Disclaimer: I don't Zelda

`SOUND EFFECTS!`

"Thinking"

"YELLING!"

(Matt's side comments)

"Urgh...." I groaned, shaking my head and rolling my eyes. I was squirming around on a hard, cold surface. "Damn deer..." In a painful attempt, I tried moving my arm but failed when I felt a sharp, piercing sensation. I cried out, loud and clear. Some thick, strange liquid was soaking me from the inside of my white shirt. Sudden lights and sirens were all I could hear and see, but my eyes averted back to my arm. It was bleeding heavily, along with my torso that had metal shards from my motorcycle poking out. "Where am I?"

Several hands were working on me, as if trying to stop the bleeding. I heard yells,"We're losing him!"

"Get the crash cart!"

My breathing was limited when I felt someone place a cool, metal pad on my chest.

"CLEAR!"

Then I tried screaming when I felt electricity run through my chest and body.

"CLEAR!"

After the second shock, the pain was so unbearable, I lost consciousness.....

Legend Three: Twilight Hyrule Castle

"Urgh...." I moaned uneasily from my...'dream'. I rolled around on a cold, hard surface."Damn deer...oh shit..." When I realized I was having Déjà vu, I shot up and whipped around, making sure no one was there trying to electrocute me. My entire body was covered in sweat, even my heat was pumping fast with adrenaline. I kept looking around in circles until I realized that I was in a cell....wait, they have jails in Zelda? Since when? I glanced around, no way out for me. Slowly, I leaned against a wall on my side and sank to my knees to think of a plan.

"Okey...let's make a list of reasons why I got sent to jail....one, I was over speeding limit....two, I kept doing parking violations....three, breaking into the Zelda world.....I think number three is it, yeah....number three..." Again, I ran up to the bars and grabbed them with my hands. "LEMME OUT! I DIDN'T BREAK THE LAW....(yet)....HELL, ARE THERE EVEN LAWS HERE IN HYRULE?!"

To the cell next to me, I saw a black wolf with golden markings sleeping heavily.....I ignored it. (A/N: NO, YOU IDIOT! Matt, that wolf is Link! Argh!)

I found a mug and ran it against the bars, causing an annoying clacking noise to fil the small prison.

Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack!

"Please, let me out, I'll be a good boy!" I shouted, the wolf in the other cell woke up and began barking at me. "Shut up, mutt..." Eventually, after half an hour, I got bored and decided to observe my surroundings....for the fourth time. "Uh...if I were Altair from Assassin's Creed, what would I do?....hm...." Above me, I spotted a chain with a large, iron ring wielded on to the end of it. "Since there's no buttons, might as well pull on this..." After jumping up three times, I managed to grab it and pull it down (1), causing a large, steal door to slide open in the corner of my cell. I smiled. "Heh, going through dungeons would be easier than I thought..."

I got down on all fours and started going through the crawlspace, I emerged into a dead end of a corridor where a green, orb-like flame was floating.

"....what the fuck is that supposed to be?"

I tried to poke it, but my finger of burned.

"Ow! Bitch!"

.:Link's Cell:.

Midna rode on Link's furry back as he trotted over to my old cell, she looked up at the chain and then at the crawlspace, she mumbled,"Hm, that kid is smarter than I thought...." When the spotted me trying to fight the globe of fire, she sweatdropped. "....I want to take that statement back...who're you?" I turned around to stop assaulting the floating green ball.

"What are you?" I asked back, staring at her.

"I asked first!" she shot at me.

"Matt, alright?" I scoffed rudely. "....(Is she gonna be the new Navi? Tell me she's only temporary)...so, what this thingy?" I pointed at the orb.

"First of all, it's a spirit, second, you are supposed to be one of them! How come you aren't one of them?!"

"Psh, I dunno...(Maybe it's because I'm a physical being that's not supposed to be in the video game world)..." (2)

"...whatever," Midna sighed,"I guess I'll just have to bring you to her...this wolf might not be the right person I was looking for in the first place....but she might be able to judge who's it....Matt, you're going with us..."

"Obviously, I've got nothing better to do," I snorted,"Do I get to ride Link?"

Link gave a wide-eyed look at me, I laughed,"No, no, just kidding!"

"Oh well...Eee hee hee! Want to see something interesting?" she asked Link,"you're a beast, use your sences!"

