AN: . I don't speak Japanese, yet I've done my best to research the words I've used, and to use them properly, or as they are used in the anime-manga. If I've used anything incorrectly please let me know. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think of this story. Feedback always makes me write faster. (Also, I apologize for those of you who know this story, this part may be sort-of boring to you, but I didn't just want to skip over it in case there are people who never saw the movie.)
This fic is rated M for mature themes, and will probably end up with some lemon stuff. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters.
Chapter 3: Omoide (Recollection)
Kaoru opened her eyes and gave Kenshin a small smile, letting the dagger in her hand fall to the grass beside her.
"I would be honored to hear your story." She said quietly.
Kenshin let out a small sigh of relief as she set the dagger down, and he kept his hand loosely on hers, sliding it under her hand so that she now gripped his hand rather than the dagger. He shifted until he sat next to her, directing his eyes down into the creek, where she still looked.
"Years ago," He smiled ruefully, "About the time you were first blessing this world with your presence in it, there was a young boy named Shinta. He was a slave. Both of his parents were dead, but several of the slave girls were kind and looked out for him. This group of slaves and slave-traders were traveling to market one night when they were attacked by some evil men. These men killed both the slaves and the slave-traders without regard. Three of the young women tried to shield this boy, tried to protect him. They died one by one. He tried to raise a katana he found on the ground, he tried to protect them, but they pulled him away and begged the evil men not to kill him. Yet they died. And as the last one fell, she looked right at him and said something he would never forget."
"You are just a child. You have not chosen your life, as we have been able to do. You cannot die now. You must live. Life a full life for the sake of those who died here tonight. Shinta, please live. Live for me."
"She died, and the boy knew himself to be doomed. And then out of the mists walked a samurai, and the evil men began to die. Shinta watched in awe; the sword of the samurai sometimes moving too quickly for him to even see. And when all the men were dead, the samurai left, telling him that the way to honor his slain family was to live for them."
"The samurai returned the next morning, thinking to bury the dead, and found that the boy had stayed up all night doing so. When he asked Shinta why he had done that, the boy told him that although none of them were his family, once they died, they were not bandits, or slave-traders, or slaves; they were just dead bodies. And the samurai poured out sake in honor of them, and said his name was Seijuro Hiko. He told the boy that he had been entrusted with the women's lives, but that his hands had been too small to protect them, and that he would carry the weight of their lives on his heart forever. He then said that he could teach the boy the strength and skill to protect others, could teach him the Hiten Mitsurugi style of swordsmanship. And he gave the boy a new name. A name that meant sword-heart."
"Ken-shin." Kaoru whispered, unable to stop herself from interrupting. "Sword-heart. I never realized your name was a combination of two words, I just thought it was an unusual name."
"It is unusual, yet fitting." Kenshin smiled his sad smile, and softly continued. "I don't need to tell you the other name Shinta became known by, because you hear it all the time. Battousai. You don't need a story about him either, because everyone knows what he did. But there is one thing that few know." He unconsciously ran his fingers over the cross-shaped scar on his cheek. "Everyone knows Battousai carries this mark. I want to tell you how he got it."
A single tear slid down his cheek as he composed his thoughts, and Kaoru reached out to wipe it away with one hand, keeping her other firmly in his grasp. "Thank you for this honor." She whispered.
"None of you have ever asked, for which I am grateful. It is not a tale easily told, or easy to hear. I never wanted you to know it. But we care for each other…" He trailed off, unable to believe he'd said that, and then continued slowly, "It is unfair of me to have not told you this story."
"Battousai was out on an assignment one night, an assignment like any other – to kill a man. This man had a group of bodyguards, and one of them had an exceptionally strong will to live. He managed to cut the Battousai across the cheek before he was killed. And for some reason, the wound did not heal, but continued to bleed for weeks. These weeks went by, and he continued with his duties as if the wound did not bother him, although others said that its continued bleeding meant that it was a stain upon his heart as well as his body. And one night, when he was doing his job, he chanced upon a woman. She saw him kill his marks, and commented on how he made it rain blood. He considered killing her, for an assassin who has been seen is useless; yet he could not kill her, as he had been taught that he fought to protect the weak. She began working at a tea house he frequented, and slowly the two grew to care for each other. Then something went wrong. His position was compromised, and he had to flee the city. His master knew the woman cared for his pupil, and he asked her to go with him, saying that she was the sheath to his sword. Saying that the life of a manslayer was difficult, and that Battousai needed her to remind him of what he fought for. Needed her to keep him human. And so the woman went with him. They lived as man and wife for many months, and finally the care between them grew to love, and he asked her to marry him for real. She agreed."
Kenshin stopped abruptly, and Kaoru felt his body shaking. Looking over at him, she saw his entire body shaking with the pain of recollection, although his voice remained firm and detached. Although the shock of hearing he'd had a wife was a deep pain in her heart, she knew she had to wait to hear the end of his story. She had always wondered what had brought Battousai to become Rurouni, and could sense that this story would yield the answer. She could feel how much this memory was hurting him, and she wondered what it cost him to keep his voice clear.
