disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer (what an amazing author/woman for creating such a perfect world). I use dialogue from her outtakes and from the actual novels. It is her ideas, with a twist of my own thoughts behind the complex character of Edward Cullen..sigh..

3. Italy

What would I do without Bella? Obviously, I cannot live without her, so technically I only had one option. Go to Italy, and ask the Volturi to kill me. That was the only way. Jasper and Emmett would never help me, so I had to go. What made the situation even worse was that I could not say goodbye to my family. Not that it all particularly mattered to me anymore. Bella was gone. I could not believe it.

I left as soon as I could. Thankfully, I had no problem booking the flight to Florence. I realized in the middle of my flight that Alice would have seen my decision, so I had to act quickly. Otherwise, I would be doomed to this torture of a world without Bella. I could not even imagine it.

I managed to arrive in Volterra, home of the infamous Volturi, the day after receiving the news. A vampire does not mess around with the Volturi unless they want to die. The Volturi is known for taking care of problems that threaten the existence of our kind.

"Ah, Edward Cullen. What brings you here to our fair city? I assume Carlisle is well," Aro, sort of the leader of the family, asked as I entered his room.

"Yes, Carlisle is well, I suppose. I have not seen him in some time, though. I must ask you of a favor for me," I replied nonchalantly.

"Well, yes, go on.."

"I am not sure how to approach this matter, but…I need you to kill me," I spoke quietly. I was not sure how they would react, since Aro was quite fond of Carlisle. I had forgotten about this fact in my race to the city.

"Hm, and why is that? If you do not mind…can I have your hand?" Aro questioned. Aro was a very powerful vampire; he could read all of someone's thoughts with the touch of a hand.

"Of course. I think that is the best way to explain my current situation," I stepped closer to him and gave him my hand. I gulped as I saw my life replay through his eyes. I shuddered at the sight of Bella in my memories, which were now Aro's as well.

"Well. That is quite a predicament you have there Edward. Let me convene with my brothers to make our decision, and come back tomorrow," he replied, a little shocked at what had happened to me in the last year.

"Of course. Thank you for your time," I stated as I walked away slowly. I could almost feel myself becoming closer to Bella. I still doubted there was an afterlife for my kind, but I could hope for one last chance to be with her, my angel. I shuddered again at the thought of being tortured by the agony I felt now even when I was a pile of ashes.

That night took forever to end. I could not wait any longer to hear the decision. I had to try to find some way to kill myself, because I could no longer endure the pain. I let despair wash over me, and had curled myself into a ball during the night. I closed my eyes and envisioned her. Bella's smile, her inquisitive eyes, her irresistible kitten anger, her most adorable blush every time I touched or kissed her, the soft, warm feel of her skin against my ice hard hands. All of these memories haunted me again that night.

As soon it turned noon, I quickly ran through the streets of Volterra to the entry of where Aro and I would meet with his brothers. The city was preparing for St. Marcus's Day, which was extremely ironic, because the holiday celebrated the riddance of vampires from the city by St. Marcus when he left. However. Marcus had never left the city, and neither did the vampires. In fact, there are most likely even more vampires in the city now than before.

"Edward. Welcome again. My brothers, Caius and Marcus, and I have thought long and hard about your request yesterday. Rather than killing you, we have another proposition for you," Aro stated. He looked excited. In his thoughts, he was thinking about cloaks and how his power would be almighty if he had more gifts to work with.

That's when it clicked. But I did not say anything. I merely nodded.

"How would you like to join us, Edward? As a member of the Volturi? It would be quite a waste to lose such a talent like yours," Aro asked with excitement in his eyes.

"Wow. Thank you for the offer. But…" I hesitated. "I think I'd rather not. I am sure you remember my memories from yesterday. I simply cannot live in this world anymore. It is time for me to leave this damned earth," I replied. I tried to stay nonchalant and indifferent, but I was positive that the pain from losing Bella was evident on my face.

"Well then. I am sorry, Edward. However, we cannot kill you. We do not justify wasteful killing," Aro affirmed with resentfulness in his voice, along with disappointment. It was clear that he simply wanted to use me for my talent. Aro would find it a matter of convenience of being able to hear one person's thoughts from far away, like I did, rather than knowing all thoughts with the touch.

"Thank you for your time then. I suppose I will have to find another way then," I said, slowly walking out of the room. So the Volturi had said no but offered me a place with them. There was no chance of that happening, since my memories of Bella were killing me slowly, inside out. How would I be able to put an end to my misery?