Learn to Clean your Toilet Bowl Symmetrically!
"Hello, welcome to another glorious episode of Symmetry Talk! Today I welcome you to my bathroom, were I shall teach all you wonderful viewers how to clean a toilet symmetrically," Death the Kid greeted with a gentlemanly smile. "First we will get the cleaner and symmetrical toilet brush. Liz, Patti, where is the toilet brush?"
"Does it matter? I don't think there is a symmetrical way to clean a toilet…just to make it symmetrically clean in the end which is pretty simple. I doubt that we really need a whole segment about it," Liz replied, in her assigned place, behind the camera with her younger sister.
"There isn't? You didn't think to bring this up at the meeting? Patti did you know about this?"
"Uh huh!" the cheery blonde responded with a giggle, though it was probable that she wasn't even paying attention.
"Great, just great. Now what are we going to do? If I don't have anything symmetrical to show the world then…then I might as well die! After all I'm just garbage! Always talking so high and mighty of symmetry but yet so disgustingly asymmetrical because of these stupid white lines that won't go away! I should die…kill me…just kill me now…" The asymmetrical death god was now curled up in his trademark ball on the ground, crying. Patti as usual laughed and giggled while Liz sighed in irritation.
"Why don't you talk about how symmetrical friends are better than asymmetrical ones?" Liz suggested, deciding that letting the world see their future leader in such a state was not necessarily a good thing. "I mean Maka's pretty symmetrical and she is more understanding of your…uh love of symmetry than Soul-who is asymmetrical."
"That's brilliant!" Kid exclaimed becoming cheerful, "Let us take our leave, now!"
When the group reached their friends' apartment, Kid knocked at the door, like the gentleman that he was, at least when there wasn't anything disgustingly asymmetrical in view. "Hello Soul, I must request entry into yours and Maka's humble abode upon urgent circumstances. You see I was unable to find an actual symmetrical way to clean a toilet bowl, plus I lost my symmetrical toilet brush so I must compare you and Maka based upon your differences in symmetry."
Though the young reaper thought this was a reasonable explanation, Soul was lost and did not feel like going to the infirmary for a month again so as he shut the door he replied, "No way, it ain't too cool to be cooped up in a hospital bed for weeks. See ya at school…maybe."
"No! Wait! Please! I beg of you!" the young man started to cry.
"Soul, who's at the door? Oh Kid, hello, come in," Maka said cheerily. "What is it that you need?"
"I need you to stand here, if that is not too much trouble, just look symmetrical, yes, just like that thank you, thank you so much! Now Soul you stand there! No, not there, there! Yes there perfect you asymmetrical slob!"
After shouting at Soul, Death the Kid took his place between his friends in front of the camera, "Thank you for your patience. Now you see, to my left is a symmetrical young lady, she is one of my good friends and a top student at Shibusen academy. To my right is another student of Shibusen. He is a terrible student and asymmetrical, always sleeping in class and never appreciative at all about symmetry and its marvelous beauty! Do you see where I am going with this? Basically the more symmetrical the person, the better the person is. This is why I try my hardest to be symmetrical, unlike this moron to my right who shall burn in flames from Hell for his incredible lack of symmetry!"
Kid's little speech was starting to tick off the demon scythe, who was the spoiled brat to judge him when he had those three Sanzu lines. "Who're you callin' asymmetrical ya freak! Did ya look in the mirror lately! Not so symmetrical, is it! I outta kick your sorry butt for saying I'll burn in flames from Hell for being asymmetrical! If I'm gonna then so are you!"
"At least I care about symmetry you pompous fool! I cannot burn in flames from Hell for I am an avenger of symmetry! I shall make sure there is symmetry where ever I go, unlike you who couldn't care less!"
While the two argued in a heated battle of shouting, Maka left her station to find her book. Unlike most days it did not just appear in her hands, it was most weird. As soon as she found her book, it was lights out for both idiots.
"Don't worry, if you aren't symmetrical you won't burn in flames from Hell, Kid is just being over-dramatic," Maka giggled as the image of Symmetry Talk faded from televisions nationwide.
Author's Note: Ta-da! I meant to finish this sooner but here it is! I had a lot of fun writing the part comparing Maka and Soul and symmetry and stuff XD and I said 'avenger of symmetry' because that Avengers movie just came out...even if I don't have interest in seeing it. It's just kinda ironic that way. Um...also any ideas on another episode of Symmetry Talk?