I felt like I'd been hit by a train.
The shock initially made me completely still and made my stomach drop hard. My mouth dried up like a drop of water on black pavement on a hot summer day. Then all the air left my lungs, as I forgot how to breath.
I stared directly at them, but couldn't see them. The pain before me was too much to bare. I'd drown in sorrow. It wasn't true, it couldn't be.
My legs were starting to give out from under me. I no longer had the strength to stand or the desire. But I knew if I curled up into a tight ball and mourned, I'd be accepting it. And I didn't have the strenght to accept it.
""Y-you're lying." I didn't know if I whispered or said it mentally, "You're lying you've been lying to me all this time."
Rage suddenly filled every pore in my being, "You're lying!" I screamed, "Tell me the truth! Where are they!?"
Dr. O'Neil turned her head, and Dr. Goldstein's face grew stern.
"Daniel, you and I both know this is the truth. And the sooner you accept that the sooner you'll move on."
Livid, I threw my arms in between the cell bars and seized the collar of his white lab coat.
"Why are you lying to me!? Who are you and what do you want from me!?" I bellowed.
I screamed at him louder and more angrily than I ever did in my whole life. Louder than when Mikey made a mess of my lab, and angrier when the Foot were cornering April.
My shoulders swayed up and down and I panted like I just finished running a marathon. Dr. Goldstein just seemed to have been waiting for me to get over it.
I glared with as much hatred I could muster into his eyes, but he remained stoic. Finally the pain left me and I released my grasp, and in the process allowed my body to sink to the floor.
I sat on the floor, hugging my legs, trying to keep those awful words from sinking in.
The next few moments were silent, until I heard footsteps receding to the door.
"We will give you some time to process this Daniel. Please feel free to talk to me whenever you're ready."
His words were emotionless as a wall. There wasn't even enough spite in them to make him seem as though he were mocking me. Something told me I'd be better off finding compassion within the Kraang than anywhere here.
The door slammed shut and I was completely alone.
You would think that once one found out their entire family was dead, they would cry. You may suppose they fall to the floor weeping, screaming in agony, or something to that effect. But they would be wrong. When you find out someone you love has died, you don't cry, you can't, or at east thats what I felt.
Crying wouldn't be enough.
I felt like an awful person, but I wasn't even sad. I was scared.
I was afraid of the pain that would inevitably come once I accepted I'd never see my family again. The massive loss and devastation frightened me, so I decided not to feel it.
Instead I swallowed my instinct to overreact . I took a deep breath and only let the rational thoughts in.
They have been lying to me all this time, its well more than possible that they're lying about this as well.
I looked to my leg and rolled my eyes at myself, if they can change me human they could definitely fix a broken hip and a scar.
I ran my hand over it. There was little to no chance I could catch them in their lie either. Whatever game they're playing the rules seemed to be more flexible in their favor than a rubber band. Even if I did catch something off, they'd never admit it to me. Or if they did, it wasn't like they'd just let me go home.
I'd have to play along.
That was the only means of escape. I groaned, but I had so much more to consider.
If they were lying about my brothers, then they may have them as well. They'd never admit to this either. And they could have changed them human too. I sighed, there was little to nothing I could do in this cell. But if I wasn't mistaken, mental hospitals don't keep patients in cells exclusively.
Maybe if I 'improved' my behavior, they'd at least allow me to roam around.
I felt my head fall back, but that was a pretty big maybe.
I wasn't sure how long I sat there racing all these plans in my mind, but it must have been a while since my stomach started growling.
I had foolishly skipped dinner the night before my brothers and I went on that training run in order to have more time to work on that retro mutagen. A decision I was now severely regretting.
The doors slid open and Dr. O'Neil walked in with a clipboard.
"Hi Daniel," she said softly, "I came to check on you."
She could have been April's duplicate, given that she was a little older. She had the same smile, the same stride, and overall the same demeanor. I found it comforting, even though I knew the last thing I should be doing is trusting anyone here.
"I'm hungry." I muttered, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.
She smiled, "Well then I suppose its time you come with me to the diner."
She put her clipboard down and pulled out a shiny pair of handcuffs from the pocket of her lab coat.
I immediately pulled back.
"Sorry Daniel, it's protocol." She said, unlocking my cell door and stepping in.
I couldn't help but think of Raph, how he would never let an opportunity like this pass up. He'd probably charge her, take the keys and bolt out of here.
