"There's Still Something Missing, Anko"

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." -Woody Allen

"It's not going to happen," the crimson-eyed woman said simply, sipping her coffee, legs crossed.

"Well not with that attitude," the blue man answered sarcastically. He chomped down plates of bacon, determined for it to be the last meal he let her pay for. "Besides, I thought lots of people were willing to hire for non-ninja jobs."

"Sure, but I'd bet not being Akatsuki is a common prerequisite." Kurenai replied coldly. Kisame growled. He couldn't wait to be free of this ice-queen.

Kurenai eyed the blue-haired man stoically. Why did he even want a job? As far as she knew he was completely content with letting her pay for him. She hoped Shizune hadn't given him the impression that she needed to be paid back. Kurenai didn't want to take anything from this guy.

It was bad enough she was assigned to be his guard but if he was going to start trying to become friendly, she was prepared to shoot down any attempts. Any offers of friendship or even cordiality would obviously be ploys to get her to reveal secrets. She knew how espionage worked and she wasn't about to let herself reveal anything to this man. He was Akatsuki and Akatsuki could definitely not, under any circumstances, be trusted.

"Well as long as I'm allowed free roam I think I'm going to give it a try," Kisame stated before gulping down a whole glass of water. Yep, that was the stuff. He raised his glass for a refill and the waitress quickly came over and filled it.

She was decent looking, not as cute as the girl who worked at Ichiraku but at least this one was in his age range. He eyed her thoughtfully as she walked away to take the orders of other customers. When he turned back to his breakfast companion she was scowling, eyes glaring.

"What?" he blinked, dumbfounded. What did he do?

"You pig, you were eying her up," the crimson-eyed woman accused irritatedly. He blinked again, letting her words sink in before he grinned.

"Yes... And?"

Kurenai rolled her eyes. Men.

"Jealous?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly.

"Hardly," she replied deadpanned. Kisame chuckled, seemed to consider something, then decided for it.

"Hey Red,"

"Don't call me that,"

He ignored her and continued.

"Do you want to know the real reason I'm here?" he probably shouldn't be telling her this but it wasn't like he had much to lose. "Not for espionage or an attack or whatever your Anbu assumed, but the real reason?"

Kurenai reminded herself not to seem too interested.

"Enlighten me," she responded, poker face.

"That," he replied, nodding his head toward the waitress. She stared and he decided she looked rather cute when she was confused.

"You came to Konoha...to check out our waitresses," Kurenai should've known he'd give some BS answer like this.

"Waitresses, nurses, kunoichi," Kisame shrugged. "Any attractive woman will do I guess."

He blinked with surprise at how angry her scowl looked. Apparently honesty wasn't the best policy when it came to this one.

"You're so full of crap," she stated irritatedly, returning to her coffee and attitude of not caring. But Kisame was never one to be ignored.

"So how bout it, Red?" he asked, offering her his most charming sharp-toothed grin. "You busy this evening?"

"Yes," she answered coolly. "I'll be busy doing everything in my power to get you out of this village,"

"I can't do that without first hooking up with an attractive woman," he answered simply. Then smirked, deciding to add a joke. He was starting to realize how amusing it was to piss this woman off. She reminded him of Konan in a way, but..much more intriguing. "But you'll do too I suppose,"

He caught the coffee cup just a second before it collided with his face. Luckily she'd drunken all oh it's contents.

"Well if it's an attractive woman you want to look at then fine. I think I know someone who can offer you a job," she spoke though gritted teeth. Kurenai took out a pen and pad and wrote down a name. She couldn't wait to be rid of this guy already. "She's at the Academy right now, and if you like her I'm sure Hokage-sama wouldn't object to reassigning her to you. Here,"

She stood up, slapped some money down onto the table and walked out. Kisame stared after her trying to decide whether he should be happy or not. After a minute he picked up the paper and read the name.

'Anko Mitarashi'.

