Author's Rant: Here's chapter 3. Thanks so much for the awesome reviews. Didn't have a chance to read over so please excuse grammer mistakes until I get the chance to proofread it ^_^. Enjoy.

Collision

Advil.

Aspirin.

A tranquilizer.

He needed drugs. Strong drugs—no, not just any painkiller. No he needed something Schedule ll strength and above to deal with this headache birthing a throb the size of a baseball. Sasuke massaged the pulsing knot against his temple, resisting the urge to openly squeeze the swelling pressure between his eyes. This was proving to be more of an issue than he'd bargained for.

A sledge hammer. Hell yes that'll do some massive damage.

Something. Just anything to shut this damn fool up—three thirty couldn't get here fast enough. In the deepest parts of his soul, he knew the truth was written in stone and dare he ever admit this to anyone but the blessed one above, Neji had been right. What type of person arranged for an interview on a Saturday—especially securing a required time limit of thirty full minutes— to find a personal aid that damn badly? And it helped Sasuke little to none that the obvious fact was bringing amusement to his partner, whom was witnessing this earsplitting display near the far wall, sipping a glass of wine.

This was pathetic. Whether that referred to the creature talking a mile a minute or the fact he was sitting here listening, who knew? But there was a question that needed an answer. Was Sasuke truly that hyped up for a helper that he'd force himself to suffer through countless disqualifying applicants? All of the vital requirements were met just as he'd asked. . . all except for two and boom look what it gets him. . .

"...I've worked with the most fabulous employers who've done some excellent work with computer graphics and intelligence. That's I've learned about in school when I graduated late month. You should've seen my gown. I looked like a princess ready to be swept away by her prince..."

. . . A loud mouth talking shrew that, unfortunately, didn't bring along the instruction manual that explained the location of her off switch. Damnable extra rib being forced out of a man's bosom to bestow what was definitely an unnecessary sex. Sasuke learned everything from her favorite color to the size of her shoes in a matter of five minutes. God knows she can talk an ear off.

"So yea she told me yesterday I needed the yellow makeup to impress the employer here and I said no way he'll probably like pink rouge instead of gold. So I picked the pink because it was what my last boss liked..."

Is it truly possible to talk for long periods of time without taking a pause? Surely she needed to breathe by now? Outside. Away. Preferably inside a soundless steel clad room depraving all species of human from having listen to this horrid sound of misery escaping this thing's lips.

"I've always known I was destined for great things. My mother always said that if I grit my teeth and buckle down and shut my mouth, I'll be able to handle anything. Do you think I talk too much? I don't think so. My sister says I should always speak my mind because people like to hear what I have to day..."

Now that's a damn lie. Sasuke shifted from one armrest to the next cursing the school system. This was why you don't teach children the morals of asking questions. They never know when to shut up. The concept of 'be seen not heard' was apparently amiss by this young woman's dejected sense of poor mannerisms. Sasuke's index finger discreetly slid over to the intercom button, "Ino." His left eye twitched at the deep chuckled across his office. Apparentally someone was enjoying his headache.

"Yes sir?" Came the sweet tone voice of permanent bliss.

A hard frown marred over the CEO's smooth face directed to the still babbling nitwit, "Water and three aspirin."

"Yes sir. Give me one minute."

Sasuke sat back in his chair and finally the need for pressure release between his eyes gave way as well as the agitated sigh cloaking his throat, "As much as I'm livid about learning of your bathing suit collection, I'm a very busy man," he begin calmly settling a onyx glare on the girl, "if there's nothing more. You're free to go. Your file," He held up the pink and green portfolio decorated with crisscross butterflies and bones, "Will be evaluated for possible consideration." Emphasis on possible.

"Oh thank you so much Mr. Uchiha. I promise to be a super hard worker. Just make sure to text me my reply or leave a voicemail because I hardly answer my cell anymore. Well unless you're calling my pink cell but if you call my black one you have to make sure to check me between twelve and one clock because I'll probably just be making it in from home and—"

"Get out."

