This Chapter is in Edward POV. How he became addicted to Bella's blood and why. At the end of the chapters. I will tell you a little of my story, and you can piece how they fall within this story
The moment I latched onto her wrist in that ballet studio, I was addicted. I couldn't stop. I wouldn't stop. It was Mine!
My senses could tell there were too many vampires around. I had to finish my kill before they tried to take it. But it was like my mind went into tunnel vision. I heard a voice tell me her blood was clean, but my brain couldn't register it. It was only screaming at me MINE! MINE! MINE!
Then something clicked. If you drain her now, there will be no more. You have to keep her alive so there will be more! Then for the first time in one hundred years, my body did something I don't think it's ever done. I know it hasn't since I've been a vampire. I got an erection.
I released her arm. This was euphoric. I had to know what it was like to have an orgasm while I drank her blood. I suddenly looked around to see if my family noticed.
I then jumped away from Bella's lifeless body as if it were poison.
"EDWARD!" I heard Carlisle's voice as I ran like a bat out of hell from the ballet studio. Keeping to the shadows, I ran as far and as fast as I could. The sun would set soon, but for now, I needed to keep to the shadows. My family was there to look after Bella. My Bella. My sweet innocent Bella. Look at what I've done to her. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I was a monster and she needed to stay away from me. I warned her, and she wouldn't listen.
I found myself in an alley, palming myself through my pants. Look at me. Look at what she's done to me. I always mocked Emmett for is sexual addiction. All his basal self-gratification. And that beast Jasper. He has a mate, but even he would resort to masturbation from time to time. I never wanted to be like them. Now, here, I have to resort to the same distasteful act.
I unzipped my pants and wrapped my palm around my shaft. I thought about the sweet nectar of Bella's blood. Like honey from the gods, ambrosia as it slid down my throat.
As I released onto the sidewalk below me, I slid down the wall, I had just brace myself against as I came for the first time in my vampiric existence. I placed my head in my hands.
"What have I just done? I drank from my Bella!" Even as I cursed my very existence, I could still taste her on my tongue. Her sweet, warm, fragrant blood. So warm and filling as it hit my stomach. It took everything in me to hold myself where I sat and not go after her again.
I have to get away from her. Get her away from me. But if she goes back to Forks, I'll be too tempted to go back for more. No, she needs to go to Florida with her mother. The almost constant sunshine will be enough of a deterrent to keep me away.
"FUCK HER FOR MAKING ME DO THIS!" I yelled to the heavens.
I stayed there in that alley until the sunset. I called Carlisle to find out where they were.
"Son, I'm glad you're okay. We've taken Bella to Maricopa Medical Center. Her Mother and Father are both on their way. You need to be here, son so we can brief you on the cover story we've come up with." Carlisle said through the phone. I disconnected the call and pulled up the hospital in my phone's GPS, and sprinted there.
As soon as I walked into the hospital, I could smell Bella's blood, and the venom started to pool in my mouth. Then I smelled my family, and I had to suppress the growl that was building low in my chest for the vampires that were too close to my kill. MY DRUG! MY KILL! MINE!
I had to shake those thoughts from my mind. She was not my kill, she was my mate. WHOSE BLOOD BELONGS ONLY TO YOU! My beast was roaring in my head. I can't do this. I have to get out of here. I turned to leave when Carlisle called out to me in my head.
"Edward." He then rushed over and enveloped me in an embrace. As I stood there, while the man that sired me showed me so much love and understanding, I look over his shoulder and see the rest of my family and hear their thoughts. The loudest of whom is Emmett. Emmett loved Bella from the start, wants to kill me.
Jasper is apologetic and uncharacteristically understanding. He, along with myself, is the only one who understands truly feeding from humans. Other than his newborn slips and two singers, Emmett doesn't really understand the call of human blood.
Carlisle who has never tasted human blood is of no help to me right now, and Alice her love for Bella as a sister is throwing daggers at me.
"Bella is in surgery now, Edward. The amount of blood she lost, along with her injuries, and she's had to have a blood transfusion. They are operating to repair her broken leg," Carlisle said to me pointedly.
"But I want you to know, son, I'm very proud of you. While it was touch and go, you found the strength to stop through the frenzy." Way to pour salt into the wound, Carlisle. I only stopped so I could have her blood again later.
"I know this is hard for you, son. But you may want to go and hunt to bring your eyes back to our familiar color before her father gets here. He should be here in a few hours. It gives you time," I heard Carlisle say to me in my mind. I nod to him, turn and leave the hospital.
How the fuck am I supposed to go back to feeding on deer, now that I've had the sweetest of ambrosia? AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HUNT IN FREAKING ARIZONA?
