Chapter III | Trapped Between the Lines

Kieran gripped Christian's hand as they rolled the stretcher into the hospital. They were going to fast that he was running along with it. But when they got to the A & E he was pushed away from the stretcher. "Christian! Please!" He was pushed back away from the doors, towards the chairs. "Please! Please just make sure he's okay, please." He begged as the nurse pushed him down in the chair.

After that Kieran was left alone, sitting in the chair and fiddling with his bloodied hands as he waited. There was nothing he could do but wait and make sure that he was going to be okay.

Sighing softly he brought his hands up and grabbed his orange hair, rocking in his seat. He had been alone for hours before someone said something to him.

"Excuse me?"

Green eye moved over to a brunet man with an IV stand. "Who are you?" Kieran asked as he looked over at him. Ste shifted a little and moved to hold out a hand to him. "I'm Ste. I uh—I heard Christian was in the A & E."

"Oh." He sighed a little and smiled over at him, holding out a hand to shake his. "Kieran Collie. You're Christian's half-brother or step-brother. I can't remember what he said."

Ste had to chew the inside of his cheek to keep from frowning and giving anything away. Of course Brendan had to lie. He couldn't tell them who he was or he'd end up in prison. Bren couldn't do prison. He remembered that from last time.

"Yeah, Ste Hay. Is—Is he okay? Fight went bad?"

Kieran nodded to him as he looked back over at his hands, then the door. "Really bad. I don't know what was going on with him, it was like he couldn't t'ink straight. His hand shattered, t'en t'e other guy hit him in the face really hard."

Ste moved and sat down next to him. "He'll be okay." He whispered to Kieran who looked over at him. "I've known him for a really long time. There's nothing so bad, that he won't come out on top. He's been to prison, blown up, shot, abused. And he's survived it all. This won't kill him. He'll come back stronger than ever."

Kier tilted his head to the side and gently placed his hand over his. "T'ank you fer that. You two musta been real close?"

Swallowing hard, he stared at the ginger's hand over his and nodded. "I know him better than anyone." He replied, lifting his head up a bit to look over at him. "Definitely my best mate."

The other man smiled and nodded as he looked over at him. "I love him a lot. It's nice to talk to someone who knew him before he moved away. Came back to Ireland I mean."

Ste stared at him and opened his mouth to say something but the door opened and both men looked up. Brendan walked out and smiled at the both of them, cast over his hand. "Hey."

Kieran pulled himself up and ran over to him, wrapping his arms around him tight. He gripped his shoulder and pressed his lips against Brendan's. "Don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me, Christian Connolly?"

He nodded absently, staring over at Ste who looked really uncomfortable. "I—Yeah. I'm sorry."

"You're okay?" He asked, taking a step back to look him over.

"Aye. Bruise and a shattered hand." He said raising his left hand that had a cast over it. "Steven?"

Ste looked over at him, giving him a soft smile. "Hey. Alright?"

He nodded a little. "I'm still going to take you home tomorrow. I can't fight for about six months anyways."

"Wait what?" Kieran looked over at him and raised a brow. "Whatcha mean?"

"Erm—He needs someone to go home with him. Watch him for a bit get better. Only family he's got, my place to do it." Brendan explained, eyes shifting from Kieran to Ste.

"Well—I'll come with." The ginger smiled brightly at him and then turned to Ste. "This one can barely take care of himself, especially with a broken hand. He'll need just as much help as you will. I want to get to know you more anyways, Ste. If t'at's okay with you?"

He looked slightly panicked at the thought of someone else being there. Not just him and Brendan, like it should have been. Like it should always be. But Kieran was right. With a broken hand he wouldn't be able to do everything he use to, and if someone wasn't there to watch him he would only push himself and make everything worse. "I—um… no, I don't mind. It's a good idea." He replied as he looked over at Brendan then lowered his head. "I'm going to head back to my room. Ste turned and started and Brendan felt his heart leap into his chest.

"Wait—Ste I'll stay with you tonight, Kier, that okay?" He asked looking down at the ginger who nodded to him.

"Yeah. I'll go home and pack for us. Meet you back here tomorrow."

Brendan nodded to him and started after Ste, only to stop when Kieran grabbed his wrist.

"Hey—I love you Chris."

He looked over at him and nodded, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "You too. I'll see you tomorrow." He left Kieran there and walked fast after Ste, not even looking back at the ginger. He didn't want to see the hurt on his face. He knew it was there and he couldn't bear to know he caused it.

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"Steven." Brendan followed after him into his room, shutting the door behind him as they both walked in. "Steven, please let me explain—"

A glass flew across the room and shattered against the door, barely missing Brendan by a few centimeters. "Whoa! Come on!"

"You lied to me Brendan! You lied! You said there was so one and that—Kieran is obviously in love with you! How could you do that?! How could you tell me didn't have a boyfriend?!"

"Will you let me explain?!" He shouted back at him stepping away from the glass on the floor, moving over to Ste and gently gripping his shoulders to keep him from walking away from him. "Kier and I are together yeah—"

"I knew it! Brendan, you—"

"Will you shut up and let me finish?!" He snapped and watched as Ste jerked a little at his voice. God that was Déjà vu. Brendan sighed and lightly squeezed his shoulders. "I was never going to see you again. I wasn't supposed to, I told myself I was done hurting you, I was going to let you move on and find someone you deserved since I couldn't give it to you."

"So—what? You tried to replace me?"

"Exactly. T'at's exactly it. He helped me so much. Got me a flat, took care of me after I was shot, helped me train and get a job. I do love him." He explained as he looked over Steven's face before gently pressing his lips against his. "Just not the way I love you." He whispered as he brought his good hand up to cup Ste's face. "I would do anything for you. Even going away, just because I t'ought it would help."

