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Chapter 3

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Watchtower Infirmary

Zatanna ran her hands over the hilt of the dagger, a silent incantation on her lips. One minute she had been on monitor duty when Flash appeared, picked her up without saying a word and in a blur next thing she knew she was standing before the inert form of Diana who was surrounded by a lot of drawn and concerned faces.

She could tell by Bruce's body language whatever it was it was bad, and she shouldn't ask any questions, she should just get to work… so that's what she did.

Sensing the mastery level of the magic used, a sensation she had felt not that long ago, Zatanna knew the witch who had most likely cast the spell over Diana was Circe. The thought made Zatanna's stomach churn as it was only a short while ago that she and the others had joked about what Circe had done to Diana and now here she was fighting for her life, again because of that witch.

"Circe" It was more of a statement then it was a question

"Yes"

The crackle of anguish in Bruce's voice nearly crumbled Zatanna's heart inside her chest, she knew how much Bruce loved Diana, the only woman who had ever been able to get, nearly effortlessly through all the walls and barriers he'd put up around himself.

"Can you do anything Zee?" Flash asked, hoping against hope just this once it would be that easy. However, when he saw the distress on Zatanna's face he knew it wasn't going to be.

"No, I'm sorry." she replied hanging her head, the feeling of failure washing over her in waves.

"Circe is a powerful witch, far more powerful than I am, but…"

"But what, Zatanna? Do you know of something that can help Diana?"

Clark asked his own pain seeping through into his voice

"I think part of the spell is an illusion." Zatanna stated as she once again ran her hands over the dagger, wanting to be sure in her assumption

"What do you mean, an illusion?"

"You said every time you try and pull the dagger out it causes Diana pain?"

"More like extreme agony" replied Leslie, who in all her years of practicing medicine, even the times she'd had to patch Bruce up, she had never experienced anything like what she was seeing with Diana right now.

"We cannot treat the wound and Diana cannot heal if the dagger cannot be removed" J'onn added

"It's part of the spell, well actually it's a separate spell but it's meant to keep you from removing the dagger."

"So, what do we do?" asked a confused Leslie

"Pull it out" Zatanna stated matter of factly

"What?"

"We can't"

"Are you crazy?"

Nearly every occupant in the room erupted at her with some form of astonishment, nearly everyone that is, except Bruce. He simply stood there, his eyes never leaving Zatanna's, who he trusted without hesitation, if she said this was what they needed to do then they needed to do it.

"Do it"

"Bats!"

"Batman…" Clark admonished from the other side of Diana's bed, he knew Bruce trusted Zatanna but now he didn't think his best friend was in any position to be making such decisions where Diana was concerned, his was far too emotional and yet, he hadn't waivered in his assertion. "Are you sure?"

"If Zatanna says it's what we need to do then it's what we need to do"

"We have no way of knowing…." Leslie started but was quickly cut off by Bruce

"Do any of you have any experience in magic?" He asked looking at each occupant in the room, who either shook their heads or averted their gaze from his altogether "I didn't think so." He chided before turning to Zatanna, "How do we do this?"

Zatanna swallowed hard under his unnerving gaze, "Just pull it out, Circe knows us, she knows we'll stop if it's causing Diana pain"

"She is using our own humanity against us"

"Yes"

"Ok then, Superman please switch sides with J'onn and be ready to hold her down again. J'onn I'll need you on this side to put pressure on the wound after I remove the dagger" Leslie commanded as she switched into doctor mode

The two men silently switched sides, J'onn ready with gauze and bandages next to Leslie and Clark next to Bruce, his hands in the same positions as earlier.

"Ready?" Leslie asked, wrapping her hand around the hilt of the dagger, the simple act already causing Diana's face to contort in pain and her body to writhe.

The two men nodded and Leslie, steadying herself with a hand across Diana's abdomen, began to pull the dagger out.

Diana gritted her teeth, moaning as her head curled back against the pillow, arms and legs fighting against Superman's hold, her agony sending a lone tear breaking through her pinched eyes and streaking down her cheek

Leslie pulled her arm straight back, unsure if perhaps she was imagining things, but it felt as if the dagger was resisting her efforts to remove it therefore prolonging Diana's pain until finally, with one strong pull it finally came free of her body.

