Say Goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight,
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,
As we dance with the devil tonight

It was dawn before she finally stopped crying.
Part of me wanted to go back in, a big part of me. However, I did not. The vicious look she gave me had been a wake up call. Mikan was right when she said I needed to remove the rose-coloured glasses from my face.

The academy seemed like a normal school (or as close as it could get with Alices) but in reality it was dark and , it would not hesitate to dray a person into is shadows if there was even the slightest benefit.

In the back of my mind, I wondered how Mikan had turned into one of its pawns. While I could see her Nullification Alice being beneficial to the academy, it was not that beneficial. There had to be another reason. However, I did not dwell on this.

I now understood why Mikan had never told us she was leaving.

"I've been running from the academy my entire life Natsume! Do you think I'd just come here knowing what would happen to me if they hadn't resorted to dirty tactics?!"

Mikan had known what the academy was long before they took her away. She knew we had Alices.
She never told us because she had been trying to keep the academy from finding us too. And I had foolishly followed her, thinking everything would be peaches 'n' cream.
Everything she had done for me had been thrown to the dogs.

How was that for a kick to my ego?Here I thought coming after would be a good thing. That I would help her somehow. When in reality it was the opposite. She had been protecting me. I had by no means, in anyway, been of any use to her by coming here.

I did not see Mikan for 2 weeks after that. She had been sent on her mission to Paris by Persona.
Oh how I wish she had not taken that mission, Maybe things would have gone differently.
But then again, I could say that about anything that had added to the hell that were our school years (Would I have been so desperate to follow had she not been there when I coughed up that blood back when we were kids? If I hadn't realized my feelings before she left?).

Classes were far from boring at the academy. And not in the chaos-from-trouble-making-alices way. No, It was a far more dangerous kind of non-boredom. During the two weeks Mikan was away, I got to know the other kids. Or the ones that would talk to me. I

t soon clicked that the dangerous ability types had a certain reputation. Most people seemed to avoid us, and if they spoke, it was layered either with fear or with disgust. Finding people who would actually talk to me normally was no small task (and this is before we take into account the fact Mikan is my childhood friend).

However, find them I did.

Koko was one of the few boys not secretly enraptured with Mikan. He was the owner of the mind reading Alice, and tended to blurt things out that usually made awkward situations worse. He was also one of the few in out class that didn't either fear or detest Mikan. When I asked why he just smiled and said he was in her debt. I did not press any further.

The class president was also part of the Pro-Mikan club. How he managed the job of class president I will never know. He seemed to be too shy for the job. He was the pansy I thought Ruka had been when we first met, Without the looks. The kid even had glasses. He was the living stereotype of a class president you would find in a Manga or an Anime. He had the Illusion Alice, and apparently, he was also in Mikan's debt.
Once again, he gave no indication as to why.

He did however direct me to the blue haired girl with the Chemistry Alice. I asked her, she fidgeted a bit, but eventually indicated for me lean closer before whispering to meet her at her lab. Later that day, when we were supposed to be in the ability classes I skipped out and visited her lab. She was still cagey but I got some useful information from the visit…

"You know Mikan's Alice don't you?" she asked as she mixed two chemicals together with a great deal of precision.
"Nullification, right?" I replied, stepping back a bit when the concoction made a large 'poof'
"Well, yes…" she grumbled some curses id assumed she didn't even know as she glared at the substance in the beaker. "But I meant her other Alice."
"Mikan has another Alice?" I had considered it a possibility but I had not given it much thought
"You didn't know? Aren't you childhood friends?"
"We only knew about her Nullification Alice. She was taken to the academy a few years later."
"I see" She squealed in delight when the sticky-looking liquid turned a purlpe-ish colour.

I watched as she flitted around, taking various substances from a variety of containers. I waited until she seemed to have calmed down before speaking again. I did not want to distract her when she was mixing possibly volatile chemicals. I liked having my head on my shoulders.
"What is her second Alice?" I asked
"Huh?" She looked up from one of the equations scribbling down. "Oh…" She got cagey then. Like she did not want to be caught speaking about something she should not.

"I don't know if I should tell you that… even if you go way back, it's not my Alice to tell about. Not to mention…" she seemed to realize she was about to cross a line and quickly clamped her mouth shut.

"Look, were in the same ability class so I'm bound to find out what it is eventually right?" I spoke gently. If I were to get anything more out of her, I would have to be patient with pondered for a moment.

