I passed my exam this week with a 10 (highest grade), so in just a few minutes I'm leaving for my well-earned vacation to the sea.

I'll update my other fics when I come back, this should tie you over until then.

Give me a nice surprise and leave lot's of reviews for when I come back!

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"Don't worry, Jennifer." Jack tried to reassure her. Or himself, he wasn't sure. Awkwardly patting her on the back he continued. "You'll meet some nice, young man, or an alien." which considering their work was quite probable, since after all Carter had become involved with a few over the years"... or an interesting doohickey will be waiting for you when you get back to the base and you'll forget all about me and what happened."

She couldn't help but resent the implication that she was the shallow type who forgets one man as soon as she meets another attractive man. Or an alien. She couldn't believe he actually believed she'd ever forget him, even if he didn't know he was her first. How could he even think that anyone would ever forget him, even if they hadn't had sex? She definitely never would.

She of course didn't know that Jack had some major age issues and definitely a serious lack of self-estem, which was what had made him say those words. He couldn't see what such a beautiful, smart young woman would see in such an old, tired soldier as he. Last night she'd been drunk, as had he. And alcohol makes people stupid, alters their perceptions and destroys their inhibitions. He was almost 22 years her senior, even if the regs wouldn't be a problem, why would she even want to be seen with him...

Needless to say, Jack was a mess of insecurities and worry while he was fishing his boxers from under the bed and at the same time trying not to expose himself. Once he had them out, he slipped them on under the covers and stood.

Looking down at her, seeing her so lost and unsure, and even sad, he felt tugging at his heart and knew he couldn't just disappear like a ghost into the night. From what he knew of her he guessed she was the same type of person as he who took intimacy quite seriously and developed an attachment to whoever she shared it with. Which was him.

And no matter the fact that they'd broken the regs, which was something he hadn't done even with the woman whom he'd loved for years, he himself felt the loss at what they had to forget.

He also knew he'd been short and commanding and definitely not the type of a man a woman wants to wake up to in the morning after their first night together. He'd been a jackass, simply put. But he'd been so overwhelmed by the implications of what they'd done and what the fallout would be that he'd simply panicked.

He knew he had to correct this and he knew he had to make sure she didn't think all men were bastards. He didn't want to destroy things for a nice young man who'd love her in the future, whom she would't give a chance only because her experiences had been with bastards and so she thought every man was like that.

Hesitantly he put his hand on her shoulder, gratified she didn't stiffen at the contact.

"Look, Jennifer, I'm sorry for the way I reacted earlier. I immediately thought of the worst case scenario and panicked. Basically, I acted like a jerk."

She didn't say anything, only made a small sound that said she agreed with him on his description of himself. Even as he'd said it he knew it wouldn't be enough, so he wasn't surprised.

He sat down next to her, looking down at his clasped hands.

"I didn't meant to be brutish, but my job is to find the easiest solution to any problem to get my people out of danger and that is what I did. I just forgot that this isn't a battlefield and combat, there are feelings involved here, no matter what they are and I forgot people would get hurt with the way I acted. And I just don't do well with feelings."

Jennifer was still looking away from him so he put his hands on her shoulder again and gently turned her around. When she refused to meet his eyes he put his finger under her chin and lifted her troubled gaze up to his and took hold of her hands.

"Tell me now, do you think you can still work under my command after this? Or do we have to make some other arrangements?"

She straightened her back. "What about the regs? What will you do? Report yourself?"

Jack shood his head, sighing. "I'll have to. I slept with a direct subordinate."

"No!" she exclaimed "Don't do that! It wasn't your fault, no more than it was mine. We were drunk and what was taking place last night had understandably upset you. You're the best CO the SGC can have with General Hammond in DC and if you report yourself then there's no doubt some interested group will take the opportunity and put one of their own in your place, deliberately destroying you or even the SGC in revenge. Besides, you've personally given permissions to several couples to be together at the SGC, so forgiving yourself a drunken transgression is the least you can do for yourself. We can go back to the way it was and forget this ever happened, no problem. Just don't hang yourself for having made one small mistake. You didn't force me, I wanted it."

He knew she was right, but he also knew he had to pay for what he did. A battle raged inside him.

On the other hand she was right about everything, especially about the fallout this would have for him personally and for the SGC.

Hell, it was true, after he'd taken command of the SGC he had personally called in couples he knew had been in the same situation as he and Sam (before Sam had left him behind) and in a round about way, so it would still stay off the record and no direct confirmation of any breach of protocol given, had asked them what they wanted. Those who wanted to have a relationship had received his permission, along with written waivers put into their personnel files. Those who hadn't wanted it had continued as they had and since no names had been named the conversation had not happened and he didn't know anything about any unprofessional feelings. If he'd done that for so many other people, why couldn't he forgive himself a one-time drunken affair, which had happened only because of too much stress, grief and alcohol?

But on the other hand he was a man of honor, who had always respected the regs no matter how much he bent them.

She frantically searched his eyes as he deliberated. They both knew what she'd said was the truth and that it would be best to act as if nothing had ever happened. But her little secret was that she didn't want him out of her life, even if he was just her CO. He'd been important to her before, but from now on he'd be more important than any other man. He was her first mature, though quiet and secret, love and the first man she'd made love to, the one she'd given her priceless gift to. There was no man in the world who could ever compete with that.

Finally he sighed and hung his head. "Okay, I won't turn myself in."

Jennifer's shoulders slumped in relief. If she couldn't undo the events of the past 12 hours, the least she could do was to insure no innocents paid for a simple mistake. And mistake it had been and it would never be repeated. They could go back to being CO and subordinate and it wouldn't affect their work. It wasn't as if they were two star-crossed lovers, who had given in to their feelings after a few years of emotional agony, and who can't do anything but go forward with a relationship..

Jack patted her hand and then let go.

"I'll go into the living room to get dressed and then make myself scarce."

He rose, picking the few items of his clothing that were tossed randomly over the insides of the bedroom, doubtlessly the rest littered the rest of her apartment, and stopped at the door. Trying to smile and not managing it, he tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry, Jennifer, everything will be okay. We'll get through this and we'll move on. Simple."

She smiled wanly at him and he left, leaving behind an empty spot, not just in her bed, but also in her heart.

--

Two months later, as she was staring at a row of nine different pregnancy tests, all showing the same result, Jennifer Hailey could be only amazed at how stupid they'd been to think it could ever be that simple.

THE END!

I know I left it open-ended, but there is only one possible end I accept for romance fics, which this fic is. If you don't know, ask my other readers, who've been reading my work for years. Or just check my other romance fics.

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