Damn he was getting tired of all the scared looks he was getting. Feh, children. It was like they'd never seen a shark man before.

"Aaaah Akatsuki!" a little boy screamed, spotting Kisame and running away.

Oh. Well, he supposed the first thing he should buy with his to-be-earned money was some casual attire. Walking around in his cloak seemed to constantly be drawing him unwanted attention. Anyways, where was that classroom he needed to get to...He walked through the corridors and it brought him back to his days back at the Kirigakure Academy. All the rooms and halls seemed to look the same...

He sighed with relief as he finally found the right room. He was about ten minutes late from the time written on the paper Kurenai had left him but he assumed this chick he was supposed to be meeting wasn't very eager to see him anyways. Ok, well, here went nothing. He slid the door open.

"And that's why condoms are important,"

He slid the door closed again.

Okay...Surely, he was at the wrong room. Surely they didn't teach sex-ed in this village to what looked like a class of, from what he'd seen in that split second, mostly terrified 16 year-olds. Surely those those sixteen year-olds could figure for themselves the importance of sexual protection. And surely the scantly clad woman in virtually nothing but fishnet and an overcoat couldn't possibly be the one he was supposed to be...He opened the door again, suddenly very interested.

"Excuse me," a rather familiar and intimidating -even for Kisame who was about the same height- man pushed by him purposefully. The scarred man looked furious.

"Anko!" Ibiki Morino yelled out in a tone that made everyone but Kisame and said-woman flinch. The purple-haired jounin just glanced over at the man with only mild interest, as if he came through the door and yelled at her everyday.

"Oh, hey Ibiki. Back so soon?"

Ah yes, Kisame thought to himself as he recalled the name, 'This was the guy who tried all those mind tricks on me to get him to talk when I was first captured. Heh, I almost did. This creepy bastard is no rookie...and...I think I know him from somewhere... years earlier...'

He couldn't remember yet exactly where but he knew he'd met this man before in the past...

"I leave you alone for five minutes- five minutes, and you're already corrupting my class?" the scary man boomed, glaring in a way that would make lesser women cower. But Anko being, well, Anko, merely looked irritated.

"Corrupting?" she exclaimed indignantly. She turned and stared at the pro at torture and interrogation straight up in the face. He had a good foot on her but she still scowled up at him fearlessly. "These are valuable life lessons I'm teaching these ingrates!"

Oh yeah. Kisame was liking this chick more and more already.

"This is a tactical maneuvering and reconnaissance class," Ibiki sighed, not knowing why be bothered even arguing with this impossible woman. "Not a sexual education lesson!"

"Well fine! But when I'm in charge of Chuunin exams again, and these maggots don't know the best ways to seduce enemies, I'll make sure you get the blame when they fail!"

And she stormed off.

Or, more precisely, out the window after having thrown a kunai through it and shattering the glass. Ibiki groaned softly, obviously very peeved.

"Why does she enjoy breaking my windows so much?" he grumbled to himself, shaking his head.

"Er, any chance you might know where she's heading off to?" Kisame asked, awkwardly stepping up to Ibiki. He pointedly ignored the stares and gasps he was getting from the class. "I'm-

"Yes, I know who you are," Ibiki answered, staring down Kisame who stared right back. "Kurenai-san told me you might be coming by to find her,"

"Kure...oh, Red," Kisame blinked, as his memory put the pieces together. His "guard" seemed to always be one step ahead of him.

The tanned man frowned thoughtfully, highly doubting Yuuhi Kurenai was allowing this criminal to call her "Red", but that was her personal business. Perhaps the Akatsuki man had been coming on to her and she'd chosen to send him to Anko to try and redirect his interests. Heh.

The serious man actually smirked a little at the thought, his sadistic mind suddenly drawing up all the possible..."drama", that Anko Mitarashi could possibly have in store for the blue-haired man.

"Try the local dango shop," Ibiki answered. He almost felt sorry for the Akatsuki. He never wished the punishment of spending time with Anko upon even his worse enemies.

