{Alright guys thanks for all the support for this story, sorry for the late update. I'm doing the same thing I'm doing with the rest of my fan fictions. To update the stories people are wanting updated sooner I'm going to base how soon I update on how many people either favorite, follow or review. Reviews can be advice or a request to update or even just a comment it doesn't matter. I'm not saying I won't update because I will just won't be as often if the above doesn't happen. If that makes sense? I don't own the sons of anarchy only my own character and anything you don't recognize. So please comment, follow or favorite. Thank-you! Ps anything in italics is in Tig's point of view}

After he left I felt my legs crumble underneath my weight. I fell to the floor, holding my hands in fist to my chests. I thought I had gotten rid of all my feelings towards that man. But as the tears fell from my eyes onto my chest and hands I realized how much I missed him and not just him but everyone else. After about thirty minutes of being on the floor my phone started to go off in the living room. I got up and walked into the living room and picked up my phone…it was Derek. Realization hit me, I can't love Tig because I'm with this man. The man that promised me the life I wanted from Tig, the life he couldn't give me. But the emptiness I felt in my heart didn't leave instead it grew. I took a deep breath rubbing the tears from my face before I cleared my throat and answered the phone. "Hey Derek."

"Hello sweetheart. How is your day going?"

"Good."

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No just finished with the horses a few hours ago." My voice cracked a little and I tried to disguise it by continuing on with the conversation, "How is your family?"

"What's wrong I can hear it in your voice?"

I felt my heart skip a beat, I couldn't tell him about Tig or his visit. What was I going to say? I started to panic when I thought of the other part of why I was upset…my family. But did I really want to tell him that, I had a bad feeling but what else was I going to do "Vic?" He called out to me

My eyes darted around the room before I stared at my fingers, "I miss my family, that's all."

"Like your dad or your mom?"

Of course he wouldn't think them and not the other part to my family I never talked about them much. "Yeah it's my dad, I think I might go see him tomorrow."

He sighed but still had that sickly sweet sound to his voice that I loved so much. "I think it's a good idea babe, give him my best. Remember I will be home next Sunday?"

I flinched at one of his nicknames Tig's face flashing in my mind and the hurt look on his face. "Thanks hun and I will be here I'll make your favorite super."

"Okay I love you."

"Love you to. Talk to you soon."

We just pulled up to the club house and I was just about to get out of Gems car when she grabbed my arm and spoke up for the first time since we left Vickie's house, "You okay baby?" I

couldn't lie to her, she would know but who am I to talk about my feelings with anyone, I didn't do that. I had a flashback to what Vickie said in the kitchen. Maybe that was my issue, maybe that was why she left because I pushed her away because I don't share my life or what is going on in my head with anyone. I think it was time to start "I miss her." I whispered quietly

I leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath. I could feel her eyes on me but I didn't look at her. I didn't want the pity. "I know baby I know, "she patted my arm, "I think she will come around I saw the look in her eye tonight when I came in. But when she does I'm going to let you know this now, figure out what happened and hang onto her for dear life, don't let her go this time Tiggy. I saw the love in her eyes and the burning desire she had before she left us but I also saw the hurt and frustration to. So be careful. She will come around Tiggy you just gotta be patient."

I was doubtful but hearing Gemma say it I couldn't help but feel a little bit of hope. She gave me her charming smile she knew how to use oh so well and I got out of her vehicle. There was a party full swing in the clubhouse but I needed a smoke before I could face the boys, a chance to clear my head. So I sat out on the bench watching the fight go down in the ring and lit up a smoke. No one but Gemma knew how I felt about Vickie now. That she just wasn't some chick I kept around for arm candy or to fuck. Don't get me wrong I missed that terribly, these sweet butts had nothing on her. What hurt the most was when I finally opened up and let that bitch of ex out of my life and tried to move on with her, I was too late, she slipped through my fingers. Even though what Gemma said gave me hope I'm not sure if I wanted her back I would be scared to get close to her again, to lose her again. The door opened to the clubhouse and someone came out and patted my back. It was Jax. "Hey Tiggy you're missing the party. Stace is looking for ya."

