In the Aftermath
Head + Heart Series, Part Three
Sequel to lonely (too long)

The gleaming stars all about the shining moon
Hide their bright faces, when full-orbed and splendid
In the sky she floats, flooding the shadowed earth
with clear silver light.

- Sappho

Chapter Three

"He was a man who wore a lot of hats, a lot of egos and emotions he would juggle. But Alan was a master because there was one thing that he could do better than anybody and that he understood better than anybody and that was the complexities of love."

The complexities of love.

There was no one on earth who understood the complexities of love better than Alan, Jason thought to himself as he stood on the docks, watching the gentle lapping of the waves. Or better than any of the Quartermaines, really.

Ned was speaking from experience when he spoke those words. He knew, just like the rest of the Quartermaines, including Jason, how complex love could be, especially the love between family. Jason had never understood why, despite everything that had happened, he had always felt something for each of his family members. Even though they often drove him to his breaking point, he still cared, loved them. His parents, his grandparents, Emily, all of them.

Even AJ.

Someone, he couldn't remember who, had said that to hate someone you know you have to love them in equal parts. And he hated AJ as much as he loved him, but to what degree he didn't know.

"Jason?" A soft voice called out to him.

Turning around Jason spotted Carly standing at the base of the stairs, one hand still resting on the railing, a concerned look in her eyes. Giving her a small smile and a slight nod, she moved toward him and looped her arm through his. Taking in her familiar presence, he leaned against her slightly and returned his gaze to the water.

"How are you doing," she asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm fine," he replied.

Nodding slightly she rested her head against his shoulder and said, "I still can't believe he's gone."

Neither can I, Jason thought to himself.

"Michael's asking a lot of questions about him," Carly admitted. There was a guilty but also uncertain tinge to her voice, it was a tone Jason rarely heard but one that he knew meant she was feeling very deeply guilty. He also knew that she wouldn't accept comfort from anyone when she was feeling this way. No Carly would try to find a way to make it right, even if it was too late. Her next sentence made it clear that she had already come up with a plan. "Maybe you could talk to him about Alan," she suggested.

Jason stilled. Yes, he could talk to Michael about Alan but he wouldn't have much to offer him and he told this to Carly.

Carly nodded her head again and he could tell she was deep in thought. Suddenly her grip on his arm tightened slightly in excitement and lifting her head from his shoulder she turned and made a second suggestion.

"Then maybe you could take him to Monica and Emily, I bet they've got plenty of stories to tell him," she said before adding, "and you."

Jason remained quiet for a moment as he thought about her suggestion. "I think that's a great idea, Carly," he told her, looking down at her.

Carly smiled at the sincerity in his eyes and she knew that in some small way she had helped him. Throwing her arms around his neck she hugged him tightly.

Jason returned her embrace and caught sight of Georgie who had just rounded the corner. Catching her eye he gave her a small smile that she returned. Giving him a light wave she slipped away leaving the pair of friends alone.

Pulling away from him, Carly looked up at Jason and said, "come on, let's go to the hotel, have a drink or something to eat. Or both."

Knowing that Carly wouldn't take no for an answer, Jason allowed her to pull him up the stairs and to the hotel.

Two hours later the pair finally parted company. Carly had done most of the talking, keeping the conversation light but never purposefully avoiding Alan's death. Between her conversation and the food and beer she'd given him before sending him off with a hug, Jason felt more like himself.

But a part of him still felt like something was missing.

He had thought about going back to his apartment after leaving Carly, needing solitude, but instead he found himself standing outside of Kelly's. Glancing in through the window he saw Georgie talking with Bobbie at the counter amidst the dinner rush. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he checked the time. It was a little after six. Confused Jason slid his phone back into his pocket and looked back up, just in time to see Georgie grab her purse and give one of the other waitresses a small squeeze on the arm before making her way to the exit.

Stepping to the side Jason waited for her just outside the door but not in any direct line of vision. The bell rang and Georgie stepped out into the early March air.

"Georgie," he called out to her quietly.

Gasping Georgie spun around and laughed when she saw him. "Jason! You startled me!"

Smiling at her laughter he apologized, which she shrugged off. Moving toward him, he watched as she quickly appraised him before asking how he was holding up.

"I'm good," he replied honestly. "I've been getting a lot of support, so that's helped," he admitted.

