3
He takes a small sip from his glass of vodka, trying his very best not to down the whole goddamn thing. One glass cost him like, a fucking head and he's already bought two so he's trying to stretch the whole thing for the rest of the night. It's getting pretty hard though because Natsu's being an ass, Lucy keeps scolding Natsu for being an ass, Carla's whining, Erza's being really scary and Gray keeps on ranting about how Lyon's being a total skeeve, taking advantage of Juvia like that, and how he's doing everything all wrong. The only person who's being relatively tolerable right now is Wendy (and okay, maybe he's being a bit biased but whatever).
He seriously needs a beer right now.
(But he can't get one because apparently Maceo's is too fucking fancy for beer.)
The only consolation he has is that Juvia and Lyon genuinely seem to be enjoying themselves. They've talked mostly about their respective guilds and the jobs they've done—its just small talk but it isn't awkward or stilted and Juvia seems to have relaxed enough to not duck her head or break out into a furious blush. In fact, it almost seems as if Lyon and Juvia are close friends who have known each other for years.
Gray, though, is becoming more and more agitated by the second, which is really weird because even though he freaks out every once in a while, he usually manages to keep his emotions in check. Gajeel lightly punches him on the arm and says, "Oi! Stripper! Aren't you going to go now? You got what you came for."
"What are you talking about?" Gray irately demands as he takes a bite from his cheese. A waiter came awhile ago to ask for their orders and the only thing they could afford was the cheese platter and a small plate of bolognese pasta. Natsu ate the whole pasta plate and Lucy and Erza retaliated by whacking him on the head—now they're all just stuck with the stupid cheese platter, which really isn't all that good.
"That's the reason why you're here, right? To look out for Juvia? To make sure that Lyon isn't taking advantage of her?" Gajeel crosses his arms and raises a brow. "Well, it's pretty obvious that Juvia's doing fine and that Lyon isn't trying to take advantage of her. So all of you can leave now."
"We still don't have conclusive proof," Gray stiffly says.
"Look at them! They're laughing together! And talking about guppies or some shit! How is that not conclusive proof?"
"Lyon still could've manipulated Juvia into going out with him. I wouldn't put it past that bastard to do something like that," he replies, his fingers clenching.
"Does it look as if she was manipulated into coming here? It's pretty obvious that she's here because she wants to be here," Gajeel pointedly says.
And okay fine, maybe it's not exactly true because Lyon did technically manipulate Juvia into going out with him (with Gajeel's help) but it doesn't really matter does it? Juvia basically said yes anyways, out of her own free will and it's not as if he and Lyon hogtied her and wouldn't let her go until she said it. They just secretly prodded her into giving the answer they wanted, which isn't exactly, technically manipulating. So there.
"I still don't buy it. Something's not right, I can feel it," Gray mutters as he absentmindedly toys with a wedge of cheese.
"What's with you?"
"What?"
"Why the fuck are you so determined for this date to go wrong?"
"That's not what I want!" Gray defensively sputters.
"You're eavesdropping on their conversation and you won't leave them alone!" A realization suddenly dawns on Gajeel. "I can't believe you."
"What?"
"You're mad that for once. Juvia actually isn't paying attention to you!"
"What!? No!" Gray snaps.
"You're a sick bastard, you know that? You just like stringing her along don't you? You like having all the attention she gives you, don't you? And the moment she finds someone else, you try and ruin it for her! " His voice is becoming more and more impassioned with every word. He's feeling extremely angry because Gray has no right, no right at all to act this way. Gajeel's not exactly a model friend, but damn it, he tries and he cares and this is one of the things that he absolutely cannot just take lying down. "Is she supposed to pine after you? She deserves to be happy and she deserves a chance at an actual relationship!"
"What...I'm not...I would never..." Gray mumbles, his words stumbling against each other as he tries to articulate what he's saying.
A flash of light suddenly envelops Erza and she emerges a millisecond later, with a sword clasped in her hand. She points it at Gajeel and growls, "I don't like the way you're talking to Gray!"
"Well...it's true," Gajeel mumbles as he tries to edge away from Erza. (He's not afraid of her, okay? He's just hyper-aware of how pointy her sword is.)
"I'm not...I'm not stringing...I'm not trying to...I'm not like that!" Gray says, his cheeks tainting red.
"Seems to me like you are."
