Hann-R

Calm after the Storm

By: MPNFF/CAM

Play dead.

I remember Lalna - Master - telling me to play dead. He had told me this whilst he put a red curtain over my body, as if I had been too special to be sighted. He had took me roughly by the shoulders - though I had only felt this with my right side- and led me out of the room and into the daylight. In the sunlight, the red curtain had become highlighted, and the sun shining through had made my eyes - well, eye- sore. I had looked away; it was bad enough I was blind in one eye already. Out the door and the castle, he had stopped me. I had heard his footsteps against the crisp dead grass as he supposedly faced me.

"Why play dead?" I had asked silently.

Master did not answer for a few moments. The awkward silence between us had grown each second, making me anticipate his answer even more.

"Because everybody thinks you're dead." He had answered. I had heard the smile in his voice, and that had made a part of me feel uncomfortable. My stomach had begun to feel unsettled. What was this new sensation? Something inside told me it was not new, but it also was. How odd.

"Oh," I had answered. Lalna- er, Master, had obsessively tugged at the curtain, making sure it had covered me fully.

"There we are," he had muttered, retracting his hands. Though I couldn't see him, I had looked towards the dark red silhouette of his body. He had clapped his hands, causing me to flinch.

"Oh-sorry." He had giggled. The chimes of his laughter had rung in my ears, as if they had been attempting to jog my memory of something.

"Now, I have to go get ready for this… event." He had told me. The velvet had brushed up against me as he flew off back into his castle, leaving me in confusion. Event?

What did he mean?

Later that afternoon the word 'event' made sense.

An hour later I had heard voices. Familiar voices, in fact. One had been fairly deep, and very British. The other had come off as a mixed accent. It was one I had heard before.

I'm so sorry, Lom. So sorry…

The words had echoed in my mind suddenly. It had been the same tone of voice I had been hearing that very day. Or had it been the day before?

Minute by minute more people had flooded in, and soon I had been able to make out at least seven voices. Most weren't familiar to me, but two of them in particular had the voices that stood out most to me. Two people had conversed about a person by the name of 'Nick Cage' and how he had been under the red curtain. I soon realized that they had been talking about me, for the only thing under a red curtain was I. One conversation that immensely had stuck out (and was what seemed to be the closest thing near me) was the two's familiar voices.

"Hey, guys!" A thick Scottish accent had joined the conversation. Again, another familiar voice. "How's your afternoon going?" Whoever this man was, he had been attempting small talk with the other familiars.

"Pretty good, I guess," The British familiar had replied. "Um, where's Lomadia?"

That's when it hit me. That word, that name. It made me feel like I should have responded to the question. But, I hadn't been this 'Lomadia,' had I?

No. I had been Hann-R.

No! Something inside me had yelled. Whoever had yelled inside of my head sounded quite frustrated. But, the voice sounded like my own, as well. But, Lalna- sorry, Master-

Urgh! Why do I keep BLOODY doing that? The voice had complained.

"Alright, everyone!" An eighth voice entered the area, and I had known it was Lalna- or, Master. Whatever! "Are you ready to see why we're all here?"

Cheering could be heard all around me. I had begun to feel even more unsettled.

Remember, I had reminded myself, play dead.

The curtain that once shielded my view had been removed quickly, surprisingly leaving no static for my hair to go insane. I had moved my glare to straight ahead, staring way off. But, it hadn't been me who had looked that way, was it? I had stood like I was in the military. From the corner of my right eye, I had seen Master, standing there, arms outstretched and pointing in my direction. There had been a few pairs of eyes on me. But why had I been so important? An awkward silence had slowly begun to bulldoze through us all, and so badly I had the urge to scratch my nose or shift or- something!

The Scottish man- who I had then knew was a strikingly familiar dark-haired man sporting glasses and a green tie- had begun to laugh slightly. "It kind of looks like Lomadia! How'd you do that?"

That name again! It had felt important to me. Almost as if I owned it...

But I didn't.

Not anymore, anyways.

"She does? Huh, I never really noticed." Easily I had heard hints of Master being nervous, and then the hints became even more obvious when he began to laugh. Giggle, even. A man that also looked strikingly familiar, with his chocolate brown hair and crimson jacket, had then placed a hand on Master's shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

"Friend...? Are you feeling okay?" It was the same British man that I had heard. The one whose voice had also sounded so familiar. He had blue eyes and dark brown hair. He had seemed so familiar... Master, who had been facing me, continued to laugh, and his laugh had changed again. A smile soon had appeared on his face, and slowly he turned to Dark Hair Blue Eyes. Dark Hair Blue Eyes had stepped back quickly, looking at Master with concerned eyes. A shorter man bearing a long ginger beard and black eyes had reached for Dark Hair Blue Eye's arm, pulling him away. Ginger Beard had looked damn familiar as well, and at the moment his eyes were quite glassy.