Georgie nodded and said, "yeah, I saw you with Carly." Georgie paused for a moment, her expression becoming thoughtful before she continued. "Maxie reminds me a little of Carly and Maxie always has my back. Carly must do the same for you."

"And me for her," Jason added, with a short nod. "Did you just get off?" Jason asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah," Georgie answered, bringing her hand up to her neck to rub out a sore spot.

"I thought you were working the early shift?"

"This week, yeah I am, but one of the other waitresses called to say she was going to be a little late, so I agreed to stay until she could come," she explained.

"Are you going to head home now?" Jason asked, though he felt like the answer was obvious.

"Yeah," Georgie answered before asking Jason, "what about you?"

"I was think about it," he said.

"But..." Georgie added.

Jason shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know where I want to go," he admitted.

Georgie bit her bottom lip and twisting her purse strap she said, "I think, well I know about a spot..." Trailing off she tried to gauge his interest before continuing. "I know a spot and if you want I can take you there," she finished in a rush.

"Okay," was Jason simple reply. "Lead the way."

Leading Jason to her car, she unlocked the vehicle and slid into the driver's seat. Jason could tell that she was slightly nervous and asked her why. Georgie gave a noncommittal shrug and instead focused on her driving.

Very quickly they were exiting the city and on a darkening country road, lined with farms that eventually gave way to dense forest. Thirty minutes later Georgie was pulling off onto a dirt drive with her headlights on bright. Driving slowly, she came to a stop and unbuckling his seat belt Jason kept his gaze fixed on the building in front of the car.

Georgie shut off the engine but kept the headlights on and getting out of the car Jason could feel Georgie's eyes on him as he took in the old, crumbling lighthouse and attached home. The lighthouse was square in shape and built out of a brownish colored brick. It stood almost three stories high and probably did once upon a now but now it was partially collapsed. The house was made from the same brick and stood two stories, and was raised slightly from the ground. A set of stairs led up to a door that had been boarded over. Almost all of the windows were boarded up, only a handful were missing. Turning his questioning gaze on Georgie he asked her where they were.

Pointing out past the house she said, "the Port Charles River used to run past this place, about fifteen feet from here, until it was diverted in 1841. There's a little creek, but it usually dries up in the winter. The Port Charles River has always been wide and they built a series of lighthouses along the way. When they diverted the river, the lighthouses were abandoned, some torn down to make way for farms, others like this one were left to fall down on their own," she explained, a sorrowful tone to her voice.

Moving away from the car and toward the lighthouse Jason asked, "how did you find out about it?"

Following closely behind him she answered, "in high school we had to do a paper on a local history topic and after some research I found out about these lighthouses. It took me a bit to find one still standing and once I did I kind of became a little obsessed," she admitted.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Jason asked, peaking in through one of the high windows.

"No," she started, then amended her statement with a quick shake of her head. "Well the State of New York does since it's government property," she said before reluctantly admitting, "we're technically trespassing."

Jason turned to look at her and noted the sheepish look on her face and gave her a look that asked if she thought he was seriously worried about that. It took her a moment before realization dawned on her face and she turned away, embarrassed. He was considered a professional criminal, a little trespassing wasn't something that worried him.

Clearing her throat she added, "Lila also knew about it, but obviously she never came out here."

"Grandmother knew?" This surprised him and he gazed at her expectantly.

"Well, like I said I became a little obsessed with this place and once school ended for the year I made it my summer project to see it restored," she explained, gazing up at the house in a way that Jason might almost call lovingly. "First I contacted the New York Park's Department, and when that didn't work I wrote to our State Reps, but neither of them cared. The building didn't have any significant historical value, they said. And there are already three other lighthouses on the river in better condition and with stories behind them. So when that didn't work I went to Lila. I knew she was a member of the Port Charles Historical Society and I thought she might be able to help me and she tried," Georgie told him. "She really tried."

"What happened?" Jason asked looking back at the building, taking in the roofless house and the partially collapsed tower.

Defeated, Georgie's shoulders slumped and she said, "they couldn't get the funding. The old Turner House needed repairs, and because President Harrison stayed in the house, for one night," she emphasized emphatically, almost as if she were trying to argue the lighthouse's case to Jason, and finished bitterly, "that project received the money."