"We're all just concerned for Juvia," Erza says. She narrows her eyes against Gajeel's. "Your comments were completely uncalled for. Apologize!"
"I will not!" Gajeel snaps, though he's starting to feel a little queasy at how close her blade is to his throat, even if he won't admit it.
"Apologize or I will run this blade right through you!"
"Don't threaten me!"
"I don't need you to defend me, Erza!" Gray mumbles.
Erza rounds up on him with furious eyes. "I'm trying to defend your honor and this is how you repay me!?"
Gray hastily shakes his head. "No, of course not—''
"Put that sword away, will you? They're going to see us!" Gajeel hisses in panic. They're at a portion in the restaurant that's mostly obscured by statues and fountains but they've still got a good view of Lyon and Juvia. Gajeel knows that the two won't see them unless they look really close or turn their heads towards a specific direction but he still doesn't want to risk it.
Erza haughtily lifts her chin up. "Don't tell me what to do—''
"Guys!" Lucy interjects.
"What!?" they say, annoyed at being interrupted.
Lucy gives them this small pout as she folds her arms. "I'm just trying to redirect your focus back at the situation on hand. We're supposed to be spying on Juvia and Lyon, remember?"
Gray's cheeks turn into an even darker shade of red. "We're not spying on them! We're looking out for Juvia!"
"Anyways," Lucy says, ignoring Gray's comment. She excitedly gestures at the speaker. "Even though I still say we should our own business—''
Gajeel sighs and emphatically says, "That's what I've been trying to say—''
"—I think you guys should know that Juvia and Lyon are hitting it off!" Lucy finishes.
"What!?" Gray says, an unreadable expression on his face. It looks a little bit like panic but Gajeel can't really tell.
"It's true Gray-san. Right now, Lyon's speaking to Juvia in French!" Wendy says as she folds her hands below her chin and gives a slightly dreamy look. "It's so romantic."
"Romantic?" Gray says, his voice lined with slight outrage.
"Shh!" Erza hisses as she leans in closer towards the speaker.
"Tu es tres belle," Lyon's voice cackles over the speaker. From where they are sitting, they can see Lyon leaning forward and lightly touching Juvia's wrist.
Juvia flushes and she replies, "Merci."
"French? Lyon speaks French?" Gray says in equal parts of dismay and disbelief.
"Je ne savais pas que tu parlais français," Juvia continues, a vaguely impressed look in her eyes.
"J'étudie le français depuis trois ans," Lyon says, a slightly smug smile on his lips.
"Ouah !" Juvia says with a small laugh, looking clearly delighted.
"What? What are they saying?" Gray frantically says as he turns to look at Lucy.
"Juvia asked Lyon about how he knows how to speak French and he replied that he's been studying for three years," Lucy quickly translates.
Gray slumps in his seat, a despondent look on his face. "Lyon was always the more cultured one between the two of us..."
"I'm sure that it won't matter to Juvia or not if you speak French, Gray-san," Wendy kindly tells him.
"Still doesn't stop the bastard from being better than me at something. Yet again," Gray mutters. Gajeel frowns at him, a bit confused with Gray's comment. Yeah, Lyon was better at him than a lot of things but he thought that Gray seemed pretty confident despite that and it never really seemed to bother him.
"This is unacceptable. Juvia is falling for all of Lyon's tricks," Erza says as she slams a fist against the table. "We must do something!"
"Can't we just go home now? I'm bored and you guys won't let me eat any of the cheese," Natsu whines, completely missing the point of the conversation.
"We can't leave yet because we haven't finished what we came for!" Erza thunders, giving Natsu an acidic look.
"Which is?"
"To sabotage Lyon and Juvia's date," Erza says in a matter of fact voice.
"What? Sabotage?" Gajeel says in alarm.
"You're taking this way too seriously," Happy comments.
"I agree. I refuse to participate in whatever debauchery you have planned," Carla interjects.
"I cannot allow Juvia to fall for Lyon when she is obviously meant for Gray," Erza declares, a completely serious expression on her face.
Gray flushes and defensively protests, "Now wait a minute, Juvia and I aren't—''
"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Natsu says, standing up and pulling Lucy along with him.
"Hey! What-What are you doing?" Lucy demands as Natsu cracks his knuckles before dragging her off somewhere.
"Sabotage," Natsu evilly says.
Fuck, no.