No sooner was the dagger removed did Diana quit struggling against Clark's hold, but the agonized expression hadn't left her face, she was still in pain.

"I'll take the dagger to see if I can find an incantation that will lift the other spell" Zatanna said, placing a reassuring hand on Bruce's forearm. She was going to find a way to help Diana if it took every ounce of magic she had in her.

"Do you have any idea what the other spell is?"

"No, I can only sense that there is another spell, but given Diana's pained expression I think it might be some type of harm spell"

Leslie cleaned and wrapped the dagger in a cloth before handing it over to the young magician who quickly left so she wouldn't be in their way.

"We need to run some scans to determine how much internal damage there is" J'onn stated. He meant it as a hint for everyone to clear the room, as it was extremely hard to work with all of them in the way.

It was also extremely difficult for J'onn to focus as Bruce's normally controlled emotions were in total chaos. He was literally broadcasting every emotion he felt for Diana, so strongly at one point, J'onn found himself dizzy and disoriented, unable to sort out the emotions as fast as they flooded into him.

The Martian had known for a long time his friends were in love. Bruce had done a far better job of erecting walls around himself which made him difficult to read, whereas Diana practically broadcasted her emotions in stereo, often overwhelming him given how new the experience was to the Amazon.

There were however, times when Bruce's walls came down and they were almost always when Diana was in some of type danger. At those times J'onn would often be overwhelmed, as he was now, by the sheer depth of what he felt for the Amazon princess. Of course, along with the emotions came the fears and doubts Bruce had about deserving of love and deserving Diana's love.

He felt he wasn't good enough for her, he couldn't understand, couldn't see what it was Diana saw in him every day that could make her feel for him. J'onn knew Bruce was far too modest, if anyone was well beyond deserving of love, it was him. And just for what he'd gone through as a child, no it was what he'd become, a selfless champion of the night for the city he loved, risking everything to see that no one experienced the same pain and heartache he had. If that wasn't deserving, the Martian didn't know what was.

Then of course there were his fears. Fear that he couldn't love or be loved and still be Batman, something J'onn found utterly absurd, yet it was a real fear for Bruce, something tangible that held him back from expressing his true feelings for Diana.

Fear was something Bruce was experiencing right now, but not the same fear that had held him back all these years. No, what he was feeling now was more akin to regret then fear, regret that he would lose Diana without ever having told her how much he cared, how much he truly and deeply loved her.

In fact, Bruce was beginning to broadcast too many emotions, J'onn was having trouble not just sorting what his friend was feeling, but those emotions were starting to bleed into his own, forcing him to experience flashbacks of his time with his family before he'd lost them.

It was far too overwhelming

"Bruce, I need you to control your emotions, I can't focus"

"I'm sorry, I…. I can't lose her J'onn"

"I know my friend. Dr Thompkins and I are going to do all we can for her, I promise."

"Thank you"

"Now leave, and take Superman and Flash with you"

"Ok… promise me you'll contact me the moment you and Leslie know anything?"

"I will"

"Yes, and I want to run a full blood panel as well, to be sure we don't miss anything"

Leslie did her best to give Bruce a reassuring look, but she could see it was no use. She would have to contact Alfred, let him know what happened, perhaps he could talk to Bruce. The one person in this world who had any success at reaching Bruce Wayne was Alfred.

Although, she had a feeling there was another person who had slowly managed to join Alfred on that short list, unfortunately she was laying on the table before her. Leslie said a silent prayer to Bruce's parents that she would do everything she could to ensure Diana survived.

"C'mon let's go and let them work"

Clark was stunned. A moment ago, he couldn't drag Bruce away, now he was the one suggesting they leave.

"What?" Bruce asked him as calmly as if they were talking about the weather

"You. Before I would've had to drag you out, now you're pushing us out the door"

Bruce scowled, he knew Clark was right, but he also knew J'onn right too and if J'onn couldn't focus because he was there then Diana didn't stand a chance of surviving, so he needed to leave. He didn't want to go his head was siding with J'onn, but his heart wanted nothing more than to plant himself at her bedside and never leave.

"Bruce, easy. I agree we should get out of J'onn's and Leslie's way"

"Then why give me a hard time about it?"

