A/N: Yay! I updated! And people really do read my stories! Yay! Well…this story isn't all that funny, but plz don't kill me! Some of it is (I guess) funny…but most of it is stupid or weird crap. Yeah.And I deleted that Author's Note from before. BTW:
I do not own Warriors. Or anything really. Except the idea for the "I like to eat my own poop" thing. HAHA. I dared my friend to say that in front of her crush. HAHA. Anyway, since this (my author's note) is getting stupid, I hope you enjoy the chappie!
"Ugh!" screeched Bluestar. "Sorry," said Oakheart, with a smug smile plastered on his face. "You have to give a Spottedleaf all of your monkey plushies!"
"But why?" sobbed Bluestar. "Well, because I beat you at GOLDFISH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled Spottedleaf.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Oakheart rolled his eyes and asked, "Who is giving ThunderClan a few clues about the prophecy? That RawrRawrFace was NO help at all!"
"Clues?!" cried Spottedleaf. "I wanna do it! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Buh-Bye now!"
"Oh no…poor Leafpaw," muttered Oakheart.
Leafpaw yawned and made herself comfortable in her den. 'Hmm…I wonder what the prophecy means…I hope it wasn't a joke…I wonder if rabbits will rule the world…'she thought. She counted sheep, even thought she barely knew what they were, and fell asleep.
A huge figure loomed in front of Leafpaw. "Don't kill me!" she whimpered. She looked up to see that it was… a cow. A giant pink and purple polka-dotted cow! It stomped around, squishing a few trees, and gobbled the awkwardly excited kitty.
"Wheeeeeeeeee!" screamed Leafpaw as she slid down the cow's esophagus. As she landed in the stomach, she saw another figure. "Hi Leafpaw!" said the figure. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Scary stalkery person! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Tee hee…"said Spottedleaf. "I know where you live… and where you sleep…"
That sent Leafpaw screaming and banging on the walls of the stomach.
After a few minutes of ear-splitting screaming, Spottedleaf finally told Leafpaw that she WASN'T a stalker and that she was supposed to give her clues about the prophecy. "Me Spottedleaf. Me give vision. Vision say prophecy. You yay!" she had said. "Huh?" said Leafpaw. "Oh, YOULL SEE!" Spottedleaf said impatiently. With that, she grabbed a hold of Leafpaw's scruff and dragged her out of the cow to a sparkling pool. They gazed into it and images flashed.
o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0
Apprentices with bags on their backs chatted and strolled over to a figure. On it was a bunch of symbols that seemed to have no meaning, including a lightning bolt. The figure, all in all, looked like a hotdog convertible. They climbed in and the hot dog flew up into the sky. Another vision glimmered in the pool. There were walls that could open. But they weren't doors. They were locked and the apprentices that were assigned to them twirled the lock with their paws, and they opened. Leafpaw gasped. There was never such a thing! Then another image gleamed in the pool. "I'm BORED now!" said Leafpaw. "It's okay, Leafpaw. This is the last one!" The last image was the apprentices sitting in desks (which Leafpaw only knew because she was dared to go into the TwoLeg dictionary and read the first thing she saw, which was 'desk'). Anyway, the apprentices sat and scribbled with writing sticks while Lionheart of StarClan stood at the front and meowed. "Is that ALL?" moaned Leafpaw. "Oh stop whining and complaining!" snapped Spottedleaf. "Didn't you see? I wasn't whining and complaining! I was moaning!" Spottedleaf rolled her eyes and said, "Oh! I gotta go now! Time to give Oakheart his daily bri—I mean gift. Now go back into the pink and purple polka-dotted cow so you can go back home." With that, Leafpaw leaped into the cow and immediately woke up from her cow-filled dream. Meanwhile, as Leafpaw was waking up, Spottedleaf returned to StarClan. "OAKHEART!" she screeched. "TIME FOR YOUR DAILIES!" Oakheart raced over to her. "What'd you get me this time?" he asked. "A FLUFFY MOUSY TOY WITH THE FLUFFY MOUSY FISHY FOODY!" she replied, quite excited.
"Uh…Spottedleaf?"
"WHAT?"
"I think it's time for your medication."
"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I REFUSE!"
"Well you need it! And I'm taking the toys and food!"
"Stop! Or I'll upload the picture of you at that Christmas party!"
Oakheart's face reddened deeply, to the shade of roses. "NO! Not that picture!" Spottedleaf grinned. "Aww yeah!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Hey did you hear that?" said Leafpaw. "You mean that sound from the sky that seemed to say 'No!'" replied Squirrelpaw.
"Yup. Anyway, I had a dream."
"Wow. I did too."
"No, I mean I had a dream from StarClan."
"Yeah, sure whatever."
"Well THAT was rude! Now you're a RUDEY PATOOTIE!"
"Uh…no. I was just trying to end the conversation so I could go hunting."
"OH…I knew that."
Squirrelpaw rolled her eyes and went over to Dustpelt. Leafpaw decided to tell Cinderpelt about her dream. "OH CIIIIIIIINDERPEEEEEEEEELT!" she screeched.
"What?!" snapped Cinderpelt, who was, unfortunately right next to Leafpaw.
"I…had…a…dream…from…StarClan," she declared, pronouncing all her dots (You know: I, dot dot dot, had, dot dot dot, etc.) She then described with great detail to Cinderpelt about the cow, how she thought Spottedleaf was a stalker, the insides of the cow, and the visions from the pool.
"Well? Did you like the descriptions?"
"Um…yes?"
"Yay! When should we tell Firestar?"
"I…do not know. I'm too lazy and busy for now so let's write it down and tell him right before the Gathering three weeks from now!"
"Well… why?"
"I do not know. Now feed me corn syrup!"
"What?"
"I do not know."
"No one does," said Leafpaw. She strolled over to where Bramblepaw and Squirrelpaw were arguing and poked them both in the head. "Everyone knows that YOU TWO can't get along! You'll never be friends!" screamed Leafpaw. She was tired of them fighting every single day, noon, afternoon, and night. All of the Clans nodded. Suddenly Leafpaw screamed, "LIKES, OMSC! OMSC! OMSC! I…LIKE, TOTALLY LIKE TO, LIKE, EAT MY OWN POOP!"
"HUH?!"
Meanwhile in StarClan…
"SPOTTEDLEAF! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"Do what?" purred Spottedleaf innocently.
"Make Leafpaw say that she liked to eat her own poop!"
"She does?"
"D'oh!"
A/N:
Sorry I kinda ended weird. But I need you to review! Or the pink and purple polka-dotted cow will come and at you!!!