AN: thankyou for all the continued support, this was meant to be up a few days ago but ff wasn't letting me log .
"What are you doing?" A voice called almost making Felicity jump three feet in the air. Her nerves were already fried and she suddenly thought she was making a terrible ninja for not having heard him. Or maybe that just made him a great ninja… She'd been pacing in front of his room for forty minutes; thank god no one had seen her… she was a mess.
She'd tried to solve the problem on her own when she couldn't sleep, going over the moves Talia had shown her until her hands were rubbed red and raw, some blistered and bleeding. It hadn't helped, it was so loud and every time she closed her eyes she saw herself underwater screaming for Sara.
"Jesus you scared the crap out of me! What are you doing sneaking up on me?" she cried indignantly defensive even though she'd come to him.
"I was watching you pace in front of my room, how long have you been here?" he asked slightly amused as he leant against the opposite wall wearily. He'd been training all night with his father and it had been particularly brutal session. He needed to clean some of his cuts before collapsing into bed, probably a shower since he was soaked from the rain.
He saw her better now and straightened slightly on the wall at her appearance, she looked tired and more haunted than he'd ever seen her. He looked briefly down the hall before he made a decision. He grabbed her arm and opened his door at the same time, pushing them through quickly.
He shut the door and she stumbled slightly before crossing her arms around herself.
"What's wrong?" he asked gruffly as he began to shed his heavier armour, wet with rain at the doorway.
"I-" she was unsure now as she glanced fleetingly around his room. She'd never been in here before, it was much bigger than her own not that that was surprising or anything. A lot of red and wood, it was nice. What was she doing here? Oliver was just going to get uncomfortable and then tell her some weird Arabic metaphor she didn't understand that was the equivalent to 'suck it up' or 'rub some dirt in it.'
But he was her closest friend here, the only person she could trust and he said he didn't mind her talking at him…
"Felicity?" he asked much softer now as he approached her slowly. Her eyes were wide and tired as she looked into his weary blue ones. "I'm just going to clean up, why don't you wait over there and then we'll talk about it." He gestured to the lounges by the window and she looked at them and then back to him.
She suddenly realised that he looked tired so she began to babble, "Are you sure? I mean I can-it can wait, I'm sorry to bugyou-" His hand landed solidly on her shoulder and it grounded her as she found his eyes again.
He crouched slightly to look her in her sunken eyes, "its fine, I just need a minute." And then he was shoving her in the direction of the lounges, the bathroom door slamming shut with him in it with finality.
She had noticed he was like that. He wasn't particularly demanding in their odd friendship but once he made a decision, much like everything else in his life, he just expected her to follow through with it. No matter how blunt the request.
Felicity paced in between the lounges and the bathroom, the lounges were by the window, the source of her agitation so she kept her distance. The wind howled bashing against his closed window and she winced trying to focus on her breathing and where she was.
It wasn't working.
Why couldn't she just breathe?
She rubbed her callouses on her hand causing some of them bleed again. He was calling out her name; she hadn't heard him at first. Rough hands found her softer ones and she made out a soft curse he muttered in Arabic before she was being dragged to the bathroom.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" he asked with irritated concern. She blinked up at him owlishly when his hand applied more pressure to get her attention. Felicity barely winced at the pain as she took in his freshly showered form. She's never seen him dressed so casually before; he was in a cotton shirt and pants. It must be what he wore to bed; they were black like everything here, but soft looking. It contrasted oddly with his harsh personality but it suited him none the less, but then again he'd probably rock a heshen sack.
"I-" she looked at his half bandaged arm, "Your arm!" she said her hand immediately reaching out but he stopped her.
"You first," he argued, "I'm fine."
He turned her hands over in his, inspecting them closely and more gently. "How hard is Talia working you?" he demanded frowning, he didn't know his sister to let something like this happen without offering some kind of medical advice. If not properly cared for it would only hinder her training in the long run. Talia was training to be the priestess for god sake. Felicity shook her head. She could think more clearly now, the rain a dull noise from inside the smaller slightly steamed room.
"I was practising," she mumbled wincing slightly when he put a sticky substance over the open wounds.
He hummed to show he'd heard her and before she knew it he was wrapping thin gauze around her hands with practised ease. "You do this a lot huh?" she asked quietly and he made another noise of acknowledgment as he concentrated on her hands.
He let go of them when he was finished, "no weapons tomorrow," he told her firmly dropping her hands gently to her side and she nodded glancing at his bleeding gash he'd no doubt agitated after helping her.
"Here," she reached up and he froze when she took off the loose hanging cloth. She glanced briefly at him to check if this was okay. She continued when he nodded slightly, a bare shift of his chin, his eyes were hard.