As I run out of the Phoenix metropolitan area, I notice the mountains surrounding the desert and I smell there are mountain lions, elk, deer and bear. None of those smell appealing at this moment. But I have to do something, anything, to take my mind off of Bella and her sweet blood.
I once told Bella her blood was like my own personal brand of heroin. Never did I dream how accurate those words would become. It calls to me. Pulls me to her. And God Almighty, it gives me an erection. My brother's tease me that I must be gay because I've never been with a woman. Hell, I gladly accept being gay. I was beginning to think I was asexual; though, I'd never admitted it to either of those childish twits. Never before had anyone, male or female excited me in this way.
I quickly caught the scent of a male mountain lion and take it down. The blood is warm as it slides down my throat, but it's not enjoyable. No blood will be as satisfying again. I continue to feed until I'm so full I'm sloshy, and I can't move. I've gorged myself on blood, trying to get the taste, feel, smell, and satisfaction of Bella's blood out of my mind.
I find a bear cave and drain the bear, even though I feel like I'm going to throw up if I drink anything else. But I want the cave so I can keep myself out of the sun.
I stay there for three days until the blood has been absorbed by my tissues. I've ignored more than two dozen phone calls from my family. The signal beeps that I'm at 15% battery charge, so I quickly listen to the messages and read the text messages, all saying the same thing.
Bella's out of surgery.
When are you coming back to Bella?
Bella is asking for you
You need to come back to see about Bella
Bella, Bella, Bella, fucking Bella!
What about me? Do they even care what I'm going through at the moment? The woman I love was kidnapped by a deranged psycho that happens to like to play with his food. But do I really love her? Or was it the appeal of her blood and her silent mind that has me so intrigued with her?
I place my hands in my already unruly hair and tug so hard it feels as though I will pull it out from the root as I scream at the top of my lungs.
Stop it! Stop it! You love her! You've always loved her! She's your mate! It's just that now you've tasted her blood, your mind doesn't know what's real! I feel as though I'm going mad! My phone rings yet again. I look at the caller ID and see that it's Carlisle
"WHAT!" I scream into the phone.
"Edward, son. I know you are upset. But you need to come back to the hospital. We've explained to Bella's parents that you and Bella had an argument, which led her to flee Forks. You and I came here to try and persuade her to return home to her Father. She tripped on the stairs and went flying through a plate glass window, which is how she ended up in the hospital. But you need to come back to show that you and Bella are fine now, that you still love her." I think about what he's said.
"Maybe it's better if I didn't return. Her being with us is too dangerous. I've told her it's too dangerous for her to be involved with me and now look what's happened. It's nearly cost her her life. It would be better if she went to live with her mom in Florida."
"Son, you don't mean that. You're just distraught from everything that's happened. Please come back. We're staying at the Royal Palms Resort on Camelback. And son, Bella has been asking for you."
"I KNOW!" I say frustratingly while still tugging on my hair. "Look, I don't have much battery life on my phone. I'm coming to the hotel first. I need to shower and change and recharge my battery. Maybe someone can meet me just outside the hotel with a change of clothes," I say as I look down at my state of disarray. I'm covered in dirt, animal fur, and blood. It's then I realize, I'm still covered in Bella's blood. That's why I can't stop thinking about her blood. I'm covered in it.
"I'll have Alice meet you."
"Thank you, Carlisle. I'll be there in a minute," I tell him and disconnect the call. I sit for a moment and collect myself while running my hand through my hair. (A/N Always have to mention the hair. It's the only thing I personally find appealing with Edward.) I then set out on a sprint to the hotel.
Alice sends me a message that she is at a gas station and that I can change in the men's room, then she will take my bloody clothes out to the desert and burn them. I really do love that little pixie, but I am going to rip her head off, and her husband's for letting Bella slip away from them.
I meet Alice at the location. "You and I are going to have a talk later," I tell her as I take the bag of clothes.
I know Edward, and I'm sorry. Alice says in my mind. Alice waits patiently as I change clothes. I take paper towels and try to wash as much blood off my hands and neck as I can, before stuffing the bloody clothes into the bag.
When I come out of the men's room, I had Alice the bag, and she hands me the card key for my suite before exiting. I watch as she flits across the street. Once she makes it to the first hill range, she takes off for the desert. I turn and go across to the Resort where my family is staying. I look at the cardholder and find the suite I've been assigned. I immediately take off the close I've just changed into and head for the shower.
Once showered, I change into another set of clean clothes, head back down the elevator. Alice is waiting there for me to drive me to the hospital. Once in the car, I plug up my phone to charge and turn to face Alice.