"Alright, but I didn't tell you this. Are we clear? I owe Mikan a lot. If she hadn't helped me out when I first arrived Mikan wouldn't be you're only 'classmate' if you catch my meaning…" I did. Apparently, this girl had come close enough to the dangerous abilities class to know it was not a class."Fine with me. So what is it?"

She glanced around; as she was afraid Mikan would show up. She bent close to my ear a whisper the name of Mikan's Alice.

I only had the name of her second Alice, but it explained so much. The red stone I though had been a trick of the light, the reason the academy were so adamant she join their little militia group. It explained why my Alice had suddenly weakened too. She was probably cursing herself for sapping my life out by accident.

I was organizing this information in class when Mochu approached me. He tried to give me advice regarding Mikan, warning me to stay away from her for my own safety. Had he left it at that things would have been fine.
But no… He had to say it.

"She's inhum-"

My fist connected with his jaw. I was glad I'd gotten into so many fights when I was younger now. It had been good practice for beating the shit out of this little worm.

The fore of impact sent mochu flying into one of the benches a few rows behind his original seat. I quickly closed the distance and picked him up and threw him acros the room. He crashed into the wall before crumpling to the floor. He stood up shakily, he opened his mouth to say something but I sent my fist into his face again.

He fell down again. I sat in font, my legs on either side of his to prevent escape. I used my left hand to clutch a fist full of uniform, pulling his face closer to my own. I used my right to rpeatedly send vicious blows o his head and face, I used my Alice to heat my skin of my hand to a high temperature, something that didn't bother me, leaving burns behind on the boys skin as I dealt the blows.

I saw him, it was only for an instant but I caught sight of his long black coat. He had seen Natsume using his Alice. My Alice restraints weren't any use against high control of an Alice. I had made them under the impression natsumes degree of control was poor. They only suppressed an Alice when their snsors detected an Alice gone haywire from the wearers pulse.

Natsume had complete control. Of course he had. It sucked his life away. If he didn't have good control, he would be dead by now. I was an idiot for not realising the facts, instead of basing my work on the old Natsume; from more peaceful times.

I should have been more careful! Mikan had told me before she left on her mission to be careful of persona! She'd warned me! She knew he would have been watching Natsume! Why else would she want me to make him Alice limiters?!

I was oblivious to the chaos erupting in front of my eyes. He smirked before walking away from the crack in the door. Somewhere in my gut I felt the worry begin to form. This was the start of something that was going to rip us all to pieces.

After some time I stood up, gave him a few kicks to the stomach before making my way out of the classroom. Mochu had a broken jaw and enough burns to earn him a week in the infirmary. The class gave me a wide berth as I walked out. I had just earned the 'do not approach' warning level.

Ruka did not look too impressed with me but I knew he had silently been cheering me on. Id seen him move to punch the boy before I got there. However, his displeasure was nothing compared to Hotaru's. She was beyond pissed and had travelled into the realm of fucking murderous.

I hurried to a secluded location underneath the bleachers in the sports stadium where our P.E. classes were held before I turned to face her wrath. There was no point trying to escape it (it was impossible, even Mikan couldn't completely escape it) so I did what I always had when it came to dealing with Hotaru's temper.

Find somewhere no one can see me have a girl scare the bejeesus out of me and wait for it to blow over.

Hotaru's temper is not to be taken lightly. Ruka doesn't put up with her blackmail for fun. He does it because if he doesn't he'll mysteriously disappear for a while before turning up covered in chicken feathers talking Spanish dancing the Macarena.

Hotarus wrath is to be avoided at all costs.

Her face was the epitome of calm, except for her eyes. The slight furrow in her brow, and slight tilt of her head, combined with the hardness of those cold amethysts sent chills down my spine. She didn't bother to take out that freaky air gun of hers.
I would not get a physical reprimand for my actions.

"What was that Hyuuga?" she asked quietly. Her posture and facial expressions shifted slightly, eyebrows furrowing a millimetre more. Her voice was in that same quiet tone she always used, but I noticed the way she almost spat my name….

Dear god, she was going to kill me!

"Well?" The folded her arms impatiently "I'm waiting for an answer Hyuuga"
Shit! Think of something! Anything! Just don't tell her the truth! She'll fucking kill you! She's going to kill you anyway, but the truth will result in a painful death! Think! Are you a boy genius or are you not?!