"Kay, thanks," Kisame slipped outside through the broken window. He was pretty sure he'd passed by a dango shop somewhere along the way...

"Hey," his former interrogator said just before he headed off. Kisame looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah?" he asked, curious as to what the man had to say.

Ibiki hesitated for only a moment, seeming to consider the emotional health of his students then decided he didn't care for it.

"She bites," he warned simply. And looked way.

"..." Kisame grinned. "I hope so,"

This just kept getting better and better.

"Are you Anko Mitarashi?"

It had taken a while to find her. Apparently there were several popular dango shops in the village, all of whom had owners who knew this woman's name. They all agreed that she'd probably be at the small dango stand near some place called "The Forest of Death". Oooh, scary, Kisame had thought smirking to himself. Anyways, it had taken him a little while to find the infamous spot.

The woman he'd seen earlier was sitting on the roof of a dango shop, her slim legs dangling down. Unfortunately for him she'd switched her tan skirt for a pair of short khaki shorts and, while he had to admit the view form below was very nice, he had been wanting to know if she actually wore no undergarments at all.

"Who wants to know?" the almond-eyed woman asked, looking down at him and giving him a once over. She seemed unimpresssed and that somehow peeved the blue-haired man. She took the last dango off the dango stick with her teeth and tossed the sharp object into a tree nearby without even looking. It landed amongst the others she'd thrown, completing the Konoha leaf symbol pattern she'd started.

"Kisame Hoshigaki," he answered. "Akatsuki...prisoner,"

He finished very reluctantly and cringed slightly when she laughed out loud. He scowled. She was hot, definitely, but nobody laughed at him. He instinctively reached for his Samehada before realizing, once again he didn't have it. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was unarmed, and it made him feel almost..weak. He growled and the violet-haired woman seemed to react, her face becoming serious.

"Yeah, Kurenai told me you were coming by looking for a job," she said standing up and dusting off her shin guards. But,"

She took out a kunai and Kisame immediately readied himself for a fight, no questions asked. She licked her kunai blade as her eyes took on the gleam of a predator.

"This is no time to get friendly. You're an S-class criminal, one of the top of the most wanted list. You've got to be taken down, and it's only fitting that I'm the one to do it."

First mistake: underestimating how skilled this woman was.

He'd dodged her first kunai easily but a second one hiding in the first one's shadow grazed his cheek slightly. He felt a trickle of warm blood slide down the small cut.

Second mistake: underestimating how fast she could be.

He knew this woman was supposed to be a jounin but in all honesty, even though she was a 10 in all aspects of womanhood, she didn't strike him as a formidable ninja from just appearance.

So when she suddenly appeared behind him, using her chakra to attach herself to the fence just behind him he was shocked for just a second. A second long enough for her to lean over and lick the trickle of blood from his cheek.

Third and final mistake: not leaving then and there.

He knew that killing any Konoha citizen would mean immediate capture and execution of himself so he knew killing her wasn't an option even if she was trying to kill him. So he should have ran.

"Mmm, someone's sure tasty," Anko purred dangerously.

But he didn't leave. Because for some horribly unexplainable reason, a pleasurable thrill ran through him as her tongue made contact with his cheek. He realized then how long it'd been since he'd been..intimate with a woman and this sadistically sensual act sparked just the kind of pleasure he recalled enjoying most in his youth. He grinnned.

"I hope he didn't give you too much trouble, Shizune," Kurenai apologized while strolling with her friend through the village. They were about to grab a late lunch together and maybe just a sip of alcohol.

"He wasn't any trouble at all actually," the short-haired woman replied smiling. Kurenai wondered how a woman could look so young and cute (without the help of any jutsu) like Shizune. They were the same age and yet the medic seemed to look years younger. If the genjustu mistress was the jealous type she'd most certainly be slightly envious of her friend's naturally youthful appearance.

