A/N: Okay so I'm pretty much through with the corporal things as fears. Considering I can't really think of that many more besides things like heights. And honestly I don't see Jenny being afraid of that many 'corporal' things.

This is for Bestofrafa and all my other reader's/ reviewer's. Bestofrafa thanks for reminding me about this. I've had this chapter written for a while I've just forgotten to post it.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS

Shortly after her twenty-six birthday Jennifer Shepard walked into her childhood home, coming to see her father. It had been a normal day, she'd gone to her classes she was completing in law school, and now she wanted to see if her father would liked to eat dinner together.

She still remembers like it was yesterday. How the sun had been out, and a nice breeze had been blowing. Not to sound too cliché, but birds had been chirping and the flowers had been in bloom.

It had been a great day.

"Dad," she still remembers calling out. And not getting any answer she'd made her way to the closed door by the staircase. The door that led to her father's study, where she'd expected to see him asleep on the couch.

Time should've slowed down. She should've had this instinctive gut feeling that something was wrong. But she hadn't.

Her 'gut' wouldn't develop until years later. Under the guidance of a certain man she'd yet to meet at the time.

So she'd opened the heavy wooden door, and promptly screamed. Because her father's body was the first dead body she ever saw. Slumped over his desk, blood was everywhere.

She slammed the door.

Called the cops.

And threw up.

The cops came, they questioned her, found a gun in her father's hand, and made her get checked out by paramedics. She was sedated, woke up alone a day later, and her father was still dead.

CID investigated. They took the easier route, called her father a traitor. They branded him weak and spineless, said it was suicide because he was suspect of an investigation she knew nothing about.

She stayed in the hospital for a week. CID came in to question her over and over again, every day. She stayed mute each and every day without fail, and on the sixth day an investigator left his file by her bedside while he went to the restroom.

She didn't hesitate for a second. She opened it, and saw the words that would determine the course her life would take from then on.

Navy.

Arms dealer.

Bribery.

La Grenouille.

She was let out of the hospital the next day.

In the next week she attended her own father's funeral, alone. There was no gravestone in Arlington with his name on it, no Taps playing in the background, no twenty-one gun salute, and no folded flag handed to her on one knee.

There was no honor for men that were branded traitors.

Bribery takers.

The month after that; she made a five point plan, dropped out of law school, and enrolled in FLETC. And a little over a year later she was being assigned to the MCRT at NCIS.

She'd catapulted her life into overdrive from the moment she'd opened that study door.

Sometimes in the dead of night when she's pondering how her life turned out. She thinks that things could've been different if all those years ago, the day she'd discovered her father's body, she'd had Jethro by her side.

If at the funeral where she'd sat in a cold folding chair by herself, she'd had him by her side.

Maybe things could've been different.

Maybe she could've gotten the guts to tell him herself. Instead of him finding out because of her emotional breakdown.

It wasn't as if he would hate her for it. Think she was broken and damaged and want nothing to do with her because of it. No, that wasn't the case at all.

Plain and simple, it was about her being afraid. Because in Paris-Europe while the government and Morrow used them to do their bidding. They'd gone to places that were dark and scary, but Jethro had never been afraid because he'd been in and seen worse scenarios.

Jethro did the dirty work. Completed the tasks that needed to be done to get them home alive. Then at night her partner who thought he was Superman was plagued by nightmares.

And waking only brought torturing memories.

Jethro was broken also, but she loved him for it.

While he twisted fitfully in the sheets at night, she'd stroke his hair. Would press cool kisses on his face, and whisper in his ear that she was there.

When he woke up and the darkness threatened to overcome their rare happy times. She'd grab him by the hair and kiss him soundly, nibble at his throat, and whisper something in his ear that would make him laugh.

Each time Jethro would hold her closer, wrap his arms tighter around her, and bury his head in the crook of her neck.

Jethro relied on her to keep him sane.

During those times of tension in Europe, he depended on her to make him happy again. To not have a secret in her past that would make her eyes cloud over with troubles.

That was what Jethro needed her for.

Now, she's sitting in the chair behind the desk that she sacrificed so much for.

And he's sitting across from her.

Calling her out on the past. Asking her what La Grenouille ever did to her. All because somewhere in between Marseilles and here, she managed to loose herself so completely.

Vaguely she thinks it was Paris when she left him, and consequently destroyed both of their sanity so thoroughly.

But now he wants to know, what it is that drives her. Wants her to admit to him that she's not as complete and whole as she made him believe.

And damn how she does she not want to tell him.

So she thanks him, for always having her back. Because one day soon she knows that can could change in the blink of an eye. He could not want anything to do with her anymore because he found out.

Yea she's was scared of him finding out. Because Jethro needed her to be whole.

And if he ever found out what really lay in her past. What deep dark secret she was really hiding. If he ever learned that what he needed her to be, she wasn't.

Then he wouldn't need her anymore.

And she didn't think she could live with that.

A/N: Really short I know. But I couldn't think on how to make this one longer. I plan on doing two more after this. They are probably going to be just as short. It's also confusing I'm sure. But it's kinda of centered on how Jenny doesn't want Gibbs learning about her obsession.

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