3

After sharing the pizza with Hotch we both sat and stared at the wall for a while. I don't know what was going on in Hotch's head but my own mind was firmly on the oddness which Sam has become. Finally a couple of hours later I pull myself out of the place I'd been slipping to and I stand.

'I think you should see Sam.' I tell Hotch. 'You need to see the extent this has gone to, not because there might be something going on here, but simply because I thought you cared about Sam. Oh and really Hotch I do think something odd is going on.'

I watch as Hotch almost painfully tears his eyes away from the nothing he's been looking at and he looks up at me and gives a small nod. 'Very well, but I'm not happy that this is going to have to involve Flanders yet again. You do realise what's going to end up happening don't you?'

My turn to nod. 'I know, but this isn't me or Floyd I'm worried about. This is a teenaged boy who needs help and I don't think Floyd is capable of giving it and I know he wont listen to me. I need someone else to back up the idea of getting the lad to hospital.' I pick up my keys off the side table and rattle them. 'Follow me?'

So that's why I pull up into Floyd's driveway in early evening with Hotch in his own SUV behind me. Again I just sit and look at the ugly house for a minute and again I see that Floyd is sitting on the steps outside. This time he has a large glass of what appears to be red wine and a cheroot. At least not everything about him has changed. Hotch and I walk over together and Floyd slowly gets to his feet with a loud popping of his knees and long deep sigh. 'Well I did what you said, but he wouldn't stay put so I kind of had to make him. I suppose you're here to pry into my problems are you Aaron?' He actually puts out a hand to shake which Hotch takes with caution. 'Been a long time. You look old Aaron. Not enough time off.' Floyd then opens the double front door and leads us into the huge hallway. There's a small white table set centrally and this table is now covered in scented candles and incense. The place has a very heady cloying smell to it. 'Some sort of disguise.' Floyd waves his hands around. 'Spence knows where Sam is. Show him Spence. Let this self righteous son of a bitch see what's going on.'

'There's no need…' Hotch starts to say but Floyd cuts him off.

'…There is actually every need. You've entered my home and you've stood there and judged. You've profiled me in a blink of your prying eye and you've decided that I'm covering up the smell of something. Something rotten? Something decaying? Something I've killed and hidden in my cellar maybe? Or perhaps it's the stink of shit I'm trying to cover up. Go ahead. Go look. Excuse the mess up there. He was slightly resistant to my… my gentle persuasion. I had to use force. Don't trail dirt through my house. If there's a risk you're going to, either take off your shoes or utilise the foot coverings.' He then points to a box of disposable covers behind the door. Yes I think I was correct. Floyd's oddness about keeping things clean has reached a whole new level.

I left Floyd muttering to himself in the hallway and led Hotch up the stairs and to Sam's door. We both stood and listened at the door before entering but there was nothing to be heard. I thought I'd have at least heard Sam's mutterings but there was silence. The reason for that was because Floyd had used yards of duct tape and taped Sam to the toilet. He'd slapped a length over Sam's mouth too. He looked like a wild animal caught in a trap. I could see a large bruise coming up on his chin and I could also see that weird look in his eyes… especially that eye which didn't seem to focus on anything. I just stood looking at him but Hotch moved right on in and carefully removed the tape from Sam's mouth. 'Sam.' Hotch mumbled.

'You have to let me go. I need to cleanse my body. Let me go.' Sam's voice hissed. 'I have to be pure. I have to repent and I cant do that here. Let me go. Let me show how sorry I am. Let me show that I'm clean!' His voice was rising gradually as he started to speak faster. 'They will come and I wont be ready and all of this would have been for nothing. I need to be ready! You cant stop me.' He wriggled where he was strapped to the toilet. Floyd had placed a large towel around the naked Sam. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry… you can see this isn't my fault. You can see that I'm trying. Give me more time! I need more time… I will be ready. I will be clean. I will… I will… Let me the fuck go you cunts!' Sam was now screaming and a small cough from behind us let us know that Floyd was standing there with more tape in his hand.

