They broke the news over dinner a couple nights later after confirmation from Sadie. Schmidt knew, but was blubbering anyway. Cece wrapped Jess in a hug and jumped up and down with her, "You're going to have a baby!" Winston was over the moon, but requested that he tell Ferguson the news in private. The next month proved to be a little challenging. Jess was fighting exhaustion and raging hormones. Nick was constantly conflicted between elation and terror. And then there was Winston.
Winston had been having a sympathy pregnancy. He gained weight (which they all knew not to mention), claimed his feet were swollen and that he had become extra "in tune" with his body. Nick and Jess fought the idea at first. "Winston this is just like the time you thought you were on your period! You can't have my pregnancy Winston! It's my thing!" Jess would yell, but eventually it became the norm. Winston and Jess would watch movies together, get pedicures, and read about lactating. Nick would reluctantly bring both of them herbal tea and soda crackers.
Overall, they were happy. Nick and Jess got to a place of silent understanding. They never talked about how they both knew Nick was feeling. Underneath his unconditional support of Jess and happiness to he a father, he was truly terrified. But he liked kids, it wasn't the prospect of late nights or dirty diapers that scared him exactly, over thinking just came too naturally for him. Whenever he questioned his capability to handle it all, there was Jess, to reassure him he could. However, panic moon-walking out of Sadie's office had turned into a regular occurrence. And it all came to a head one afternoon after a routine checkup.
Nick was waiting in his car at the curb for Jess. His hands gripped the steering wheel while a thunderstorm of worries and thoughts brewed in his head. Jess eased her way into her seat and placed her hand on his.
"You're going to be a great dad," she tried to comfort him.
"Jess, what if I'm not the kind of father you want me to be?" his voice was shaky.
"The most important thing right now is that we have a happy, healthy baby. It's so easy to get wrapped up in planning the future..." she smirked trying to make light of their past conflict. "Now that we're in the thick of it, it almost seems easier. We have no other choice but to figure it out, the hypothetical is out the window. We can do it together, not my plan vs. yours, as a team."
"Sometimes, I don't think I'llever be good enough for you. You'll always want me to be better, smarter, have more initiative...What if you wake up one day and realize you want more," he sighed.
"Nick! Cut the self-deprecation. Listen to me Miller; we're not even halfway through this pregnancy, not to mention a lifetime ahead of us. If you can't accept that you're the man I want we're going to have a rocky road ahead of us. When are you going to realize that?"
"You're right, Jess. I know you love me, I know. And love you too. I'm over thinking everything."
She leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder and they drove away.
Nick dropped Jess off for a quiet lunch at Cece's new house.
"Cece has everyone gone crazy or is it just me?" she asked, sipping a cup of tea.
"Takes a village, Jess. These guys are NOT handling your pregnancy as well as you are. I mean, Winston probably knows more about afterbirth than you. And look around; Schmidt has put so much padding around the house, and the loft, that I feel like I live in a bubble. I dare you to spot a hard angle around here anywhere."
They laughed. "How are you feeling though, babe?" Cece asked.
"Honestly, good, aside from my rapidly changing body. I'm excited."
"And Nick?" she urged.
"Nick is…being Nick, but he's going to have to let me in eventually."
Nick and Jess found themselves at the mall the next day. Jess needed some new tops and Nick couldn't say no to those big soft pretzels. They came across a photo booth.
"Nick, please! I will be too big in a couple weeks for us to fit in there together! Please!?"
"Alright Jess, come on."
"Hey, remember that first time we were in one of these together?" she asked, looking at him and batting her big blue eyes.
He stared back, "Will you marry me?"
"What?! Yes! Absolutely! Are you kidding me? Nick!"
"So, I don't have a ring right now, Well, I do…it's at home. And I was planning this whole thing, but after our conversation yesterday, and now remembering how even when we first met, I loved you, and sweet and kind and annoying you were. I want to be able to call you my wife."