but I was terrified. A little girl lost her life because I got so close to someone on my own team. I was scared that that something would happen. I just-"

JJ watched as he struggled for words, sorrow slowly replacing the rage. He was so scared, so worried.

She walked over towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest. She felt him tense, before relaxing and slowly crushing her close to him, accepting her comfort.

Shea watched from a distance the blonde woman and Spencer hugged for a few moments, before walking away, shaking his head. She could get him to talk, but he couldn't? Spencer had been his best friend for so many years. They had talked about everything, tease Fae together, practically lived together. They had been family. But then he abandons him, his family, for some blonde?

Shea found an empty room and entered, slamming the door angrily. He pulled out his phone and called the one person he had relayed on during these last years, other than Fae.

"Hello?" Came a sweet, soft voice. That vice brought back the afternoons driving from case to case. He and Fae, Katlyn and Mika, Spencer and Baylee.

"Hey Bay," he sighed and collapsed in a chair.

"Shea? You sound exhausted, and you've only be gone a few hours. Are you Ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but something's happened."

Shea could hear the loaded silence on the other end of the phone, and immediately realized how his words sounded. "Everyone's fine! No one's hurt!" he exclaimed quickly.

He heard her sigh in relief. "We really need to work on the way you deliver news." She laughed, then said, "Ok, so now that I know none of you are missing limbs, what's up?"

"It's Spencer. He works here, in the BAU."

There was another silent moment before, finally, she said, "He is? Is his Ok?"

"Um, yeah, he's fine."

"Well, that's good. I happy he's ok."

Wait. What? That was it?

"Bay, he's working here, at the BAU. He left us to work with other people."

"Shea-"

"And it's like… he's not Spencer anymore. Spencer was warm and funny, and my best friend! This guy… I don't know what he is! And he's-"

"Shea!" he stopped at the unusual sharpness in her voice. "You need to calm down. Now think, did you really expect him to be the same person as before?"

"Well, I- I don't know."

"Shea," she paused, and Shea was sure that she was shaking her head. "This case screwed with Spencer. Spencer felt the blame for what happened to Lily for so long. He was never going to make it out of that the same person that we knew. But that doesn't mean he's not Spencer. The little things may have changed, but he still Spencer underneath it all."

Shea sighed. That was the same thing Fae had said.

"Just try and talk to him. Maybe you'll find he's the same person. But wait a little bit. Wait until the case is over. He's going to be more stressed out than usual, and you won't get anything out of him. Just be patient."

Shea just nodded, then said "Ok. I'll try. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Um, Shea? Just one question."

"Yeah?"

The silence on her side of the phone was tense before, finally, she asked, "Does he have someone? Is there anyone-"she broke off, not able to talk.

Shea thought back to how the blonde agent had comforted Spencer, the way he had desperately poured his heart out to her, in a way he hadn't ever done to anyone.

"Yeah, he's got someone."

He heard her take a deep breath, then say "Thank you, Shea. I'll see you when you get back, ok?"

She hung up without another

Baylee Lewis hung up the phone, leaning against the wall in relief.

"Thank god he's ok," she whispered aloud. "I was so worried."

"Honey? Baylee, you ok?" called a calm voice from the living room. She smiled, comforted by just the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, babe. I'm fine. You'll never guess who I just heard from." Grinning, she grabbed a bowl of snacks and wandered off towards the living room.

Ok guys, i know it's been a while since i last update, and i'm really sorry! College is bogging me down and I barely have any free time left. but i have one more chapter to post and then that should be it! let me know what you guys think! :)