Gajeel gets up and tries to follow them, his stomach heaving with nerves. He doesn't like the look on Natsu's face and he just knows that some awful shit is about to happen. Natsu and Lucy are darting past the waiters and the stupid marble statues and fountains, having at least the good sense to make sure that Juvia and Lyon don't see them. Lucy keeps trying to protest but as they continue walking, she starts quieting herself, a resigned look on her face. Gajeel tries to catch up with them as best as he can but he's having a really hard time doing so, since waiters keep stopping him and asking him if he needs anything at every goddamn turn. When he finally gets a good view of them, he pales.
Natsu has somehow managed to procure a hat for himself, a ridiculously heavy feather boa for Lucy and a pair of sunglasses for both of them. Natsu is tucking all his pink hair into the hat while Lucy trying to wrap the boa around her neck, obscuring a good portion of her face.
"What the fuck?" Gajeel hisses.
Natsu perches the sunglasses on his nose and gives him a thumbs up. He takes Lucy by the hand and quickly pulls her forward, towards Lyon and Juvia 's table.
Fuck.
Those idiots.
Do they actually think that Juvia and Lyon are stupid enough to fall for their disguises?
He makes a move to step forward but he stops himself at the last minute, because unlike Natsu and Lucy, he doesn't have any disguise. Juvia's bound to notice him if he moves a little too close. He's whipping his head around, trying to figure out a way to stop whatever it is that Natsu and Lucy are planning on doing but nothing comes.
The two of them are slowly ambling towards the table, hands linked, ridiculous grins plastered on their faces. They're talking with each other too although he can't hear what they're saying. All he knows is that they're doing it with the most ridiculous accents.
A waiter carrying a hot bowl of soup is heading from the opposite direction.
Gajeel's eyes widen when he realizes what they are planning to do.
Lyon says something to Juvia, leans forward and makes a move to take her hand. Juvia smiles at him but a slight look of nervousness passes over her face.
Before Lyon can grasp Juvia's hand however, Natsu and Lucy crash into the waiter carrying the soup, causing him to drop all of it contents on Juvia's lap.
"Fuck!" Lyon snaps as some of the hot soup scalds his hands.
"Lyon-sama! Are you alright!?" Juvia says, concerned.
"Yes, yes! I'm fine. But what about you? Oh no, the soup has spilled all over your dress," Lyon says.
Juvia gives a breezy smile. "Juvia is fine. And it only spilled on the front."
"You idiot!" Lyon snarls, directing his anger at the waiter who's busily bowing and proffering apologies. Lucy and Natsu are slowly starting to edge away, trying to be discreet as possible as they discard the feather boa, hat and sunglasses. "How can you be so clumsy!"
"I'm so sorry! It was an accident!" the waiter pleadingly says. "This couple crashed into me and..."
He turns to side and sees that Natsu and Lucy have completely disappeared.
"What couple?" Lyon demands. He balls his fists up and makes a move to stand. "Accident? Don't make excuses! You've ruined Juvia's dress and you could've seriously hurt her—''
"Lyon-sama, please don't talk to him that way! It was only an accident! Juvia is sure he didn't mean it," Juvia calmly says as she places a hand on his chest and tries to force him to sit down.
"I'm going to be speaking with your manager about this!''
"Juvia is fine, Lyon-sama. Please don't be angry," she soothingly tells him. She looks a little annoyed though and Gajeel can tell that having hot soup dropped on her lap has slightly irritated her. But she's polite, almost too polite to a fault, so he knows that she'll act all gracious about it and not cause a scene. "And anyways, it's not a big deal. Juvia will just go to the comfort room and dab at it with tissues."
"But Juvia—''
"It's fine, Lyon-sama," she says, her eyes hardening and her voice taking on a firm, rough edge. Lyon swallows and gives her a small sheepish smile as he hastily nods his head.
"Of course, Juvia-chan."
"Great." She stands up, faces the waiter and kindly tells him, "It's alright. We won't tell your manager."
Then, she turns to Lyon and tucks a few stray tendrils of hair behind her ear. "Juvia will just go to the comfort room for a while, Lyon-sama. She won't be gone long."
As she walks away, Lyon slumps in his seat and moans, his hands carding through his hair in frustration.
Gajeel just pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters, "Great. The appetizer hasn't even been served yet and already those assholes have managed to ruined their dinner."
