I was lost in a train of thought. My eyes were focused on the wall. My arms at my side. I wasn't breathing. I wasn't focusing on anything my family was talking about. Just re-running the last hour. The things he had said. My reactions. His expressions. The precious face of my little angel shivering in the cold. And the sentences that shook me the most.
"I don't care! She was your responsibility to take care of. You can't even do that right. And she's your own granddaughter! How horrible!" The words screamed louder and louder in my head. My eyes closed a little every time I heard that sentence. When my eyes were finally shut, The voice was screamed loudest and the vision of the blue shivering angel flooded my head. I could hardly take it. I felt like screaming also, but I could not manage to get any words threw my tightly ran mouth. Then the screams turned louder and louder. I knew I couldn't take anymore. All other thoughts were drowned out. All senses off smell, taste, feel, hear, and sight were gone. All that was left was that one over powering sentence. And I knew it told the awful truth. I finally decided to end this horrible torture. The screams were more like bloody, high pinched painful screams. The most excruciating I have ever witnessed. It burned me. I flung up my stone-cold marble hands to clutch my head. Almost wanting to rip my hair out.
"No. No. I can't take it! Please stop! Please!" I screamed, trying to drown it out. It wasn't working. They were even more high pinched. I snapped my teeth apart, still clutching my head.
"Please! I really can't take it. It's going to be the death of me! I'm sorry! What can I say, What can I do! This is excruciating!" I felt the pain in my back. Also, I felt many hands on me. Two on my hands. On my right shoulder, one on my left. And shaking. Lots of motion. This was good…I think. Was coming back to my planet. To my body, to my family.
"Carlisle! Carlisle!" A voice called. It was my wife. I tried to pry my eyes apart. I could feel the shaking stop. Then go again. Hands were clutching mine. Trying to pull them away. From my head. I loosened my grip from my head. Letting the other pair take hold. The voice inside my head was quieting now. I felt a little better. The hands patted mine. The shaking started to slow.
"Carlisle? Carlisle, dear. Are you ok?" Esme's voice was concerned. I forced my eyes to open. Only to find 7 pairs of dark eyes looking straight into me. The closet was my loving wife. My hands were n hers. All of a sudden I felt calm again. I stared at jasper.
"well you seem tense." He smirked. I was still shocked though. Esme pulled me to her. I finally was able to breathe again. I inhaled a large gulp of air. By then Esme had me in her arms. She was sitting next to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and lied her head on my right one. I just sat there, Still gathering myself. The rest of my family were still staring at me. I took another unneeded gasp of air.
"mommy?" Renesmee voice rung. "mommy. What happened? Why is grandpa just sitting there? What was that noise?" then I noticed she was in the hallway opening, staring at me with wide eyes. Her voice was a little hoarse. I remembered the sentence again. And the vision of the blue girl shivering on the steps. I started to zone out again. The sentence got louder.
"no."I whispered. "no. please" Still zoning out.
"Bella. Put Renesmee to bed, please." Edward's voice seemed like a whisper to me. I knew it was louder, though. I clenched my teeth harder and rolled my hands into tight fists, bracing myself for what was next. There was shaking again. This time, the voice didn't get to scream as loud. I could hear everything clearly again.
"god he's almost a mush ball as Bella!" Emmett' voice whispered into Alice's ear. Alice glared at him.
"cut it out. He's not deaf!" she hit him on the shoulder.
"Carlisle?" Rosalie's voice rang into the air. I tried to move, but didn't want to. "Carlisle. What's the matter?"
"He's reliving the sentence Jacob said to him. I don't wish to say it because he will zone out again. I'll tell you later." Edward whispered. Rosalie nodded. Esme had shifted herself onto my arm.
"Calm now." She soothed. I felt calm, but it wasn't right. I felt odd. More out of place then calm really. I took yet another deep breath. I looked around at the family surrounding me. Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Bella now, and my Esme. They all let out a whoosh of relief. I turned my head to look at Esme. Her eyes were on me already. She sighed. I finally broke out of my statue stance and hugged her. She smiled.
"nice to see you again." Esme said looking around the room. "this is your family. Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett. I am your wife, Esme." She smiled more.
"Ha-ha." I whispered.
