Derek did return a few minutes later and he drove her back to campus. She was silent the entire ride, when they pulled into the parking lot by her dorm Derek asked, "Did something happen Lucy?"

"No I just realized I really need to be productive about studying tonight. I want to be pretty much done tonight so I can go to church and stuff tomorrow," Lucy manipulated the truth.

"Well it's important to have priorities. What church do you go to?"

"Uhhh," Lucy stammered and searched her brain. It was awful but she hadn't been to church since starting school 6 weeks ago. By the time Sunday rolled around she was usually too exhausted or recovering from the ill effects of the previous nights behavior.

"I'm kind of still looking for a church," Lucy finally said.

"Well you're certainly welcome to come to church with us. We're Methodist."

"That's funny. My dad is at a nondenominational protestant church but we use a Methodist hymnal."

" Well then you will know all the songs. So what do you say? Church starts at 9."

Lucy debated. She knew going back to church would be good for her. She needed God's help and strength. "Sure, it sounds good."

"Great! I'll pick you up at 830 tomorrow morning." Derek said and he was about to kiss her but Lucy quickly turned her head and got out of the car.

Meanwhile back at the Stewart residence Kristin and Laurel were talking in her room. "You can't tell them," Laurel pleaded.

"I'm not sure I can not tell them sweetie,"

"I don't want them to know,"

"Laurel, you know this wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Your father and your brother made some wrong choices."

"But I'm a murderer,"

"No, no you're just a scared little girl."

"I didn't want to do it really. I didn't want to but they made me. They took me back to this room and they gave me this medicine that made me feel funny and go to sleep. When I woke up it was all over the baby was gone," Laurel was sobbing.

Kristin pulled her into a hug and held her. "It's alright Laurel, everything will get easier now." Laurel's sobs quieted and her breathing slowed. Gently Kristin laid her back down in bed. She adjusted the blankets and watched her sleep for a moment. Since Laurel came to live with them her parents had suspected that behind the insolence, and rage lay an abused child. Kristin had been more suspicious after witnessing Laurel's nightmares. Slowly over the past few weekends Laurel had started to tell her about her father and her brother and the things they had liked to do. Kristin thought about her confession about the abortion and knew how conflicted Laurel who had initially been raised catholic must feel. She wondered if Laurel's father had insisted on the abortion worrying about the effects of a pregnancy on his 12 year old daughter or if he merely was trying to hide the evidence of his sins.

Kristin also knew that eventually her parents and Laurel's caseworkers would need to know the truth. Perhaps though it would be alright to wait until Laurel was stronger. She wasn't in current danger and Kristin knew she would need all her energy to fight her pneumonia.

The next morning Derek picked Lucy up around 8:30 and they drove to the Methodist Church. Derek parked in the parking lot behind the church and led Lucy around to the front entrance. They slid into a pew with his grandparents and Paul. His father had led the tenor section in the choir for as long as Derek could remember. Danielle and Kati were sitting in the balcony since they were playing a flute and oboe duet during the offertory and Kristin was sitting in the choir loft preparing to play her trumpet for part of the rousing opening hymn.

The service seemed much more polished than services at her father's church had been and she was impressed that Kati not only sat quietly throughout the service but also managed to play her oboe harmoniously with Danielle. She remembered when Ruthie had been a little older than Kati their dad's church was in consideration for being televised and during the service Ruthie had inhaled a mint into her nose. Chaos had ensued and the whole family had accompanied Ruthie to the ER to have her mint removed.

The service ended with another rousing recessional hymn, which Kristin again played her trumpet for. After the invocation Lucy followed Derek from the pew to exit through the back doors of the church. What Lucy hadn't counted on was the tradition of the congregation to host several brunches at individual parishioners homes almost each Sunday after services. In typical fashion the Stewart's were once again hosting brunch and Derek just presumed Lucy would want to join them.

Lucy was trying to think of an excuse out of brunch when a very fit older woman came up to Derek. "Oh mom you are here?"

"Yes, I got a little held up at the hospital and didn't want to interrupt the service so I just joined your sisters in the balcony. They both played very well."

"Well remember I'm tone deaf but yeah it sounded good. Mom I'd like you to meet Lucy Camden. Lucy this is my mom"

Cynthia Stewart extended her hand to Lucy and limply Lucy took it. Her mind was still thinking about brunch excuses.

"Lucy is in my psychology class."

"Wonderful. Are you considering the psychology major or is this an elective for you Lucy?" Cynthia asked.

"Uhhh I'm not sure," Lucy stammered.

"Well we'll see you at home mom," Derek offered.

"Yes, will you be joining us for brunch or did you have other plans."

"No we'll be there and then I need to do some studying after brunch."

Derek and Lucy arrived back at 1872 Lilac Drive and Derek fumbled around for his garage door opener. "I hate parking in the garage but I guess I should leave room for others joining us for brunch," he explained.