However that was where we were different. For now I'd have to mimic the hunter, as Splinter had instructed us to do many times, I'd have to wait in the shadows for my chance o strike.
I held my hands out so she could secure the cuffs.
"How will I eat?" I asked.
"We'll bring your food back here, I thought you could use a walk."
I swear I saw her blush.
As a former 6 ft, walking, talking, mutant turtle, I had very little experiences with nice places. I grew up in the sewers o New York for crying out loud. So as sad as it is to say, that mental hospital was the nicest place I've ever been.
The walls were tall and lined with glissening wood. The glass extended up two stories. Outside of them were the grandest mountains I've ever seen (and that was largely due to the fact that I'd never seen mountains in real life before).
The yellows and reds of the sunset painted the sky.
I couldn't help but pause and stare wide eyed at them. Dr. O'Neil paused too, and patiently awaited for me to finish.
"Hollows Mental Hospital strives to keep at prime living conditions for the benefit of all of its residents. We believe here a majestic environment can do wonders in restoring one's humanity."
I raised my eyebrow at this. I kind of wanted to tell her that a prison was still a prison, no matter how nice it was.
"So, Dr.O' Neil." I started, "I couldn't help but notice you share a striking resemblance to a friend of mine, and share her last name. Is there by any chance you know of an April O'Neil?" I asked.
She giggled and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Daniel, April is my first name."
"Oh..." I said, and fell silent, I wasn't quite sure what to think of that.
We continued on for a while without talking. And I was thankful for that. All of my attention went to scoping the surroundings.
For a mental hospital I noticed they sure had a lot of guards, two guarding each door, and not so many patients. I saw a few, but they were at least numbered one to four by the security. Also each and every guard gave us a look as we passed. My suspicions were only heightened.
"You sure do have a lot of security here." I muttered, I wondered if Mikey would be impressed by my acting skills.
"Safety here is our number one priority," she responded simply.
"Yea? And what exactly is keeping you from being safe?"
She stopped short and looked at me dead straight in the eyes, "Some of the patients here, though no fault of their own, can act...unstable." She put her hand on my shoulder, "Our only wish is to keep them from harming themselves."
There were more people inside the cafeteria, it was almost crowded.
It was divided into two rooms. The bigger had some nice booths, a full open view of the mountain side, and several of salad and buffet bars bordering the walls. This was where the workers ate.
The other room was about half the size, and consisted of three long tables, each packed with patients. The only light source was a shaking ceiling lighting that was flickering on and off.
The food didn't look nearly as appetizing, there was only one line, only serving some grey looking chicken and barely cooked rice. I felt my appetite run for cover.
As soon as we came in however I could feel all the eyes in the room looking up from their tray to us. I wished I had my shell back so I could just hide in it.
April grabbed a tray and ave me a sympathetic look.
"We tend not to get a lot of support financially, but we buy what we can, and sometimes ignoring quality for quantity."
I looked to the workers lunch room and glared, "Doesn't seem to be a problem for them."
After April had splattered the grey chicken, which smelled as bad as it looked, and rice, which made me miss slime and algae, she put her finger to her lip and snuck over to the workers room to grab the biggest loaf of bread and stashed it in her coat, then came back and hastily led me out of the room.
I could have laughed, not one person in there hadn't seen what she had just pulled.
"I don't pull risks like that for just anyone." she smiled at me.
"Well don't I feel special, "I responded, in one of my fakest voices.
To give credit where credit is due, they played this game very well.
The walk back to my cell was silent as well I was probably the most cooperative ex ninja turtle they've ever encountered.
"Why am I locked up exactly?" I asked, as April finished securing the lock to the cell
She sighed heavily and looked up at me, "Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"
I glared at her, "I told you, I fell off a building, then heard my brother and when I went over..."
"That never happened Daniel," she snapped, the looked at me in remorse, "I mean, you imagined that."
I folded my arms, "Okay then you tell me what happened."
It was slowly killing me to play along with their ridiculous games.
"Well after your brothers...passed, you were in mourning. Well melancholy's more like it. For two years you didn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone. You were one of our most reclusive patients, then you... snapped. You ran away one night, and were missing for three months. Finally a little over a month ago, we found you near death in the sewers. We brought you home and you've been recovering in a sort of trance ever since."
I tilted my head, sounded like one of those tragic backstories of a character on Master Splinter's soap opera series.
"How did my brothers die?" I asked slowly.
She stared hard at the ground and whispered, "Your father murdered them."