"Thank god you're ok. We didn't know what to do! Not even Jasper could calm you down. You are ok, right?" I recognized the voice. It was Rosalie's. I sighed.
"y-yes. Just got a little loud in my head before. I am quite alright now." I tried to smile. My back was aching now. More than before.
"Sooo…you up for shopping Thursday?" Alice's pixie voice rung. Esme hissed at her. "guess not…" her voice was disappointed.
"well see…" I smirked. I didn't want to disappoint her. The sentence in my head was stopping now. Still keeping its existence. I kept my eyes on Esme. Her burning amber eyes full of worry were focused on mine still. She always has been worrying. Ever since I met her. I decided to get up. I was going to, but I felt something hold my leg. I looked at the hand. It was Esme's.
"no, dear. You'll hurt yourself again." She smiled. I sat back down though.
"I just would like to stretch my legs, darling. But alright. If you insist, dear." She was still smiling. It wasn't long before Edward turned the stereo on. I recognized the song.
"amore!" Edward smiled. He acted like he was dancing Spanish style. Bella laughed. My family was scattered across the room now. Esme smiled. It was our favorite song. After the first couple verses I was feeling better. The sentence in my head was just a whisper now. It didn't take long before I started to smile. Esme looked at Edward and Bella.
"its Italian." Esme corrected.
"so?" Bella stared at him. Then turned to face me.
"Carl-" she began. Before she could finish, Edward had whisked her into his arms. His smile was large. Then sat her upright and began circling the room with her in his arms. They were both smiling. It wasn't long before Alice jumped up. She danced alone for a little while.
"Common Jazz. Let's not be a party pooper!" she grabbed jasper's hand. They also started. They were fast. Jasper twirled her around and around.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" she said. This made me laugh. Esme sat there smiling.
"Hey ya old monkey! I wanna dance to!" Rosalie said slapping Emmett. Emmett laughed. He got up and held his hands out.
"May I have this dance, Beautiful?" Rose laughed.
"that's more like it." She kissed him. He was kissing back. Emmett's hand was behind Rosalie's neck. Bella and Edward rushed in front of them, slapping his hand.
"Hey man! Oh I'm gonna get you now!" Him and Rosalie started twirling also.
"when the world seems to shine when you had to much wine. That's Amore!" The speakers sang. I couldn't take it. I decided to forget my aches, and give my wife happiness. I shot up, grabbing her arm as I did.
"Carlisle!" she exclaimed. I ignored her. I swung her up into a dancing position.
"Don't tell me no." I smiled. She laughed. I was in a pretty good mood now. I was afraid we would wake Renesmee. But I didn't pay much attention. The room started spinning around us. Air washed threw my hair. And pulled hers into her eyes. I pushed it away. Now I could see her full face.
"Whoa." I sighed.
"what?" Esme smiled. I kissed her, stopping at the same time. Her amber hair whooshed into both of our faces. I laughed, still kissing her. She laughed also. I felt my back ache. I ignored it. I didn't want anything to spoil this wonderful moment. At the same time this happened, my favorite verse came along.
" When you dance in the street with a cloud at your feet, You're in love." We were always on a cloud. I felt like I was also always in love with her. How much I adored her. I think this song told me how much. I couldn't believe it, after all what has happened today, I felt like the happiest person alive. Technically I was, without the human thing. It was the last verse. But I heard it start again. I noticed that not as many winds were blowing us as it did.
" I need a minute, babe." Emmett sighed, I could tell he was joking. He really didn't like this song. Rosalie sighed.
"just a minute!" Emmett wined. Me and Esme were still kissing.
"Hey, old man. Break it up!" Emmett laughed. I turned away to face him. So did Esme. We smiled and chuckled. Then I turned back at her face. Her bright pearly teeth were still visible. This made my smile widen. I took off dancing again. Spinning her as fast as I could. We were going alarminingly fast. But I never paid attention to anything nor anyone else. Just her. Just now. Just like I would 52,000,000 years from now. I was happy. She was to, I would guess. Unless her brilliant, radiant smile was just a prop. Her hair was twirling everywhere. We traveled around the room faster, and faster. Like a tornado. She laid her head on my shoulder. I snuggled my face into her hair.
"vita Bella." She sighed.
