Ode to Akua

Disclaimer: I do not own Rosario Vampire or any part of its franchise.

Enjoy:

Now comes the story of the infamous Black Devil;

The one most consider to be absolutely evil.

In truth, she holds a great love for her sister;

If only that could compensate for her being a killer.

She can shift and cross into a different dimension;

Handy if you were to get lost in the family mansion.

She neither sobs, screams nor shouts when on a job;

Yet the same can't be said for poor old dead Bob.

He made the very sad mistake of crossing the Miao;

Which he later came to regret as he yelled out: "NO!"

Having been found with his chest utterly ripped apart;

I guess you could say she was a woman after his own heart.

Though she can't be considered to be a candidate for flirtation;

Since it would probably impede on her sisterly fixation.

She might whine and complain saying only she understands her;

There is very little chance that would hold up against a lawyer.

As we are on the subject, I would like you to consider;

What hasn't poor Moka put out a restraining order?

But enough of that lighthearted commentary;

Let's get on back to a topic that is truly scary.

Just when you think you've seen her every trick and ability;

She cuts off Alucard's arm and makes us consider she might be crazy.

You don't even she her flinch and that is indeed very admirable;

If it were me, I would lose it because the thought of dying would be unbearable.

There is a chance she would scoff in the face of certain doom;

Good thing she isn't married or I would pity the unlucky groom.

Could you imagine living with someone like her, very proud and it's no act;

Constantly watching your back while expecting a karate chop love tap.

Fearing for your life day in and day out;

Dreading the time when comes lights out.

No man in his right mind could possibly endure her wild mood swings;

Therefore I propose we throw Tsukune in to try and change things.

Odds are he would die quite slowly and agonizingly.

But I have faith in the boy so I know he won't fail pathetically.

Or perhaps that is simply a pretense to satisfy a fantasy;

However if anyone asks, I would say it was his destiny.

To lose a body part because it might fill her with glee?

No sir, not at all, at worst he would take an arrow to the knee.

I resent such a baseless accusation and insulting provocation;

Fine, I'll admit at this point it would surely be an acute observation.

Yet to think that I have it out for him by putting him with Akua instead of another lady;

Would be false considering I could have thrown him in with dear old, or young, Yukari.

The thought alone makes me cringe so I do hope and pray;

That I'll never witness such a fanfic that would make me scream: "Nay!"

For all you Yukari fans, I do say sorry and please do not take me seriously;

After all, I really don't want to die and make my apartment messy.

In any case, those are my opinions and I'm sticking to my guns:

Akua rules is the basic lesson to be learned from this series of bad puns.

Up next will come the ode to the youngest of the Shuzen sisters;

One who puts to shame almost all other fighters.