"Brendan… we know that doesn't though, remember Dublin?"

A small smile slipped across his face at the memory, and when he saw Ste smile too, it made him smile more. "Yes I remember. But this was different. If the police knew I was alive, I was going to prison for life, and I wouldn't survive. I couldn't and you know t'at. So I did what I t'ought was best for both of us. And I'm sorry."

Steven sighed a little and touched his face. "What are you going to do? He loves you Bren."

The Irishman nodded lightly to him. "I know he does. I need time to—t'ink it over and figure out how I'm going to tell him. Right now we do need him. Because I have to take care of you, but I can't do it without him. Okay? I'll tell him after we're better."

Ste nodded to him as he looked up at Brendan, lightly touching his face. "Okay. Just—try not to hurt him too much? He seems like a really nice guy."

"I don't want to hurt him. He's very kind. Very sweet. But—I t'ink he'll understand… or I hope he will." Brendan sighed a little and kissed him once more, sweet and soft, trying not to make it too heated. He gently patted his side and nodded. "Back in bed with you. Need rest."

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"I'm uh—I'm living at Brendan's old place." Ste muttered from the back seat, looking over at the review mirror. Brendan looked up and quirked a brow.

"What happened to your place?" He asked pulling into Hollyoak village. He felt so tense being back here. But he had everything he needed to prove he wasn't Brendan. He could lie and say they were twins if he needed to, but he didn't think anyone would care as long as his license said he was Christian Connolly.

"A bomb went off. Blew the whole thing up. Doug came in to get me out but—more of the ceiling collapsed on us. We passed out and he—he died."

The Irishman slammed on the break of the car, jerking everyone forward. Kieran glared at him but Bren ignored him and turned to look at Ste. "He died? Steven—I'm so sorry. I didn't know that." He frowned a little as Ste shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window. Brendan turned and looked at Kieran. "Doug was Steven's husband." The ginger's face softened a little and he nodded.

He turned in his seat and leaned against it, moving his hand to lay on Brendan's knee, giving him a soft smile, but it faded when the Irishman pulled his leg away from his hand.

"Sorry, just—gotta remember where it is." He whispered to him. The ginger only nodded and looked away from him. Brendan was already feeling guilty about it. He looked in the mirror and Ste shook his head at him. The older man sighed a little and looked back at the road as the pulled up, parking the car. Brendan turned it off and reached over to open the door, getting out and looking over at where his club had been, someone else owned it now.

Turning he moved and grabbed the door handle for Ste and let him out before heading to the boot to held Kieran get the bags.

"Christian. Are you okay?"

Brendan grabbed his back and looked over at him. "I—It's the pain meds, sweetheart. Make an angry man angrier."

"But you aren't angry. Are you? Did I do something?"

"What? No—Kier. You're a lamb." He said with a soft smile as he touched his face. God he wished he didn't have to lead him on like this, but he had to make it seem like they were okay why they were here. Why they needed him. So Brendan leaned over and pressed his lips against his softly. "It's not you. Just need some rest in a bed and then I'll be feeling better. Come on." He said with a smile as he took his hand and his bag, heading up the stairs being Ste, Kieran trailing after him.

When they went inside, it was scary how different everything looked. The walls had been painted, no longer the bright pink that Lynsey and his sister had pained them. But he could still remember everything. Every person he had been with. Every kiss, every laugh, every cry, playing games with Deccy and Joel. Cooking with his sister. Finding Lynsey. He covered his mouth and swallowed hard, feeling his eyes burn.

"Christian? Christian what's wrong?"

"I—erm…"

"It's Brendan. I'm—I'm sure he just misses him." Ste piped up as he looked over Brendan's face, knowing what it really was that was hurting him. It wasn't his home anymore.

"Yeah—yeah, that's it. Steven, let's get you settled, then I'm going to lay down for a while. Kier—I'm sure we need some food and stuff, do you wanna take the car and go get some groceries? We can manage for a little while alone."

Kier reached out slowly and took the keys from his hand, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Alright. Text me if you need anything. Just an hour or two okay? Maybe I'll bring home take away, a movie? Ste up for it?"

Steven smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah. Thank you."

The ginger smiled and kissed Brendan again. "I'll see you in a bit." He slipped out of the flat and shut the door. After a few seconds both Ste and Brendan exhaled.

"Do you have to lead him on like that?"

Brendan looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm still trying to think of something to tell him."

"I know he's a nurse and we do need him, but Brendan—I don't know. It's hard seeing you—with someone else."

"Now you know how I felt with you and Douglas."

Ste opened his mouth like he wanted to retort but shut it and looked down at his feet. He was right. It probably was how Brendan felt when he was with Doug. Not-so-quietly seething. "Yeah. Alright, fair enough." He turned and started up the stairs.

Brendan turned and wandered to his bedroom. It still looked the same. Nothing had been taken away or moved and it made him smile a little as he looked through the clothes and CDs. The Irishman moved and flopped onto the bed with a groan, kicking his shoes away. He stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking to himself, only to look up when the door creaked open. He half expected to see Chez. But it was Ste. "Hey. You okay?" Bren sat up and looked over him for a long moment.

The younger man slowly moved over to him, lifting his hand to shift Brendan's long dark hair from his eyes, then skimming his hand down to his cheek. Blue eyes watched each other's.

Before Brendan knew what was happening his lips were pressed against Ste's, arms wrapping around him as he planted himself into his lap. The kiss was just like the ones they use to have. Hard, passionate. Breathtaking.

The kissing escalated to clothes being shed, and both being tangled in the sheets.