'I knew you'd do that. You think I gagged him for no reason. Well obviously you did. You think I'm an idiot. Now Hotchner can you see I have a problem here?' All the time Floyd was talking Sam was screaming at us…

'You fucking dirty whore's stinking cunny fuckers! Let me go! You're sodding well going to kill me you fucking stupid penis brained handjob of a shit!' And then just a long drawn out howl.

'I've not tried to feed him. He refuses to open his mouth.'

'I cant fucking eat you stupid cunt.' Sam snapped back at Floyd. 'You will pollute my body and I'll have to start over again. I have to be empty! Why cant you understand that!'

Tears ran down Sam's face as he struggled to get off the toilet again. Hotch turned to look at Floyd and then pushed him out of the way so that he could leave the small bathroom Sam was being held in. He then grabbed Floyd and half dragged him out into the hallway. I let them go and walked slowly over to Sam. 'What's going to happen when you're chosen?' I ask him.

He looks at me as though I'm stupid. 'The end is coming Spencer. The end of everything. You have no concept of the danger we are all in. I've done so much. I've sinned and done the most dreadful things and I don't want to burn. Please Spencer. Let me go. I need to prove that I'm ready. The only way to stop yourself from burning for an eternity is to cleanse or to end it. I have to do one or the other. I cant just sit here pissing and shitting for the rest of my life. Just a few days Spencer. Just a few more days and it's all going to be over. You'll see. You'll see it and you'll know I was right and all that sodomising and eating of flesh you've done you'll sit in a puddle of your own sin and realise that I was right and you were horribly mistaken. I've done so fucking much. I have to be clean on the inside. I have to do this Spencer.'

I stare at him trying to take in all that he's saying. 'Are you talking about what was predicted in Revelations?' I ask but he just gives me a sad look and shakes his head. 'Then what is this. Who has told you to do this?'

'He did!'

I wonder for an instant if he means Floyd but he cant do. Floyd wasn't around when this started and he'd not come to me asking and virtually begging for help if he knew how to stop it. 'You need to be in hospital.' I inform him and leave the bathroom.

Aaron is telling Floyd that he cant leave Sam taped to the toilet and Floyd is muttering back that he doesn't want Sam spreading his filth all over his house.

'He should be in hospital.' Hotch says. He tells Floyd that he knows of a good doctor (probably one he's called to see me on occasions) and he'll get him to come over and see Sam. Floyd says nothing but chews on the skin around his thumb nail and stares at the plane white wall of the passageway. 'You cant leave him there like that. It's abuse.' Hotch also tells him. Floyd just looks fed up with everything and very tired. Sam's voice has lowered again to a mutter so I leave the doors open. I didn't mean for Floyd to tape him to the toilet like that. I was delusional thinking that Sam would just sit there though.

o-o-o

Hotch finally leaves with the promise that he'll send a doctor to see Sam as soon as he can and tells Floyd (who doesn't argue) that Sam cant be left where he is. After Hotch leaves I follow Floyd to a large bare kitchen where he puts on some coffee and pulls a couple of white mugs out of a white very ordered cupboard.

'I didn't think.' Floyd says when he turns to look at me. 'It never occurred to me. I've been so fucking stupid Spence.'

'Well you can just untie him. Put some plastic sheeting down on his floor. If he's not eating…'

Floyd makes a cutting gesture with his hand and frowns at me. 'I didn't mean that. No matter. Yes… plastic sheeting. Fuck. I hate this fucking house Spence. I had a cleaner in for two days and couldn't stand watching her and I don't think she liked me crawling along the floor behind her like some mutant slug checking that she'd done it right. I thought I was doing the right thing.'

'Well maybe you need to go out when the cleaner is here…'

Again that cutting gesture with his hand. 'I didn't mean that. Sod the bitch. I fired her. Gave her a month's pay and told her to fuck off. I'll do it myself but now Sam… this is going to get in the way of…' He runs a finger over the surface of the counter. '…dusting. I was told this place was twenty years old. I was told that the dust from a new build would be worse… how can it be worse than this?' I personally cant see any dust but I don't tell him so. 'I've missed you. You have no idea how much I've missed you, but you know how it goes huh? I guess you do. I've been gone and done things before.'