"Really?" Kurenai had also been worried that Shizune's naivete and kind nature would've made her vulnerable to the shark-man's...irksomeness. She knew her friend wasn't defenseless nor weak but the medic was used to turning the other cheek when it came to verbal abuse, especially from Hokage-sama.

"Really," Shizune answered as they entered the restaurant. Kurenai ordered salad, she ordered sushi. Kurenai was about to order a glass of wine when the short-haired woman requested a bottle of sake to share. The crimson-eyed woman looked surprised. Shizune just shrugged and grinned.

"My treat," she said. Then her face turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry about your aunt,"

Kurenai smiled slightly. Unlike Kisame, Shizune looked genuinely sorry for her loss. That was the thing about her friend, she was always so sincere. And everyone knew it.

Another thing Kurenai envied about her; most people always assumed because she was an expert at genjutsu she was a mistress at deception as well. And while it was fairly true during missions, when necessary, she tried to pride herself on being as frank and honest as she could be. But even her own students often had to repeat things just to make sure she'd meant what she'd said the first time.

"Anyways," Shizune was continuing, already taking a sip from her sake shot glass. "Yeah Kisame-san was actually very helpful with errands and paperwork. I got things done yesterday that should've taken me all week to do!"

'Ah,' Kurenai thought, smiling with amusement at her revelation. So that's why Shizune was 'letting her hair down' today. The genjutsu-mistress was happy her friend could relax once in a while. But still, she was surprised with the news that the blue-haired man could be anything but dangerous and irritating.

"Well, cheers," she said finally, and toasted her sake glass with Shizune's before downing her first shot. She told herself she wouldn't get drunk tonight. Asuma was coming home from his mission tomorrow and she did not want to be hungover. Kurenai wondered for a moment what her boyfriend would think when he found out she was single-handedly guarding a dangerous Akatsuki prisoner. She took another shot.

"So, why the salad?" Shizune asked when their food arrived. The baby-faced medic frowned at her friend's poor excuse for a meal. Then at her friend's barely-heavy-enough-to-be-healthy form. "You can't still be dieting. You're already so skinny!"

"It's not for a diet," Kurenai defended indignantly, shifting slightly in self-consciousness. "I just like having a a nice salad from time to time,"

"But like Anko-chan says: that's rabbit food!"

"It's also healthy human food for people who want to watch their weight," Kurenai relied primly.

"Nehhh but Kurenai-chan you're so gorgeous already! And with a great sense of style to boot!" Shizune whined, her face- Kurenai noticed- was already slightly pink form the alcohol. Shizune could not hold her liquor to save her life. "You have beautiful hair, a great complexion and a sexy body!"

Kurenai blushed a little, slightly embarrassed but more worried about her friend's self-control.

"I think that's enough sake for you, Shizune," she said, smiling with concern.

"No way!" the medic protested, now almost officially drunk. "I've been worrrkin my butt off for the past monthsss! Shizune time now!"

Kurenai couldn't help but laugh at her friend's ridiculousness. What the hell; she took another shot of her own.

"With you in the village it's no wonder women like me can't find a husband!" her friend complained sullenly. "It's not faiiiirrrr,"

"Shizune, Genma-san has been trying to ask you out for weeks." Kurenai reminded her, completely confused by her optimistic friends pessimism and completely embarrassed but flattered with her friend's such high opinion of her.

"Yeah I know," Shizune mumbled to herself, pouting. "But I'm just soooo busy. Thank goodness for Kisame-san!"

"Ha, it surprises me that anyone would say that," the crimson-eyed woman laughed, taking another shot.

"Oh don't be like that! So... where is Mr. Tall, blue, and handsome right now?" Shizune asked grinning, her face flushed and her eyebrows wiggling suggestively at Kurenai. "I think he might have the hots for you,"

Kurenai laughed again, though by now figured it must be the alcohol. Her friend's idea was completely absurd and most certainly unpleasant to think about.