She copied him applying the weird herby stuff that looked kind of familiar. She picked up the container and gave it an experimental sniff. He quirked an eyebrow at her that she ignored her mind reeling as she tried to place it. She put some of the sludge over his open gash and he didn't even wince.
"This is from Lian Yu isn't it?" she asked suddenly realising it was the stuff Shadow had used on Slade. Sara had also mentioned it in some capacity while they were there.
Oliver tilted his head curiously at her as she tied off his bandage securely nodding that she was satisfied. He looked pleased enough as he tilted his arm in a few different directions examining it. "It's why I was there that day." He told her quietly as he cleaned up the supplies from his counter not looking at her.
"When you found me?" she asked softly and he nodded silently and they were encompassed in a comfortable but weighted silence.
"Come on," he said once he was done, directing her back into his room by her elbow. He went to direct them to the two lounges but she shook her head and dug her heels in.
He sighed mostly confused at this point, "can we sit on the bed?" he asked instead when she thought he was going to make her leave and she nodded with slight hesitation. He left some space between them as they sat having gauged her somewhat fragile state.
He turned towards her waiting for her to speak. "I'm only good at listening if you talk," he told her after a few minutes past in silence. She forced a small smile wringing her bandaged hands together.
"It's stupid,"
The thunder sounded again and she couldn't help but wince, it reminded her so much of right before it happened. So many awful things had happened when it rained like this…
"You don't like rain do you?" he murmured quietly looking out the window as he realised why she hadn't wanted to sit there.
"No not so much," she muttered looking away from him as his eyes snapped back to her curiously. "I thought this place was like the desert or something..."
His mouth quirked as he explained briefly, "it's a desert storm… Why come to me?" he asked his thought finally. One thing he had learnt about her in their short time of knowing one another was that Felicity didn't like people to see her weaknesses. They were similar that way, they both had walls. They just looked different.
"I just-" she furrowed her brow her hands still twisting together, "we're friends right?" she said not wanting to have to say what she really wanted to.
He tilted his head again nodding, yes. They'd been over that, as surprising as it was to him that she'd want to be his friend he had accepted it as she continued to seek him out. He liked her company, she never made him speak and wasn't afraid to speak her own mind. Forgetting he could kill her in the time it took to blink, she trusted that he wouldn't. He liked that, how easy she made it all seem even in the lives they were leading.
She never looked pained or worried; she was always smiling, smiling too much for a place like this, except not now. He frowned, finding that he didn't like that. He was also annoyed he hadn't realised any of this sooner, of course she was hurting. How did she even end up on that island? Who had hurt her? He'd seen some of the scars… but it wasn't his business, not endless she made it his. He would offer her that same curtsey she showed him.
Felicity sighed, "I just didn't want to be alone right now." She said so quietly he almost didn't catch it.
So she'd sought him out? He had trouble processing that but pushed it aside as he watched her hands practically wrecking his hard work as they rubbed together over the bandages. He grabbed them, stilling them as he chided her quietly. Her hands fell lax into his grip but didn't pull away.
"Did you want to talk about it?" he offered not really knowing what to say when trying to give comfort. She shook her head, "can we just sit here?" she asked after another moment of silence and he nodded, leaning back on the post with his eyes closed in exhaustion.
He'd fallen asleep like that, with his hand in hers. Her body had ended up draped over his legs from where she'd fallen forward in her own sleep.
Oliver had never just slept with another person before.
He should have realised it then.
When he awoke the next morning he was alone. "Felicity?" he called with no response as he looked bleary eyed around the room. Slightly panicked he shot to his feet, how had she gotten up without him even noticing?
He rubbed his face trying to rid it of sleep as he got up from his cold bed and deftly dressed; he was more tired than he thought.
She was with Talia.
Where else was she going to go Oliver? Leave the island? Again, it would be much harder now anyway.
They were laughing together in Talia's working rooms, joking around as Talia put on some kind of cuff to her arm. They were silent as she pumped the ball attached to the cuff.
"You can come in Saheem, you lurking is kind of creepy." Felicity called to him and he shook his head before he made his way through the door and walked up to where she was sitting. He fought the impulse to drop a kiss to her head in greeting, they'd long since hid their affections in front of his sister but he knew it wouldn't have been received well right now.
He didn't want to chance touching her so he focused on his sister, "What are you doing?" he queried and she rolled her eyes.
"Good morning Talia how are you today?" she muttered sarcastically as she wrote something down and he heard Felicity snort quietly. "The doctor you saw was right, it is low. You need to be drinking more water, maybe some sugar to." She told Felicity with a sterner eye.
