Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach

A/N: Oookay so sorry for the late update. I was really busy. This one is pretty different from the last two chapters. Prompt by ayushi. I hope this doesn't disappoint you!

Thank you hunterofcomedy, teshichan, Player Zero, AdilaRain and ichirukilover101999 for your wonderful reviews :3 And also all those who favorite/followed. Motivation, yay! And yep, AdilaRain, I'll definitely work on your request xD sounds fun!

Hormones

"Ichigo," the raven-haired woman called from behind his back in a cold tone.

He turned around with a warm smile only to be surprised into a frown as he looked at her.

"Rukia," he shook his head, walking to her. "What are you walking around with that knife in your hand for? It's hazardous to child safety."

"Kisama…" she glared up at him. "You're calling me a kid?!"

"I'm. Not. Calling. You. A. Kid," he said between trying to evade her repeated attempts at stabbing him. "I was talking about Kaien," finally catching hold of her wrist gently but firmly, he smiled as he snatched the knife from her and laid a tender hand on her belly. "Now… we've got to be careful with him, haven't we?"

"I'm always careful with him," she retorted incredulously. "Are you accusing me of being a reckless mother?"

"Of course not," he blinked, taking her face in his hands. "But if you're going to be walking around the house with a knife in your hand—"

"That was just for killing you," she deadpanned.

"… Oh," he nodded in understanding. It wasn't the first time she'd thrown a fit and gone on a rampage to kill her loving (in his opinion) husband. Because of… well, this or that reason.

"You…" she hiccupped, dissolving into an unexpected puddle of sobs and hicks. "I hate you, Ichigo—" sob "—you… you threw away the—" sob "—the chappy shirt I… I bought for you from the sale—" sob, sob…

"Rukia…" he moved closer to her, trying to reach his hand to her face which she promptly slapped away.

"You promised me, Ichigo," she sniffed. "You promised me you'll wear that shirt when we go to nii-sama's house next—" sniff "—but you threw it away—"

"Rukia, I swear I didn't throw away that shirt," he managed to pull her into his arms as she shook with the hiccups. "I just… I don't know I probably misplaced it somewhere… I'll go search for it."

"I looked all over for it," she shook her head. "Couldn't find it anywhere. You either threw it away or lost it."

"I'll go look around again. Tomorrow. I really have to rush for a meeting right now—"

"I HATE YOU, ICHIGO," she yelled, throwing the knife at him which barely missed by an inch. "How could you forget we had to go visit nii-sama today! I hate you. I'm going by myself… And I won't come back. I hate you."

"Ru—Rukia… " he tried to go after her as she slammed the door in his face. He sighed, shaking his head as he counted the number of her mood swings he'd had to tolerate in the month. Ten. They were growing more and more frequent as the days passed. Another sigh as he made his way to their room—all cupboards thrown open and clothes scattered all over the floor. The shirt in question obviously lay undisturbed under the fake bottom of a drawer, with a pair of chappy socks, chappy muffler, chappy bedsheet and… oh well!

"Kurosaki Ichigo," the cold voice greeted him with contempt in addition to a shower of dart arrows which he barely managed to duck.

"Byakuya…" the orange-haired man straightened up, scowling. "Are you trying to kill me, you…"

"You should be grateful those were mere prickly objects with little capability of hurting you," the gentleman replied coldly as he glared ice-daggers at him, leaving little doubt about his intention of murdering the insolent strawberry. "I had made it explicitly clear when I gave you Rukia's hand in marriage that I shall not hesitate to kill you in slow, painful torture if you were ever to make my sister unhappy."

Ichigo gulped, remembering the very, very clear threat he'd been delivered in front of Rukia the day he'd gathered up all his courage to ask Byakuya's permission to marry Rukia. After he'd cancelled his meeting, apologizing a hundred times, he'd decided to try and sneak into the Kuchiki manor and talk Rukia out of it but—ah, the fate!—he'd very conveniently gotten lost in the huge mansion, owing to his bad sense of direction and landed in the lion's den. He regretted not having asked for Yachiru's help as he wondered how the ice-queen gentleman had gotten wind of his arrival.