"You heard him!" I retorted, ignoring my brains ramblings
Idiot! You have doomed us all! Goodbye Ruka… luck after Aoi for me. Bye Mikan… I'm sorry I didn't manage to get you out of here…

"He would have called her Inhuman if I hadn't beaten his ass into the floor!" She let out a sigh of frustration before massaging her temples. Apparently, I was still oblivious to the problem.

"And? Mochu was being polite Hyuuga."
"What?"
"Did you think Inhuman was the worst thing Mikan could be called? Or did you want to protect her from the name-calling? Because I can assure you it won't bother her in the slightest."
"So what?! Maybe they'll leave her alone now!"
"Shut the fuck up Natsume!"

Hotaru hardly ever used my first name. And she swore even less often.

"You need to wake up and smell the roses. You have no idea jut how precarious your position is right now! You have no clue as to how much danger you're going to cause Mikan!"
"What…"
"Why did you have to use your Alice?! Did you not think the academy would be watching you?! Mikan warned you! I didn't make those limiters for the good of my health, though they're a fat lot of use to us now…"
"Wait, hold up! How do I put Mikan in danger by trying to make life easier for her?!"

I felt her hand on my face.
She must really want to kill me if she had gone as far as to slap me.
I felt the sting on my face as I turned to face her.
The cold mask was still on her face, but only barley. She was shaking.
I knew she would probably be crying if she were your average girl.

"Mikan cares about you Natsume! And I know you would jump in front of a train if you though it would keep her safe…"

Frankly, I want surprised by the fact that Hotaru knew I was in love with Mikan. I would have been surprised if she had not. What did surprise me was the catch in her voice. It was probably taking all her self-control not to break down.

"…and that all He needs! He will get to Mikan through you, and he will get to you through Mikan! They've used me to get her to do stuff before! It's only a matter of time before they come after you instead!"

Oh, fuck. Really, why was I so stupid? Why had I not realized this?

"As much as I hate to interrupt this little chat, I have a few things to talk to Natsume about"
Hotaru whipped round to see the figure I could already see. Persona was leaning against one of the pillars not too far from our own location. He had obviously been there from the beginning of the conversation.

"You… You fucking…"
"You would do well to remember your own position Inventor, wasn't that what you were just telling Natsume to do?"
"I hate you… one day… I swear I will find a way to castrate you and ship you to some cannibal infested island without repercussions…" she hissed through gritted teeth, her fist clenched and shaking with rage.

"You've said so before, however that day is not today. Now you run along Miss Imai, I'm sure you have plenty of work to do." she was about to protest when Persona interrupted her. "What's this? You want to join my class? After Mikan had done so much to keep you out?"
Hotarus eyes widened in… fear?

"What a waste of effort…"
Hotaru fled.

When I got back to my room, I found a note from Hotaru. I knew what it asked without looking at it. I also found a folder containing the details for my first mission/. After grabbing a packet of crisps from my kitchen, I headed out of my room with the folder in the direction of the Three Star Rooms.

I saw her coming up the stairs. She had obviously just returned from her mission. You couldn't tell she had disappeared for two weeks at all. She had not a hair out of place. Not to most people anyway; I could tell something hadn't gone as planned by the saddened look in her eyes. One that looked far too common for my liking. Other than that, she just looked tired.

"You're back."
"Of course not Natsume. I'm just a figment of your imagination." she said with a slightly acidic tone. I would be lying if I said it didn't sting hearing her use it on me. I had barley said anything to her. Why was she being so cold? It seemed she had been pushing me away since we had arrived here.

"How was your mission?" I asked. Trying to make conversation.
"As well as could be expected considering the conditions." She spoke quietly this time."What happened?" I asked.
"They… they were insane… or badly injured. I couldn't get anyone out…."

I reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder but she slapped it away with a loud thwack.

"Don't make the mistake in thinking I need your sympathy Natsume. This happens all the time." She finished her sentence with a slightly bored tone. She moved forward to pass me, but I blocked her path, grabbing her shoulders to prevent escape.

"Why are you brushing it off so casually?!" I asked angrily. She was talking about human lives wasn't she?
"Because it happens all the time. You can't save everyone, Plain and Simple. There are always casualties in war. This is no different. You just get used to it" Her expression never changed, and she retained her aura of weariness.

She gently removed my hands from her shoulders before calmly walking past me towards her room. I don't know if she heard my whisper.

"You shouldn't be…"

As I walked away from him, I heard the faint whisper leave his lips.
He was right. I should not be so used to it. Nevertheless, I was. And it only heightened the blatantly obvious fact I was not the girl he had come after.