"What the fuck did you just do!?" Gray hisses as soon as Natsu and Lucy return to the table. Gajeel's trailing behind them but he's too busy trying to figure out a way to salvage this situation before it gets completely out of hand. Natsu or Erza might do something else and he wants to make sure that he'll stop them before they can try.
"Sabotage," Natsu says as he lifts his shoulders in a small shrug. He pulls up a chair and gestures at Lucy to sit down before taking a seat himself. He gives Lucy an impish grin and says in a faux-cowboy accent, "We didn't mean to do it now, did we darlin'?"
"No, of course not love," Lucy says in a fake British accent. Gajeel raises his brows at her because it's pretty weird that she's doing a British accent when Natsu's doing a cowboy one.
Lucy catches his look and says, "What? British accents are cooler. And I refuse to do something as hokey as a cowboy accent."
"Cowboy accents aren't hokey!" Natsu protests.
"Yes, they are—''
"Idiots!" Gray snaps. There's an intense, angry look in his eyes and his fingers are balled into fists. Lucy's eyes go all wide and she shrinks back a little as Gray angrily shakes. "That was hot soup you got the waiter to spill on her! Hot soup! She could've been seriously hurt!"
Lucy flinches before defensively saying, "I didn't want to do it but Natsu made me."
Natsu rolls his eyes and dismissively waves his hand, "Relax, ice princess. Of course the soup wouldn't hurt her. She's made out of water and she's been boiling before. Literally. Me and Luce—''
"Don't drag me into this," Lucy savagely interjects.
"—knew that she could take it," Natsu finishes.
"But still," Gray insistently says, the worried look never leaving his eyes. Gajeel gives him a small look because it's a little weird that he's so concerned and protective about Juvia. He thinks that it's the first time he's ever seen Gray actually caring about her and stuff, more than what a regular friend should at least. Well, what he means is that, he's Juvia's friend and he's not freaking out about her being splashed with hot soup.
(What? She's badass. She can take it.)
"I think you're overreacting. I'm sure that the soup wasn't even that hot," Erza calmly interjects.
"It was steaming!" Gray says.
"If someone dropped hot soup on me, I wouldn't even flinch," Erza continues as she twirls her martini in her hand.
"That's because you're incapable of flinching! Nothing literally ever hurts you!" Gray retorts.
"Stop whining, Droopy Eyes! We got the job done didn't we?" Natsu says.
"I didn't ask you to do anything!"
"So you didn't want us to keep Lyon from holding her hand?"
Gray momentarily pauses from his growing tirade and says, "Lyon was about to hold her hand?"
"Damn right, he was!"
Gray scowls and quickly remembers their entire argument. He folds his arms and snaps, "Still doesn't change the fact that you practically scalded her!"
"I didn't 'scald' her! The waiter did!"
"But you made the waiter trip!"
"Only so Lucy and I could help you! Because apparently you're not man enough to keep your woman!"
Gray's eyes widen and it takes him a few minutes before he manages to sputter out a response, "Juvia is not my woman!"
Natsu's brows pull together in confusion. "Wait—what? So if she isn't your woman, then what the hell are you doing here?"
"That's the question I've been asking since the beginning," Carla mutters in annoyance.
"It's because Gray liiiiiikes her," Happy says in a sing-song voice.
Everybody ignores Happy.
"You know what! Stop trying to divert the topic!" Gray says, in a last ditch effort to avoid answering Natsu's question.
"I don't get why you're being such a prick! You should be thanking me!"
"I don't need to thank you for anything!"
"You wanna go Popsicle Breath?"
"I'll go right now, Flame Brain—''
"Gajeel, what are you doing here?" a solemn, deep voice suddenly cuts through their argument. Gajeel pales when he realizes who it is—he looks up and sees Pantherlily marching towards him, a suspicious look on his face. Gajeel opens his mouth to respond but then he sees Cana and Levy walking from behind Pantherlily and his brain just fucking shuts down.
Shit.
Shit.
What the fuck is with all these people?
"Gajeel," Levy says, an accusatory look in her eyes. She's wearing this amazing yellow dress with skinny straps that really shows off her ass (What? He's got eyes. He's not blind. And he's allowed to look. And appreciate.) and her petite figure. "What are you doing here? You said that the reason why you couldn't help me unpack some of my books was because you had to go on a secret mission for the master."
"Oh well...ugh..."
"This doesn't seem to be the sort of place for a secret mission," Pantherlily says as he folds his tiny little arms.
