Hello, and welcome to Chapter 3! Thanks for the reviews, though very few, which I appreciate deeply. Please continue, folks…

Chapter 3

First Mission, Ladies

LAAT/i GUNSHIP, Kashyyyk Orbit

'Whoa, that's some shit going down there,' remarked Gavin, as he looked down on the planet of Kashyyyk through the secure viewing glass panel of the gunship.

'Forget down there, it'll be a miracle if we get through the shit up here,' scoffed Con, as the gunship swayed to avoid enemy fire.

'Don't worry,' assured Starr. 'That's just a stray shot. This path is being guarded by the 190th's fighters. Their ground troops may not be that good, but their pilots are the best. Next to us, of course.'

'Hmm…this doesn't look like Kashyyyk,' Betty said. 'I remembered on Kamino, when our training sergeants showed us a holographical image of Kashyyyk, it was all green. Not like this…all…'

'Scorched? Desolated?' Starr said, finishing Betty's sentence. 'You can thank the Separatists for that, Private F991.'

'Whatever,' said Laura. 'I just hope this Kashyyyk weather doesn't ruin my skin tone.'

Kay and Jep switched on the private link in their helmets and whispered to each other, 'Bitch.'

'You know that since I'm a part of the squad, I can hear things too even with the private link switched on?' said Laura.

'Once a bitch, always a bitch,' Jep said, not bothering to revert back to public link. 'That's what our training sergeant always said.'

'Well our training sergeant always said that men only liked women for what we have below our waist,' retorted Laura.

'You're wrong,' Jep said.

'Prove it, clone!'

'We men also like boobs,' Jep said, which resulted every male in the gunship to slap their heads. Even the side gunner accidentally shot down a Republic starfighter.

…………………………………………………………………………………………........

REPUBLIC COMMAND POST, Rock Beach, Kashyyyk

Two standard hours later…

The 190th Legion commander wasn't a Jedi, but a clone trooper. Well, clone commander to be precise. And he had a strange accent, which made the boys in the 501st think that Commander Dean 520 had his cloning vat spiked.

'Good-day, mates!' greeted the commander. 'I'm Commander Dean 520 and I'm in charge here.'

'And it seems you're not doing a very good job, Commander,' said Starr, looking out at the horizon of Rock Beach. 'I'm assuming immediate command of the 190th.'

'Sorry, sir,' said Dean, scratching his helmet, 'but I can't do that.'

'Do you know what is the consequence of disobeying a direct order, Commander?' asked Starr, glaring at the Aussie clone.

'Crikey, sir, of course I do,' acknowledged Dean, 'but if I give you command over the 190th, I'll be disobeying another direct order.'

'And whose order is that?'

'Why, General Yoda, sir!' Dean said, pointing his thumb behind him, where another LAAT/i gunship just landed. A short, green, long-eared alien accompanied by two clone troopers descended from the gunship.

'Master Yoda, this is…' Starr struggled to find the word that wouldn't insult the greatest Jedi in the galaxy, and also a word that might justify his feelings as well. '…unexpected.'

'Terrible the situation here is,' said the wise old Jedi, 'Step in I must.'

'But Master, I thought the campaign on Kashyyyk was the 501st Legion's own—'

'Yes, young Starr, but act under me the 501st will. As will you with no objections I hope.'

Berserk Squad saw Starr struggle to obey an order which made him let the chance of commanding two legions at once fly away with a couple of X-wing engine boosters. 'Very well, Master.'

While the rest of the 501st settled down to hear the combat briefing, Helga whispered to Con, 'Wow, is the Jedi always tense when talking to each other?'

'Heh, you haven't seen the Jedi fighting each other in Geonosis,' Con said. 'It was all, 'the Dark Side is the most powerful,' or 'good will always conquer over evil', that kind of shit.'

'All right, clones,' Commander Dean announced, 'this is the situation…'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

FIRST DEFENSE LINE, Rock Beach, Kashyyyk

Thirty minutes later…

It was all shit. The Republic can't lose. No way. If the Republic lose, the Seps will take over Rock Beach. And the oil refinery stationin it. If the Seps destroy the oil refinery, half the planet will blow up. And there goes the Wookie homeworld.

And to make shit more shittier, Berserk Squad was one of the squads that guarded the first defense line. 'Sarge, this is so fucked up!' Con wailed. 'The troops in the first defense line always die first! Why can't we be in the second defense line, where it's nice and safe in the sea walls?'

'Shut up, sissy,' snapped Laura, attaching a scope onto her DC-15. 'Hey, shithead,' she called to Jep.

'What, bitch?' Jep said.

'Let's have a dare, if you're man enough, let's see who can shoot 20 droids in three minutes,'

'You're on, bitch!'

'With a charge pistol.'

'What?' Shit. Jep knew well enough he had trouble with a charge pistol. Damn things were hard to shoot. You have time your shots right, or the pistol will overheat. Not like the regular DC-15, which you can shoot continuously with nothing to worry about except when it runs out of its 200 shots.