We both knew our relationship was more than friendship. It was just unspoken. And when I heard him whisper those words, it heightened my resolve to make sure that it would stay that way.

Even so, it hurt to walk away from him so callously. To talk to him so acidly. It was like taking a knife to my chest and twisting it around inside my body. My stomach churned in distaste whenever I snapped at him. It ripped my heart into pieces as I deliberately shattered all the ideals he had built around me.

I wanted to be the clumsy 10-year-old he had followed. Sometimes I would kill to be able to laugh without a care in the world as I once had.
Laugh like 'Mikan' would.

But I couldn't.
Life just was not that kind, especially not to me.
I considered myself lucky I had be given the chance to see Natsume again at all.
It was enough for me.

Besides, if Natsme wanted to survive longer than three months he needed the wake up call.
Missions were never easy, and death was an unwanted norm.

Missions...

As thoughts of the mission entered my head, I collapsed onto my bed let out a sigh of frustration.
Persona had been in a good mood. That was bad.

Persona in good mod usually caused me problems.

The mission had been fairly simple. Most of the 'test subjects' had gone insane. And the few people who hadn't had soon died from injuries they received escaping. Despite my efforts, there were always unknown factors that could make the best made plans go awry during missions.

I had noticed personas mood when I handed in my report. He hadn't made any kind of remark, as per the usual. He just took it and turned back to his paperwork. That just screamed something was going wrong somewhere. I had not seen much of Natsume or Hotaru since my return. Hotaru was normally waiting for me. And Natsume…

"Natsume!" I sat up as the possibilty formed inside my mind.

Had Persona gotten to him?
No! No! NO!
He couldn't have! I'd been so careful to keep his Alice hidden…
He had the limiters didn't he? Didn't that meant he was still safe?

I began to pace back and forth across my floor.

Just because Natsume had the limiters did not mean they would work perfectly.
Natsume's Alice was volatile, and needed a lot control to keep in line. I knew that from the small portion I had. It caused me problems keeping it stable sometimes… What if it got out of line? Even the best limiters could be overcome if an Alice got to wild…

I grabbed my jacket and hurried down the corridor and down the stairs to the three star rooms.

Hotarus absence bothered me aswell.
Hotaru was always in my room waiting for me when I got back from a mission.
Always.
Unless she was dying of Yellow fever, I doubt she would fail to show up.

I was about to open the door when I heard Natsume's voice.

"…kill some guy called Neji Tachibana… what? What's Wrong?"
"Neji Tachibana? Are you sure?"
"Its what the file says. See for yourself"

I felt the blood drain from my face the minuet I hear Natsume say the name Neji Tachibana. I begged whatever cursed god ruling my life to be playing some sick joke on me.

She was waiting for me outside her room. I didn't want to know how she knew I was coming.
I probably would not like the answer.

She walked back into her room leaving the door open, clearly telling me to follow her. I had barley closed the door behind me when she started her nazi-like interrogation (or it seemed so to me).

"What did he say?" she asked, not bothering with pleasantries. We knew each other well enough to skip them. Besides, it was not the time for them.
"He wants me to do a mission" I said simply.
"What kind?" she asked, as she paced back and forth across her floorboards. "Tell me exactly what happened"

I could tell by the look in her eyes she was worried. Not just about Mikan either, though it was mostly Mikan. I immediately began to recall the encounter as her analytical brain prepared to dissect every shred of information I gave her…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"What do you want?" I asked, taking a step back.
In the back of my mind, I was silently preparing for any sort of attack he could dish out.
However, that was a lot, considering the shape and forms of Alices. And though I did not know what Persona's Alice was,
I was certain it did not turn clouds into candyfloss or water into wine.

"What do you want, sir" He said. His voice was deep, but it had an eerie smoothness to it.
"Honestly, you children have no manners these days." he leaned back against one of the pillars.
He seemed to examine his nails, but I could see the faintest trace f an evil smirk gracing his lips.

"What do you want?" I repeated.
I did not intend to show the man any respect.
Until he glared at me.

I could not see his eyes because of his mask; however, I could not mistake the atmosphere he was creating.
I looked down, trying to avoid eye contact with him. The dandelion he was standing on became infected with a sick, black colour before dissolving to ash an instant later. I looked at Persona, then the dandelion, then Persona, and the dandelion again.