And that's what the talkative young girl did after seeing those dark eyes somehow gain a deadly shine of cruelty. She grabbed her highlight blonde bunny purse, stuffed her keys in the back of her leather pink pants, straightened out her pink tune top and turned tail out of there.

Arched brown eyebrows lifted at the loose flowing electric blue hair and boldly displayed black laced thongs hugging around narrowed hips and the laughable attempt of her sashaying figure for some sexual attraction. It took every refined bone in Neji's sophisticated body, not to chuckle at the modern day style cat walking. He sipped his wine, eyeing her flimsy shape until she left. Both his eyebrows met in the center, 'If this girl twisted any harder, she'll land herself in the closest ER.'

Then a more poised young lady entered her employer's office, dressed in a wine colored turtle neck cashmere dress, hugging her delicate figure. Her long champagne blonde hair stood tall above her head in a thick ponytail, with a limp portion hovering over two twinkling blue eyes, failing miserably to conceal the bubbly amusement.

Ino Yamanaka nodded to Neji before walking across the large office to give Mr. Uchiha his desired cup of water and medication, all the while trying to hold in the chest hard giggles.

After taking the needed stress relievers, Sasuke shook his head slightly, his eyes speculative on the two oddly silent occupants in his office. One, whose eyes were suspiciously averted to the scenery outside the window and the other with her hands clamped before her, head bowed, shoulders visibly quivering. Ino was probably the worst off. Sasuke could hear her ribs creaking for release.

A bored expression appeared on his face as Sasuke sat back in his chair and lowered his cheek against the back of his knuckles, "Go ahead. Laugh." he finally said, rolling his eyes and pointedly ignoring the soft cough of disguised chuckles from the other side, namely Neji. Ino on the other hand needed more reassurance before she embarrassed herself. Sasuke lifted a dark brow and sighed, "Let it go before you pass out," Noting the building blush running across her face.

And that's what she did. Ino gripped her sides, and burst into a fit of stomach aching laughter. "Oh my god!" She choked, cracking up and even snorting a couple of times. "D-did she just come in here wearing—her hair's blue, was that a thong?" She had to grip the side of the desk, knees buckling under the amusing pressure loosening her cringing muscles. She was in so much pain but it felt wonderful and she absentmindedly hoped she didn't piss her dress. But gosh every time she thought she was able to control her giggles, she'd accidentally see Sasuke's stern, cold face and see the mental image of his eye twitching at the sight of a visible thong strap, and start all over.

Having heard quite enough, Sasuke leveled a chilled glint and spoke calmly, "Ino unless you're seeking other means of employment, I think you've had your fun."

"Ok, ok, I-I'm trying sir." Again she found a comfortable place on the floor, slapping a hand over her mouth and holding the shaking craziness of her shoulders. "Ok, Ok…I'm done," she giggled, pulling herself off the floor, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I'm done, I'm done." Ino took a very deep breathe and released in a more collected wind, but the smile still remained. "Is there...t-there anything else I can get you?"

"That'll be all, Ino. I'll call if there's anything more," He dismissed.

"Yes sir," She bowed to Neji and returned to her desk, a slight jerk her step.

After the door closed a soft click giving the two some privacy, Neji pushed off the wall, staring at the chair that once supported the grim humanoid of many colors and decided against taking a seat. "Interesting potential she has. One would say that...," how could he put it? "...she'd liven up your dull disposition."

"I don't need livened up." Sasuke stressed, cupping his hands over his eyes. That girl was enough to make him rethink proceeding with the rest of the interviews. "I need a quiet, hard worker, without all the hassle of causing me to lose my insanity."