"I doubt it," she answered, her red lips curving slightly in a smirk. "But even if he did he has other women to worry about now,"

"Nehhh, what do you mean? Where is he?"

"With Anko," Kurenai replied, her own cheeks starting to turn pink form the alcohol.

"Ayiiiieeee!" Shizune squealed in her characteristic way. Even in her drunken state she still found the idea, like the mentioned woman, crazy. "Why?"

"I sent him to her," Kurenai was officially grinning now.

"Oh you're bad!" Shizune exclaimed and the two women both burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"I could've killed you, ya know?" the shark-nin commented as they walked through the dark forest. He was still a little bewildered about what had just occurred. One second she'd been trying to kill him, the next she was explaining how it had all been a joke and she had a job offer for him.

"Yeah yeah, keep dreaming, Sharky," the violet-haired woman answered, her arms behind her head in a lazy way. Kisame was wondering if he was starting to bore her and he felt almost embarrassed at the thought.

"Red told you I was coming to see you then?"

Anko shot him a glare and he assumed she was probably a friend of "Red's" and didn't appreciate him calling her that. But no, he was wrong.

"We had to cut our bath time short because she made me go get ready to meet you." she said frowning. Kisame processed this.

"You two...bathe together?" he tried to keep away dirty thoughts but the way he was getting a little warm around the gills showed he was failing.

Anko suddenly caught his drift and smirked.

"Yeah, at the hot springs," she explained, a mischievous look on her face. "Sometimes we even..help wash each other up.."

He was trying really, really hard to not get a nosebleed from the inappropriate images going on his head.

"So, uh, what's the job?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going and change back into a safer subject. She was suddenly serious again. He admired a kunoichi who could switch easily from work to play when necessary.

"We're going to be having another Chuunin Exam in this forest pretty soon. Our job is to make sure there's nothing a skilled genin team shouldn't be able to handle." she explained. She then grinned to herself as if suddenly thinking a dirty but wonderful thought. "Though I do love seeing the sight of blood splattered everywhere. Especially if those young guys who think they're so tough,"

She laughed and he chuckled a little too. So she was a bit of a sociopath, but big deal, so was he. Kisame was beginning to think that she might just be the one. Or at least a good start.

"I'm going to need a weapon if we're going to be doing some exterminating," he reminded, hoping desperately for his Samehada. No dice.

"Are you a ninja or aren't you? Use your jutsu like a man," she snapped back. He sighed, both disappointed and irritated. He was sufficient enough in taijutsu to take care of himself but who knew what was in the is God-forsaken forest. And Kami how he wanted his sword back.

"There's no water around," he stated, exasperated. "I'm from the Hidden Mist,"

Anko groaned dramatically and they both exchanged glares.

"Fine then head north, there's a river you can go hide in," she said finally. He scowled. Minus points for bitchiness."We can cover more ground this way anyways,"

Crap. The point was to spend time and get to know her. The blue-haired man growled to himself in frustration. Oh well, maybe he'd have time later. He could always go find her after patrolling the river a little bit.

"Any advice or restrictions?" he asked before he headed off. Anko smirked.

"Just don't die!"

"Kukuku," he couldn't help but chuckle. This woman...

"Suikoudan no Jutsu - Water Shark Projectile Technique," a column of water rose out of the river and held the large bug under pressure. The shark man immediately came in and dealt a swift and powerful death blow. Kisame smirked. That was the thirtieth kill tonight and he was loving the blood rage. He hadn't had time to vent in a long time and boy was he letting loose. He'd forgotten how fun it was to kill things with your bare hands.

"Hey!" a familiar voice called out. Kisame looked to see Anko jumping down from a tree nearby. He was glad it was dark now. Her see-through outfit had been a bit distracting earlier. Yet he could still make out her curves in the shadows. Very nice, he thought once again. "Leave some creatures for the genin!"

