Hello again! Good news! I was able to finish this chapter quicker than I thought, so you're getting it ahead of schedule; and it's a bit longer than expected as well. Your reviews inspire me to continue writing, so I want to thank you all again; especially the ones who have replied twice now! Btw kitteninthemoonlight, I cut out the 'shitty' in this chapter just for you! I would also like to thank all of the people who have been reading this even without reviewing; over 450 hits so far! I am very thankful to all of you and hope you will continue to like my story. I just noticed that I have been mispelling Usopp's name up till now, so sorry about that. If you see any misspellings or grammatical errors, please let me know! I try my hardest to avoid those. One more thing: I'm going to go ahead and warn you all that I am not a fan of Nami; in fact I pretty much hate that girl most of the time. So if you are a Nami fan, please excuse Zoro's long rant on her and any future hating. Now, on to the fic!
Summary: Roronoa Zoro. Santouryuu user...ex-pirate hunter...first mate of the Strawhat Pirates... a man worth 120 million berri...future greatest swordsman in the world...blushing schoolgirl?! He may be known far and wide as fearless on the battlefield, but can Zoro handle matters of the heart? Can he deal with...*gulp*...feelings? Love is just another battle, Zoro! Join in on what can only be another hilarious adventure in One Piece as Zoro struggles with his newly realized feelings for his captain.
Enjoy!
A Pirate's Guide to Love, for Dummies
Chapter Three: Denying it can get you teased
"What the hell were you two doing down there anyway?" Nami questioned, giving the two in question an irritated scowl before picking up her cup of tea to sip on. It was lunchtime on the Thousand Sunny, and everyone was gathered around the table eating the feast the cook had whipped up. But, like most things with the Strawhats, even eating became a battle; this time one of survival, thanks to the captain of the ship.
Usopp turned to Nami, using his arms as a barrier around his plate in defense from Luffy's wandering hands. "We were finishing up working on my latest invention,when somebody," it was here that the sniper threw his own glare at the swordsman, "decided to take a trip to la la land and stop listening to my instructions." "Hn," was Zoro's only reply to the accusation, obviously unrepentant. Both men were covered head to toe in black soot from the explosion.
"Well be more careful next time," the orange-haired woman added in an admonishing tone, placing her cup back on its saucer. "I swear you guys are more of a hazard to us than any of our enemies combined. Do you want to sink the ship?" "Don't blame me! Blame Zoro!" the sniper replied defensively. "He's the one who-KAESE(1), LUFFY!!-who wasn't paying attention." The long-nose boy was trying to wrestle his confiscated fish out of the thieving captain's hand.
"That's been happening a lot lately," Robin added after sipping her own cup of tea, deciding to join the conversation. "I wonder. What's been troubling you so much lately to make you this distracted, swordsman-san?" There was a distinct twinkle in the archaeologist's eyes as she gazed at the man in question. Zoro growled in response, knowing that the woman was playing with him. He hated how she seemed to know everything and then looked at you with those 'I know all of your secrets' eyes. "None of your business, wench."
"Don't call a lady a wench, you uncouth lout!" Sanji threw at the swordsman, spearing the spot on the table where the rubber man's hand had been itching towards his plate with his fork. "Che," Zoro sneered at the cook, "I'll say whatever the hell I want to say, ero-cook(2). What are you gonna do about it?" The cook disgusted him with his female-worshipping ways and perversion. Every time the ladies' man spouted out his sappy, lovey-dovey nonsense with heart-shaped eyes, Zoro just wanted punch his face in.
"Maa, maa(3), you two. Let's not have another brawl at the table, ok? Some people are trying to eat here," Franky called out in-between bites; afterwards he began chugging down his coke. "Yohohoho, yes please," Brook chipped in, also setting down his cup of tea. "True gentlemen don't fight at the dinner table." "Don't fight at the dinner table," Chopper piped up, repeating the end of Brook's sentence in his cute imitation voice.
"Whatever," Zoro stated uninterestedly, chewing the food currently in his mouth. After swallowing it, he slammed his left hand down hard on the intruding hand to his left. "Itte, Zoro!(4)" the captain whined loudly, his hand trapped underneath the swordsman's fist. "Stop trying to steal my food then," Zoro replied without looking at the captain, knowing the pouting face would be in full blossom on the man's face. It was his biggest weakness. "But I'm hungryy," Luffy whined further, trying to get the green-haired man to look at him.
"You have food, Luffy." "I already ate it all." "Then you've had enough." "But I'm still hungryyy!" "Luffy!" Nami snapped, getting sick of hearing the boy whine. "Uresai!(5)" "But Namiii…" the captain turned his pout on the navigator. Unfortunately, it was ineffective on the girl. "I said shut up!" she gave him the look; the one that foretold of upcoming violence if he acted up any further. The captain sunk in his seat dejectedly with his arms crossed in front of him, pouting fiercely now.
