Chapter Three:

Three days later, Kate receives a call from Martha telling her that Hayley is returning back from Los Angeles - without Castle. Beckett's suspicions were peaked by the lack of concern in Martha's voice. "You know where he is don't you?" Kate asks in an accusing voice.

Martha Rodger's was intimidated by very few and Beckett's interrogation room tone only served to raise her ire. "Even if I knew where Richard was, I certainly wouldn't tell you. Not after Hayley showed me what she discovered about you and your new partner. I warned you that even a forgiving man such as my son has his limits and you ignored me. So whatever happens now is on you. Goodbye Captain Beckett." Martha ends the call before Kate can say a word.

Three more weeks pass without a word from Castle or anyone from his family. A small going away party was held for Ryan at The Olde Haunt. No one there had heard or seen from Castle in nearly a month now. Things had become even more strained between her and Esposito since Kevin announced he was leaving. Believing that her time was limited until Hayley turns in whatever evidence she had on her secret investigation, she redoubles her efforts to find LocSat. Her official work was starting to suffer and people at 1PP were taking notice.

Christmas was a week away and Kate was positive that Rick wouldn't miss the holiday. She started monitoring both Alexis and Martha's credit card activity hoping to see something that would indicate that Castle was coming to see them for the holiday. She had to see him and talk him out of going through with the dissolution, which would become official on the 27th, with or without her signature. She could try to appeal, but the fact that he was giving her more than required by the prenup coupled with her well documented abandonment didn't bode well for her.

Christmas came and went with no sign of Castle. Kate works the holiday as she had no where to go anyway. Martha and Alexis celebrated the holiday with Hayley and Meredith. She wasn't surprised that Meredith would seize the opportunity to manipulate the situation to her advantage with Alexis in Rick's absence. Two days later, her dissolution was filed and accepted without Kate appearing in court. There was no point in fighting it anyway.

On December 31st, Kate was summoned into deputy Director Gates office at 1PP. Sitting there in the office was Bonnie Spellman, Director of Internal Affairs and Chief of Detectives Arthur Graham. Kate knew as soon as she entered the room that this was not going to end well for her. Gates gestured for for Beckett to take a seat in the already crowded office.

"Ms Beckett, I'll dispense with the formal introductions as you already know everyone. I'll be brief and to the point. Two weeks ago, Internal Affairs was alerted to an IT audit which reveled suspicious activity by your newly hired tech analyst, a Vikram Singh. The evidence indicated that Mr Singh was accessing restricted government servers after hours using NYPD resources... Yesterday, the preliminary report was filed with evidence that supports the allegations that you and Vikram Singh were conducting your own unwarranted investigation using NYPD resources..."

Gates opened up a folder and laid out several photographs before her. Each was time and date stamped from the previous week. The first one was of her and Vikram leaving her SRO at one in the morning. The second one was of the two of them sharing a meal at a street vendor. The third one showed her and Vikram sitting together in a car during one of their fruitless stake outs. "Would you care to comment on these?"

Knowing there was nothing to say in her defense, she quietly replies. "I don't know what you want me to say sir."

"One of my investigators conducted several interviews with the people in your precinct. Most of them that knew you said that your behavior since you took over as Captain has been off to say the least. Camera logs have you coming and going at all hours, yet your required precinct reports are continuously late, or incomplete." Director Spellman comments. "There were unsubstantiated rumors from several people that you and Mr Singh were involved in a extramarital affair..."

"That's a lie! I'd never cheat on Rick." Kate angrily replies.

"It's been confirmed that you moved out of the apartment that you shared with your now ex-husband over three months ago and hired Mr Singh as a tech analyst soon thereafter. We tried to contact him, but it seems that he's disappeared. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

The tone of Spellman's voice implied that she had already made her decision regarding Kate's infidelity. "I have no idea where my husband is..." She replies emotionlessly. "I haven't seen or spoken to him since our wedding anniversary..."

"I went to bat for you Beckett. I told them that despite your impulsive acts in the past, you could be counted on to do the job as Captain... I thought that you being married to Mr Castle was just what you needed to thrive in your new job... I spoke to several of the people in the precinct and they all agreed that morale is at an all time low. When I saw detective Ryan's request for transfer, I knew that you had failed... That I had failed..." Gates comments with a sigh.

Graham spoke last. "Based upon the preliminary evidence we have, you are suspended without pay while we complete a formal investigation of these allegations against you. As these may include criminal charges being filed, we ask that you do not leave the city until the investigation is completed... Your gun and your badge Ms Beckett..."

Kate opens her jacket and removes her service weapon from its holster and lays it on Gates desk along with her shield.

"Not knowing what this investigation may find, my advice would be to retain the services of a good lawyer Ms Beckett." Spellman remarks as Kate starts to walk to the door.

Beckett stops to turn and face Gates. "What happens to Mr Singh?"

"I figured that you would know Ms Beckett..." Spellman sarcastically replies. "When we tried to contact him, the number he provided was no longer in service and the address in his personnel file was empty... You claimed that he used to work for the Attorney General, but they have no record of an employee by that name..."