Gajeel looks away because if there's one thing he's learned over the past few years, it's that he can never, ever look at Pantherlily in the eye and actually, lie—he ends up breaking eventually. Pantherlily will look at him with this stern, no-nonsense, no-time-for-bullshit expression and Gajeel just ends up spitting everything out. He swears that the cat has like, a magical pair of eyes or something. It's super annoying.
"Well, what are you, Shrimp and Cana doing here?" Gajeel counters, trying to avoid the question.
Cana gestures at one of the waiters to pull more chairs in the table before placing a hand on Gray's shoulder and saying, "We could say the same thing for you. We're just here to see if the date goes well and if Lyon will actually manage to win Juvia over."
"Why would you want to know that?" Gray demands.
"The whole guild's making bets if whether Juvia will end up liking Lyon after their date. Me and Levy are just here to see the results so that we can go back and tell everyone," Cana breezily says as she grabs the chair the waiter hands to her.
"I'm just here because Gajeel cancelled on our plans and I had nothing to do," Levy pointedly says as she glares at Gajeel.
"How the fuck do all of you know about Lyon and Juvia's date anyway?" Gajeel demands, still trying to avoid Levy and Pantherlily's questioning gaze. Gajeel made sure to tell Lyon that he shouldn't, under any circumstances, tell anyone about the date. Not even his stupid friends from his lame-ass guild.
"Are you kidding me? Everybody knows about it. It's the talk of the town!" Cana enthusiastically says as she starts rifling through the menu. "Hey, is there any beer in here?"
"I can't believe you're making this whole affair into a bet," Gray says, completely incensed.
"I agree. Relationships are not things to be taken lightly," Erza says, as she crosses her legs and laces her fingers on top of her knees.
"What's the big deal? It's just for fun. Besides, everyone in the guild can see that you've got it so bad for her. They think you're finally going to snap by tonight and ask her out. Unless of course, Lyon manages to impress her," Cana blithely says. She gives Gray a wicked, little look. "What's the matter, Gray? Are you scared that Juvia's gonna pick Lyon and go on a second date with him by the end of the night?"
"No!" Gray quickly says.
"Then why are you guys here, huh?" Cana slyly asks as she tries to hide the smirk on her face. Then, a thought suddenly comes to her and she leans forward and stabs Gray's chest with her finger. "Oi, oi! You guys better not be here because you plan on sabotaging their date or something!"
Natsu gives an impish grin and gives a thumbs up. "We already did—''
Gray punches him on the ribs before he can continue and quickly says, "We're not here because we're looking to sabotage Lyon and Juvia's date! We're here because we're trying to look out for her!"
"Sure. Whatever Gray," Cana disbelievingly says.
"Forgive me for asking but why would you need to do that? Juvia is a grown woman, yes?" Pantherlily says. "She certainly doesn't need a keeper. Or keepers, for that matter."
"Well...she is...but we're her friends and..." Gray says as he tries to keep himself from stuttering. "It doesn't matter! You guys shouldn't be here!"
"We have every right to be here," Cana says as she picks up one of the cheese wedges from the plate. "It's a free country."
"Don't worry Gray. I bet on you, if that makes you feel better," Levy comfortingly tells him.
"Well, I didn't," Cana snorts.
Everyone stares at her.
She gives all of them a blank look. "What? Lyon is hot."
"And I'm not?" Gray asks in offense.
"Guys? I think you should keep it down. I think Lyon-san knows that something is up," Wendy interjects.
"You know, you still haven't answered our question, Gajeel," Pantherlily comments.
"Yeah, Gajeel," Levy says as she folds her arms and gives him a stern look. Gray tears his attention away from Cana and looks at him, an intensely suspicious expression etched on his face.
"Er..." Gajeel nervously swallows.
"Juvia's back!" Lucy announces.
Everyone immediately crowds around the speaker. Gajeel breathes a sigh of relief, happy to be safe for now. He knows that Pantherlily won't let it go and that he may have offended Levy or whatever for cancelling their thing so that he can check up on Juvia and Lyon but at least everyone's more interested in listening to the speaker. It's probably not going to last long but at least he can buy himself some time so that he can think up of a reasonable excuse.
"Oh man, you guys even bought a speaker!" Cana says, a delighted look on her face. She steals Gajeel's glass of wine and downs everything else in it in one gulp before shooting everyone impish smirks. "This is going to be so much fun."