Kisame smirked. "Sorry, guess I got carried away,"

"We don't want to make it too easy for them," Anko reminded, smirking in return.

"That's why I left a couple of the giant bears alive,"

"Good, I did the same with my cute kitties,"

Kisame assumed she was talking about the huge tigers that she'd playfully fought with earlier. She'd been impressive, even by his standards. Her fighting style was quick and brutal and he had to admit she looked good while doing it. Her lean body was almost cat-like under that mesh and her breasts...well, he'd tried not to get too distracted. Not too hard since fighting has always been his first and foremost love.

"What was that one jutsu with the snakes?" he asked, curious. "The one you used against the giant leeches."

"Senei Jashu - Hidden Shadow Snake Hands," she answered shrugging her smirk fading a little. Kisame nodded, considering something.

"It was impressive...where'd you learn to fight like that?"

He knew almost instantly he'd struck a nerve and he could see right through her as she tried to cover up. Her discomfort was as clear as day in her light brown eyes but he wanted answers.

"I had a terrible but amazing teacher," she answered reluctantly.

"He was terribly amazing or..."

"No, he was an amazing teacher. But a terrible person," she trembled slightly with anger, but Kisame could tell it was not directed at him. She grit her teeth as if in pain and her hand went instinctively to the back of her neck. Kisame caught a glimpse of a dark mark. A tattoo maybe? They were both silent for a moment.

"Not something I really like talking about," Anko said finally, a sheepish grin coming to her face. Kisame decided not to press the issue.

"Ok. So...do I get paid today?"

The snake-woman laughed at his decision to change the subject so drastically but she appreciated it. And she liked her men direct.

"Yeah yeah. Here," she took out a small stack of yen bound with a rubber band form her coat. Kisame ogled at the money as he took it in his hand.

"This much?" he asked. He didn't want to question it but he was honestly dumbfounded. "For one day?"

"Not a lot of people are capable of doing this job," she answered simply. She then smirked before continuing, "And even fewer are willing to do the job with me,"

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"People here find me a little..."

"Eccentric?" he offered.

"Psychotic and hyperactive," she finished shamelessly, smirking all the while. "And sometimes scary,"

He blinked. Kisame was by no means scared of this woman. In fact...he glanced down at his newly acquired money.

"Want to go get dinner?"

"And so then he decides he's too good for this village, and ups and leaves!" the clearly-drunken woman screeched, her cheeks cherry red.

Kisame had not intended to get her drunk. He honestly didn't. But when she started to demand sake he figured he could let her have one or two shots.

She was on her tenth.

"The freaking pale-ass homo just drops everything he has and just books it right out the village!" she was obviously very angry about it but the alcohol was numbing her enough to stay relatively calm. Still, several people in the bar moved to seats a little farther from the fearsome two. Kisame had his Akatsuki cloak slung over his shoulder.

He'd started to get a little warm after starting to drink himself so the netting shirt he had worn underneath was letting him keep cool. Yet for some reason people still gave him scared looks even when not knowing he was Akatsuki... Stupid, rude Konoha civilians. Bet they were mean to little children, he thought with spite.

"Including his sick, twisted experiments!" Anko ranted on.

"Including you?" he added. It hadn't taken long to piece together her story even from the drunken little bits she'd given him. He didn't tell her he used to work with Orochimaru when the creepy man had been part of the Akatsuki but he did agree with her on all points that the snake man was one of the most despicable creatures alive.

"Including me, that asshole.." tears sprung up into her eyes and Kisame nearly panicked. But, to her credit, even drunk Anko was able to blink them back and resist looking vulnerable. Kisame almost felt sorry for her. His childhood certainly hadn't been a swim in the park but hers certainly..well, sucked. That damn Orochimaru. Kisame knew the man had lived a life of lies ever since the day he saw him. The pale Sannin simply radiated dishonesty.

"He's just one of those guys that are full of lies," he mumbled, scowling to himself and taking another shot of sake himself.