"Alice, how could you let this happen?"
"I'm sorry, Edward. I was caught up in a vision of James that I didn't see her leave. I wasn't watching for her because I knew she was safe with us. She asked Jasper to walk her to the ladies room. He said he was so caught up in all the other emotions coming from the ladies room that he lost her signature in the crowd. He also said he didn't like spying on the emotions coming from there. He said there was deception coming from there, but there were many feelings like that, so he didn't register that they may have been coming from Bella." I listened to what she was saying but decided to put that information away for later. We continued to drive in relative silence to the hospital. But then I hear Alice reciting passages from Romeo and Juliette in Mandarin. Is she deliberately trying to block her thoughts from me?
I try to clear my mind as much as possible with my gift. It's not easy when I hear everyone's thoughts. I have learned over the century to quickly filter out unneeded thoughts, yet I still retain the ones that may be needed for later. It's required for the many years of high school and all the unnecessary thoughts of adolescent humans. It was why, finally not being able to hear Bella's thoughts, had me so intrigued to get to know her.
Once we enter her room, the first thing I notice is that her blood smells different. My nose flares as I continue to take in her scent. Carlisle is there looking over her chart. He gives me a small smile as I enter her room.
I look over to Bella, and she is sleeping. She has a cast on her broken leg. Oxygen tubes are coming out of her nose. But she still looks beautiful.
"How is she, Carlisle?"
"Quite well actually for what she's been through."
"Where are her parent's."
"I sent them to the hotel to get some rest. They've been standing a constant vigil while she was in a coma." I look at Carlisle in panic.
"It's okay son, Her body and brain just needed to heal from the trauma of losing so much blood. She was also concussed. She also needed surgery to repair her leg. Thank God, it wasn't crushed or it may have been much worse. Right now she's just sleeping. She's been awake and asking for you."
"Carlisle, you have to convince her parents that she should move with her mother. It would be safer for her if she were not around us, around me." I look deeply into his eyes, hoping he can see the true meaning in the statement.
"Edward, if she is truly your mate, do you know how difficult it would be for you not to be with her, or her with you. While she is still human, the pull may not be as great, but she will still suffer. I worry how you will handle being away from her. I know it would literally kill me… Her blood pressure is stable, I need to check her pulse-ox…" What just happened? Is Carlisle trying to block his thoughts from me? Why is he now reciting bible passages in Japanese? What is everyone hiding from me?
"Now that you're here, I'm going to take the boys and go for a hunt."
"No, Carlisle! I mean, I would feel better if someone else was here with her as well,"
"Alice will be here shortly. She's actually going back to pick up Charlie and Mrs. Dwyer." I close my eyes and let out a deep unneeded breath at Carlisle's words.
"Okay, but does she really need me here right now? I mean she's not even awake right now."
"Then it's a good thing you'll be here when she does awake, Edward." Carlisle gives me a soft smile as he pats my shoulder before turning to leave the room.
"Carlisle, may I ask you something. Why has the scent of her blood changed?" I watch as Carlisle turns back to the room. His nose flares as he scents the air.
"I think it may have something to do with the blood transfusion. I've never noticed there is a difference in a person's scent once they have a transfusion. I'm sure once the blood cells integrate into her body, it will take on her natural scent." He then leaves the room and closes the door behind him.
I think about what he says, but I don't think that's it. The blood almost has a familiar scent, though it does mix with hers. I now feel stifled in her room. The scent of her blood is permeating throughout the room and into my every pore. The venom starts to pool in my mouth again just thinking about how sweet her blood was as it flowed into my mouth.
Suddenly, like a lightbulb goes on in my brain. It's James' scent. When I first started pulling the venom away from her bloodstream, the taste was bitter from his venom. When I began to feed on her pure sweet blood, was when I felt the first tingling of arousal. I'm sure he felt it too as he bit into her arm. Is that why I still smell him? I pulled all of his venom out of her bloodstream. Is his scent still in her because He violated my sweet innocent girl?
I walk over to where she lay, beautiful in sleep. I've always loved to watch her sleep. She's so peaceful and childlike. It's also the one thing I miss about being human. If I could sleep and shut my mind off for just one night would be a godsend.
I see the bandage on her wrist from our bite. It is tinged with blood and is making my mouth pool with venom. I wonder if I lift the dressing…
I'm pulled out of that thought with the sound of footsteps and the voices of Alice and another woman, who must be Bella's mom. I flit over to the recliner sitting in the corner away from Bella's bed, pull the blanket over me and pretend to be sleeping, just as the door opens.