There was a small pause, then Link took off, I chased after him. It took me a while to realize that I was in a dungeon or some sort of sewer. There were cages in the walls and chains hanging from above. There was even a canal to the right of me where only three inches of water flowed. I nearly slipped but kept my footing when we reached a corner, she stopped Link and me to explain,"That was a soldier's spirit. Maybe it's someone from another world? Eee hee!" She giggled at the end of her sentence.

"Woo. Scary," I gasped sarcastically,"Where are we?"

"I'll tell you later...I bet you're dying to know."

"Obviously....what else can I ask? Can I have bread? How's the weather? Can I have your number? What's your social security number?"

Midna giggled,"You're not stupid, but you're not smart either....yet you're funnier than Link!"

"I'll take is as a compliment...I guess," I added dully, Link began to leap over the canal, he turned and waited for me. The jump was only four feet, I think I could cover that. I tok a couple steps back and then sprinted over the gap and reached Link's side. We went through an open gate to find ourselves at another four-way corridor. Midna stopped Link again.

"I doubt that you're used to your new body so I'll tell you, think about how you fought enemies in your human form. Just because you changed your shape, it doesn't mean that your instincts have as well!"

"...(how many times is she gonna stop us?)..."

I saw a chain hanging from the ceiling, but we passed it and jumped into the canal. I fallowed Link as he turned left on a corner, we reached a dead end, but I noticed something odd about the wall. I looked back to see that there were spikes in the hallway ahead. How could I have missed that? Link leaped up in the air and grabbed a chain that hung freely, the aqua duct's gate opened and allowed water to flow into the canals.

"Good boy," I praised him, he glanced at me as if saying,"Shut up." and then ran off to jump in the water. He waited for me to take a swim, I reluctantly did and started swimming up to him. Together, we swam over the spikes and made it to the otherside of the hallway. Link raised hauled himself on to the cement walkway and turned to help pull me up by grabbing my shirt. He ran off again and made a right, I waited for a bit until the water randomly drained out. Link, again, climbed up on to the walkway and glanced at me. "Man, you're better at dungeons than me!"

"Maybe if you did something, you can be more productive," Midna smirked, I threw her a glare and fallowed them to another gated off passage. Midna levitated off of Link's back and went through the bars. "This way, over here!" She floated above ground. "I'll be waiting for you, but you'll have to help yourselves for a change!"

Link and I stared at her, I spoke,"Girl..." My boots splashed in the water when I jumped. "You are some 'helpful' Navi..." I saw a hole in the wall, I made a gesture for it. "Wolves first..."

He grunted and got down in his belly to crawl through, I went in as well. We ended up in a large cave where Link dug around for a heart and a rupee. There was an open space in the wall that we decided to go through, we met up with Midna, who immediately got on to Link's back again.

"Eee hee, did the detour tire you out, little wolf?" she asked, I came up from behind her with my front soaked entirely with water. "Oh, you seem to be hanging on....just a bit more and we'll be outta here, ok?..."

I went after them and murmured under my breath, mimicking her,"...Just a bit more and we'll be outta here, ok? Jesus, I miss Navi's retarded explanations and-OH MY GOD!" I looked up to see the spiraled staircases go up an extremely large chamber. "Are those tightropes?!" I pointed up like an idiot. We began our ascent up the stairs. "Oh boy, this is the Forest Temple all over again." Unknowingly, I was running along with Link until he attempted to leap over a gap, however, I skidded into a stop and watched the lose platform crumble under Link and Midna's weight. I laughed at them. "Ha! Link, you're too heavy!"

"Urgh! What are you doing?!" exclaimed Midna, she gave a frustrated sigh. Link started running up to me and paused. "I guess I gotta do everything!" She floated over to the other side.

I stopped laughing abruptly,"Wait, how am I gonna get to the other side?" Link nudged my leg. "Oh...are you sure? I mean, this ain't Okami (3) but I'll give it a go." I swung my right leg over Links side and manged to hitch him. "Am I heavy-WHOA!" Link made startling leap-of-faith over the gap, then another when Midna floated farther away. I jumped off him and Midna on on. "Wow..." We were off again, jumping over two gaps on are own until we reached large slap of cement. I got on Link's back while Midna floated overhead.

Link looked up, then made two, long and high jumps to reach his goal. I got off of him and said,"Link is a good boy..." We stopped momentarily at a tightrope. "Aw, hell no, you expect me to balance myself on a piece of rope that might snap?!"

"Don't be a big baby!" Midna chuckled, she slapped my thigh. Oddly enough, her tiny slap was enough to send me walking on the tightrope. Instead of walking in a calm fashion, I bolted to the other side and clung to the wall. Link steadily made his way to me. "See? That wasn't so bad!"