Clark merely shrugged

"I don't know"

Bruce merely glared at him

XXX

Watchtower

Clark suggested they go get a cup of coffee, but Bruce was reluctant. The last place he wanted to go was the hub of gossip, the commissary where he knew they'd undoubtedly be bombarded by questions they couldn't answer.

It was attention the Dark Knight didn't want. It was bad enough he and Diana were already the talk of the league, betting pools on top of betting pools from, guessing when the two founders would hook up, when Diana would toss Batman through a wall, to Batman would break her heart sending the Amazon packing back to Themyscira.

That last one cut Bruce deeply. Not just simply because it meant he would have broken Diana's heart but more to him it was exactly why he could never be with her, because that last betting pool meant he would never see her again as no man was allowed on the island.

Bruce would rather painfully love Diana from afar from then lose her forever and never see her again.

He'd been so lost in his thoughts, Bruce he hadn't realized he and Clark ended up in exactly the last place he wanted to… the commissary.

Groaning inwardly, Bruce watched as the noise level in the commissary immediately went silent upon their entry, eyes from the nearly two dozen members present were glued to them… on him.

The only thing Bruce hated more than being the subject of league gossip was being pitied, especially by those who barely knew him.

"This was a bad idea" he muttered to Clark, as they walked toward the coffee makers.

Clark sighed, "Yeah, I know"

"Then why are we still walking in this direction?"

"We can't turn back now, it will only make things worse"

Clark said as he poured himself a cup of coffee, working as hard to pretend he couldn't clearly hear all the gasps and whispers of those around him, all of which concerned the man standing next to him.

"Do you think Wonder Woman is going to die?"

"What will Batman do if Wonder Woman doesn't make it?"

"Must be so weird for Batman to be hanging with Superman considering he and Wonder Woman are an item"

That last one made Clark wince, knowing how much his close relationship with Diana, who he considered to be a sister, bothered Bruce. He'd always been able to show the outward emotion to Diana, even if it was purely platonic that Bruce never could. Not to mention Clark heavily suspected Bruce feared he would steal Diana from him since they were both immortal and metas.

"I hate you" Bruce ground out between gritted teeth, thanks to the enhanced hearing in his cowl he too could hear the whispers around them, his hand so tight around his coffee mug it was close to shattering in his hand.

"No, you don't"

"At this very moment, yes I do. I really, really do"

Clark could actually hear Bruce's teeth grinding together

"If you don't ease up on that coffee mug you're going to shatter it"

"I'm pretending it's your neck"

Clark scoffed, "As if you would ever be able to get your hands around my neck"

Bruce snapped his head at Clark, "a certain lead lined pocket on my utility belt ensures I could"

The kryptonian stared blankly at his best friend, his x-ray vision letting him see through the lenses of Bruce's cowl, to find a pair of dark narrowed eyes glaring at him.

A chill went down Clark's spine

"Ok, then"

Clark quipped as he turned to go sit down. The two found a secluded table in the back corner away from prying eyes and ease dropping ears.

Clark hoped the privacy would help him to get Bruce to open up a little bit about Diana, what happened and how he was doing. On top of that, there was something extremely important they needed to discuss, something he knew the mere thought of would upset Bruce greatly, but it still needed to be discussed regardless of how it may make him feel

"No."

"No?"

Clark asked confused, he hadn't said anything… yet.

"No."

"You suddenly acquire the ability to read minds, because I didn't say a word"

"You didn't have to, I know how you are"

"Exactly 'how' am I?"

Bruce scowled at him, he really didn't feel like playing this game with Clark right now

"We're not calling Hippolyta"

"Actually, that's not what I was thinking"

Bruce arched his brow

"Ok, maybe I was thinking about it, but don't you think Hippolyta deserves to know what happened to her daughter? Not to mention it's Ares, maybe she can help us, help Diana"

Deep down Bruce knew he was right, but he feared if they called Hippolyta she would take Diana back to Themyscira and he would never see her again. He was not about to let that happen, he would figure this out no matter what, he was not going to lose Diana.

His chest tightened. It was the first time since he found Diana on that rooftop he allowed himself to feel the finality of the situation seep into him. Sure, his thoughts immediately went to his parents when he brought Diana back but now that the adrenaline had worn off, the full weight of the possibility of losing Diana hit him.

It scared the crap out of him.

