A/N: Wow, the response has been amazing to this so far. Thank you so much to all of you that are leaving me your thoughts. Huge hugs and smooches to LyricalKris who is holding my hand through this whole thing. Oh, and doing a bit of beta work.

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Chapter 3

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Excerpt from Edward's Journal - June 7, 2011

I don't understand him at all. I tried to avoid the possibility of seeing him after I realized I am obviously too close already. But he somehow found me.

And at this very moment, he's trying my resolve to completely ignore him. As I write this, he is sitting here next to me talking and talking. I am not giving him any encouragement, and I'm certainly not listening to every word he's saying, his slow, southern accent becoming more pronounced the more he talks.

As his soft voice describes his life, I feel like I could listen to him forever, even when he talks about his sorrows, his mistakes.

Don't we all have secret sorrows? Haven't we all made mistakes?

Could I risk him being one of mine?

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JPOV

Sunday couldn't come fast enough. After running into Jimmy and his two puppy dogs on Friday, I laid low on Saturday, avoiding old neighborhoods and attempting to disappear for a little while. I knew it wouldn't last; eventually I would have to confront my past and put it to rest, but right now I just needed to get my feet under me again.

I only left my apartment to run to the corner store, grabbing the necessities for the next few meals, and then sat my ass in front of the television and enjoyed a day of nothing. Sitting there on the couch, I did have one thought that kept circling my brain.

Okay, two thoughts.

One, I really needed to buy another guitar. A lazy weekend was the perfect time to be fiddling with some tunes, playing chords, just strumming absolutely nothing. I missed it, and that would be one of my first purchases once I had a paycheck.

And two, the one that couldn't seem to leave my thoughts for more than a couple minutes. Edward. Although we had only spoken for a few brief moments, his presence seemed to become larger and larger the more time had passed.

I changed the channel again, finding some kind of action movie and settling back against the couch. Tomorrow couldn't come quickly enough.

~0~

Sunday afternoon found me pacing the parking lot of Trinity Hospice Center, waiting not-so-patiently for Felix to arrive. I glanced at my watch again - five to two. I turned again and saw a woman by the door, smiling at me and waving. I recognized Angela from my last visit and walked over to say hello.

"Hello, Jasper. It's good to see you again."

"Thanks, Angela. I'm just waiting for Felix."

"Oh, well you can come inside if you'd like. I brought cookies." She gestured at the open door, and I glanced in that direction.

"I think I'm supposed to wait out here." Protocol dictated I had to be within sight of my parole officer for the first few visits.

She smiled then and touched my arm. "You can do what you like, Jasper, but I don't see any harm in you having a cookie."

I hesitated, unsure what to do in this situation, unsure about being accepted by her. Her smile never faltered, and she gently hooked her arm through mine.

"Come on. I'll take any heat from Felix."

I nodded and followed her inside to the same room we met in before. She led me to a small table with water, punch and some cookies, and proceeded to lift the plate to offer me one. I took a chocolate chip cookie with a mumbled 'thank you'. She smiled at me, but then left me to my own devices as another couple entered the room, and she went to introduce herself.

I sat near the door so Felix would be sure to see me, and see me he did.

Two minutes later, a red-faced Felix entered the room and immediately confronted me, standing over me like a giant. "I told you to wait outside, Mr Whitlock. Did you think I was joking?"

I shifted in my seat under his scrutiny. "No, sir. I'm sorry, sir."

He bent down so our faces were even, his finger pointing at me as I cringed. "I will only give you so many chances to do right by me, Whitlock. Don't let stupid things like this mess up your life."

"Excuse me, Felix," Angela's voice came from behind him.

"Not now, Angela. I need to talk to Jasper for a moment."

"Well, it concerns me, too."

Felix straightened and turned. "Oh, does it?"

"Yes, it does," she affirmed, not backing down. "I dragged him inside even though he protested. I'm the reason he's in here."

He glanced between the two of us, crossed his arms, then opened his mouth as if to speak, but Angela got there first.

"Yell at me if you'd like, but Jasper shouldn't be blamed for this one."

Felix sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Jasper, please just do as you're told from now on."

"Yes, sir," I answered earnestly. I wouldn't move from that spot for anything now.

"And Angela, please don't interfere."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Felix just held up one meaty hand. "Please, Angela."

She looked between the two of us and finally nodded. "I have to start the orientation. Help yourself to cookies." She smiled one last time and hustled to the front to start the session.

Felix sat next to me and we listened to Angela outline what we could and couldn't do again. She also mentioned that a few of the patients could be visited in their private rooms, and the nurses would provide the room numbers. We were finally released, and I followed the group to the common room, keeping my eyes open to locate Edward.

I noticed more about the patients even though I didn't see the one I was looking for. Many were in wheelchairs, some with scarves around their heads, others with IVs on stands, but all of them looked tired. So, so tired.

