By nature, Snow White was not a runner. She hadn't run from her father when he got a little too attached to his alcohol, and she certainly didn't cower when her brief stepmother got in a slapping mood, but that didn't mean she wanted to talk about it. Not with anyone, even a qualified shrink. Ms. Faria-Godmater was just like every other counselor Snow had been to; nosy, chatty, and condescending. The only reason she even went was because her foster father's told her that if she didn't, they would pull her out of DSNEY and enroll her in a different school. They suspected DSNEY was a bad influence on her and although they didn't want to do it to her,
"As your guardians, we have to protect you Snow White."
That made her laugh. Protect her? How could they protect her, how could anyone? Memories didn't metamorphosis into dragons that one could slay. The past didn't sneak into her room and try to smother her with a pillow.
She went all the same though. The threat was too great for her not to. Snow went at lunch because she wasn't about to waste her afterschool hours cooped up in the building. The counselor was pleased to see her, and honestly Snow thought things might actually be fine, until she pulled out Snow's extensive file and began discussing her parents. She did not Pandora's Box opened and her well-kept demons free to roam around and ruin her life yet again. Faria said it would be healing, to talk about such things, but Snow wasn't enjoying it after the first two minutes.
"It says here your mother was assaulted?"
Snow nodded stiffly, not opening her mouth. "What happened exactly?"
Bloody towels flashed across her memory. There was so much blood; she couldn't wipe it all up. The police were knocking at the door, her father was at a bar, and Mommy wasn't waking up.
Snow blinked, washing away the memory just as she had the blood in the sink. "Pops had too much to drink and got carried away. Raped her and stuff. When she got back from the hospital, she packed up and left. I got home from school and she wasn't there." Snow picked away at the hem of her tank top, trying to distract herself.
Faria scribbled something down and nodded. "How old were you when this happened?"
"Five. Maybe six, I don't know."
"Did he beat you too?"
Snow took a deep breath as her heart beat faster. "No he—he didn't like someone that small compared to him. Wanted a more fair fight."
Again the counselor wrote something on her pad which was starting to bother Snow. What was she writing? Had she already decided Snow was lost?
"When did his new wife start assaulting you?"
The vile woman, the one who was supposed to protect her came around seven, or so Snow thought. She didn't beat the girl for at least six months, mainly so her father could think she was a good mother, but the only thing that woman wanted was the unemployment checks to buy more alcohol. She didn't care about Snow, if anything she hated her because she had to be fed which meant less money for booze.
"She didn't."
Faria blinked in surprise. "But it says in your file-"
"That file doesn't say a damn thing about who I am or what I've been through," Snow snapped. She pushed back the chair violently and grabbed the pad. "You can say whatever you want about me on this notepad, but you don't know anything! You're just going to tell those brothers that I need to be taken away from my friends, and I won't let you! I'll—I'll leave, run away like that bitch did all those years ago." Snow's voice cracked but she didn't care. She store up the paper then stormed out of the room. Without thinking, she ran out of the building just as the lunch bell rang. People began pushing to get inside, but she shoved harder and through the blur of tears, she searched for somewhere to hide. Anywhere would do, but privacy was necessary.
An idea came to mind; the locker storage room would do. With determined, speedy steps, Snow ran to the storage room at the back of the school. As soon as she was inside, she slammed her fist against the old metal and screamed while the tears fell faster. Again her knuckles hit the lockers, again and again until she smelt iron, blood, and realized her knuckles were a mess. She sunk to the ground and buried her head in her hands.
'Stupid Mom, stupid Pops, stupid everyone! Always leaving, always forgetting me, damn them!'
At one time in her life, thirteen, she had considered running away. She actually packed up her things and made it down the block before her second foster parents grabbed her. Locks were put on her windows and door so she couldn't pull the same tricks, but social services moved her soon after that.
'I hate them, I hate them all! I didn't deserve this,' she sobbed, her knees knocking together from her collapsed position on the ground.