He'd long aligned himself to the notion Diana would far outlive him, which was fine, he never expected to live into his golden years anyway and he'd die happy knowing the woman he loved would live on, but now it seemed he could lose her, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He wasn't sure what to do, which was something only Diana could ever manage to do… keep him off balance. Everything she did amazed and surprised him, even her inexplicable ability to not only put up with him, but to love him as well.

"Let's wait until J'onn and Leslie tell us more about her condition, perhaps Zatanna and Dr Fate can find a way to break the spell before we do anything"

Clark didn't think it possible, he'd finally won an argument with Bruce. He wasn't sure if he should be elated or concerned?

Bruce never gave in, which scared Clark a little, if there was one trait you could always assign to Bruce it was his resilience, he never gave up, always fought to the bitter end, finding a way to come out on top. So, for him to resign so quickly to calling Hippolyta meant deep down Bruce feared there nothing they could do to help Diana.

He was giving up.

"You know, it's ok to care about her, to worry about her."

"No, it isn't"

"Why not? Everyone deserves happiness, even you"

"It's too dangerous"

Clark felt his anger rising. He'd never met two people in his life more stubborn than Bruce and Diana, which was what made them such a perfect fit for each other, yet the man sitting before him did everything he could to deny himself the opportunity to be happy.

"Dangerous, for who? You're not responsible for what happened to Diana, in case you hadn't noticed it was her enemy who stabbed her, not yours"

Bruce narrowed his eyes, his jaw tightening in frustration, he knew it wasn't his fault, but no matter how badly he wanted to be with Diana and he did, so badly, he could never allow himself any type of happiness.

What would happen to his city, to his mission if he did? Could he still be intimidating and strike fear into the hearts of the bad guys if he had light in his life?

He swore to himself no one else would go through what he did, he'd made a promise to his parents and to be able to keep that promise he had to be alone… no matter how painful it was.

No, he couldn't risk it, he had to stay in the darkness.

"This time"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said. This time it was one of Diana's enemies but what about the next time? What if it's the Joker? If he got his hands on her he wouldn't hesitate to…"

Bruce couldn't finish. He didn't dare imagine what sick things the Joker would to do Diana if he ever got his hands on her, the mere thought made his stomach churn in disgust.

"Don't you want to be happy?"

"What…"

"Are you afraid to be happy?"

Bruce tried to cut in, but Clark rapid fired his questions, the second hitting way too close to home as far as he was concerned. He wasn't afraid of anything, except maybe losing Diana, that was something he knew he couldn't handle.

Clark was getting dangerously close to that truth and he knew it too. More than he'd ever admit to anyone, Clark did know him better than nearly anyone, with the exception of course of Alfred.

"It's better this way" Bruce mumbled

"Diana is the strongest woman I know, you won't destroy her"

"I can't risk it" Bruce ground out "I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her…"

Bruce's voice lowered nearly above a whisper with that last statement leading Clark's expression to soften and his heart to break.

His best friend was deeply in love but for some god forsaken reason felt he wasn't worthy of that love.

"But something has happened. Wouldn't you rather experience a life with Diana even if just for a little while then not know it at all? She knows who you are, what you are, and she would never ask you to choose between the two… and deep down you know that"

His heart knew the kryptonian was right, but his head screamed otherwise.

They sat in relative silence for a moment, neither sure what to say next, or dare to go next in conversation. In all their arguing and debating they had both refused to consider the idea Diana wouldn't make it. Neither wanted to be the one to give voice to the notion.

Suddenly Bruce's comm crackled to life… it was Leslie. She had gotten Diana's blood work back and she needed him and Superman to come back to the infirmary.

Bruce tried to get her to tell him over the comm what the results were, but she refused simply repeating she needed both men back in the infirmary… she would explain all then.

As the signal cut out, his mind began playing out a multitude of scenarios regarding what Leslie was going to tell him and none of them good. Nearly all contained bad news, Leslie telling him there was nothing she or anyone could, that Diana had little time to live.

Reality was starting to set in rather heavily for Bruce and it made him bristle with both contempt, but more so fear. Fear he would never hear her laugh again or see her smile that special smile reserved only for him.

He was going to die right along with her. And Clark was right, it would happen without him ever knowing what it would be like to love her.

It made him want to vomit.

XXX

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