Kate was too stunned to speak. 'Had Vikram been a plant by LocSat to keep her chasing nowhere leads and apart from the one man with the connections that could have helped her - her husband?' All she could do was take the elevator down to the lobby where she left the keys to her cruiser with the receptionist. Exiting the building, she hails a cab, giving him directions to her fathers apartment.

Thirty minutes later the cab stops in front of her father's apartment building. She pays the driver and is in the elevator on her way to her father's floor a minute later. Kate exits the elevator and searches through her purse looking for extra key Jim had given her. Once inside the apartment, she collapses on the sofa, finally able to release the tears she had been holding since 1PP.

Jim Beckett arrived about an hour after Kate. He walks into his apartment and sees his daughter curled up in a ball on the sofa, still sobbing. He rushes to where she is dropping to his knees beside her. "Katie bug, what's wrong?"

The use of his nickname for her when she was a child only seemed to make things worse. "I, I've ruined everything dad. I've lost it all..." Kate manages to get out between sobs.

Jim Beckett loved his daughter without conditions. He had supported her through her wild-child teens, when it seemed that she constantly clashed with Johanna. He'd been the shoulder that Kate cried on when Will had decided his career was more important than a relationship with her. He was the one that assured her that Rick would return to her somehow because he loved her after Castle disappeared on their wedding day.

He was never as proud of her as the day she married Castle. He was so happy to see that she had finally found a man that loved her even more than he did. She deserved to be happy after everything that she had been through. But then she succumbed to her addiction - her quest for justice that took precedence above everything. Like her separation from Castle, he learned about her divorce from Martha. They both held such high hopes for their children, yet neither was surprised when Rick finally gave up.

Jim Beckett could spot a fellow addict when he saw one and his daughter exhibited all of the signs. He had begged her to seek counseling when he first learned of her moving out of the loft, but she assured him that everything was fine. She just needed a little time alone to work things out. He even understood why Rick had to leave the city as he was sure that it was filled with reminders of Kate just like it is for him with Johanna.

"What are you talking about Katie?" Jim inquires as his thoughts return to the present.

"My, my job! I was suspended today... They're talking about filing criminal charges... What am I going to do dad?" Kate manages to get the words out between sobs. "I've ruined everything..."

Not knowing that Castle was nowhere to be found, he inquires. "Have you spoken to Rick? I'm sure that he could help..."

"My divorce was final three days ago dad. I don't know why Rick would want to help me..."

"Because the man loves you." Jim replies as if that was one of the givens in life like the sky is blue.

She stops sobbing, hearing her father tell her that Rick still loves her. "I have no idea where he is and both Martha and Alexis will not tell me. They said that they promised Rick to tell no one..."

"You're a cop Katie. Do what you do best and track him down. Tell him what a fool you have been and beg him to forgive you... Unless you don't want to be with him..."

"He left me dad! Why should I have to hunt him down and beg for his forgiveness?" Kate replies, suddenly on the offensive.

Angered by her tone, Jim rises to his feet and moves away from her to take a calming breath. She was always so stubborn, even when she knew she was wrong. "You know what Katie, you're right. This is all Rick's fault. He wouldn't stay away when you asked him to because he was worried about you. It was his fault for not knowing why you moved away from him like you did. And I'm sure that it was his fault for actually giving you the space away from him and the divorce that you asked for..."

"I never wanted a divorce dad! Rick gave up on me!" She nearly shouts at him.

"Who gave up on whom first Katie?" He questions. "You moved out on him without an explanation or an idea of how long you were going to be gone, why? What did you do that made him finally give up?"

Kate knew that her father was in full lawyer mode. There was nothing she could say to defend herself or her actions with him that wouldn't be picked apart. She decides to say nothing remembering one of her mother's favorite sayings: 'It's better to be silent and let everyone think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.'

Jim could only sigh and decided to change the subject. "So tell me why you were suspended from your job?"

"I was conducting an off the books investigation after hours. They claim that I was misusing NYPD resources for my investigation..."

"Were you Katie?"

"I guess so. I mean we used some of the resources there to track down a few leads..."

"We? Who else did you involve in this?" Jim asks, now concerned that she had gotten detectives Ryan and Esposito involved. He knew how loyal they were to her.

"Just a tech analyst. He was the reason I got involved in the first place."

"What happened to him? Did they suspend him too?"

"I seems that he disappeared. The address that he gave was empty when they went to find him and his phone was disconnected. They claimed that he never worked in the Attorney General's office like he told me..."

"Tell me that this off the books case wasn't why you left Rick?" Jim asks, already suspecting the answer.

Kate can only stare straight ahead of her, not able to make eye contact with her father.

"If you'd like, I can give you the names of a couple of very good criminal attorneys. They may be able to get all of the charges against you dropped in exchange for your resignation."

"Resignation? What will I do without my job? It's all I have left."

"Katie, you had to know that this was the chance you were taking when you decided to conduct your own secret investigation. Just like you had to know that you were risking your marriage when you moved out on Rick... You can't undo what has happened as result of the choices you make... You have to accept the consequences..." Deciding that there was nothing more to be said about the subject, he asks her to stay with him as long as she needs to. Jim didn't know that Rick's loft now belonged to her...