IF I WERE A ZOMBIE, I'D EAT YOU THE MOST.
I'm dragging my bare feet along the sidewalks of Park Avenue. Searching… searching…searching. What is it I'm looking for again? I can't remember. I can't even remember my own name. Did it start with an E? Maybe it was an N. That and I are monstrously hungry. I'll probably stop for some pizza, or spaghetti, or both. Mmm.
"It's a nightmare out there!" Blair said as she took off her coat.
"I'm just glad you're home," Eleanor said and looked at Chuck. "So what was it you did that had my lovely daughter running around the city for?"
Chuck smiled and began to speak. He couldn't wait to finally be able to say he was marrying her daughter. But before he spoke, Blair blazed through his trail of romance.
"He took me to the top floor of an office building to watch the ball drop." At least it wasn't a lie, just not the complete truth. "You should've seen it mother. The fireworks, the music, the… the…"
"The kiss?" Eleanor finished.
"It was all so breathtakingly romantic," Blair said. "So where is everyone?"
"Everyone left as soon as the news spread. I insisted they stay but they decided it best to get home. Except Serena of course. With her mom and brother being out of town she decided to stay here with Charlie."
"Oh."
"That's alright, isn't it?"
"Yes of course," Blair smiled a fake smile and dreaded the moment Serena would walk out and see Chuck. "Where are they?"
"In your room."
"If you two would excuse me," Blair said to Chuck and her mother as she headed for her room.
Jenny got up, put on Damien's leather boots and grey pea coat, and headed outside. She pulled the coat tight around her and sat on the snowy step. The air seemed even colder than earlier as she stared at the phone.
"Nate, I'm sorry!" She wanted to tell him. "I made a mistake and ran away. I was scared and didn't know how to face anyone, especially you…"
The words flowed through Jenny's mind and saturated the pain and hurt she long ago tucked away. But tonight it grew immensely; there was no energy or strength left to hide behind all the ignored calls, voicemails, and texts. She opened his last voicemail.
"Hey Jenny. I know you're ok. You can take care of yourself. I understand why you felt you had to leave. No one has forgiven you here. But I know why you did what you did. It's because of me and for that I am eternally sorry. I'm not asking you to come back. Not this time. I'm just asking that you please, please call me back. I just need to hear your voice tonight. Jenny I li—"
Jenny sniveled as Nate's last sentence got cut off. She wanted to call him. She wanted to hear his voice, not just a recording. She wanted him to talk to her, not her voicemail. But she knew if she did, everything she's worked to achieve the past months would be for nothing and she would run back to New York where everyone but Nate hated her and she would have to start over with nothing and no one.
"I can't," she said weakly. "I'm sorry I just can't."
"Blair!" Serena jumped off the bed to hug her best friend. "Are you ok? It's crazy out there isn't it?"
"Just really busy." Blair returned the hug and then skulked to her vanity. She spotted Charlie staring at her through the mirror and glared at her. Charlie swiftly crossed her arms and put her head down.
What the hell am I still doing here? She thought to herself.
"So how did things go?" Serena asked, excited to have Blair back. "Where's Chuck?"
"How did you know Chuck was here?" Blair turned around to face Serena.
"Your mom said he was coming." Serena sat back down on the bed by Charlie.
"Hmm."
"What happened?"
"Chuck took me to see the fireworks," Blair said with a smug smile.
"And?"
And he proposed to me. And the world is perfect. And no, you don't need to know. Blair looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Come on Blair. What else happened? There's no way you would rush off so fast just for fireworks when your mom is having a New Year party. That's just not you."
"Sure it is! You're not the only one around here allowed to do things on a whim."
"Blair…"
After Jenny left to call her friend back Damien flipped to an old movie about gangsters and romance. He watched the star-crossed lovers sneak away from their homes and lay on a beach.
The girl: I never want to go back home.
The boy: Then don't. I've got a car and plenty of gas. We can get away from here. You don't need that man he don't treat you right.
The girl: But it's not right. We can't just run away. It's too big a risk.
Jenny came back and sat down next to him. "What are you watching?"
"I dunno, but it's better than the news shit."
Jenny laughed somberly and pushed against him.
The boy: Sure we can. What is there to risk? The life we have here?
Nate. You're right. I'm doing great actually. I can't say much, but I'm in Chicago trying to make a living for myself. Don't blame yourself for what happened. Everything was me. I did it all and you know that. I'm so sorry for the things I did. I hope at least you forgive me. No one else really matters to me anymore…