I walked toward the couch by the large window, hoping to see a familiar face. Instead, I found Miss Celie there in a wheelchair, her knitting on her lap and her face turned towards the view outside.

"Miss Celie? How are you today?" I said as I approached and almost took a step back as she turned toward me.

"Oh, Jasper. How nice to see you." She smiled, but it didn't erase the dark lines around her eyes. She gestured to the chair and folded her hands back in her lap. "I've been better, that's for sure. How are you?"

"I've been-" I followed her gaze out to the lawn, and there, tucked behind the trunk of a giant oak, was the one I was looking for. I cleared my throat and turned my attention back to her. "I've been pretty good, actually. I might have found a job."

"That's great news, dear. And, although I'm sure I would love your company, I think there's someone out there you'd rather visit." She smiled at me as I started. "It's written all over your face, young man. Plus, I think he needs you more."

"But, Miss Celie-"

"I'll be fine. I'll get that nice young man who joined you to come talk to me."

I glanced over at Felix who was still standing by the wall. I waved at him, and he traversed the room and was soon joining us by the window.

"Felix, this is Miss Celie. She was-"

Miss Celie, interrupted me again, her smile wide as Felix grasped her hand. "Oh, dear me. I was hoping you might visit with me while Jasper here looks in on the young patient out there by that oak tree. Do you think that might be agreeable?"

Felix looked between the old woman and the tree outside, then finally fixed me with his gaze. "We can try it, but stay in sight."

I leapt to my feet, eager to talk to Edward again. "Thank you, Miss Celie," I said, kissing her on her warm, soft cheek and then turning to Felix. "And I will, sir. I'll stay right where you can see me the entire time."

I rushed outside, the warm air a pleasant balm after the air conditioned common room. I could see Edward's feet beyond the tree, but approached him from the side where Felix could keep me in view. I knew not to press anything with him, and wanted to show that I could follow the rules.

As I approached, I noticed Edward paused in his writing, not looking up to see me, but definitely noticing my approach. His notebook was propped on his knees as he furiously scribbled across its pages.

"Hey Edward. Do you mind if I join you?"

No response this time, so I sat next to him, tilting my head back to feel the sun on my face and just breathe in another moment of freedom.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Again, no answer but a slight pause in the movement of his hand across the page. I took it as a sign of encouragement and began to talk. I didn't know what it was about him, but for some reason, I didn't hold anything back.

I couldn't figure out why, but I felt like I could tell him anything, and I wouldn't be judged, that he would listen with fairness. I started with why I was at the hospice volunteering, that it was a duty I owed, a sentence after my jail time. Beyond explaining Felix's presence, I wanted him to know why I was here and what my motivations were for visiting when I did. I took a long pause, looking over the grounds and waited for a response, waited for him to walk away from me.

He did neither.

So I continued, telling him why I was in jail and why I took the blame for something I didn't even witness. There was no response again, but I was enjoying his quiet company and being outside, so I continued to tell him my life story. I watched the sun filter through the trees, watched scrawny squirrels search for nuts in the lawn, and the lazy circles of hawks in the cloudless sky, talking the entire time.

Every larger revelation would result in a shift in Edward's position or a pause in his writing, but no words were spoken. I told him how I was a member of a fairly violent gang and how I became the person I was when I got arrested. There were many moments I skipped over, my family life a large part of that, but I didn't need to unload everything in this one afternoon.

"I'm not entirely proud of who I was when I was arrested, but at the time, it was all the family I had." I shrugged, tilting my head back to feel the sun on my face. "Maybe going to jail happened at the right time for me, before I was in too deep. I feel like I have a second chance now, and maybe fate is smiling on me. You ever feel like that?"

I looked over at Edward, and he was looking at me, his green eyes soft but unreadable. He shook his head, then returned to his writing. I had hoped we were making a connection, but I wondered if I was just making a fool out of myself, telling this dying man all my problems. I didn't know what else I could do to get to know him.

Unfortunately, at that moment, I saw that Felix was standing next to the window, and he gestured for me to come inside when he noticed I was looking.

"Looks like I have to go, Edward." He turned to me then, a questioning look in his eyes. "The boss man over there is calling me inside. But I actually had a good time sitting out here and talking with... well, I guess, more at you. It's so strange, but I feel like I could tell you anything, and you won't judge me like everyone else does." I stand and stretch and then look down at this young man, his head still bent over the pages of his journal. "I hope you let me return the favor someday."

I held out my hand to him, hoping I would get some response from him. After a few awkward seconds, I dropped my arm back to my side.

"Well, thanks, Edward. I really enjoyed talking to you. I hope to see you again next time."

I began to walk away, but behind me I heard the most beautiful words ever spoken. "I'd like that."

When I joined Felix, I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I wished Miss Celie a good day, and we walked out to the parking lot.

"So, Tuesday?" Felix asked as he reached his car.

I smiled wider. "Yes, sir. See you then."