~Emo Angst~

Based off "Wizard Angst," by the Potter Puppet Pals

"I feel cranky and pubescent today and I don't know why," Shane growled. "I'm gonna take it out on people I like."

"Hello, Shane." Sam popped (from the grave?) from nowhere. "What sort of tomfoolery shall we get up to today?"

"No tomfoolery today, Sam. I'm sick of your dreadful speckled mug."

Sam's face went blank. "Why must you hurt me in this way, Shane?"

"Yeah, what's your problem, Shane?" Claire said with accusatory tones in her girlish voice.

"My family is dead, my life sucks, I can't hold down a girlfriend, and I'm surrounded by f*cking vampires and sh*t all the time! I mean what the f*ck?"

"B—But it's paranormal, Shane. The vampires are paranormal!" Sam defended his people.

"Well I still have nightmares—about Myrnin eating my skin clean off every night!" Shane shouted. "I can't take it anymore. I-QUIT-MORGANVILLE."

Sam gasped.

"But what about fighting you-know-who?"

"…Why are you saying you-know-who, Claire? You guys're practically enemies with everyone," Sam said very truthfully.

"Fine, it's all up to…you now, Myrnin." Shane spun, finding Myrnin in the refrigerator, eating all their Nutella like an asshat.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but…myew," Myrnin made an indiscriminate sound of displeasure and disagreement, especially when Shane took the Nutella from him.

"Go fight Bishop!" Shane gave Myrnin a shove.

Myrnin opened a portal in time, landing in Bishop's citadel or cell or wherever the hell Amelie was keeping him, because he wasn't killed in the books just yet, or at least Rachel Caine hasn't said a word about it in the books as far as the writer knows.

"Hello, little fool." Bishop greeted cordially.

"Mmmmmmm…." Myrnin whimpered, shaking.

"Wanna piece of me? What?" Bishop shook a fist at him.

"Mmmmmm…yard sale," Myrnin muttered incoherently from fear and ran away.

"Yeah, you run away!" Bishop shouted like a wannabe gangsta as Myrnin disappeared through the portal again.

"I-I-I can't do it," Myrnin whimpered to Claire, laying his head in her lap and shaking.

"You tried your best, Myrnin." Claire patted his head and made him sit up, there was Nutella all over his face and it was getting on her jeans.

"…What's Shane doing?" Myrnin looked over to where Shane stood in the corner.

"Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst…" Shane said in time with the bashes to the wall he was doing with his face.

"He's a little off today, haven't you noticed?" Claire asked.

"Maybe he's in looove?" Myrnin sang.

Claire stared at him like he was the biggest retard on the planet, and as he stood there in lime green hip-hugging pants and Nutella spread nonsensically over his face, he pretty much was.

"Who'd fall in love with such an a—?" Eve said from the stairs.

"Maybe he needs a hug!" Myrnin cut Eve off brightly.

"I don't want a hug!" Shane shouted.

"Give me a hug, Shane." Myrnin approached him expectantly.

"No!"

"Hugging~!" Myrnin reached out and grabbed him.

"I warned you!" Shane shoved him off and started to wail on Myrnin.

Claire went away and was magically replaced by Oliver, as if beamed down by the Starship Enterprise.

"What is this rumpus?" Don't you mean ruckus, Olli-dear? You're not King Max, and this isn't Where the Wild Things Are.

"Shane hit me!" Myrnin accused as he and Shane stopped their scuffle.

"Myrnin invaded my personal bubble!"

Something Oliver could relate to. "Methinks some severe punishment is in order here."

"Oh no," Myrnin and Shane said in unison.

"The two of you will be dragged by your ears to Founder's Square, where a drunken Bishop will be waiting with a cactus, and then—"

Myrnin and Shane rushed Oliver, punching him in the stomach so hard he crapped his pants.

Oliver got an odd, almost thoughtful look on his face, and excused himself.

Amelie came in cracking up, watching Oliver walk away. "Oh man, that was awesome guys!"

"Thanks, Amelie!" Sam shouted, from the closet he'd been hiding in until this very moment in time.

"Are you still full of that emo angst, Shane?" Amelie inquired.

"I think I can appreciate life a lot more now," because he got to both use his fists twice, once against Oliver, and made Oliver crap his pants, all within the same five minutes. Yup, he was better than he'd been in years.

"Well that's just fantastic!" Amelie clapped.

Claire got beamed back down by Star Trek's Enterprise. "Hey, guys! Ew…what's that smell?"

"Why it's Oliver's greatest brew of all," Myrnin said and they all erupted in laughter.

Then Amelie flew away into the sky.

"Everyone make a wish," Myrnin whispered.