"Why not allow me to assist you?" Neji sipped his wine, a confident smile increasing his handsomeness. "I'm sure I could find you a qualified candidate for your services." He held up his hand to cut off the surefire hell list Sasuke was about to spout, "Minus all of the dreamed up wishes of your lordship, I think I can find you someone worthy of at least three of your requirements."

"I don't need your help. I'm more than capable of finding my own employees."

Neji frowned, "She was the fourth one this week to give you a headache. Unless you're a masochistic fiend whom enjoys this type of torture, I must insist on offering my services."

Sasuke dragged his hands down his nose as his eyes blinked over to the hard glinted pearl studying him. "Why are you so hell bent on trying to help?"

"Because, if you should hire anything like that," That defining the rainbow beast with the despicable G-string. "I won't be held responsible for the disappearance of your bloody carcass."

Duly noted. "As if I'd hire something resembling a clown," Sasuke wasn't up for arguing after dealing with a swirly, so he sat up in his chair and moved the mouse to turn on computer screen from rest mode. "Do what you want. I'll keep going with the interviews in case someone qualified does come around."

"Fine. Expect your new assistant by Monday morning ten o clock sharp for an interview."

"You already have a person in mind?"

"No, but I won't have as much difficulty figuring out something. Until then," the empty wine glass landed softly on the corner of Sasuke's desk, "I have my own work to do. I'll see you Monday."

Sasuke half acknowledged the departing Hyuuga, his mind already set into the daily grind, but in the back of his mentality a part of him couldn't ewaiat being a bit intrigued on what Neji was up too. The coco haired fiend was a devilish character when challenged but his mischievous ways especially came out when he wanted to lend his assistance. But there wasn't much to worry over. Neji's always been a man of his word and never lied.

Still why did Sasuke get the feeling that some type of dramatic calamity was over the horizon? Especially when dealing with Neji's twisted ways.

By the time Neji made it across the sigh filled cubicles, his mind was already forging a concocted ideal search for what his friend needed. It wasn't that he didn't trust his partner's choice in picking his own employees, it's just he needed a bit of change from all the stuff shirt procreating on Sasuke's already tedious personality. Of course Neji himself wasn't exactly the brightest ray of sunshine either. Neither of them were what most would call 'people' persons.

Mildly lost in thought, his double bunned brunette secretary nodded her employer's arrival. "Welcome back sir. I have the CDs and spreadsheets you requested from the sixth and eighth floor. And," she paused. "You've received a call from Ms. Kokota. She says she can't make it to her appointment Monday morning."

Damn…That wasn't as he'd planned. "TenTen, reschedule my appointments with Mr. Takao and the CEO of Kanami Enterprises for Tuesday at eight and," Neji slightly tensed, having to dread finishing off his last order. "Move the Sukikyo account to three o'clock tomorrow."

"Yes Mr. Hyuuga. I'll get on it right away."

Neji went into his office, a stone set glare scaring his pale features. Terrific, he'd set up that client in hopes of using her as Sasuke's method for final relaxation to a better work life. She was perfectly qualified to the very last detail. Most of her characteristics matched precisely with the necessities Uchiha wanted.

"Damn." Curing was beneath him but despite that, he was upset. Nowhere had he planned to actually go out and actually find someone. Mishaps in his organized schemes were unacceptable and he nearly gave into his subtle urge to growl.

This could take a while... "TenTen."

"Yes sir?"

"Cancel whatever arrangements I have for today. . . I'm going out."

Today's workload wasn't as horrible as foreseen but still productive nonetheless. The rush was a steady stream of off duty workers and a few summer vacation teenagers wanting an easy going brunch. Nothing to overwhelming. Naruto had a balanced pace of serving a dozen tables at a time whilst keeping a sharp eye on the sectioned off booth near the back corner. Every time he checked back for the familiar bushels of fluffy red and blonde hair barely peeking over the seat cushions, he'd relax enough to continue on with his missions.