As they walked up the driveway he reached for Lucy's hand and she let him take it. They reached the side patio where Matt was laying out a large spread of waffles, pancakes, quiche, fresh fruit, juice and coffee. Kristin came out with a stack of plates and Paul followed her with napkins and silverware. Lucy surveyed the patio and wondered how the two tables would accommodate the amount of people that she presumed were expected from the amount of food.

Then she saw some additional tables had been set up in the backyard. Just then Kati joined them. "May I show Lucy the back garden?" she asked.

"If Lucy would like to see the back garden you may," Matt responded plugging in the coffee urn to one of the outdoor outlets.

"Uh sure," Lucy mumbled and Kati practically dragged her from the patio to the back yard and then up into the back garden. It reminded Lucy of an old English garden the kind she had read about in novels about the Tudors. Hand laid brick paths wound through flower and vegetable beds and around a few small pools with a few hammocks and benches lining the paths. In the center of the garden was a gazebo, which led into the rose arbor.

"This is where Kristin and Paul had their wedding reception. I was their flower girl and we all came into the reception through here." They passed through the arbor and into a small orchard or apple and pear trees. "You can really eat the fruit from the trees. Do you want an apple?" Kati offered.

Lucy was tempted the apples really did look good and she reached for one from the lower branches. She handed it to Kati and then chose another for herself. "Thank you," Kati replied.

"This is one of my favorite places, I like the pool outside too with the fountain, and the indoor pool that's nice too and the skylight on the third floor you can watch the stars through the telescope,"

"It sounds cool," Lucy agreed

"Do you like my brother?" Kati asked.

"Uh sure," Lucy stammered.

"He is trying now to be a good brother. We just have to encourage him. I love him."

Lucy was really unsure how to respond to her last statement and was grateful to see Kristin approaching them. Kati saw her too and ran forward a few steps and hugged her. Kristin hugged back and whispered to Kati that her friend Gina had arrived with her parents. "Bye Lucy," Kati called as she scampered through the garden back to the patio.

"This is really nice," Lucy said when Kristin joined her.

"Yeah my dad grew up on a farm so he's used to wide spaces and tending the soil. This is kind of his best of both worlds compromise," Kristin explained. She looked at Lucy who seemed to have a weird kind of faraway look on her face.

"Luce?" she called.

Lucy could hear Kristin's voice and she wanted to answer her but she couldn't seem to get the words out. She felt weird. Kristin helped her to sit down and brought her head down between her knees. She felt trembly and sweaty she wasn't sure was happening. Kristin touched something to her lips, "Drink," she instructed.

Lucy swallowed a few times. Blech--she hated orange juice but she did feel better. Cautiously she opened her eyes. "When was the last time you ate something," Kristin asked knowingly.

"Uh I was in a hurry this morning I guess it was a mistake to skip breakfast."

"Well skipping meals is never really a good idea. Our body likes to have a steady level of glucose. But that wasn't exactly my question. Does that mean you ate dinner last night?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Lucy said. It was a bold lie and she wondered if Kristin saw right through it. She hoped not. Kristin didn't say anything more. She handed the rest of the glass of orange juice to Lucy and feeling like she was under scrutiny Lucy drank it. She tried not to think about the calories.

Lucy handed back the empty juice glass. "Come on let's go have some brunch," Kristin said cheerily. As they walked through the garden Kristin thought about what had just happened. She tried not to jump to conclusions but she had a feeling that things weren't as easily explained as one missed meal.

She rejoined her husband as Lucy found Derek talking to a few people by the pool. The sun was hitting the water and the bottom of the stone pool just right it looked beautiful. Derek introduced her to his friends and then they went to get brunch. As they filled their plates at the buffet Lucy hoped Derek wouldn't want to sit near Kristin and Paul. But luck was not hers as he led her to a table in the backyard where Paul and Kristin were sitting. Glumly Lucy resigned herself that she would have to eat something. Then Kristin would hopefully forget all about the earlier incident.

After lunch Derek drove her home, he walked her to her door where he kissed her. Lucy melted but regained composure slightly as she walked through the door. For a few minutes she was lost in her happy world of being in love and she really thought she was with Derek. Somehow he would be different than Jimmy, or Rod, or Jordan, or Jeremy. Things would really work out.

Unfortunately even love was not enough to distract Lucy from the uncomfortable feeling of having food in her stomach. She paced around her room trying to talk herself out of it but eventually she found herself kneeling in front of the toilet in their suite bathroom. As she recovered post purge she realized the last time she had made herself vomit was the night before she had left for college. At first she had been proud of her ability to stop purging however she had to admit that she had been using more and more laxatives. In some ways it was actually a relief to have broken her no purging streak.

The next day Lucy arrived at Daly Hall for their exam. She was surprised at how easy the test seemed as she cruised through the 100 question multiple-choice exam. She handed in her exam and skipped out of the auditorium. As she walked home she wondered if Derek would call.