"There's something you should know..." He had sniffled. I then had recognized him as the Scottish-British voice. Dark Hair Blue Eyes had turned to face Ginger Beard, and I had noticed Dark Hair's chest rise. All the sudden he was looking around frantically, demanding what was going on.

"Nilesy," Ginger Beard had said, looking to the Scotsman in the green tie. This 'Nilesy' person walked up to Ginger Beard.

"How long has Lomadia been away? I want the truth."

That damned name again! I had watched for 'Nilesy's' reaction. The Scotsman had seemed to shift, as if he was in an uncomfortable position. "Uh... a-a-"

Ginger had cut him off. "A week?"

Nilesy had nodded. Ginger Beard placed a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly, Master spoke again, and this time he was not happy.

"What does that have to do with any of this?" His gaze had seemed to be locked onto Ginger Beard. How peculiar. Suddenly, a warm hand had been placed on my shoulder- my real shoulder- and I had noticed it was Masters hand. Oh, had this all finally ended? Was he taking me back inside? I really had not liked being put out in the open like that.

Slowly, making it barely noticeable, I had moved my eyes from one person to another. Ginger Beard had seemed scared and depressed, while Dark Hair had looked slightly impatient and confused.

An unexpected thing happened at that moment. Ginger Beard's beady black eyes had fled across the scene to meet mine, and for a brief moment, we had locked gazes. Taking a much deeper look into the short man's eyes, I had realized he was no stranger to me, not at all. I knew him, but from where was the question? Ginger beard, beady black eyes?

A sudden faint memory had struck me like lightning. My eyes widened with realization.

I was on my old tire swing, head hung down and hair brushing against the grass as I swung back and forth, smiling wide as I kicked my feet against the earthy soil to keep moving. And then the rubber texture of the tire swing turned into a cold steel counter, and I was tied down. Instead of my hair grazing the grass, it grazed the red-splattered marble floor as I shook my head, attempting to get my vision in-tact. Instead of my family's old backyard with bright green grass and a giant oak tree, I was in a small concealed room.

I wanted to scream. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I could barely see, and if I could make out anything at all, it was only out of my right eye. I felt like a homeless puppy in that moment. Lost, scared. Suddenly! A small dot of cold fuzzy sensation. Then another. This sequence continued around my hips, and faintly I could make out the pleasant-but-toxic scent of permanent marker.

Somewhere around me, to my right, I supposed, was a tubberware rattling sound. With all the strength I could manage, I turned my head towards the source, seeing very little. A massive smudge of red-orange, black, and a tanned-flesh colour entered my poor vision. Interested in knowing what the strange mess of blended colours was, I blinked for what seemed a whole minute until my view came a little more into focus. If I had enough energy, I would have gasped.

Honeydew. Why was he here? Blood was splattered over his face, his eyes showed only sorrow and fear. Tears ran down his face, some travelling down into his cuts and gliding over his bruises. My eyes were only the slightest bit open, and I was sure he didn't notice I was awake at the time.

He wouldn't have had the time to know I was even the tiniest bit conscious, either. Sudden pain plunged into me, causing my body to jolt upwards, my limbs moving with it in the slightest way. The pain did not stop there, oh no. It continued. Continued until I became weaker and weaker, and soon I blacked out.

"Honeydew! Are you even listening?!" Dark Hair had been shaking Honeydew roughly, causing the dwarf to tear up once again, looking over to Dark Hair.

"Xeph…" Honeydew had only replied. Suddenly, he had grabbed Dark Hair by the arms, spinning him around to face… me. As he rotated around, I adopted the same blank look and look straight ahead. Masters orders.

Oh, but how could I resist looking into the sky-blue eyes that stared into mine? Giving in, I stared back, like really gazed. He too, was a familiar. For a while, the two of us just both gazed into each other's eyes as I fought with my mind to figure out how I knew him…

"Look… look at her. What do you see?" Honeydew had asked.