A couple of occasions Kiba circled around the café asking the twins if they needed anything besides a reloaded plate of fries or a cup of juice, which Sakura kept refilled, but neither child wanted anything else besides a certain color crayon to use. The animal books kept them preoccupied, since Naruto hardly got the chance to go and see them for himself, but after Kiba'd assure him they were fine he'd focus back on his duties.

...Only for several minutes before his eyes returned back over to the isolated booth. Soon the need for self-examination gave in and he couldn't resist seeing the little guys for himself, "Hey Kiba could 'cha grab table six's order real quick? I'ma check on 'da twins."

"Uh sure," Kiba shrugged it off and went to fill out the favor.

Naruto maneuvered his way around the customer and waiter clusters, keeping his focus on the heads of colorful hair until he came around to see the table covered with scribbles of outlined animals and adorably drawn attempts of something or another. "Hey guys, everything alright?"

"Hu huh. Nawo, lookie what me make?" Minato held up his rainbow picture of all seven crayons spiraling in a figure eight and spiked curls. "Me make 'nana."

Naruto grabbed the picture, eyes wide with glee. "Aww look at that? That's an awesome banana Mina. Yum looks good enough 'ta eat." Naruto plastered the whole drawing on his face, faking munchy crunch noises behind the fluttering sheet.

Minato clapped his hands satisfied with the positive response and went to work snatching a green crayon, making what appeared to be a set of circles or egg shaped fish. Probably some Gama style tadpoles.

Naruto folded the pretty picture, slid it in his pocket and peeked over Kyuubi's shoulder to see what he was up too. "What are you making 'Uubi?"

Kyuubi squeaked stuffing his picture under his arm, puffing out his plump cheeks, "No, Bwo Bwo no see. No pwetty yet!"

Naruto chuckled, ruffling the splash of red hair, "Alright little man, I'll check when it's time to jet."

"Otay."

Getting back into the nick of ramen flow, Naruto scurried off to make up for lost time, putting in extra effort to make the waiting clients smile with a humorous joke or silly compliment on his skills. Even those who'd waited the longest for their meals were more than forgiving after listening to the natural hilarity of his stories and charming personality. Fifteen minutes later, he'd caught up to his usual speed, literally skating from one table to the next—Oops damn he'd almost forgot. Gotta check in with the boss man about a favor.

Without any expectant customers needing service, Naruto shot a quick spy at the twins and dashed back to the noodle scented kitchen, sucking in the invisible ribbons of floating broth fumes. God he'll never get over how the smell of shimmering bubbly—noodles of course—seemed to tease his sensitive nostrils. "Hey Ayame where's the old man?"

Said ginger haired young lady, stirred her boiling pot and pointed to the corner office, silently keeping full concentration on the blended goods.

"Thanks."

"Hey old man Teuchi!" Naruto pranced into the office with enough energy to spark a city block.

Mr. Teuchi sat in his wooden chair, filling the product wages paperwork and signing off checks, typing in a few numbers on his mini laptop. The minute he took a breather, he turned his wrinkled gaze over to his favorite employee. "Ah Naruto, what brings you in here?"

Deciding to cut to the centerfold of the matter, Naruto simply blurted out, "I need tomorrow off to handle a couple of things."

There was this sense of awe struck pause for the longest where Naruto though he'd have to repeat his request—elementarily slow— for the head cook, until Mr. Teuchi finally said, "Of course. I don't see why not. You rarely ask for off days unless it concerns the twins. You can take two if you want."

"Cool 'ppreciate it sir."

"Actually Naruto..."

Damn he thought he had it in there, "Yea?"

Mr. Teuchi quirked an eyebrow as if pondering something else to say and waved it off, "You know what? Just go on home. You've done enough for today."

Whew God loves me..."Hell yea, Thanks old man."

"So then the little bunny told Mr. Frog, no asshole I ain't taking shit from nobody cause you need to pay your bill and..." Kiba's voice died off from the R rated joke he was detailing to two pairs of premature ears, when he say Naruto bouncing from the back room carrying his back pack. "The hell you goin'?"

