And so, the creatures settled down in their hotel rooms. But no one was about to sleep. Let's look in room 1 first.
"I call this bed!" Tsarmina said as she ran towards a bed.
"There's only two beds," Badrang said, dissapointed, "What now?
"You and Martin share one," the wildcat answered.
The stoat and the mouse looked at each other with hatred. "No way," Martin growled, "You and Badrang."
"Heeeelllooo? I'm a girl, I'm not sharing a bed with some filthy dude," Tsarmina hissed, "You don't realize how awkward this is."
"Well he killed me, I'm not sharing a bed with him," Badrang complained.
"That's not something you hear every day..." Martin commented.
"He killed me too!" Tsarmina said.
"No, you drowned, so technically a lake killed you," the writer said.
"Shut up," the former queen grumbled.
"Anyway, c'mon, you're a queen, I'm a tyrant..." Badrang began.
"Don't try to hit on me," the wildcat growled, "Or you'll get a face full of claw."
"Why are we fighting?" Badrang asked, "Our enemy is the mouse."
"An enemy of my enemy is still my enemy," Tsarmina grunted.
"Our archenemy is right here. You know what to do," Badrang said.
"I really don't like the way this is heading..." Martin said as he backed away.
Meanwhile, Cornflower and Rose were getting their rooms together. "Look," Cornflower said, "There's a crib for Rollo!"
"There's another crib for Veil!" Bluefen added.
"Mom, I told you, I outgrew a crib last week," Veil complained, "I sleep in a big boy's bed."
"Sorry, I forgot," Bluefen said, "Tonight you can sleep in the same bed as me, so the monsters don't get you."
"Mooooooom!"
"Sorry."
"Hey, Rose," Cornflower said, "What book are you from?"
"Excuse me?"
"You know we're all from books."
"Um, Martin the Warrior," Rose answered.
"Just Martin the Warrior?" Cornflower asked, "I'm in two books. Plus three of the picture books."
"Well I died, so how could I have been in more then one?" Rose huffed.
"You died? Sorry, I didn't realize. I married Matthias and had Mattimeo."
" I would have married Martin. If I didn't die."
"I'm sorry..." Cornflower said.
"You think you're better them me, don't you," Rose growled, "Because you lived through the whole book."
"I never said that!" Exclaimed Cornflower.
"You're thinking that!"
"You're both right!" Bluefen said, "Don't fight in front of my little Veil."
"Cornflower!" Baby Rollo said, toddling over to her.
"That's right," Cornflower said, "I'm better then Rose, right Rollo?"
"You did not just say that!" Rose hissed.
I would go into extensive detail about the following events, but imagining them might be a bit... awkward. Well, Rose tackled Cornflower and when the two got up they started a catfight. Bluefen covered Veil's eyes. Rollo just started crying. When they were done, Cornflower calmly put Rollo to bed and Rose went to go check on Martin. They acted as if nothing happened.
"I'm going to bring him some cookies," Rose said.
"Where'd you get cookies?" Cornflower asked.
"Um, I found them," she answered.
"Where?" Bluefen asked,.
"...the trolley had some, so I took 'em."
Both of the other creatures stared.
"I'll be going now."
She walked down the hallway to the room where Martin, Badrang, and Tsarmina were. She gently knocked on the door. There were strange sounds coming out of the room.
"Just a second!" A voice called out. "Will ya let me go, I gotta get the door!"
Tsarmina opened the door. "Um, hi."
"I brought cookies," Rose said.
Suddenly Tsarmina was pulled back by Badrang. "You don't call me a lousy tyrant and get away from it."
Martin kicked them both as he scrambled to meet Rose. "Thanks," he said, "We're a bit busy right now, could you come back later?"
He was dragged back by Tsarmina. The door slammed. Rose decided not to get involved.
Meanwhile, Ironbeak and Korvus were arguing... again. Mangiz and the doomwytes decided it was best to wait for them to tire out before coming out from under the bed.
"Hehe," the writer said, apparantly half asleep, "Mangiz and the doomwytes... sounds like a rock band..."
The birds stared at her. "I'm ignoring that," Ironbeak said.
"Some general," Korvus sneered, "Ye look like a little hatchling."
"I said before, you're much smaller then me," Ironbeak replied, puffing out his chest.
"I have three doomwytes to back me up," Korvus said, "I thought we went through this."
Just as the two birds were about to attack each other, there was a knock on their door. "I'll get it," Korvus said.
"Maybe I wanna get it," Ironbeak glared.