Bitch, Zoro thought vehemently, casting a glare at the woman. Did she always have to be so mean to the boy? Sure, Luffy was annoying, but that was just Luffy being Luffy. It wouldn't be him otherwise. Besides, it was kind of endearing in a way; at least to Zoro it was. The swordsman couldn't help but throw a sideways glance at the dejected boy. He looked like he had just been told that he was not allowed to go on an island they docked at. The captain slide further down his seat, his lips beginning to wobble…
"Here," Zoro said quietly, picking up the last piece of fish on his plate and placing it on the captain's, still without facing the boy. Luffy quickly sat up, lips stretching into a wide grin. He knew he could always rely on his first mate. Luffy turned to the swordsman, literally beaming. "Thank you, Zoro!" he chirped happily. As was to be expected, a flush spread across the man's cheeks. Luffy's grin stretched even further at the sight, but Zoro didn't notice due to his current internal struggle.
This is ridiculous, Zoro thought. Why could he never refuse this boy? Why was he always overtaken by a warm, fluttering feeling in his chest whenever he thought about him? Why did he feel so happy just seeing Luffy smile, especially when it was at him? Why did he have to react like this?! His mind came no closer to the answer than before…
*Flashback*
"Next, we need that bottle to your right," Usopp instructed, pointing to the ingredient he needed. "Kore ka?(6)" Zoro asked, picking up what he thought was the right one. "No no! You're other right! Geez." "Hn." "Ok, now pour it in… ok, that's enough. Next…"
Zoro found his thoughts wandering away from his current task, and going back to his previous predicament. He couldn't believe how he had frozen up at the sight of Luffy and stammered in the face of his questions. This behavior was simply unacceptable for a swordsman. Oh, and don't even get him started on that damn blushing! But try as he might, he couldn't help himself. There was something about the rubber man that threw the swordsman off his guard, rendering him vulnerable. The boy seemed to be trying to break through his defenses, and that could not happen.
What was it about Luffy that made him feel like this anyway? Zoro knew that he cared about the boy more than anyone else in the crew, but that was to be expected. He was the first mate, so the closeness was given. He was also the first one to join the crew, so he knew the captain the longest. No, Zoro thought with a shake of his head, that's not right. It wasn't just because he knew Luffy the longest; the two had a connection between them that transcended the standard bond between captain and first mate. It had nothing to do with time or duty. Besides, he was only with Luffy for a short period of time before Nami joined the crew.
That greedy witch, Zoro thought angrily, his face forming into a scowl like it always did when he thought about the orange-haired woman; his hands tightened their hold on the bottle he was holding. "O-Oi, Zoro! Be careful with that!" The swordsman didn't even hear the sniper, too deep in his thoughts. No one pissed Zoro off more than that ungrateful, spoiled brat; not even Sanji! As far as he was concerned, Nami was a bossy, manipulative, abusive, selfish, money-obsessed, sluttish bitch! Why everyone thought so highly of her and her 'beauty', and let themselves be subjected to her cruelty was beyond Zoro's understanding.
But what pissed him off the most was how she treated Luffy like he was the most stupid and annoying burden to ever walk the face of the earth. This was the man who rescued her from her enslavers, her adopted mother's killer, and saved her village! And did she show him any gratitude, or even a little respect? NO! Oh, but whenever her ass was in danger, who did she come crying to? The stupidest and most annoying man on earth, apparently! It sickened him!
Even worse, who was the one who always came to that bitch's rescue? It was like Luffy didn't even care how bad Nami treated him. Not once had the captain ever put that woman in her place. If it had been Zoro, he would have straightened her out a LONG time ago! A good old fashioned backhand with a "Know your role, bitch!" would have put a stop to this shit. As if it wasn't bad enough that she had the love-cook under her every beck and call, it seemed like even Luffy was somewhat under the witch's spell. The captain's reaction to her 'happiness punch' and when Bon Kurei showed off Nami's tits while impersonating her lead the swordsman to believe that Luffy was actually attracted to her.
