"So I guess you're wondering how I found yo' ass," Hagrid implored. Harry did not give this question any of his attention however, since he almost had solved his Rubik's cube. "What is with you and that thing?"
"It is the only thing that quells the darkness in my soul…" muttered Harry, only half paying attention. Hagrid looked flustered. He grabbed the cube from Harry's hands and threw it out the window of the Hummer limousine.
"You gotta start actin' like a nigga, ya feel me nigga?"
"No, I don't feel you, all I feel is-"
"Shut yo' goddamn mouth. We're here. Follow my lead."
The ghetto-ass limo grinded to a halt. It drove away as soon as they exited its interior. Harry analyzed his surroundings. "Man we deep in the hood now, aren't we?" he asked.
"Damn right. Like I said, you a wizard, homie. And that means I have to take you to place full of yo' kind. Only two of such places exist, one is a racist private school in England, so we can't go there. The other is the Hogwarts Public System out in Harlem. That's where we's headed. But first, we needs to get some school supplies."
"What kind of supplies will we need?" Harry asked.
"Man, all you need is some Jordans. Ain't nobody gonna need textbooks where we headed."
They turned into an alleyway. It was an extremely unsightly alley, rats and garbage was everywhere. There was a random stack of tires just lying there, as if it were some kind of magnificent Greek sculpture. Inside, they met a shady individual. "You and that boy there lookin' to buy some weed?" he asked.
"No," Hagrid responded "just some shoes."
"Well shiiiiiiit. I got some real nice one's for ya. And cheap as a bitch too." Hagrid paid the man $3.50 and gave Harry his new pair of Jordans.
"How did we get those so cheap?" asked Harry.
"We's in Diagon Alley, everything here was stolen."