My brain did the maths for me.
I was in no position to be cocky, or brave, or just a plain jerk.
Persona was in a position where he could kill me without lifting a finger, or with little effort.
Moreover, the look in his eye told me he had no problems doing so.
He would probably enjoy it.

"…sir?" I grudgingly added the title at the end. Personas face returned to neutral.
"Good boy. You'll be a useful one yet…" he said, smiling slightly. I found the smile more unnerving than the glare.
"I said you would have Tsubasa train you before going on missions. I changed my mind. You already seem to have the basics covered" he said, his tone strictly business. His constant mood swings were not helping to calm my already frazzled nerves.

"You are going to a warehouse in Hokkaido. It is a base of operations for a man who has been a nuisance to the academy trouble for a number of years. You will remove the aforementioned nuisance."
"You want me to kill him?" I was slightly shocked. I had anticipated this at some point, but not right of the bat.

"I don't care what you do. Just make sure he cannot cause any more problems. Of course, his death is preferable, but Neji Tachibana is not what one would call an average opponent" He seemed to give the persona of grumbling. He almost spat the mans name. His distaste for him was clear.

"Fine. When is it?" I asked. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
"Tonight. Front gate. 11pm sharp."

He didn't have to tell me not to be late.
I nodded in response and turned away from him.

I kept a cool façade as I began to walk back to the school, but I wanted to run as fast as I could.
Anything to get away from this… I could not think a good word with which to describe Persona.
I had emerged from under the stands when he appeared next to me.

One hand onrested lightly on my shoulder, he bent close to my ear and whispered.

"You should know failure is not an option for you, Natsume. Not if you don't want the little butterfly to be one of the guinea pigs for some drug research."

Then he was gone.
I let out the breath I had not realized I had been holding, collapsing to my hands and knees.
After a few minuets of deep breaths, I finally managed to calm myself.

He had barley touched me!
just a slight touch, the tips of his fingers resting on my shoulder for the brief moment in which he spoke.
He was cold. Freezing to the touch.
Like he was already dead.

He had barley spoke; I had had to strain to hear his blatant threat.
Nevertheless, I had heard it, the sick pleasure that coated his voice.
Not only from watching me squirm, but also from the idea of what he could do should I fail.

This man enjoyed the pain of others.
Be it emotional or physical.

He enjoyed twisting those he considered nothing more than his gamepeices until he had sucked the life out of them, body and soul.
I barley caught these idiosyncrasies, These insights into what kind of person he was.
But it had been enough.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hotaru stared at me, horror faintly etched onto her delicate features.

"Neji Tachibana? Are you sure?" I barley detected the slight crack in her voice. Seeing Hotaru's reactions told me I had just gotten myself into a rather fucked up situation, well another one.

"Its what the file says. See for yourself" I handed her the file that had been waiting for me on my bed.
Hotaru pounced on it.
She flipped it open and flicked her eyes across the print at an incredible speed.
As she did so I could see her expression darkening.

"Shit… Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT!"
she threw the folder into a corner of he room.
It hit the wall with a loud thud, before dropping too the floor, scattering its contents across the wooden surface.
Hotaru also dropped to floor, leaning against her bed, and head in her hands.

"Fuck…" she whacked her fist against the floor in frustration.

"What? What is it?" I asked tentatively.
I had never seen Hotaru look so angry or so defeated.
The frustration was a new one for me as well.
I briefly wondered if Ruka had ever seen this side of Hotaru. He had always been closer to her than I ever had.

She seemed to know I would be a source of pain for Mikan one day, and vice a versa.
Hotaru did not tolerate those who caused Mikan pain.
She had always been somewhat cold to me. Never showing anything more than a cool, calm icy rock to me, and occasionally irritation (usually because of Mikan).

And here she was, looking like she had completely given up.
I had no idea who the girl sitting on the floor was, but I was certain it was not Hotaru Imai.

This was why I was so reluctant to speak, but I had to.
This was no time for either of us to have a break down.
No matter how much we might find it easier.

But... what on earth was i supposed to say?

"You cant handle this guy" she finally spoke.
However, it was not an answer I had wanted to hear.
I had hardly been expecting bunnies and chocolate, but did she have no faith I me at all?

"What do you mea-"
"I mean the last time Mikan met this guy… he almost killed her." I stared at her in shock as she continued to explain.

