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Chapter 3

August 2003

BPOV

The wind whipped across the tundra like waves across a beach, searching and probing and swirling relentlessly through the night, carrying snow and ice and soft whining noises all set under the hard gaze of countless stars circling above. I ran through the snow, across the ice, above the lakes, always seeking, always running, always attuned to each and every sound, every living creature hidden in this wasteland.

A bit of a scent, the muffled hammering of a heartbeat against the backdrop of the roaring of the wind and I was off. My legs powering me forward in long, quick strides, overjoyed with the grace and speed while I started to growl and a snarl started to build and the scent became stronger and the heartbeat drowned all else and I once again bunched my muscles and with everything I had I drove myself upwards and I

My eyes flashed open. Oh no, not again, not again. I sat up, startled, panting, and nostrils flaring. Every week, sometimes twice a week, sometimes even a two week break but then they returned. These damned dreams that were more alive, more sensuous then my real life, drawing me in and then dumping me back on my bed with a snarl in my throat and a burning when I breathed. The only thing new is no more forests. It was all cold, frozen, vast expanses of sky and frozen breath in my nose.

What was I in these dreams? An animal? I mean, I know I'm not human but what? I took a few deep breaths and wandered over to my laptop, pulling up Google. On a whim, I decided to see what I would get when I typed in "wolf dreams."

"The wolf is often a symbol of loneliness or predator behavior in dreams. If you dream of a wolf, you are probably in a situation where you lack friendship or companionship."

Well duh. Simple explanation. I could live with a few dreams now and again, right?

Looks like I'd have to, because all through my high school years they were regular visitors at night. I almost grew to expect them; I started to wonder if I'd miss them.

* * *

June 2005

I woke on the morning of June 20th to a surprisingly sunny sky and warm breezes blowing through my window. It was finally here - graduation. At long last, time to leave Forks and enter the next chapter of my life. My life itself hadn't changed, my world was the same, including the dreams – my constant companion. But I was going to be charging across the country, a full scholarship to Cornell, 4 years in Ithaca, New York and the school of my dreams. Medical research was at the end of my studies, I just knew it. A place to immerse myself and devote myself and find passion and still, yet still, remain unto myself. It was my dream, and I was finally taking the first step towards living it.

Charlie had insisted I attend the HS graduation ceremony, which was absurd but I guess after 2 years of not harassing me about living my life in my room and school I'd give him this before I left. Feeling incredibly awkward as I hung out towards the back of the line, students giggled and shouted and bounced all around me while I quietly stood there, complete in myself and praying no one would talk to me. I shouldn't have had to pray – after two years they all knew better and it wasn't going to change tonight.

Charlie and I had a quiet celebratory dinner and when we got home I did what I always did – trudged up the stairs to my room. I sighed softly as I thought about it, how painless it was because nothing really touched me anyway. Only one thing had ever touched me, or someone I should say. It was the only time my heart raced and my adrenaline kicked in, and it happened only twice, and both times happened within a two hour span, and then it never happened again. I pushed aside the memory as I folded the gown, put the cap on the top shelf of my closet, and got ready for a long hot shower and a good night's sleep. Maybe I'll be a wolf again tonight. It was a comforting thought. I wonder if I'd still be the wolf when I left for Cornell or if this was a stupid Forks thing.

For the first time no rush tonight, just softly walking through the moonlit trees, searching for something, as if something is out there just beyond my reach, just beyond my senses. Head swinging from side to side as I walk without a whisper of sound, weaving through the trees and ferns on heightened alert, listening, scenting the air, looking, trying to feel for it. For the first time in two years I'm back in the forest and I'm reveling in the exotic scents and timeless droning of insects and the soft ground beneath my feet.

I wander aimlessly, unable to find it, searching, searching, until I come across a pool, a dark forest pool bathed in moonlight. I tip toe to it, careful, feeling as if a pivotal point has been reached, as if this is what I have been searching for all this time. Would I finally see myself as wolf? Learn my color, see my fur sparkle in the moonlight? Slowly, quietly, I approach the calm, reflective pool, until I reach the edge. I was breathing faster, anxiety starting to rise as I leaned towards my reflection, and I closed my eyes and leaned a bit more, and a bit more, and when I was over the pool I slowly opened my eyes to finally see the wolf, after two years of dreams I'd finally see it.

It was my own gasp that woke me. Surprise, shock, totally unexpected, a sense of being wrenched outside my body and suddenly everything I thought I knew I didn't. Because as I opened my eyes and stared into the pool instead of a wolf I saw a moonlit, backlit form…wildly disheveled hair and broad shoulders and tall, slim build and it was suddenly familiar yet it wasn't but it wasn't me and it wasn't the wolf but at the same time it WAS me and at the same time it wasn't, but whatever it was reacted as I reacted, started as I started, gasped when I gasped, breathed in compulsively and wildly and then I was awake.

And all that was left behind was a gasping breath and a scent. A scent of sun and honey and man that I took in, in my dream, and that was still covering my hands as I sat up in my bed, eyes wild, hands in front of my face, panting madly, and completely awake.

EPOV

It was her! Has it been her all along, these last two years? This is not possible, this simply is not possible!

I sat back, falling away from the pool as I scanned the forest, feeling fear for the first time in all my years. I was tempted to lean over and look again but I could not bring myself to move. Thoughts darting wildly, out of control, and I am NEVER out of control.

Well, only once…only once. And when my panic slowly subsided I noticed something else. My nostrils flared slightly, a scent around me. Lifting my hands I stared at them and then slowly raised them to my face. Flowers. My hands smelled of flowers. Freesias, to be exact.

A/N Welcome again, and remember... chapter by chapter playlists can be found in Lilliput's story submission.

Chapters 1-3 will post tonight, chapter 4 tomorrow night, and then chapters 5 and 6 on Thursday and Friday nights. Thereafter, we will be posting a chapter each evening, M-F.

Please review, and thank you for reading!