The creaking of the steel door alerted her to a visitor. She was ready to yell at them to get lost, but when she saw it was Ferdinand, her screams caught in her throat. She spotted her necklace in his hand and clapped a hand on her neck to see that she had indeed lost the pendant. Her mother gave that to her, and she managed to hide it from her stepmother and father when they needed to pawn things for beer money. Snow tried to reach out for it, but when she saw how bloody her hands were, she recoiled.
Ferdinand's eyes held a compassion Snow had never seen anyone give her before. Sure, she'd seen pity, fear, sadness, and all those other bothersome emotions directed to her, but never unadulterated compassion like this. It frightened her.
He outstretched out his hand, his sneakers squeaking against the tiled floor, and waited for her to take it. "Let's get you cleaned up," he said quietly.
Snow wordlessly nodded her head and tentatively placed her hand in his. By now the halls would be deserted so she wouldn't have to worry about witnesses. She let him lead her out though, the crying having made her lose all sense of direction. Ferdinand didn't seem to mind though and even had a destination in mind.
They ended up outside his locker. He kept a hold of her hand as he twisted the locker combination, as if he thought she needed it to keep standing, and he was probably right in that sense. Snow leaned against the locker beside his, her bangs hiding half her tear stained face, and waited for him to say something, but he didn't. His silence was reassuring, calming, so she didn't dare interrupt it.
As he pulled out Tylenol, bandages, rubbing alcohol, and a candy bar, she noticed his locker was covered with musical clippings. She saw the Phantom's mask, Elphaba's hat, Dorothy's shoes, and many other trinkets that lined his grey door. She wondered who gave him some of them, for some of the pictures looked to be from a backstage.
"Here, eat this while I clean up the cuts," he handed her the candy bar and realizing she had skipped lunch, the young lady took it and greedily began munching away.
Ferdinand took her to a bench at the end of the hall and set to work on righting the mess she'd made of her pearly hands. The alcohol stung but she ignored it. This wasn't half as bad as it would be when she got home and the brothers were angry with her. She was sure she'd be moved now, and the thought almost made her start to cry again.
"Why are you helping me? I'm practically a stranger," she whispered through the chocolate and almonds.
The senior chuckled which caught her off guard. "No, you're not. We met before, when we were kids, or don't you remember?" He teased affectionately and gazed at her through his dark lashes.
Suddenly, a memory of a little bow with a starry bow tie flicked before her. A birthday party was where they met. They sang together, yes that was it! She blushed, embarrassed for not having remembered earlier.
"Right we—we have met before. I didn't think you went here though. I always thought-"
"After my parents' divorce, I decided I wanted to go to DSNEY instead of the one my father recommended," Ferdinand explained.
"They got divorced?" She remembered his parents. They were nice, good people who had a big house and even a puppy for Ferdinand to play with. She didn't think people in picket fences got divorces.
He nodded. "Yeah, when I was twelve; the summer before I started high school actually." He finished one hand then wrapped it up in gauze.
"I'm sorry. They always seemed so happy," she commented quietly.
Ferdinand agreed. "They were, for a while. But when Mom got a girlfriend, it kind of put a damper on the whole marriage thing," he smirked.
Snow White's eyes widened. "Girlfriend? So your mom is-"
"A lesbian. Yeah, she's married now actually. They moved to California just after I started school and got married at Christmas. Mom's expecting a little girl come March, so when I visit this summer I'll have a playmate," he explained casually, as if it was no big deal.
'Well it isn't actually. I think it's kind of nice.' He picked up her next hand and began work on that.
"Do you miss her?" She asked hesitantly.
Ferdinand nodded. "Yeah, I do. Especially when I need advice on stuff that I can't talk about with Dad. He's not too good at sitting and listening. Being an actor, he likes to be, well, active." He looked over at her and paused. "You miss your mom too though, don't you?"
