As Stan made his way to his front door he spent a few seconds fishing through his pockets for his keys, when he finally found them he made his way into his home. As he shut the door he heard the familiar voice of his mother.
"Oh! Hi Stan, how was your day sweetie?" Said Sharon, as she put the book she was reading on the table in front of her. Stan kicked off his shoes before approaching his mother. "Oh, it was alright. It's just school, after all." Said Stan with a smirk on his face. Sharon chuckled "So, how are your friends? You haven't seen them in a while." She said as she picked her book up again and rested it on her lap. Stan looked up at the ceiling for a second before answering "The guys are doing great! ...I'm going to my room, can you give me a shout when dinners ready?" said Stan. "Of course you can Stanley. I'll give you a shout when dinners on the table." Stan said thanks as he turned around and then made his way to the stairs.
As Stan was entering his room he flung his backpack on the floor, he left his room door open slightly, Stan liked hearing what was going on around the house and generally only closed his if he was going to sleep or wanted some 'private' time. He didn't have any homework or anything so he decided to see what everyone else was doing, as usual Steam displayed both Craig and Clyde playing League of Legends, Stan considered asking them if he could join, but quickly decided against it as he was feeling like all he wanted to do was laze and not spend much energy doing anything. So he let out a small sigh before going to YouTube, knowing he could easily find entertainment there without putting much thought into it.
Over at the Broflovski's house Kyle was in the kitchen talking with his dad while his mother was in the living room watching TV. Gerald cleared his throat as he put his newspaper on the table "So, how was your day at school, Kyle?" said Gerald as he grabbed the cup of coffee next to him. "School was okay, it was the first day back so not much happened… Also, me and Stan have most of our classes together again this year." Said Kyle with a happy smile on his face. Gerald finished taking a drink of coffee before returning his attention to Kyle. "Well that's great to her, son! Glad to see that you're happy about school this year!" said Gerald, who then turned his head towards the living room and said "Unlike a certain young man, who just complains about his teacher!" raising his voice so Ike and Sheila could hear him. Ike turned his head towards his father and said "Hey! It's not fair, I've got Mr. Garrison as my teacher and he sucks donkey balls!" before returning his gaze back to the TV. "What, what, what?! Ike, you watch your language!" exclaimed Sheila, obviously annoyed by her son's choice of words. "Oh yeah! Dad, I was invited to spend this weekend at Stan's, so… may I?" said Kyle as he returned the notepad he was doodling on back to his backpack, which was hung on the chair. Before answering Gerald looked at Sheila, who simply nodded back to him, signifying that she heard the request and was okay with it. "Well, your mother has no objections… and I don't have any, so sure you can Kyle." Said Gerald as he turned his head back around towards Kyle. The look in Kyle's eyes was that of pure excitement. "Awesome! Oh, may I be excused now?" said Kyle as he got out the chair and picked up his backpack. "Sure thing, Kyle. Have a good night, son." Said Gerald now returning to his paper. "Thanks mom, thanks dad!" shouted Kyle as he dashed up the stairs and straight into his room.
Back at the Marsh's house Stan had just finished getting changed, since he planned on turning in for the night soon, he was now wearing long black shorts and an old baggy red t-shirt. He then sat cross-legged on his bed and started reading one of his comics, just as he finished the first page he heard a knock on the door, he replied to the knock on his door by saying "Come in" and that's when Randy opened the door and took a step into the room "Hey, son. Is it okay if we have a little chat?" said Randy, smiling at Stan. "Sure dad, what's up?" quickly replied Stan, returning the comic to the nightstand next to his bed. Randy then sat next to Stan on his bed, and let out a little sigh before speaking, "Now Stan, your mother and I have noticed you've been spending a lot of time… alone, in your room lately and your mother wanted me to-…" Said Randy as he was cut off mid-sentence, "Oooh, no way! No way are we having this conversation I-…" said Stan as Randy returned the favor cutting him off in mid-sentence, "Stanley, your mother just wants to make sure you understa-…" Said Randy before being interrupted by Stan, once again. Stan stopped pinching the bridge of his nose and looked at his dad while raising one eyebrow "I ALREADY KNOW, dad..." said Stanley as he returned to pinching the bridge of his nose and quietly saying "This is so embarrassing" under his breath. "Oh, so you've already learnt about it in school? Well… Stan there is a difference between learning about it and do-.." said Randy before getting cut off by Stan, yet again. "Look dad! I KNOW and I KNOW, GET IT?!" exclaimed Stan obviously extremely embarrassed at this point. Randy looked at Stan with a blank expression for a few seconds before he spoke again "Oh… OH! I get it now!" Randy then cleared his throat "W-well… You know, and… YOU KNOW… So I don't have to explain it to you." Said Randy with a complete look of relief on his face. Randy then got up and walked towards the door while Stan picked up his comic and returned to it, when Randy suddenly turned around and said "Oh… You don't have any questions before I leave, do you?" Stan now looked annoyed and let out a loud sigh "No dad, I'm good, thanks." Said Stan with a tone of great annoyance and frustration in his voice. Randy chuckled and said "Oh I bet you are good, son!" Stan just lowered his comic and looked at his dad in frustration and shock and said "D-DAD! Jesus Christ!" then quickly buried his head back into his comic. Randy chuckled again and said "Well goodnight, son." before he closed the door as he left.