"I'm sorry," Jason said, realizing how much this place meant to her.

"You win some, you lose some," she said nonchalantly, but Jason could still hear the disappointment in her voice.

They stood, side by side, silently for a moment before Jason asked, "have you ever been inside?"

"No," she answered immediately.

"Why not?"

"Because, whenever I come out here I come alone," she said, pausing before adding, "until now, of course. I was always worried that I might get hurt and no one would know where I was and I would die out here and twenty years later they would find bones and have to identify me using dental records."

Jason raised an eyebrow at her list of fears and she shrugged in response.

"I prefer to play it safe," she replied unapologetically.

"Well I'm here," Jason pointed out.

Looking up at him in surprise she said with a hint of excitement to her voice, "you want to go in?"

Jason nodded his head and countered, "don't you?"

"Yes, maybe, but how?"

"Do you have a tire iron and a flashlight?" He asked. And surprising both of them Georgie didn't ask him why, instead she immediately went to her car and opened the trunk. Pulling out the items she made her way back to Jason and handed them to him. Jason opened his mouth to speak but Georgie beat him to the punch.

"Don't ask me if I'm sure, if you do I know I'll back out," she said in one excited breath.

Amused Jason turned the flashlight on and handed it back to her, beckoning her to follow him. Climbing the solid stone stairs he instructed her to hold the flashlight and using the tire iron he pried the boards from the door. When that was done he tested the doorknob and found it was unlocked. Handing her the tool he took the flashlight from her as she tossed the tire iron to the ground.

Telling her to stay where she was he opened the door and cast the beam from the flashlight around the room. It was empty. He was just about to step forward to make sure it was safe when Georgie suddenly gripped his arm, effectively stopping him from moving.

"Jason," she said, pointing at a spot just inside the doorway.

Looking down Jason realized that four boards were missing from the floor just inside the door, creating a gap. Had he stepped forward he would have fallen about three or four feet, maybe more. Assessing the situation Jason realized that while he could easily step across the hole in the floor, Georgie would have to jump, and not knowing how the boards on the other side would hold up he was reluctant to let her try.

Sensing his thoughts, Georgie sighed and said, "I guess we've reached the end of the road."

Shaking his head he told her to wait and shoving the flashlight into his back pocket he carefully straddled the gap. Satisfied with the stability he urged her to come forward. Settling his hands on her waist he gently lifted her up and across the gap at the threshold, joining her once she was safely on the other side.

They made their way slowly through the five rooms that made up the ground floor of the house, both having agreed not to try and go upstairs. Exploring every nook and cranny with Jason leading the way. Each time he completed a full sweep with the flashlight in everyone room they entered to ensure that none of the floorboards were missing and that the room was safe. The last room they came to, which was connected to the lighthouse itself, was the kitchen, and like the rest of the rooms it was empty with the exception of fallen boards and an old iron wood burning stove, which sat in the middle of the room. Pushing past Jason, Georgie made her way over to the stove.

"Georgie," Jason called out.

"It's fine," she said, "If it can hold this thing it can certainly hold me."

Jason watched as she ran her hand over the surface, uncaring about the dust, dirt and grime that attached itself to her fingertips. A small smile played on her face and Jason wanted to ask her what she was thinking about but knew that if she wanted to tell him she would. But she didn't, instead she shook her head, seemingly to rid herself of her current thoughts and turned her attention back to him.

"Should we?" She asked indicating to the closed door to the lighthouse.

Nodding Jason joined her at the door and letting her open it he did a quick sweep before allowing her in, following closely behind. Stepping into the center of the tower, past the broken boards littering the floor, Jason came to a halt behind Georgie, who stood looking up.

Flicking off the flashlight and turning his gaze upwards too, Jason took in the sight of the clear night sky above them and the sheer number of stars. Georgie reached back and found his hand, taking it in her own and Jason moved his other hand to rest gently at her waist.

For a minute it felt like time stood still.

He had never experienced anything like that minute, losing all sense of time, place and person. It would have been disorienting if it weren't for Georgie's hand grasping his, keeping him grounded.

Placing a kiss on the top of the back of Georgie's head he broke the silence that surrounded them.

"Thank you, thank you for sharing this with me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You're welcome," she replied, her voice no louder than his.

And saying no more they both stood for a long time staring up into the endless night sky.