Naruto furrowed his brow, "Watch your damn mouth around the kids, dumbass." Practically breaking his own rule. "The old man cut me off early to handle some business." Explaining while ushering the kids out of the booth set. "I'll check you later."

"Damn that sucks. You always get special treatment."

"Yea well," Naruto shrugged, mentally sniffing his own ass. "Can't deny the smile. When you grow up, I'll teach cha how to work the charm."

"Take the flat side of my shoe and chew it dipshit."

"And you can kiss the fattest part of my ass."

"Hey twiddle dumb and twiddle fool; we have customers in the house!" Kiba and Naruto surprisedly looked around for wherever Sakura's voice ranged but found no sign of that illegal head of neon pink.

Kiba gave up looking for those bubble gum locks after the first sweep of the café, "I'll catch you guys later. Whose turn is it to cook t'night?"

Naruto half opened the door, making a thinking sound with his tongue, "You made tacos last time right? Uhh," he suddenly grinned and motioned down at the twins, "what do you guys think we should eat?"

Kyuubi bit his bottom lip and scratched his messy ponytail, "Me want 'agetti with lots of cheese."

"Alright spagetti it is, "Then Naruto switched to the youngest Uzumaki. "What about you?"

Minato got excited at having a free choice night, and whispered something to his Gamabunta frog, waiting for a imaginative response before nodding up to his brother "Me and Gama want hammy and fwies wit lots and lots of red stuff." Hammy being his interpretation for hamburgers.

"Cool it's a done deal. Alright Kiba looks like we're having a freestyle dinner. What are you having?"

Kiba cordially smiled, placing his hand on a jutted hip, "Well if you're offerin', hell I'll take a burger too."

"Done. We'll see ya later tonight then." Smiled the blistering glow of sunshine.

"Byeeee K'ba!" Sung the little tykes, swinging a long arm each.

"See ya guys."

This was ridiculous. Beyond stupendously ridiculous. Here he was dressed in a rather expensive Dulce & Gabbana suite mind you, looking around for a typical man or woman whom appeared outwardly capable of dealing with his partner's workload. A simple task for any commoner who was use to conveying with the locals, but Neji Hyuuga wasn't one of those able-to-speak-to-basically-anyone type of people because hardly anyone was deserving of his conversation.

When, where and how did it ever seem like a logical idea to come out here in this blistering heat, feeling forbidden sweat cling to his long sleeved button down? He'd be the first to admit he was a first class fool for being out in here in the first place, refusing to make eye contact with the hundreds of eyes he was positive were staring his erotic features. He could deal with the heavy sighs and disembodied grunts of lust from his office because the confines of those four walls held those souls under his control.

Out here, he was a tasty gazelle ready to be pounced by a money grubbing lion.

And this was all because he was standing outside his building surveying all who happened to walk down the sidewalk. That's right he was barely ten feet from the twenty story fortress, studying all shapes and sizes of the secret public. But after an hour of scouring the wakes of endless faces—not so much as asking whether they were looking for employment—Neji went against his better judgment and decided to take a short stroll around the block in hopes of his prayers coming true.

All he needed was a one measly person to show Sasuke. Nothing to special but the person had to appear at least somewhat dignified. Humble, noticeable, hardworking, dedicated—something that'll scream out differently unique to catch Sasuke Uchiha's eye.

The more he centralized all of his thoughts into his scheme for winning yet another declaration, the less he paid attention to blur of scarlet red run past or where he was walking. So the concept of a full bodied mass of muscle slamming directly in his path was hardly registering until a monotone apology bristled deep in his ears.

"Sorry about that man. Didn't see ya there."

TBC: *bobs head listening to Judas by Lady Gaga* Oh you're done? Yah thank you for reading. Again the children's dialect is purposely done that way. Stay tuned for the next chapter ^_^