"Heehee, that rhymed," Anko giggled, she stretched out her foot under the booth and nudged his leg. He looked at her. "You're pretty funny for a rogue ninja,"

He mulled this over in his head. He hadn't intended to be funny, hell he hadn't even intended for what he said to rhyme, but this was interesting. He was sure it was just the alcohol's effects. but his new co-worker was actually...hitting on him. now, Kisame had a lot of pride, but even he had to admit to himself that it had been a long time since he'd attracted a woman's interest.

He chose not to answer and poured himself another shot.

"So," she leaned across the table, giving him a very nice view of her chest area that he was currently trying not to stare at. "Tell me a little something about you, Akatsuki,"

"Heh, you sure?" he asked. "My story's even messier than your own. Lots of blood, gore, betrayal..."

"You're a man after my own heart," Anko laughed, grinning, her eyes kind of glazed over. Kisame worried she might pass out soon and quickly poured the last of the sake into his own glass. That was more than enough for her.

"Yeah..well, too bad I can't really tell you details. Regulations and-

"Aw why not! Come on, Akatsuki, get that pole out of your ass! You're starting to sound like Kurenai-san,"

He looked actually offended. Did she just compare him to that sexy stick in the mud?

"Tch, fine," he scowled finally. "You'll probably be too drunk to remember this in the morning anyways,"

"Yay story time!" Anko cheered.

"Well, I graduated the Academy at the age of 10. Not long after I joined Kirigakure's Cypher Division- kind of like our version of your Anbu thing."

"Dangerous missions?"

"Daily,"

"Kill a lot of people?"

"Countless,"

"You're hot,"

"Yes- wait what?" Kisame leaned back slightly in his chair as Anko crawled over the table and into his lap...Well, this was...interesting. Not unpleasant, no certainly not, just...Kisame really didn't know what to do at this point. Her pupiless brown eyes stared piercingly into his own.

"Go on," she purred, smirking her little mischievous smirk.

"Er.. right. Anyways, that guy with the scars who's class you hijacked earlier..I knew him from a long time ago. Took me a little thinking to remember but..He captured my team and tried to interrogate us for intel."

"Ibiki's good at what he does," she said, seeming to sober up a little bit by the slightly more serious look in her eyes. Yet she remained unmoving in his lap. Kisame tried to ignore this and continue.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Too good. My team started cracking, spilling secrets-

"Bastards,"

"Yep, so I killed them."

There was a pause and he stared at Anko's face for a reaction but she remained expressionless, as if pondering over the information.

"I believed protecting information was far more important than protecting lives. I still do. I don't regret a thing," he finished darkly, feeling he had to defend himself. But he didn't.

"I'm not holding it against you," she said quietly, seriously. "I would have done the same..."

So he kissed her. For no other reason than that no one had ever been understanding about why he did what he'd done, he kissed her.

He put his arms around her and, when she tensed but didn't push him away. There was no real passion, no fireworks, but it was heated and forceful and she kissed him back.

They continued to kiss until one of them- maybe it was her, he couldn't remember- suggested they should 'take this somewhere else'. Kissing and cursing along the way because even in such a situation she'd found a way to get on his nerves and even under sake's influence his pride wouldn't allow him to just let the woman's comments slide, they headed to her place.

They arrived at her apartment, both drunk, angry. When he pushed her against the wall she growled but quickly put her arms around his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss. They battled for dominance. He was stronger, but she was a tease and they drove each other crazy. They were soon on her bed, her coat and shin guards off, he shirtless. His back glistened with slick sweat and her breaths were coming out in heavy gasps.

There was no attachment, no intimate feelings, just alcohol and lust. And he liked it that way. At least... he was almost sure he did. In the dark he both kissed a ferocious kunoichi and moved his hands over a sexy woman, he had no complaints. But still, something in the back of his mind wasn't fully into it. He was partly detached and this part of him was reprimanding him. He hadn't come here for sex. He'd have gone elsewhere for that, so what did he think he was doing..?