'And I missed you those other times too. I've got my life back though. Not that you prevented me from having a life… I just…'

Once again that gesture with his hand. 'You just… yes. I see. You have a boyfriend?'

I shake my head. 'The very last thing on my mind has been bedding someone.' I tell him… and he spots the lie immediately.

'Oh… you've not missed me hugging you at night then?' He pours the coffee and places one on the counter for me to take.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and I want more than anything to wrap my arms around him and welcome him home properly but Sam is screaming again and we or rather Floyd cant leave him there like that. 'We should sort out Sam.' I know I've evaded his question and he knows I've evaded it too. He sighs and nods and points at a long cupboard.

'Plastic sheeting. You grab that and I'll go release Sam. He'll yell like a banshee though; not that he's particularly hairy, but that stuff sticks.' He walks quickly out of the kitchen and I'm left standing there alone wondering exactly what this personality upgrade involved. So far I don't much like the look of what it's done. Floyd isn't who he used to be. He's a shadow of what and who he used to be. I decide to help him sort out Sam for now and then have a long talk with him. Even though I know how spiteful Floyd is I watch as he mutters apologies to Sam as he rips off the tape almost carefully. I can see that he doesn't want to hurt Sam more than Sam has already hurt himself. I place down the plastic over where Sam had been crouched before and Floyd half carries and half drags Sam into the corner. He pulls a blanket off a pile of what looks to be rags in the corner and wraps it around Sam's shoulders. I thought Sam would push it away but he doesn't. He drops his head and looks at where he's crouched and begins muttering apologies to some invisible person who he thinks can save him. I place a bottle of water next to him and ask that he tries to remember to drink.

'I may drink only water.' Sam whispers.

I tell him that it is just mineral spring water and he gives me a side glance and a quick nod which might have been a thank you but he's not talking to me he's carrying on his dirge begging for forgiveness.

'I need a smoke.' Floyd tells me and after closing and locking the door to Sam's room he walks back down to the kitchen and I follow him. Still there's been no physical contact between the two of us. He opens a door which leads into the gardens at the rear of the property. There's a pool there and a summer house and a long stretch of lawns before a small line of trees. 'Great place to invite friends to… pool parties you know?' I nod and sip on a fresh mug of coffee. 'Fucking waste of time and money. I'd have been better off in a damned cabin by a lake and a fuck load happier too.' I reach out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but he flinches away from me. 'Best not.' He tells me and walks towards the beautiful pool which is underlit with blue lighting. 'Gross. Flash and disgusting. Not what I want.' He lets out a long sigh and flicks his cheroot butt into the pool. 'Almost expected it to explode.' He grins at me. 'So Spencer… I'll deal with Sam tonight and I'll let you know if that doctor turns up.'

'I've not really been all that helpful.' I tell him. 'I was thinking maybe I could stay the night. Help you out?' I look back at the house. 'You have a spare room.'

'A fucking house full of spare rooms. I don't use them Spence. Sure I use the bathroom and the kitchen and you know? I don't sleep in there. No spare bedrooms I'm afraid. I don't do all that much sleeping. No point in bedrooms. I just curl up in that filth of a hallway and try to… I try…' He lights another cheroot. 'I don't want things to be like they were Spencer. I really don't want that.'

I look at him with caution. 'I don't want that either.' I let him know. I've had two pain free years mostly and I don't want him coming back and knocking me back into place again. If that was actually where he was knocking me to. My Place. 'I just want to give…'

'It's amazing don't you think Spence? It's absolutely shocking that I can not even be on the same continent and still fuck everything up over here. You'd not think it possible.'

'This isn't your fault Floyd. This is something Sam has become embroiled in and it's not something you've done.'