"I shall take your silence as an acknowledgment of your insolence," he continued in his threateningly impassive voice. "And unless you give me a good reason, I do not see why I should let you live."

"Are you crazy?" Ichigo shuddered at the thought. He could blame Rukia's mood swings on her hormonal upheaval but… well, what could you put the blame on in case of Kuchiki Byakuya? He couldn't be pregnant… or even if he could… well… Ichigo shook his head, trying to snap out of the horrible train of thought.

"I do not even remotely deem that as a reason," the noble said. "Let alone good enough to pardon your insolence."

"O—oi, hold on, Byakuya," he dived behind a couch as a dagger lodged into the soft cushion, no idea when and how it had been materially produced out of nowhere.

"Do you wish to say more, Kurosaki Ichigo?" another dagger whirring past the imbecile's ear. "I shall not, however, be granting your dying wish."

"Okay, listen," he huffed. "Let me just go talk to Rukia—"

"I do not intend to let you leave here alive."

"Just let me talk to her, teme," he yelled. "You don't want to have the blood of the father of an unborn child on your hands, do you?"

It couldn't have been the pitch as much as it were the words that stopped the ice-queen Byakuya mid-way of throwing another dagger at this imbecile of a brother-in-law.

"Alright," he said, straightening up, still glaring at him coldly. "I shall give you ten minutes. Do not be mistaken, Kurosaki Ichigo. I have not been convinced of your reason, but I shall let you go for the sake of my niece."

"It could be a boy, you know," said Ichigo, rolling his eyes at the almost imperceptible curve of his brother-in-law's lips.

He walked down the hall and finally found the room he'd been trying to get to so desperately.

"Ichigo…" the violet-eyed woman turned to look at her husband as the door opened up.

"Hey, Rukia," he said, scratching the back of his head as he walked to her awkwardly. "See, I found the shirt," he tugged at a corner of the chappy shirt he was wearing. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll never misplace it again. Ever."

"It's okay…" she smiled brightly, seeing her favorite shirt. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

"No, you didn't," he put his arms around her and lifted her up gently. "I'm sorry I'm an idiot."

"But you're my favorite idiot," she giggled as he kissed her tenderly, all the tension disappearing immediately with his touch. Her hand trailed under his shirt as the other one fiddled with the buttons.

"Alright," he grinned, taking off his pants in one kick as she threw the shirt down on the floor.

"Ichigooo," Rukia squealed as she took in the view—hundreds of chappies smiling at her from all over his boxers. "I looove youuu."

"I love you too, baka," he said, sighing on the inside. He had no idea what all he'd have to endure the chappies on for the next few months!

"I shall forgive you this last time, Kurosaki Ichigo," the noble said calmly when they finally went down to tell him they were going home. Together. "However, I hope to hear you are taking good care of my sister. Any such blunders in the future shall not be forgiven."

"Yeah, yeah," Ichigo nodded. "Don't worry, I'll take better care of her."

"Rukia," he turned to his sister, his frown disappearing at once. He lifted a box and shoved it in her husband's hand without any regard. "These are a few gifts for you. Take care of yourself."

"I will, nii-sama," she bowed slightly. "Thank you for your kindness."

As they drove away in the car, she excitedly pulled the box from the backseat to have a look at the contents. Ichigo smiled at her childish behavior before his eyes fell on the horrific contents.

Among other things, was a shirt with little wakame ambassadors printed all over it. He scowled as he realized this was going to be his wife's immediate favorite and he really had no idea where he could draw the lines at now.

Because he could blame Rukia's mood swings on her hormonal upheaval but… well, what could you put the blame on in case of Kuchiki Byakuya? He couldn't be pregnant… or even if he could… well…

A/N: So before anyone points out, let me just say, Rukia isn't OOC here, she's just hormonal and pregnant xD 'cause that was the prompt.

Okay, I'm posting it before Byakuya gets the joke on his hormones and comes down to kill me in slow, painful torture!

*door bursts open*

Chire, Senbonzakura

*yelps and starts running around*

Please leave a review! In case I survive, it'll make me really happy!