Stace was one of the younger and most recent croweaters to walk in here. She was brunette with emerald green eyes and a small body that looked like she would break if you dropped her. Preferably I preferred them with meat on the bone but after Vickie I went after the complete opposite of what I really wanted. Stace dug her claws into me the moment she saw me. Which I was starting to hate as she was getting clingy, I had to constantly remind her of her place here. That she wasn't and would never be my old lady. But I needed someone to play around with and get Vickie out of my head. I stubbed out my smoke and got up to head into the clubhouse but Jax stepped in front of me and said, "Ma told me what happened out there, look man she will come back what have I been telling you all along? I should know."

I was really starting to hate that sentence, "What? You mean like Tara did?"

I didn't mean to snap at him, I know that he meant well but Vickie was getting to me again. I chuckled and put my arm around his shoulder steering him towards the clubhouse doors. "That came out wrong. Let's just enjoy the night and leave the past where it should be at least for the night."

"Whatever you say."

He patted my back one more time before my eyes made contact with Stace. She started to walk towards me exaggerating her movements especially in her hips (which she really didn't have to begin with) swaying them drastically. When she reached me she leaned into me her long nails sliding up and down my chest while she whispered into my ear, lips brushing against them. "Where ya been hiding big boy? I missed you."

She was pretty drunk but, I didn't care. She grabbed my shirt and started to pull me down the hallway to my dorm. I tried to ignore the stare from Jax. When I got into the room, I kicked the door closed behind me and let her lead me to the bed. As she pushed me to the bed I notice her lean in and try to kiss me but when her lips meet mine, all I could think about was Vickie and how her lips had felt on mine the last time I kissed her and I pulled away letting my anger getting to me. I picked Stace up and threw her on the bed and leaned over top of her I could hear her giggling underneath me. I laid my hands on her hips but I couldn't stop thinking about Vickie. About how her hips felt being squeezed under my hands, how soft and perfect her skin was, the sounds of her voice. "Tig?" Stace called seductively from underneath me, "What's wrong baby?"

I rolled my eyes, I can't do this right now. Not after today. I pushed myself off her and went to the desk in my room, peeling off my cut and placing it on top of it. I looked over at Stace, she was on her elbows looking at me curiously. "Get out." I barked "But—"she tried to dispute with me

I interrupted her, "GET OUT!" I barked

She instantly got up and scurried for the door making sure to slam it as she left. I smashed my fist on the desk. "Fuck!"

I yelled at no one in particular. She wasn't even here anymore and she is still cock blocking me. I laid back on my bed knowing there was no reason to leave and let sleep take me.

This place…I haven't been here in so long to see the man I called father behind bars. He never blamed me though, we talked regularly but even he knew the pain it caused me every time I walked into this place. I was always a big daddy's girl and I still am. It pains me so much to see the man I have loved the most since the moment I was born behind bars. It was even worse because I couldn't touch him even though he was within reaching distance of me. I couldn't wait for our normal call, I needed my daddy.

I took a deep breath as I stepped out of my old 1988 dodge Dakota and walked towards the gates. My dad never liked the thought of me working for a living when I got a family that can fully support me or I could work with Gemma but he respects my wishes. He never liked it if I dressed like my mom, he always said it would attract the wrong kind of attention…I guess he was wrong even when I dressed sexy but classy as my mother would put it, I still attracted the worst attention, Tig's.

So I figured I would jazzy it up a bit today and instead of my normal wear I dressed up like I used to. I wore the long black flow skirt I got from him at my last birthday and an white off shoulder blouse that ended just above my belly button and I wore my mother's favorite black wedge heels they had a bow on the straps. I let my hair flow down in curls and put on my two charm necklaces I received from both my parents on my sixteenth birthday. As I walked through the main doors that lead to visiting room I started to grab at my hands. I was getting nervous but when I walked in and saw my dad sitting there all calm I felt a wave of panic go over me. He turned and looked at me and smiled, I couldn't leave now. So I walked over to the table and sat down hesitantly. His smile never left his face as he said, "Hey my beautiful star what are you doing here? I was surprised when they said I had a visitor but even more so when they told me it was you. Don't get me wrong I'm glad to see you finally but what's so wrong that you came to see me instead of our normal phone calls."