Stan tried getting back into his comic book but the previous conversation with his dad, was still on his mind and getting to him, he decided he needed to talk to someone to get it off his nerves. So, he threw the comic to the floor and reached into his nightstand draw for his smartphone, he then searched through his contacts and once he found Kyle, without a second thought he began sending a message to Kyle… A minute or two later and Kyle heard his smartphone buzz, signifying that he had received a new message he reached for his smartphone and read the message instantly, once he noticed the message was from Stan.
"Dude, my dad came in here and tried to seriously give me 'THAT TALK'!" said Kyle, reading the message out loud to himself, he couldn't help but crack a smile and laugh. Whenever he imagined Randy sat next to Stan and the look Stan would have on his face, he just started to laugh. After a few seconds Kyle regained his composure and starting thinking of ways he could respond… After a minute or two he decided how he would respond… "That's totally lame, dude! You're going to be 16 next month, he's like… 4 years late! At least it's over now though! :D" replied Kyle, trying to be supportive and understanding, but still snickering whenever it crossed his thoughts. Stan, still holding his smartphone read the reply from Kyle the moment it came through, he decided to reply one last time. "I KNOW RIGHT! If he had come in wanting to have THE TALK, I would have been cool… BUT wanting to have THAT TALK, seriously NOT cool… My parents man! Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow dude, going to get some sleep. Thanks for listening." Stan then put his smartphone back in his draw, and got into bed and before closing his eyes… He clapped, to turn his room light off.
After reading Stan's latest message, Kyle was happy that he was able to make Stan feel better, even if only a little. As Kyle was putting his phone on his nightstand he heard his mother and Ike coming up the stairs, and he heard the typical back and forth between his mother and Ike. "C'mon moooom! I'm not REALLY tired, can't I PLEASE, PLEASE just watch a LITTLE more TV, it won't hurt none!" to which Sheila let out a sigh as she replied "No, Ike. It's a school night, you need your sleep so you can pay FULL ATTENTION in SCHOOL, young man." Said Sheila as she opened Ike's room door. Ike tried one more pitiful attempt to sway his mother's mind. "But Mo-…" but before he could even finish Sheila cut him off "No Ike, go to bed." Said Sheila in a strict tone, pointing at his bed. After she saw Ike in bed, she turned off his light and closed his door. She then said "Good night, boys." to which Kyle and Ike said "Good night." In unison and the noise of Sheila going down the stairs could be heard. Kyle closed the book he was reading and decided now was a good time to sleep, so he turned off his light, closed his door and got into bed… But found he suddenly became restless, unable to get comfy and whenever he silenced his mind the sudden thought of "I wonder what hand Stan jacks off with…" would occupy his mind, after a few minutes of tossing and turning unable to shake the thoughts out his head, he sat up and let out a long sigh… "W-why am I thinking this? There is no way I'm… No, no I can't be, I mean he's my BEST friend, he's like a brother." Kyle then got out of bed and rummaged under his matrass and pulled out a DVD box and the title read 'BACKDOOR SLUTS #9 - RE-RE RELEASE: MORE WOMEN = MORE PENETRATION!' Kyle just looked at it for a second before stuffing it back under his matrass and thought to himself "My mind… must just be overworked…" before getting back into bed, and this time being able to get to sleep.
It was the early hours and Stan was woken up by the sound of a neighbors outside bin being knocked over, he darted awake and sat up at the sound of the bin hitting the ground "W-who?! Where?! W-what?!" exclaimed Stan, obviously half asleep… After a few seconds just sat, Stan looked down and noticed his sheets where propped "Huh… Wonder why I'm pitching…" He thought to himself while gently tapping the peak of the sheets. He thought it would be awkward to knock one off, considering the conversation he had with his father earlier… So, he just sat back for a few seconds… But it refused to go down. Stan was getting a little annoyed at this point, so he looked around and noticed the glass of water on his nightstand, he picked it up and held it above the propped sheets. "W-wait what am I thinking, this just isn't worth it, there has to be another more humane way!" he suddenly thought to himself before putting the glass of water back on the night stand, after a few seconds he was getting desperate… He wanted to sleep, but his boner was effectively stopping him, that's when he got the idea that if he was to play with it a little then maybe it would go down a bit, so he could sleep. At this point he was willing to try ALMOST anything, so he threw the cover off himself and slid his shorts off, closely followed by his boxer shorts then he slowly started to run his thumb across the head of his penis, he moaned a little as he was doing so. Then he placed his other hand on his pubic hair, he didn't know why, but putting his hand on his pubic hair felt very relaxing to him after a few minutes of this Stan gasped, closed his eyes and felt a warm liquid run down his thumb, Stan quickly moved his arms to his side and took a deep breath, at this point he felt tired again and after a quick cleanup he put his shorts back on and after a few seconds returned to sleep… Actually happy in the thought that he solved the problem without having to go 'all the way'.