He sits now on a stone bench under the kitchen window and places his mug in the big white planter at his side. 'So what do you think of this new polite law abiding Flanders?' He suddenly asks me.

'Honestly Floyd. It's confusing me.' I go and sit next to him and he slides along the bench out of reach of me. 'Why wont you let me touch you?' I ask him and he sighs again and looks over at me and gives me that much loved smirk of his, but I suspect that there is a new love in his life. I cant expect him to be away that long and not have to replaced me. Though I've not replaced him. Then I'm a fool and I shouldn't be here… then he says…

'Because if I touch you I'll be reminded of how much I want and need you. I'd have to rip at your clothing and fuck you and make up for the two years of sodomy I've missed out on. I'd have to lick and pinch and touch and nibble on every bit of flesh I can get my hands and mouth on and in. I'd grind so fucking hard against you… and I'd pull you back to me and never let you go… and where is the fun in that?' He stands. I don't know if he's messing with me or not.

'I need you too.' I whisper at his retreating back and he hears me and waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder. He goes to stand at the bottom of the stairs and his head is cocked slightly to the side listening to Sam and his hands are at his side; such a familiar stance that it makes my stomach heave, but I'm not sure if it's fear that everything is going to repeat it self or if it's pure delight to be able to stand here and watch. He's concentrating and that's the only reason I think I'm able to walk up behind him and rest my hands on his hips. The reaction isn't what I thought it would be.

He spins on the spot and places a hand on my shoulder and pushes me back away from him. 'Don't… just don't Spencer.' I ask him why not. I ask him if there's someone else but he reminds me that he had told me that he'd been free of arse for two years. I then ask him if there's a woman. He flops down on the stairs and leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his head resting in his hands. 'I told you. I said I had this personality upgrade thing. A whole new me.'

'There's a woman.' I state sadly and start to walk away from him.

'She's about Sam's height. Blond. The biggest damned blue eyes you've ever seen. Skin as pale as milk. A good pair of neat firm tits and a cunny all to myself. A good arse on her too, but I leave that for other things you know? She's a great cook and a wonderful mother.' I stop walking and turn to face Floyd who's grinning broadly at me. 'Spence… for fuck's sake, there's no bloody woman. I'm who I've always been, but a bit more in control of things. At least I was more in control of things until this shit with Sam started. I'm still snorting shit, I'm still smoking my crap, I've moved from whiskey to wine. The rest of me is the same. I've not changed except for… I made a deal and that deal is something I intend fully to keep to. At least I had fully intended to keep to it, but now… now looking at you and smelling you and hearing your damned voice Spence… I don't think I'm going to be able to keep my hands out of the front of your pants for much longer. Do me a favour and just fuck off will you? Or you can stay the night in the summer house. Keys are on a hook by the rear door. Everything there you'll need. I'll show you. Follow… follow me Spencer but do me the greatest of favours and don't touch me again.'

And so I follow him to the little building out by the pool. This small place out on his lawn is probably as big as my apartment. He walks through it showing me the little rooms and flicking on light switches and pulling blinds down as we go. He shows me the telephone and boots up the television and there's even a coffee machine in the tiny kitchen. I'm not sure if what happened next had been carefully planned in his warped mind or if it just happened. I even managed to convince myself that the business with Sam was all play acting. The bedroom was the last place he showed me. A neatly made bed and a small cupboard. I stood at the end of the bed and thanked him for letting me at least stay close by for the night and that look on his face… that frown he'd had on his face all this time just drifted away and was replaced by something totally different.

In the past I would have said that Floyd used me. I know he did, but this night out in the summer house with the sound of the night creatures going on around us I assure you that it was not like that. He tried to push me back again, but I just fell back onto the bed and that was all it took. He was on me like flies to a corpse and yes he hurt me, and yes I shouted out and no he didn't use protection or prepare me, but isn't that what I love so much? He nibbled and licked and kissed me and for the first time since he left two years ago I fell asleep with someone's arms around me and my back hot and sweaty. And some things never change… no he didn't hit me… and no he wasn't there when I woke up in the morning.