"amore."I sighed after her. Oh how I loved her. The music slowed. So did we. Soon, the music was over. She looked up at me. I smiled, hesitating to take my head off her hair.
"It's about time." Edward said. "we played that song over 100 times! All night." He was smiling. So was everyone else in our family. I felt embarrassed. I think Esme was also. I looked at her. Edward burst out laughing again.
"Don't be embarrassed, Carlisle. You neither, Esme." He smirked. I took Esme's hand. She pulled me onto the couch. The sun was rising.
"Have we really been dancing that long?" I asked.
"yes. And it was sooo romantic!"Alice sighed. She looked at us with loving eyes. She sat on the back of the couch. Her elbow on her leg, and her hand holding her chin.
"Ya you wish, Alice" Edward chuckled. Alice gave him a glance. I sighed. I tried to get back up but my back ached again. I winced. I decided to stay down.
"Why don't you lie down, Carlisle. It might take the stress off your back." Edward informed. I sighed. I didn't want him to say that.
"See. I told you that you would hurt yourself more!" Esme scolded. I got up this time. I groaned. Esme pulled me back down. Owe.
"Esme. Sweetie. I'm fine, really." I hesitated.
"No Carlisle. Ly down." She scooted over. Then patted her lap. She wanted me to put my head on it. I did what she asked, knowing if I declined, she would just annoy me until I did what she asked. Carefully, I lied down.
"That's it, dear." She sighed. She stroked my hair. I saw Alice blank out right before I laid down.
"what are you seeing, Alice?" I asked looking up towards the ceiling.
"ummm. Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute outside?" She grabbed Bella's arm and ran out n a flash. Edward was frowning now. Esme looked angshiusly at him. He met her gaze, he ran outside towards Bella and Alice. I heard a creak in the wooden floorboards.
"M-mommy." A little voice scattered. "Mommy, I don't feel good." I shot up. Out of Esme's loving hands, and ran to her. Kneeling down on one knee.
"What's wrong, Sweaty?" I asked putting a hand on her shoulder.
"my t-throat." She sighed rubbing the front of her neck. Then Bella ran in.
"Oh." She muttered. Edward followed her in a second. Putting his hand on her shoulder. I felt my happiness fade. Alice walked in then.
"oh no." she scooted next to jasper. Jasper took her hand.
"Get me my bag. Please." I turned around, looking at my family. Esme was frozen on the couch. She then ran up to me. I stared at her. Alice glided off the couch and ran into my room.
"This is all my fault. Jacob was right. I am horrible." I laid my head down on my hands
"That's not true grandpa!" Renesmee cried. He came over and hugged me, sniffling her nose. I thought about the sentence again. What was just merely a whisper, was in a talking-volume now. It felt as though it was going to get louder again. Alice returned to my side with my leather bag. She kneeled down beside me. Esme put her and on my shoulder. I let go of Renesmee. Her cheeks were red.
"Thank you, Alice." I said quietly. Then kissed the gentle hand on my marble shoulder. It curled back, leaving my lips. I turned my head towards Renesmee. I placed a thermometer under her tough. She took a deep breath. She looked at me.
"Are you tired, sweaty?" I asked. She shook her head once. "Alright." I pulled the thermometer out of her mouth. It read 103 degrees F. I gave it to Bella.
"rinse this off for me, please." She took it. I sighed. It was pretty normal for that temperature to be in her body. The sink water ran.
"alright sweetheart. Let's get you to bed." I picked her up. She was trembling. "I'm sorry I'm so cold." I looked down at her.
"don't blame yourself for this. Pease. It will make me feel bad." She was staring into my eyes.
"anything, my princess." She liked the word princess. She smiled. I opened the door to her room. Then lay her down on the bed covered in blankets. Her growth had been slowing. She looked like an average 8 year old. In reality, she was 4. I heard footsteps behind the door as I tucked her in.
"Daddy will bring you some tissues and a glass of orange juice. When you feel better we will do something really fun. But you have to get some sleep now, darling." She nodded then closed her eyes. I pulled her top blankets over her. She would be warm now.
"common Carlisle." Esme's voice dazzled my name as she pulled her arm into mine. Then we walked down the long hallway towards my extravagant family. Bella was already bringing the tissues and juice to Renesmee. That's when IT happened…