"Maybe you aren't good enough to get it!"
Their argument went on. Finally Mangiz came and opened the door. "Room service!"
"We didn't order rooms service," Mangiz said.
"I don't care," the maid said. She was a badger.
"Wait a minute... I recognize you!" Mangiz said, "You're Constance! Hey, you killed me!"
"The past is the past," Constance said, pointing to a pile of boxes, "Here's the 500 pounds of cheese you ordered."
"We didn't order any cheese!" Mangiz said.
"Allow me to explain what is supposed to happen," Constance growled, "I say 'here's the 500 pounds of cheese you ordered'. Then you say 'thank you' and pay for it then tip me 100 dollars. Got it?"
"But-"
"GOT IT?"
"Yes!"
"Yes what!"
"Yes sir!"
"YES MA'AM!!!"
"HELP!"
Constance whacked him on the head. Mangiz dived back under the bed for his own safety.
"We did not order 500 pounds of cheese," Ironbeak said.
Constance held out a paper with '500lbs of Cheese to room A56'.
"This is room A57," Ironbeak said, "A56 is over there."
"Sorry, my mistake," Constance said, taking the cart over.
Mangiz grumbled multiple swears.
In room A56, Matthias, Mattimeo, and Swartt were staring at Chickenhound having another argument with... Slagar.
"Room service!" Constance called.
Matthias opened the door. "Constance!" He exclaimed, "Finally, someone sane!"
"Here's the 500 pounds of cheese you ordered," Constance said.
"...what?"
"Look, I don't have all night," the annoyed badger said, "Just take the stupid cheese."
"Ooh!" Slagar said, "My cheese is here!"
"No," Chickenhound said, removing the mask, "It's my cheese!"
Suddenly, a fight broke out. Chickenhound put on his mask, punched himself, took off the mask, punched himself, and repeat.
"It's my cheese!" Chickenhound shrieked.
"It's mine you liar!" Slagar growled.
"There is something seriously wrong with him," Swartt said.
Mattimeo was cheering on Chickenhound.
"Please get me out of here!" Matthias begged.
"I can't do that," the writer said.
"Why not?!"
"..."
"Answer me!"
"No."
Constance left the writer and Matthias to their business.
In the room across the hall, the doom bunny was having an episode.
"DOOOOOM!" he cried, "DEATH DOOM AND DESTRUCTION TO US ALL! WE WILL ALL DIIIIEEE!"
"I think he lost it," Gonff said.
"Oh, just now?" Sela glared at him.
"Does he think he's a seer or something?" Nightshade asked, "I'M the seer."
"What about Mangiz?" Sela asked.
"He visioned Ironbeak ruling Redwall. He's a fraud."
"Well," Sela said, "You envisioned Swartt killing Sunflash. That didn't happen, now did it?"
"At least I have visions!"
"I'm a healer! And I have a son! You never could get a man!"
"A son?" Nightshade stared at her, "You think that... mental patient is a good thing for you to have?"
"Well at least I have a son!"
"No, you have two sons," Gonff pointed out, "Chickenhound and Slagar."
"Who names their child Chickenhound?" Nightshade made a strange face.
"Ladies, please, don't argue," Gonff said.
"At least I wasn't killed by a beserk badger!"
"And I wasn't a traitor!"
Gonff took the Doom Bunny and hid under the bed. Neither of them should get hurt if the two vixens fought. Suddenly, without warning, the unthinkable happened.
"Warning: the unthinkable is going to happen," the writer said.
Suddenly the Doom Bunny exploded.
"...what?" Gonff asked.
"I don't know," the writer admitted, "I'm getting tired."
The Doom Bunny appeared next to Gonff again.
"I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen," Gonff said. He crawled out of the bed to see Sela and Nightshade fighting.
"I'm not surprised," he said before crawling into bed like nothing was happening.
Outside, Cluny was trying to sleep. "I can't sleep without my teddy bear!" he sobbed, "MR. TEDDY, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Then he saw three figures coming towards the hotel.
"OH MY GOD ITS THE MONSTERS!"
He grabbed a random sword that happened to be just sitting there and charged toward them.
Ohhh cliffhanger ending... kinda. Why is Constance here even though I swore not to put badgers in this story (don't ask why)? What will happen to Martin, Tsarmina, and Badrang? Will Sela and Nightshade kill each other? Will Ironbeak and Korvus kill each other? Or will Rose and Cornflower kill each other? Wow this is getting violent. Will cluny defeat the weird figures? And where is Mr. Teddy?The suspense!!!