We had locked gazes for so long that I had not noticed Master had sneaked away. If I had been paying attention I would have said something, but I was too mesmerized by the sky blue irises that encompassed the man's pupils. Though, moments like these can never last too long, and 'Xeph' tore his eyes from mine. His eyes were now on Honeydew, who seemed to be having a small moment of his own.

"Friend?" Xeph had asked, a concerned look shadowing over his face. I, too took a glance over at Honeydew, who seemed to be shaking like a hairless cat in the rain. Staring off into dead space for a moment, Honeydew shook his head, took Xeph's hand in his, and quickly walked off with him, seeming to block out the taller man's protests.

Minutes later, crashing and yelling could be heard. I had watched as the panicked faces made their way through to the castle as I stood there, deep in thought. I was trying to put the pieces to the puzzle together, only it seemed hard to find the missing pieces. All I knew was that Honeydew, he was there when… it happened, and the people around me seemed so very familiar.

That day I had realized what really happened to me, and who knew. Master never returned for me, and people stuck around for a while before walking out of the main entrance, tears in their eyes. Soon, everybody had left, and the sky had tears in its eyes, as well. A light downpour showered over the world, causing me to worry about my arm. Would it rust? Was master ever going to return to me?

My arm was fine, but Master was not.

X

It's obvious he's not coming back, idiot. Why do you think he is?

These conversations with… the other voice, they were headache-causing. She wanted to take over, but I had no idea why. She was feeding me lies.

I bet you he's fucking dead.

No, that can't be true! Though he's been gone for a week, he was full on supplies!

Oh, really? Go check it all out then. Go on!

But, Master said-

Just go, screw Lalna! And stop calling him bloody Master! Stupidest thing I've ever heard!

It had been a week since the showcasing, and I had been standing in the same place ever since it happened. Master had never come for me. Secretly I was beginning to doubt the fact he was ever going to return. And, I was beginning to think that the other voice was right when she said Master was dead. But… what if he wasn't? Only one way to find out, I supposed.

Taking chances, I took a step forward. Then another. Soon, I was at a regular pace, walking through the large entrance of the castle. I walked through to the storage area, and found my room entrance left open. Master had always told me to keep it closed. How strange. Hesitantly, I took a step into the hallway, seeing my bed- the bloody steel counter. This brought back memories of the… process. Holding in my breath, I walked straight into the room, ignoring the memories that flashed into my mind like lightning.

And then I saw it.

Pools of blood, gracefully swirling around that small space in front of the weapons. And what was drowning in the pool of blood? Master's lab coat. You could still identify small specks of white, but other than that, the piece of clothing was either pink or pure bright red.

Oh my Christ… does this prove anything to you now?

I did not reply, though I could tell she was almost as shocked as I was then. Master was dead. This was proof enough. I knelt down beside the disgusting pool, observing the lab coat more closely. A bulge in the breast pocket caught my eye, and it was a small rectangle. It resembled a small remote. Cringing, I reached out and grasped the small remote, bringing it closer to my range of sight.

This was no ordinary remote- it was my remote. In order to be controlled by Master, he had made a special remote.

That's sick.

I wanted to admit I agreed. But, there was no time for that. The disgusting stench of death filled my nose, and I began to feel like I was going to vomit. I had to get out as quickly as possible.

X

Outside, as the mobs burned, I looked at the remote in my grasp, the thing that changed me forever. Anger bolted through me, sending the tips of my mouth to aim to the south. My teeth clenched, I threw it to the ground. It did not break, though.

That was pretty shit. You can do better than that, c'mon girl! It's the thing that broke me- us- forever! Don't you want to be yourself again?

No.

… Maybe.

Yes.

Before I let myself think, I lifted my right foot, and smashed it down on the remote. I felt every bit of machinery inside it become crushed and useless. Almost instantly after that, this immense pounding sensation rose throughout my head, and it was only getting stronger. For a few seconds I thought I was going to faint or just plain blackout. The pain surprisingly did not make me lose sight, thank God, but it did send me to my knees, tears streaming down my cheeks. If you've ever had such a strong sensation of pain that you couldn't even cry out, you would understand.

It took a few long moments before the pain finally subsided, giving me relief.

What the bloody hell was that even, anyways? I asked the other half. No reply. My mind felt less full, and I was able to think alone for once. Whatever happened to the computerized me, it must have had something to do with the remote. Perhaps I was me, Lomadia, once again?

I stood up straight, clutching my head lightly. The mobs had developed into harmless ashes now, and I was safe.