The thought filled Zoro with a fury the likes of which he had never known and did not fully understand. Why?! Why is it always that witch! What's so DAMN great about her, anyway? Why couldn't it be m…? The swordsman's eyes widen with that train of thought, the color rising in his cheeks once again. What had he just been thinking?! Why would he want Luffy to look at him that way instead of Nami? Why did it bother him so much to think of Luffy becoming more than nakama with the navigator? It shouldn't matter who Luffy was interested in; it didn't concern him. It's not like he was jealous or anything…
The swordsman began fidgeting a little, shifting his weight from his right foot to his left, uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts were taking him right now. There was NO way he would ever feel something as stupid as jealousy, let alone in anything regarding the money-loving wench. So what if his heart ached at the thought of his captain and the navigator together? That was just because he wanted the best for Luffy, and he knew Nami wasn't it! She didn't care about the rubber man, not like he did! Nami would just use Luffy for her own personal gains, and leave the boy heartbroken. She couldn't understand him like he could either! If anyone should be with Luffy, it should be…
His train of thought immediately halted, Zoro's entire face turned bright red and his whole body froze on the spot. He stared blankly in front of him, not seeing anything; meanwhile his mind had thrown itself into chaos. DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! The alarms rang throughout his head. His brain automatically hurled his last thoughts into the cage of denial to rot with the rest of his unwanted thoughts. Zoro was so out of it, he didn't even notice that he was still pouring the chemical into the ball currently in Usopp's hand…
"ZORO!! NOT THAT MUCH..." KABOOM!... until it was too late.
*End Flashback*
"See! He's doing it again!" Usopp exclaimed, pointing at Zoro obnoxiously. Said man snapped out of thoughts with blinking eyes. "Naruhodo(7)," Robin said, resting her head in her right hand while giving the swordsman that sly, knowing smile. "Was he blushing like this too?" She asked in a supposedly innocent way. Zoro gritted his teeth in growing, embarrassed anger.
"Now that you mention it," Usopp replied with his right index finger on his cheek and his thumb under his chin in a pondering pose, "yeah, he was; even more so than now." "Really," Nami added, smirking at Zoro. The swordsman glared viciously at the navigator, his fist tightening under the table. But she wasn't finished with him yet. "Funny how it shows up only when you're around Luffy."
"Nami-swan's so beautiful when she's pointing out the truth!" Sanji swooned. Then he snickered at the swordsman. "Yeah marimo, how is that? And could you be anymore whipped?" "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING WHIPPED?!" Zoro roared, jumping to his feet and slamming his fists onto the table. Out of everyone else on the ship, the cook had no right to call someone else whipped. With a smirk on his face, Sanji slowly lifted his right hand into the air; curling it into a fist, he sharply jerked it downward in a whipping motion. "Wapush" he cooed at the enraged man.
"Lay off him, cook-bro. There's nothing wrong with a man sharing his meal with another man," Franky admonished, beginning to sniffle. "It just shows how much heart swordsman-bro has for our captain." At the end of his statement the cyborg began bawling, rubbing his eyes with his right arm. "I'm not crying, damn it!" "N-No!" Zoro stammered, blushing even further at what the shipwright had said. "It's n-nothing like that! I w-was just shutting him up!"
"Yohohoho," Brook laughed. "Zoro-san's getting redder! Could the heat be getting to you?" "NANI(8)?! Zoro's sick? Call a doctor!" "You are the doctor, Chopper," Usopp reminded the reindeer. "Oh, right. Zoro! Let me check and see if you're sick!" "Don't bother, Chopper," Sanji added with another snicker. "You can't treat what the marimo has." The doctor gasped in horror, cupping his cheeks with his hooves. "YOU MEAN ZORO IS TERMINALLY ILL?!" Nami covered her mouth to keep from laughing outright, though her snickers could still be heard. "If by terminally ill you mean lo…"
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!" Zoro screamed at the top of his lungs, his head thrown back and his hands in his hair attempting to rip it out. He couldn't take this anymore! With a "SCREW ALL OF YOU!!!" the swordsman turned on his heels and stormed towards the door. It quivered in fear at the mere sight of the enraged man and tried to brace itself.
"Eh?" Luffy looked up from his plate and turned to see Zoro storming out, food still in his mouth. The captain had been so busy eating that he had not registered anything that had been going on around him until he noticed that his first mate was leaving. "Zoro?" the captain asked around his mouthful, "Where are you going?" "TRAINING!" Zoro barked out, throwing the door open and storming out, slamming the door behind him violently. It bent in on itself, rocking on the hinges after nearly being thrown off.
Who needs enemies when you have assholes for friends like this?
Translations/Author's notes
(1) KAESE, LUFFY!! - GIVE IT BACK, LUFFY!!
(2) Ero-cook - perverted cook
(3) Maa, maa- Now, now
(4) Itte, Zoro! - Ow, Zoro!
(5) Uresai! - Shut up!
(6) Kore ka? - Here?
(7) Naruhodo - I see
(8) NANI?! - WHAT?!
That's it for chapter three! Hope you liked it! As always, feel free to leave comments and see you next time!