"She was in the ICU for a month. I do not know what for, they wouldn't let me in. But when she woke up, she had a whole load of bandages on her head. You can see where the stitches were if her fringe is blown about. She couldn't remember anything for about a week"

I felt like some sort of rock I had been standing on, that had previously been a very stable one, had suddenly become unbalanced.

"w-what?"
"You heard me. And like I said, you can't handle him" she said, pulling her knees up to her chest, avoiding eye contact.
Like she knew how much her defeated appearance scared me.
It really did.
Hotaru was always the epitome of cool.
She never panicked, she never worried, she occasionally smiled - but only for Mikan, and she never. broke. down.
She never ceased to find a solution to something.
Seeing Hotaru looking like this scared me as much as Persona did.

I knew why she had suddenly stopped.
She was remembering what had happened to Mikan, what she had seen at least.
She had seen how dangerous this Neji character could be personally.
She knew, just as I did, that I probably didn't stand a chance.
However, Neji was not the only problem we had to deal with…

"I don't have a choice though. If I don't…" I shuddered.
I knew how much he enjoyed this, and I'd only met him twice in almost a month.
He knew we would be trying to find some sort of solution or safety measure.
And he knew we would not find one.
He was enjoying the sight of Hotaru breaking into fragile little pieces, something she had never been.
The fact she was not even one of his game pieces just added to his pleasure.

I knew he would enjoy seeing the results of my almost-certain failure ten times more.

"I know" I knew she did.
Easily more so than I did. She had been her since she was ten years old.
For four years (we had just passed into the New Year), she had been next to Mikan as she was exposed to Persona.
She had seen him do things I had yet to see.
Things I did not want to.
Hotaru probably suffered more emotionally from Personas twisted schemes than Mikan did.

Mikan had her resolve to put up with Persona. She had the resolve to protect her loved ones, her classmates, protect anyone she could.
Hotaru did not.
Not because she did not want to, but because persona would not allow it.

She was likely under pressure from the academy, like Mikan.
However, it was a different situation than Mikan's.
She also had the cool façade to uphold at all times, especially in front of Mikan.

If she cracked… then Mikan most likely would as well. Mikan was putting up with all this for us after all.
If Hotaru lost it, her efforts wold seem like they hadnt worked at all.
Just one slip and everything they had done to survive here would come crashing around their ears.

Add to this her worry for Mikan, and person had a gamepeice that was easy to twist to his sadistic desires. Throw Ruka and me into her maelstrom of emotions...
And it was going to be getting close to breaking point for her.

But she would not break openly, and that would make personas game that little but more exciting.

She knew exactly how twisted persona was.
She also knew I stood no chance against this Neji I was supposed to 'remove'
Hotaru had no idea what to do.

I had heard enough. I ran as fast as I could to personas office.
I had to get the mission from Natsume.
I did not care what I would have to do in order to get the mission from Persona.
I did not care that I would end up in the hospital if I did get the mission.

I just had to keep Natsume from going.

"So... I guess I'll just have to hope I come out of this alive?" It was a statement, but my tone indicated I was asking her a question.

"There isn't really much else we can do." she mumbled into her knees.
What seemed like an age passed in the space of a few seconds.
I couldm't think of anything to add to the answer I had already anticipated.
Hotaru too.

What do you say to a person who willingly walks to their death? Seriously, what can you possibly say to that?

"Fuck… fuck… fuck… fuck… I HATE THIS PLACE! I HATE THAT MAN! HE IS FUCKING ENJOYING THIS! HE KNOWS I CANT DO ANYTHING! HE KNOWS I CAN'T!" I was jerked out of my thoughts by her sudden outburst; she was kicking and thumping the wall in frustration.
Tears clearly streaming down her face.

She seemed to be ignoring it though; tears never seemed to bother Hotaru.
She just ignored them as they streamed down her face like miniature waterfalls.
She grit her her teeth in frustration, before thumping the wall one last time and collapsing to her knees again, still staring at the wall.

I felt I should probably offer some sort of sympathetic gesture, but I knew better.
This was my fault in the first place for following them.
If I tried to show her any sympathy right now, she would lash out at me, and tell me exactly what she though of me and Ruka's appearance here. And I knew she did not want to say that.

Hotaru may be a cold girl, but she is human.

She does not like hurting people, same as Mikan.
If she lashed out at me, the guilt would gnaw at her for months.

So instead of offering any support, I turned away form her and turned towards her door instead.
As my hand met the handle, I paused.

"If you think of anything…"
"I know…"

And with that, I walked out. Closing the door lightly behind me.