"Oh my, is that Edward? Well, I can certainly see why Bella is so enthralled with him. He certainly is good looking," the woman says.
"Yes, Mrs. Dwyer. That's my brother Edward. He was ashamed to come while you were here. He sees this whole thing as his fault. He really does love Bella very much." Alice explains.
"Too much," the deep voice and sarcasm of Chief Swan pipes in.
"Oh, Charlie. You might learn a thing or two about love from that young man," Mrs. Dwyer says disdainfully.
"Bella, darling," I hear Mrs. Dwyer coo. I sneak a peak and I see she has Bella's hand in hers and is brushing her fingers through Bella's hair to gently wake her.
"Renee' please, let the girl sleep," Chief Swan grunts out at Bella's mother.
"Will, you hush up, Charlie. I know Bella would want to know her boyfriend is back," Charlie grumbles something unintelligible in the back of his throat.
"Mom, you're back. How long have I been asleep? Has Edward…"
"Yes honey, he must have come back while your Dad and I went to take a nap," Mrs. Dwyer says to Bella
"Mrs. Dwyer, Chief Swan, why don't we go down to the cafeteria and grab some coffee," Alice offers as she knows I'm not asleep. I'll give you a half an hour before I bring them back. Alice says in my mind. Then they are out the door, closing the door behind them. As soon as I hear their footfalls descend down the hall, I open my eyes and look into the beautiful doe eyes of Bella.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I really did think he had my mother. I just couldn't let her die. I knew it was a possibility he would kill her anyway, but I had to try," Bella's soft voice says. The sound is like music to my ears. Just to know she's still alive.
"My silly, beautiful, selfless girl," I say as I stroke her lovely hair. She smiles.
"But you love me anyway," she says with a giggle.
"That I do, my love. But now it is my turn to be selfless. Bella, I think you need to move to Florida with your mother." The panic immediately flares in her eyes. I kiss her forehead to try and ease her mind.
"Bella, our world is just too dangerous for you."
"Edward, I'm alive because of you. I know you get tired of saving me but…"
"No, Bella, you're in here because of me. It just proves I'm not able to keep you safe,"
"Then change me. Make me like you,"
"No, Bella! I will not damn you to this existence as a monster."
"So, you would rather me grow old and die?"
"Yes!" If that means I keep you human for your blood, hell yes!
"No! That's not what I want. I want an eternity with you. I know I'm nothing right now because I'm just an insignificant human, but if you change me…"
"Bella, enough!" Bella shrinks down in her bed at my harsh words
"Edward, please. Don't send me away!" The machines start to beep as she works herself up into a panic and she begins to cry.
"Sssh now, sweet girl," I say as I kiss her on the top of her head. I then try to leave, but she grabs my hand. Of course, I could leave if I wanted to, but I let her pull me to her.
"Please don't leave me, Edward. I love you," Those words melt my stone heart.
"Ssssh, I'm here," I say to her.
"Please, Edward. You can't say things like that to me. Ever."
"Where else would I be," I tell her before gently kissing her on the forehead.
"You need to get your rest, Sweet Bella."
"Can you get my Dad. I need to apologize to him for the terrible things I said," she says with pleading eyes.
"Sure Bella, I'll get him for you." I then leave the room to be met by Alice.
"This is all your fault! I asked one thing of you. Keep her safe. You couldn't manage to keep one insignificant human girl safe. Your gift is useless to me!" I grab Alice by her shoulders and look into her eyes, filling her with vampiric allure. "You will no longer look into my future or Bella's future, DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND ME?" I breathe over Alice's senses. I see her eyes glaze over and I know the allure is working. She can't speak, she can only nod her understanding. I see Jasper and Emmett coming up the corridor. I flee down the stairs before they know what I've done.
My husband was 7 years older than me when I met him. His little brother and I were "friends with benefits" He had just gotten out of jail from a drug charge when he came to live with his brother and basically stole me away from his brother. He relapsed on and off drugs, I would leave him, he would track me down and force me to come back. While we were dating, he would accuse me of still sleeping with his brother and would beat me up about it. One morning I woke up to find his brother sleeping on the sofa. I was so scared and paranoid, that I left the house stole a pack of cigarettes on purpose so I could get caught and thrown in jail, just so I wouldn't have to go back to the house.
Just so you know, to keep from falling into a depression while I'm writing this, I'm watching my favorite scene from Twilight The Baseball scene. Love the song and watching them play baseball. Hee hee hee
Also, I've decided who Bella's savior is going to be. Her savior, however, will not be her mate. But will get her to safety. One more chapter in Edward's pov before the knight in shining armor comes to the rescue.