Snow's heart seized in her chest. How did he know about her mom? At six, she must have still been there. Her father wouldn't have taken her to a party.
For a while she said nothing, but then she nodded and let out a shaky breath.
"You can talk about it, you know. It doesn't make you weak to talk about the stuff that hurts."
"I know that," she snapped. Snow flushed and shook her head. "I know. I just don't want to. Not here," she mumbled.
Ferdinand nodded and finished up the hand. Instead of letting it go, he pulled her up with it. "There's a café nearby, that far enough from here?"
Honestly, she shouldn't consider going. Missing her afternoon classes wasn't smart, especially since Ms. Grimhilde would have her head for missing the day's assignment, but the idea of talking about it and actually feeling safe was more appealing. Snow never felt like the shrinks listened or cared when she attempted to open up. It was one of the main reasons she didn't. Yet she had a feeling that Ferdinand wasn't like that. He genuinely wanted to listen.
Snow nodded and with that, the two left the school.
"I don't blame her for leaving, honestly I don't. I mean if Pops could hurt her like that once, he would do it again. If she hadn't left, she'd be dead. I just wish she would have taken me instead of leaving me with him and that woman," Snow explained over her cup of apple cider. The café Ferdinand suggested was a quaint place with little florescent lighting and comfy stools that made being so high up off the ground enjoyable.
Ferdinand nodded. "I felt the same when Mom left for California. I didn't want to be stuck in this little town with Dad acting and stuff. It didn't seem fair. But I understand the reasoning now. I mean, think about it, if your mom took you with her, it would have been ten times harder for her to find a safe place. That, and she'd be charged with kidnapping. She would be in jail now, and your dad would have custody of you."
"I know you're right, but Pops still had custody of me and it didn't make life any easier," Snow pointed out.
"No, it didn't. What he did was awful and I'm not condoning it, but coming from your mother's perspective, she didn't have a lot of options. Has she tried to contact you since then?"
Snow White shook her head. "Not that I know of. If I ever got a letter from her, Pops would have burned it up without letting me look at it. Sheila would have too, but she would have rubbed it in my face first, telling me that my good-for-nothing mother was living a wonderful life without me. I'm kind of glad she never sent a letter."
For a few minutes they were silent. Snow drank her tea and thought of her mother. She didn't even remember what she sounded like, yet she could recall her scent. Apples. The cool metal of her apple pendant brushed her collar bone and she sighed softly. At least she had that to remember the woman.
"Can I ask you something?"
Snow White nodded. She had already been open with him about her life, she didn't have much she could or would try to hide from him.
"When you were performing that Icarus piece in the theatre, you seemed to really connect to the son's longing to please his father. Is that something you, well, actually feel?"
The junior bit her lip as she stared at her drink, unsure of what to say. "I—yeah I guess I do I just," she shook her head, "it's hard to explain." She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to make sense of it. "When I was a kind I always thought his drinking was my fault. If I was a better daughter, if I didn't cause all this trouble, he wouldn't have a reason to be angry and drink. Of course I know that's silly and not true at all, he was a drunk before me and remained one till he died, but at the time, I couldn't explain it any other way.
"Mom left because of me too, or that's how I viewed it. I was a bad girl so I—I deserved to be left behind with Pops." She shut her eyes and remembered him yelling at her, telling her she was the reason her mother left.
Ferdinand's hand slid across the table and covered one of hers, forcing her to look over at him. "It's not your fault," he whispered. "As you said, your father drank before you, and he was the reason your mother left, not you. You're not to blame for any of this. You're-"
"Please, don't call me a victim. I heard that enough when the police were taking my stepmother away," Snow interrupted.
The actor smiled. "I was going to say brave." Snow blushed but managed a chuckle at her mistake.
They finished off their drinks then ordered a plate of cookies upon Ferdinand's insistence. He must have noticed how hungrily she was eyeing them since they walked it. As they munched away, Snow White attempted to make conversation.