Or, I would be safe when I got away from the damned castle.

X

May 1st

"Ah! Would you cut it out?" Xephos complained, batting Mister Owl's talons from his face. Sometimes the owl confused him- had the truce Mister Owl and him made meant nothing to him? If so, they were going to have major problems…

He watched as the owl stuck out his fluffy chest, flapped his wings once more, then moved towards a nearby tree. Xephos sighed. Sassy, this owl was. The spaceman continued to walk up the path, not actually sure where he was going. But, did that even matter to the spaceman on this particular day?

It had been a month since the whole… thing, went down. And this day was harder than ever for him.

It was his anniversary.

Well, their anniversary. Xephos and Lomadia's anniversary, to be exact. Today was supposed to be a special day. 3 years was a long and spectacular! Except…

How were you supposed to be happy, when the other half of you was gone?

Well, maybe she wasn't gone. Or, was she? The whole thing that had happened a month ago still confused Xephos, and when he tried to get Honeydew to explain, he would only tear up. Xephos couldn't blame him for crying, as he had been crying waterfalls himself over the whole thing, despite him not understanding it.

Just earlier that morning he had asked his dwarven pal how it all happened. The two had awkwardly laughed at some joke Honeydew had made, and the silence that had been waiting to return came forth ward. Xephos had laid a hand on the dwarves' knee, sighing sadly.

"You know, you're going to have to tell me sometime." He remembered saying.

Honeydew had sighed, nodding sadly. "I-I know. Just… give me time, alright?"

"Okay." Xephos had agreed. And from there, they carried on with their daily routines.

It wasn't every day that Xephos took a walk, but he felt the sudden need to just… walk away from it all somehow.

Of course, that wasn't where his feet were guiding him. Through the distance, two graves sat next to each other, and way on the opposite side of the two graves, another figure walked towards them.

X

Two gravestones. I could barely make them out in the distance with my limited length of vision. Could they have been mine and Lalna's?

Huh, no corrections?

I began to think the other me, Hann-R, or whatever, was gone completely. It was all me now, just with one eye and one arm that were completely natural and not put there by an insane man. I walked towards them, squinting through the thick fog that clouded over the world that day. A human figure came into view, and he, too, was walking over to the graves. As I came closer, I quickly and automatically identified the man.

How could Hann-R have been so stupid? Surely, anybody would remember Xephos, especially somebody who was me.

My right hand grazed one of the tombstones, waiting for him to see me. A small plump animal flew towards me suddenly, and my first thought was to duck. But, I knew better than that.

Mister Owl perched on my left shoulder, pecking at the mechanical arm that was forever to be connected to me. Though I wasn't sure of the strength it could manage, I raised my left arm, gently petting his head. He nuzzled into the robotic fingers. I was thankful Mister Owl was smart. He knew it was me still inside of this monster Lalna had created.

X

Pain struck my heart as I saw her, causing tears to form. I realized I had abandoned her, but I guess I was too sucked into the moment… how could I have been so stupid? And when Honeydew made me look into her eyes… sure one of them was glass…

… But the other was painfully familiar.

We locked gazes, and for moments I couldn't find words to speak. What words could you say to somebody in such a condition?

"Happy anniversary…" I finally croaked, on the edge of tears then.

Lomadia walked towards me, and I noticed that Mister Owl had found his true owner once again. I took a long sorrowful look at her, taking in her slightly-frazzled hair, her glass eye with a crack spread across, her tore sleeve where her robotic arm protruded from… at this point, tears were travelling down my face, and I clamped my eyes shut. Soon, her arms wrapped around me- one arm the familiar soft-skinned one, the other hard and bionic- and I rested my head on her chest, sobbing very hard. Lomadia's own tears from her one eye landed on my hair as she held me.

Once I had gotten at least half of myself together, I pulled away, grabbing her non-robotic hand. I gestured to her, letting out a sad whine. She nodded, giving a sad chuckle.

"I know," she chocked out.

"L-look at you… you've got this-" I pointed to her robotic arm, then looked to her face. "And that eye…"

She sniffled, nodding, wiping a single tear from her pale face. "I know," she could only repeat.

I brought her in for another hug again, sobbing into her royal blue tunic. "I'm so sorry," I repeated.

She continuously hushed me, rubbing my back soothingly. "It wasn't your fault. If anything, you saved me."

"I- I did?"

"You killed Lalna… who knew what he was going to do next?"