Then she bit him. And he lost control.

Beepbeepbeep!

Kisame groaned and reached for the annoying device without looking. He hears something crash to the floor and he cursed under his breath. His head hurt like a bitch and he growled at his mistake of forgetting to turn off his alarm last night.

Wait. He didn't own an alarm.

The blue-haired man sat up in the unfamiliar bed. He glanced around the dark window-less bedroom. What the..He glanced down and realized he was shirtless, his Akatsuki cloak lay on a chair on the other side of the room.

"..." he lifted the white sheets and was mildly surprised to see his boxers were still on. The black ones with the smiling Goldfish crackers on them. So...what had happened last night? As he reluctantly got out of the bed he looked around groggily. There were no pictures in the room, no personal items other than clothes and a few scrolls laying around. Disheveled but certainly not crowded, and absolutely impersonal. A shinobi's room.

A bra lay on the floor beside the fallen alarm. A kunoichi's room, he corrected himself mentally.

He picked up the alarm and set it back on the night stand. That's when he noticed the note.

'Still here? Who said you could stay all night? Just kidding. Nothing edible in the fridge, lock the door when you leave.' -Anko

And that was it. No 'thanks for last night', no heartfelt message of how she'd fallen for him or wanted more. And..he was ok with that. Kisame sat on the edge of the bed and reread the message several times. In the dimly lit room the tall man ran a hand through his dark blue hair. He sighed. What was wrong with him?

When he was younger he'd kill- literally- for a no-strings-attached night like this. He hadn't felt anything strong for her and neither she for him. He assumed he a had a good night- even if he couldn't remember any of it- and it was safe to assume she hadn't completely hated it. They owed each other nothing and she was completely fine with going on.

So why wasn't he?

"Ugh, what's wrong with me..?" Kisame growled softly, burring his face in his hands with frustration. Why did he not feel content by how things had turned out? Why instead were there feelings of remorse and dirtiness burning in his stomach like bile? It wasn't like he'd never had a one-night stand before... So, why did he feel so...empty..?

"There's still something missing..." he whispered to himself.

After washing up in Anko's bathroom, after nearly slipping on several bars of soap she'd been to lazy to pick up, he got dressed. As he exited the apartment he sighed again. Things would be so much simpler if he'd been his younger self.

"She actually let you spend the night?"

He couldn't figure out why, but just the sound of that familiar voice made his morning.

"I'm surprised. She usually wants her lovers gone by morning," and indeed a surprised frown did grace the woman's fair-skinned face.

"Hey, Red,"

"Stop calling me that," she pursed her full, red lips and glared at him sharply. "If you have to address me then make it Yuuhi-san, or just Yuuhi,"

"Aw and here I thought we'd gotten close enough to be on a first-name basis," he replied, grinning, starting to feel like himself again.

"Dream on," she said deadpanned but then paused. A more solemn look came upon her face as she continued. "Though I see you've gotten pretty close with Anko-san last night,"

Kisame just shrugged. She raised a dark-colored brow.

"I honestly don't remember," he admitted, grinning sheepishly. She made a face.

"You had drunk sex," It was more of an accusation than a statement.

"Sorry we forgot to invite you,"

"You're unbelievable," Kurenai scowled.

"Thank you. You too,"

His guard/guide rubbed her temples. One, because this man was simply infuriating; and two, she had a mild hangover.

Kisame watched her, looking solemnly thoughtful.

"Hey...Yuuhi-san,"

She blinked, surprised he was actually complying to her request.

"Yes?"

He reached into his cloak and held up one of the yen bills he'd earned.

"Breakfast?"

"If we seek the pleasures of love, passion should be occasional, and common sense continual." -Robertson Davies

I wonder if anyone is even still reading this now that Kurenai had her baby in the manga... Should i continue? 0_0 PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS STORY.