"San, come on you know it's not like that."
Santana had sat between Mrs. Pierce and Caroline at Brittany's ballet recital. Since the nine year old had been old enough to start going to her sister's performances, it had been Santana's job to keep her entertained. San had just been pretending to read Caroline's future from the lines on her palm when she glanced up to see her girlfriend take the stage.
Brittany's ballet performances have always been Santana's favorite. She thinks it's because the whole world can finally how elegant Brittany is, like a secret that Santana has kept to herself since the day they met is finally out in the open. (Sounds familiar.) Maybe it's the only time they really see it. Santana can't figure out how they miss the way she floats down the hallway or the way her shoulders fall back into perfect posture while she plays with her pen in Spanish class.
"B I trust you. It's him I don't trust." Santana knew that line by heart, she'd heard it more than enough times before and she would always rolled her eyes emphatically. Now she had used it without even noticing. She guesses that sounding like her grandmother is just one of those things that love makes you do.
"You know the lifts are tough San and I'm tall for ballet. He was just trying to make sure I didn't fall. Would you have liked me to land on my face in front of the whole auditorium?" Brittany asks rhetorically, not to argue, but just to make a point.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize that in this version of Swan Lake the evil curse was broken through extensive groping. And what kind of name is Chad? Is he a Wayne's World character?"
She's ranting now and it's one of those times when her mouth is moving too fast for her brain. She's not mad at Brittany. She's not even mad. She knows it's ridiculous to feel this way but if Santana is being honest with herself, she's jealous.
"Look, I can attest to your dancing making people reevaluate their sexuality. Just please don't act like I'm crazy for thinking it." Her voice softens like she's trying to make Brittany understand.
It's funny because Abuela has taken her to see the Nutcracker In Columbus every Christmas season and she's had to bite the inside of her cheeks to stay awake. But when Britt's dancing it's more a matter of remembering to blink. And breathe.
"Baby I don't think you're crazy, it's just that he's gayer than Kurt during fashion week." She pauses for a moment and then reiterates, "New York fashion week."
"Okay wait I'm not over this yet but pause for a second. How is the location of fashion week relevant to how gay he is?"
"Ya know, like sometimes European guys can get away with more because they're European. Like capris and stuff. There's some gray area there. But not with Chad. I'm telling you San, he's American capris gay."
One time Santana's parents had a brief revelation that they should spend more time with their kids. It didn't last for very long but Santana figures it's the though that counts right? And this thought, however fleeting it may have been, resulted in a family vacation to Spain. Cultural immersion, or whatever. Mrs. Lopez told both Santana and her brother that they could each bring one friend along on the trip. Well, that's what she told Ricky. She just asked Santana if Brittany preferred a window seat or an aisle seat on the plane. The trip was extra pleasant because it wasn't until about a week after that Brittany discovered San lied when she told her that siesta is Spanish for "sexytimes."
Anyways, moral of the story is that they played a game at every meal together called "Gay or European?" in which they'd try to make the right call on passersby. This is where Santana claims to have developed her outstanding gaydar. The only time the meter gets blurry is during those damn dance numbers. Then every male ballerina is very straight and feeling up on her girl.
"Britt I'm sorry, I know I'm being stupid. I just can't help it sometimes." Okay, time to come clean. "I guess… I'm kinda jealous of him."
"Sweetie I can promise you no one gets to touch me like you do. I don't think they could if they tried," Brittany smiles and winks, eliciting a little giggle for Santana and breaking her resolve. "Plus one time Chad and I had to share a dressing room and he was more terrified than Tubbs at bath time."
"No it's not that," Santana assures her with a faint laugh. "I just wish I could dance with you like that, ya know?" she asks shyly. "I want to be a part of that with you like he gets to be. I've never seen you so in your element as when you're dancing up there, and I don't know I just… I just wanna be there with you."
Santana worries Britt won't understand what she means, but after a moment she sees blue eyes soften on her and she knows it clicked. Brittany grabs both of her hands and holds then loosely between the two of them as they stand inches apart with their eyes locked on each other.
"First of all you have to know that you are always with me when I dance. It's about the only thing that's almost as close to my heart as you are. And sometimes when I practice for hours every day and I'm sore and tired and all I want to do is take a siesta, I think to myself 'San is gonna see this, it has to be perfect.'" Brittany rolls her eyes at herself because she knows when she gets sappy like this she loses her right to make fun of Santana when she does it too. She tries to add some humor to her tone, but it doesn't work because San can hear how much she means what she says next. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for my girlfriend to ask me to dance?"
Santana grins and says, "I'll do you one better. Your girlfriend is asking you to teach her to dance." Brittany squeals and does a little hop. Santana swears she'd say anything in the world if she could always make Britt feel this way. "It's gotta be something I can learn, nothing too crazy but I'll work hard at it. Oh and it has to be something sexy too. This whole teacher-student thing could get kinda hot." Best idea she's ever had.
"I don't think we'll have a problem making it hot, babe." Brittany laughs, and then her eyebrows raise as an idea comes to her. "I know exactly what we can do! What do you think about the tango?"