This only made me wail harder. Lalna was dead. How could it get any worse?

Lomadia sighed after minutes went by. She had just held me like that for minutes, and frankly, I didn't mind. I missed her. She was the person I came to when I needed a huge deal of advice and comfort, let alone she was my girlfriend. My lovely other half.

She soon rested her head onto mine, both of us down to only sniffling now.

"Xeph?" She whispered.

"Yes?"

"Can you take me away from this hell-hole now?"

I had to chuckle. I was relieved my Lom was returning to normal. I pulled away from our embrace, wiping stray tears and nodding. Her hand still in mine, we began to walk onto the trail I came from, back to Honeydew Inc.

X

Entering the factory, I was met by Honeydew, fishing through some chests that lay on the bottom floor. He looked up at the sound of the door creaking open, and his face paled at the sight of me. We stared at each other for a moment, me and him. We both knew.

As I was about to take a step towards him, he did it all for me- quickly rushing towards me and guiding me into one of his classic dwarf-bear hugs. I returned the gesture, glad to see Honeydew wasn't tormented as much as I was. He had a few healing cuts and bruises here and there, but he didn't have a glass eye and a mechanical arm.

"I should have stopped him…" He whimpered, his grip tightening.

I awkwardly patted his back, then evolved back into tough-bitch Lomadia. I grabbed him by the shoulders, looking him dead in the eyes with my one.

"Look, I don't think you could have done anything. I knew what was happening- I don't blame you."

Honeydew stared into my eye(s) long and hard before nodding slowly. He knew better than to mess with me. I let go of his shoulders, backing up.

"Are you alright?" Honeydew asked finally.

"I'm better now." I said, and, for the first time in a while, smiled.

And so, Honeydew and Xephos took me in for a while, refreshed my memory and such. And eventually, yes, Honeydew and I did explain what had happened that day, which ended up with all three of us bawling our goddamn eyes out. We all knew it would be a long time before we could put what happened in the past, but we knew it was a deed that had to be done eventually.

Then, one day…

"I have to go see Nilesy." I announced a week later. We had just finished our breakfast of pork, and were all sitting around this makeshift table on the main floor. Xephos looked up at me, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I guess she has to, Xephos. Nilesy was pretty worried back there." Honeydew agreed.

Xephos looked back and forth, from me to Honeydew. Finally, he sighed, standing up.

"Right- let's go then."

X

Owl Island was exactly how I remembered it. Though we were in the process of relocating our schemes, the chests that we were stashing things to move still remained.

"So," Honeydew spoke up, "this is Owl Island."

"Yep!" I said, feeling more confident on my own piece of land. I landed beside the chests, opening one up. Sure enough, contents from the secret room underneath the fishing hut still lay around in the chest. This told me Nilesy never began to transport things to the new place. Hopefully the man was still around here…

"I guess this is good-bye," Honeydew spoke up. I turned around facing the two, a sad smile on their faces. It had been a fun couple of days, reminiscing with the two like never before. I couldn't help but feel much closer to them.

I nodded, folding my hands in front of me. Honeydew smiled, stepping forward to give me another hug. When he pulled away, I had no choice but to go serious on him.

"I'm sorry you had to see what happened…" I sighed.

Honeydew shook his head. "Don't feel bad, Lom. Sure, it did in fact scar me for, like, all eternity, but I'll be fine." He gave a smile, and I could tell it was an honest smile.

Now, Xephos came forward, holding something behind his back. "I, um… I was meaning to give this to you before, but…" Not finishing his sentence, he pulled out from behind him, a leather pilot cap… no, my leather pilot cap. Faint red stains could be noticed, but barely.

"I-I tried to scrub out the blood stains best I could. Um…" Xephos scratched the back of his head, his cheeks flushed slightly. My smile grew at this as I took the cap. I pecked him on the lips lightly, making his blush grow. We ignored Honeydew's "ugh" from the background.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're-you know, you're welcome… and, also… I wanted to say… I'm no Lalna, and I might not always be able to hang out with you but… I'd like to try."

I nodded. It had been a while since we had spent time together, just the two of us. "I'd like that."

Xephos smiled. "Alright, okay." He backed up beside Honeydew, looking to the ground. "Well, bye, I guess."

I laughed. "Bye."

I watched as my two friends flew off, then my gaze trailed down to my leather cap. I slipped it on my head, pushing stray hairs from my face.

I may not look the same, but I was still Lomadia.