'What's the matter? Cocked out?' sneered Laura.

'Excuse me, I have a cock, do you? I'm in,' he said. 'And Laura, if you lose, you have to give me a blow job!'

'Blow job?' Laura said, puzzled. 'What's a blow job?'

'It means you have to suck my cock!'

Shock spread all over Laura's face. Jep knew it, even if the bitch had her helmet on.

'What's the matter, pussied out?'

She sounded very determined when she spoke. 'All right, but if I win…you have to kiss Kay! What say you?'

'Don't you drag me into this, Jep---'

Laura continued, 'And I mean, the furious, tongue-twisting kiss!'

'Jep—'

'It's a deal,' agreed Jep, shaking hands with Laura.

'Fuck you, Jep,' swore Kay, hitting Jep on the side of his helmet with his fist.

'Clones, incoming,' warned Gavin, retreating low behind the defense blockade, rifle in front of him. 'Wait for the Aussie clone's command to fire,' All of them moved into defensive positions.

'All right, mates!' yelled the clone commander. 'KILL THOSE FUCKING DROIDS! GOD SAVE THE QUEEN OF NABOO!'

'Must be a fan of Senator Amidala,' Kay commented. The droids came into view, marching in the water. They began firing as Dean roared, 'Remember, mates, we have to hold the beach position, or we all go to hell when the refinery explodes!'

'Jep, one o'clock!' Kay said, busy taking down a droid destroyer. Jep threw a thermal detonator at his one o'clock. Six droids blew up in the explosion. 'That's already eleven for me, bitch!' Jep shouted, counting in the droids he shot before.

'That doesn't count!' Laura retorted, 'You used a detonator!'

To which Jep replied, 'FUCK!'

Hordes of droids, especially the droid destroyers, began nearing their defense line, despite the heavy shooting. Clone troopers got killed more often than droids got destroyed. It looked as though they already lost before they even began.

'It's those droidekas' shield,' said Con, taking down his seventh shot. 'They're creating a rank to block the infantry!'

Somewhere behind the destroyers' rank, a missile fired and landed on a squad position next to Berserk Squad's. The squad members were thrown off their feet. Well, one of the guys didn't have it too good as the explosion tore his legs apart.

Dean approached Berserk Squad, avoiding fire. 'We can't go on like this, chaps. We need something to destroy those shields. And we can't do it the old fashion way, shooting it down. It'll take time with the number of shields out there. What we need is only one shot, that will wipe out the entire destroyer rank. What we need is—'

'—an electromagnetic pulse!' Gavin exclaimed. 'But I don't have an EMP launcher. Only Jet Troopers are assigned with that gear! Aren't there any squads with Jet Troopers here?'

'Sorry to disappoint you, Gavin ol' chap, but the beach defense line is down to three, including your squad.' Dean told him. Another explosion rocked them from behind. 'There goes Specter Squad. Now we're down to Berserk Squad, and Blaze Squad, my own.'

'Fuck,' Kay swore under his breath. He wasn't ready to die. No sir, he wanted to live, long enough to see the war end. The war wasn't even close to the end and the possibility of him being gunned down seemed very possible. Well, at least there were two various ways to die. One, get killed by the Seps, or Two, die in the refinery explosion. Shit, where were the Jet Troopers when you need them?

Then he saw it---an EMP launcher. Just a few feet in front of him, beyond the squad's blockade. He looked at his squad. He knew they weren't going to agree with him. Like, it was suicide to jump over the blockade and pick up the launcher. Anyway the launcher was way too close to the destroyer rank. Covering him would be impossible. Somewhere in front of him, he heard a droid sing, 'Fifty-four clones todayyyyyy, fifty-four clones todayyyyyyyy,'

He might just end up being number fifty-five. He jumped over the blockade.

'KAY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING—' Gavin screamed.

'Saving our cloned skins!' he ducked, fired, ducked again, sprinted when a bolt missed his head by several inches. Amidst the running, and the dodging, he heard Gavin give the squad orders to cover him. Just a few more feet---'That clone is going to be Number Fifty-five!'---jumped and rolled; he grabbed the launcher. He pressed his back against a weak blockade. Kay could here the thunderous laser bolts tearing the blockade apart slowly. He checked the launcher—five shots left. He could've cried there, even kissed Jep if the fucker was there. He stood up, aimed and pulled the trigger.

'Fifty-five isn't your lucky number,'

The moment the electromagnetic pulse hit the droids, the shields faltered, rendering them open to fire. Five shots weren't much, but to the two surviving squads, it was like a lifetime supply of Republic credits in their none-existing allowance pockets. The clones cheered, as the droids exploded, rank by rank, aided by a storm of DC-15 shots. The droids began to fall back. 'Fuck it! Told you we should have taken the shotgun!' a retreating droid said to his comrade.

Looks like Kay saved the day. Come back next time for Chapter 4: Of Jet Troopers and Spider Walkers