"So what are your plans for after graduation? It doesn't sound like you want to stick around here," she inquired.
Ferdinand chuckled as he bit off half his cookie. "You got me, I'm leaving for California after I get my degree. I've been accepted into an acting academy out there, one that I stand a better chance of getting onto Broadway with, and I'll be living with my moms and sister to save on expenses."
She hated how her heart sunk at the mention of him leaving. In nine months he'd be gone, and this blossoming friendship would come to an end. She smiled though, glad for his success. "Sounds like you'll have a wonderful time out there. I'm happy for you."
He nodded with his own grin. "Yeah, it's pretty exciting. Eric, you've probably seen him at school, he's coming out there with me to do some travelling before he goes to school next year. He loves sailing, and Mom has a port where he can store his boat, so I've got a buddy to take care of half the driving," he chuckled. "What about you? What are your big plans once you're free?"
Snow shrugged. "I'm not sure. I want to get into an acting school, but that all depends on Prof. Scar giving me a stellar recommendation letter. If not, well, we'll see I guess. I've still got a year to figure things out thankfully."
Ferdinand chuckled, "True, you have the leisure of time," he pointed out. "If you want, I could talk to Madame Minnie and see if you could be accepted into the academy here on scholarship, like Thomas is. I'm sure that would be good on your resume," he suggested.
At the mention of the elite academy, Snow White felt butterflies stir in her stomach. "The academy? Really, you'd do that?"
"Of course! You have talent, drive, and everything else a good actor needs. Why, my father would love to have you in his class," Ferdinand insisted. "Only if you want to of course. I mean, it's a lot of work and takes up a lot of time. You'd have to be prepared to make sacrifices."
"For a chance at Broadway, I'd cut off my own foot!" She exclaimed. They shared a laugh at her melodramatics then set to work on finishing the rest of their cookies. Once they were done, Snow realized she'd best head home.
"I'll have to explain about the counselor thing. No doubt they won't be impressed," she sighed as they headed to Ferdinand's car that they took over to the café.
Ferdinand opened the car door for her with a shrug. "There's not much you can do now but explain what happened and hope they understand." She sighed as she flopped down in the seat, hoping he was right.
It wasn't long before they came upon the cottage-like townhouse where Snow resided. She didn't get out right away though. Instead she rested her hands in her lap and stared nervously out the window. Ferdinand placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"Hey, everything's going to be fine, okay?"
Snow White nodded, still unsure, but got out of the car. After taking two steps, she turned around and leaned in through the open passenger window. "Would you like to go to the movies sometime?" She asked boldly, her palms sweating and knees knocking all at the same time as she waited for an answer.
When she saw his smile and nod, she thought she would scream. "Friday at seven?" He suggested. Snow nodded eagerly.
"It's a date." With that, she waved goodbye then hurried inside. As expected, the brothers were on the other side of the door, wondering where she had been all afternoon.
"The school called, saying you were missing. Now just where were you young lady?" Mr. Grumpy, or so his brothers nicknamed him, asked with a frown.
Snow leaned down and gave him a kiss on the top of his bald head. "I was with a friend," she explained. The boys looked at her strangely, unsure why she was so, well, happy!
"I'm sorry for how badly I've been behaving lately. I know it wasn't fair to take out my anger on you, especially when you're only trying to help. I promise to go to counselling once a week and to be here on a more regular basis so I can look after the other kids while you're working."
The Dwarf brothers exchanged astonished glances and confused words. Mr. Doc was the first to come forward. His face broke out in a smile and he extended a hand to her. "Sounds wonderful Snow White. We accept your apology." Instead of shaking his hand, she leaned down and hugged the shorter gentleman tightly. Although things weren't all fixed by any means, it was a start, one Snow White was happy to begin. She had a feeling this year was going to be an interesting one, there was no doubt about that.