"What was her name?" Kaoru wondered quietly after a few minutes had gone by and he hadn't resumed his tale.
"Her name was Tomoe." Kenshin said dispassionately. "And she had truly fallen in love with him, which was a problem for her. For she was not an innocent woman, but had been engaged to the man who left the scar on Battousai's cheek. She had introduced herself to him as a spy, as a way to get in behind his defenses so that she and those who hated him could kill him. She had thought him a heartless killer, and instead found a young boy who believed that he was doing what was best for those weaker than him. Who thought that his sword spoke the language of righteousness. She had come to understand why he did what he did, and when she was contacted by those in her group, when she was told it was time, she couldn't handle it."
"She understood him. She loved him. Yet she was told that she could be used in that way, that since he loved her also she would be a weakness her former group could exploit. Unable to deal with that, she fled from him, leaving only her journal for him, hoping that he would understand. He did, for he loved her as well, and grieved that his view of justice had led to the death of one she loved. And so he followed her to her group's headquarters. Man after man stepped out of the shadows, determined to gain the honor of having killed the Battousai, and Battousai slew each of them, although he grew weaker and weaker as he did so."
Kenshin stopped speaking for a moment, and Kaoru squeezed his hand in reassurance. Although she was bothered by the fact that he'd had a wife, that he'd loved someone other than her, there was no room in her heart to hate Tomoe. From both what he'd said and what he hadn't, she realized how hard life had been for Kenshin, and although she was jealous in one way, she could mostly be only grateful that he'd found someone to share his burdens with. Found someone to understand him. Although she'd always tried to, so much about him puzzled her. Yet each sentence he spoke now helped her become less confused, and she knew she was finally beginning to understand him.
"Finally, he found himself facing the master of this group. Bleeding from dozens of wounds, barely able to stand, he tried to do honor to his master and himself by slaying this man. He charged, eyes half-closed, his entire soul committed to this one last action. He felt the other warrior raise his sword, and knew that he could never be quick enough, yet he continued to move forward. He felt his sword cut, and his eyes opened."
Kenshin's voice broke, and his head dropped as his eyes closed, tears rolling down his cheeks. Kaoru moved without thought, rising somewhat and drawing his head to her chest as he cried silently. His arms came around her waist as he accepted her comfort.
"You don't need to tell me this." She whispered, heart breaking as she felt his pain.
"His eyes opened." Kenshin continued as if he hadn't heard her, although his voice finally showed the hurt of his story. "And he saw Tomoe between them. She faced his opponent, her hand on his katana to prevent him from hurting Battousai. And Battousai's sword had cut through her body, into that of his opponent. He had won; he had killed his enemy. But he pulled his sword back in horror as his love fell into his arms. Looking up into his eyes, she whispered that she was sorry, and that she loved him. And then she reached up, a dagger in her hand, and cut across the mark her fiancée had made. And then she died."
"And so the Battousai was left with a scar that spoke volumes about his life. Both cuts had been made while he was doing what he thought was right, what he thought would bring peace and justice to normal people. Yet somewhere in the time between when the two had been made, he'd realized something. He'd realized that killing didn't bring peace. It didn't bring order. It just brought death."
"He mourned his lost love, and he told his master that he'd fight until the war was over, he'd keep his word, but that once the war was over he was done with killing. And when the war ended, he became the Rurouni. He'd always believed his sword was meant to protect people, but he now took that notion further than anyone ever had. He used every skill he'd learned, not just martial ones but philosophical ones as well, to protect and defend. And he vowed to never take another human life again, and to spend the rest of his life making up for the ones he'd taken."
Kenshin's tears had stopped as he told her the end of the story, but now they started up again. Kaoru held him to her as he cried, trying to digest all that he'd told her. She'd known how strong his beliefs were, she'd known that he'd sworn never to kill again, but now that she had the whole story her heart broke for him. She'd known he'd killed enemies. She'd known he'd killed more people than anyone she knew. She'd thought that alone was enough to justify his choice to stop killing. Yet knowing what the final straw had been made her heart break for him. It had made her completely forget everything that had happened to her.
"Everything Battousai did was his choice." Kenshin said finally. "Although Tomoe's death was not his intention, it was a direct result of his actions. Of how he'd chosen to live his life." He took a deep breath, pulled himself away from her, and looked into her eyes. "Do you think less of me now, Kaoru-san?"
Her heart breaking for all he'd been through, it took her a moment to respond. When she did, the words came from the bottom of her heart. "Of course not. I'm amazed at the man you've become. I've always respected you for your beliefs, for how you choose to life your life, yet now I do so even more. Thank you for trusting me with this story."
"Thank you for listening to it." Kenshin responded. They were both silent for a moment, lost within their own thoughts, and then he said softly. "If you do not think less of me, if after hearing all that I have done you could still say you care for me, then I have a question for you. Why would you think that I would think less of you for something that was not your fault? Why did you fear to tell me what had happened to you?"