"Nothing daddy I just wanted to see you again, I thought it was about time to visit again."

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me what's bothering you so I can help you."

I looked down at my lap and started to pick at my dress. "Victoria?" he whispered to me

I looked up when my dad called out to me and his hand slid across the table towards me with a big smile plastered on his face. I looked hesitantly at the guard who watched this happen but looked away as I made eye contact, I took that as an okay. I leaned forward and placed my hand in front of his. Even though I know in my head that I couldn't hold his hand like I did when I was a child, it was still just as comforting. "Tig." I said matter of factly

He chuckled slightly but didn't look surprised. "What's happened?"

"He showed up at my door, hurt and I helped him but then we started talking and Gemma came and I…I….I don't know what to do anymore daddy. I love Derek and I was happy and then he came back and now I don't know what to do. I miss him but I'm not sure if I want to go back to that and I miss Gem and Jax and Juice and all of them what should I do. I need you."

"Well I'm right here now baby. I can't say much about the situation with Tig because that is not my place to decide what is right or wrong. But remember you go back to him and you either accept the life you lived in or you come to some agreement to make it better, to change what was bothering you the last time. If you go back there is no turning back. Tig may be a big boy and is probably stronger than most of those boys but even I know he loved you and it broke him when you left," he started to give me advice and I looked down shocked at how he would know how Tig was feeling but he cut me off, "I may be a one eyed man behind bars Victoria but I'm still kept in the loop and people still do come to see me. When I found out about the separation I demanded to see Tig and I didn't even need to ask to know what happened. But Victoria whether or not you choose to leave Derek and go to Tig everyone there is your family. They always have been, you may be out on your own but you are and never were alone. They miss you, every time I see one of them they are always questions about you. And if you miss them maybe it's time to follow the trail home. Even if it's baby steps? No one says you have to go straight to the garage start out by going for Gems suppers or go out with some of the boys. But before you make that decision, you need to make sure Derek is prepared for that or else you can't come back with him."

I knew he was right. He always knew what to say to me unlike my mom. He and Gemma were always the people I could talk to when I couldn't talk to anyone else. I could feel the tears brimming my eyes and start to fall down my cheeks, "I'm scared."

"Oh baby don't do that. Don't cry you know I can't stand to see you cry. You don't have anything to be scared about just make sure that you are a hundred percent certain that you want to go back. I don't think you will regret it. Remember what I use to tell you when you were scared." He comforted me while his other hand whipped my tear away

I could feel the smile spread across my face as I quoted his favorite saying. "A dim star will barely shine when the world is falling apart, when the world around them is growing darker and darker and their helpless to stop it. But a strong star will shine through all the ciaos, all the hurt and all the pain because that star will bring all the happiness to all the dim stars around it. Which in turn will bring the other stars back to life once again and push that darkness away."

His smile grew and he asked, "And who is that star."

"Me."

"Exactly you will always shine brighter than any other person out there. That's what attracts people to you. You have no reason to be scared baby anything you have been through, any normal person would have crumbled from. You stood strong and proud. So go be that star I know you can be and bring life back to the boys, they could need it. You need it."

I couldn't help but smile at what my dad was saying because it was the truth and I think he knew that to "Thank you daddy."

He nodded and smile at me one more time before he called to the guard, "I'm going to hug my daughter now?" My dad asked, standing up to meet me

The guard nodded and he enveloped me in his arms in an embrace. "I love you."

"Me to daddy."

With that I left, knowing exactly who I need to see next. As soon as I got in my car I reached for my phone and dialed the number I memorized by heart, "Hello?" an irritated voice answered

"Hi Gem."

"Victoria?"

"Yeah. Hey I know this is kind of sudden and out of the blue but, I want to come back or try to at least. Can we meet for coffee talk about this some more?"

"Sure baby. I'm just going to go tell Clay and I'll pick up the coffee and meet you at the park?"

"And I'll grab the chocolate croissants." I smiled at the tradition we came up with.

After a quick goodbye I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe this is exactly what I was seeking. My dad was right I needed this and as it stands, I pushed Tig out of my head. For the moment I didn't need to worry about him, I had Derek after all. I would just learn to deal with it, or at least the part I didn't want to remember of my dad's conversation.