"That's it!" I shouted in her face, I pointed an index finger at her. "I'm getting a lawyer!"

"...we don't have Court Orders here in Hyrule..."

"STFU, MOFO!"

Obviously, I had the shit scarred out of me.

Again, for the second to last time, I got on to Link's back and rode him to the other side. Instead of getting off (since I was unable to), I held on to him again when he started making high jumps all over until he reached the open door.

.:Outside on Random Rooftop:.

"So we were finally able to get out," Midna sighed happily,"and look at the sky! Isn't the black cloud of twilight beautiful today?"

"Not as beautiful as your ugly face," I huffed, getting off of Link for the last time,"and how can rain be beautiful?"

"Do you know here this is?"

I looked around, up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right and shook my head,"A stripping club?"

"You STILL don't know?! Look, there's someone I want to introduce you to...but I need to go to that tower to do it!" She pointed a small, black figner ahead of us. I chased after Link until Midna stopped us (urgh) to make a comment. "So there's spirits up here too, huh? Even though these guys can see those monsters, they don't know a thing bout you!" Link ignored her and started pushing a crate up against a wall. He jumped in and then climbed up, I fallowed him to find that he leaped ahead of me to an open space on the rooftop. A huge, black bird (Shadow Kargarok) came swooping after him, he leaped back and then sprung forward to bit its neck, I watched in awe until it flew away and then dove back again.

"Hey! It sounds like Articuno!" I shouted as it made a horn like sound, when Link finished it off, I sprung out from hiding and ran up to him. "So that's what enemies are in the game!"

Midna and Link raised eyebrows at me,"What?"

"...nothin'!" I raised up both hands to show that my statement was nothing. We started dashing, jumping, leaping, riding, getting soaked by the rain, and dodging shadow kargaroks and make it to the tower Midna mentioned in one piece. "All right, I've had fun with the dungeon, what's next?"

She smirked,"Just climb up there through the window-"

"Don't tell me Rapunzel's in there," I groaned, exhausted from my little adventure in the sewers,"or some other damsel in distress...or even Princess Peach..."

"Nope! No get up there or eles I'll make you!"

"Yeah, yeah, better do what Tatl says," I grumbled, I jumped up and kicked off the roof's tiles to give me a slight boost. I did it again to get up on the second ledge. Looking around, I sighed that the coast was clear and gave a signal to Link, he nodded and began climbing up. I lowered myself down while Link jumped off the window seal. "Don't tell me this is another marathon on stairwells again..."

"Shut up and move, Matt...you're so whiny for a Hylian..."

I grunted and started to walk, even Link was agreeing with me.

"Aw! C'mon, YA LIKE TA MOVE IT!" Midna shouted, trying to motivate me. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Alright, I'm fine, let's go...." Link wagged his tail while leading me up the stairs. "...12....13....17....18...19.....20 steps! Thank God! It's OVER! Level complete!" I randomly burst into the room, causing the door to fly off its hinges. "Alright! I completed the damn dungeon! Where's my money! I want my money, man!" There was a four post bed with a canopy to the right and a fireplace to the left. In the middle of the window that was ahead of us was a hooded figure, she turned to me slightly then averted back to her gaze out the window.....which I'm betting she's got a really crappy view. "Yo, are you a boss-"

Link approached her in a calm he trotted up to her, the woman turned around and exclaimed,"Midna?!"

"Eee hee! You remembered my name? What an honor for me-" Midna was cut short, yes, you guessed it, me tripping in a clumsy, unprofessional manner that was completely different from Link's.

Out of instinct, I tried to grab something. Guess what I reached for?...1, 2, 3, time's up! I reached for the lady's cloak and managed to pull the cloak off....along with part of her pretty pink dress that was torn off. She gave a scream as she backed up against the window and tried to kick me, she screamed as she ignored Link,"Midna! Don't tell me this pervert is the one you were searching for!"

"Oh, he's not exactally what I had in mind so but I guess he'll do...." Midna thought the lady was refering to Link, but she was talking about me. "What?....MATT, YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO PRINCESS ZELDA?!"

"Princess...Z-zelda?" I stammered, I looked down to see Zelda glaring up at me with her gown nearly torn. "Oh...shit."

(1) Matt's height is 6'1", only two inches shorter than Link

(2) This will explain later why Matt isn't a spirit

(3) A reference to Okami, in the game, you play as a wolf. To pass certain missions, you got to have people ride on the wolf's back, Matt's pretty hesitant with this since he's played it before

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