"Yeah he said that's why I fainted," she said nodding.
"You fainted? When?" Oliver demanded and Felicity huffed in annoyance. "Right before you sent Sarab for me." She said thinking back to that day, she'd been afraid for the baby in that fight; it was when she knew she'd do anything to keep them safe.
"You got in a fight AFTER you knew you were pregnant!?" she silently cursed herself before levelling him with a glare of her own. He was the one who'd sent Sarab! He knocked her out when he found out she was pregnant and now he's suddenly dad of the year?
"Can we please not do this right now?" she grit out instead trying to calm herself, she wasn't doing this in front of his sister.
"I'm still examining her." Talia said in support and he let out a huff of exasperation.
"Carry on," his tone was superior, like he was talking to one of his lackeys. He waved his arm lazily not moving from where he'd perched himself on the table.
"Fantastic, you're staying." Felicity muttered crossing her arms, all the fun had just sucked out of the room.
-0-
"Why are you going to be the priestess if you're so good at this?" Felicity asked after her breathing returned to normal. They'd been at it for hours now and sweat poured from her skin, making the knives slick in her palms. She'd almost sliced off a finger; she'd die if she'd been renegaded back to the dull knives.
Oliver would have a field day simultaneously laughing at her and worrying about her almost chopping off her fingers.
Talia had been training her for months now but still paused at Felicity's question. For a moment she wondered if it was too personal. She felt like they were getting closer, but people here, especially people who were raised here like Talia…like Oliver, they were even more closed off.
"Al Sah-Him," Felicity blinked remembering Oliver's real name. When she didn't say anymore Felicity chanced pushing her.
"What about him? Is this some bogus gender thing?" Felicity asked with a tilted head as Talia bent down to retrieve their water from the ledge.
Felicity had noticed that whilst woman could be trained here like warrior's, treated equally like men… there were still women here who weren't, archaically so. The women who prepared the food and who cleaned the grounds; time seemed to move backwards as the men were ultimately not responsible for anything of domestic nature.
Talia shook her head as she regarded Felicity carefully. It reminded her of Oliver, she knew they only shared a father and did not look similarly in ways of looks. Oliver had never spoken of his mother but Felicity had gathered she was of western origin whilst Talia was much darker.
"You are friends with my brother yes?" she asked Felicity seriously and she nodded slowly as Talia continued, moving slowly to sit on the ledge. "You have seen his softer side, not many can say the same. He wasn't always so hardened, he still isn't in some ways." She mused and Felicity joined to sit beside her so she didn't loom.
She didn't want to spook her from talking.
"Since there were two heirs for my father, he told us when we came of age that we would fight for our place as successor." Talia said quietly studying her bottle carefully. Felicity swallowed, she didn't make it sound like they were both meant to live at the end of that.
"He's older and stronger than I. I never resigned my faith though; if he was going to cut me down I was going to give him a reminder to carry with him. It burdened our relationship for many years…"Talia trailed off and Felicity suddenly had the desire to snort.
Yes knowing one day you'd have to kill the other would probably do that.
"He told father I would be wasted in death. I remember being terrified that he meant I should be given away like some kind of boxed gift for our allies." Talia smiled softly but Felicity's stomach rolled.
"I would have rather he killed me... But he'd been planning, for quite some time for me to overtake the role as priestess. I had always been interested and it is one of the most highly respected rolls within the league. I wouldn't just survive; I would be protected, unchallenged.
He saved my life when I thought he was going to kill me without remorse."
"Wasn't there already a priestess?" Felicity asked confused.
"She fell ill months prior and never returned to heath. Priestess' are forbidden to take part in rituals, only perform them." She continued knowing Felicity would ask about the mysterious pools her father bathed in that restored life. Not that she would wish that on anyone.
"You think he...?" Felicity trailed off. 'He murdered the priestess' went unsaid; Felicity had no doubt in her mind about that.
Talia gave her a wiry smile. "Don't be ridiculous Litl'Sen that would be treason. Come, enough stalling it is time you showed me how you're coming along with the shuriken."
The conversation was over but Felicity felt like she learnt more about both the hardened Al Gaul siblings.
-0-
"You're not dressed."
Felicity didn't look up when she heard his gruff voice. After parting this morning on a sour note she'd gone back to ignoring him. He'd been busy with league business anyway but it was nightfall now, he must have been talking about dinner.
Or more importantly the announcement at dinner.
"I wasn't planning on leaving my cage tonight Al-Sah Him." Felicity said dryly from the window where she had been sitting for hours. She traced her slightly chipped nail polish that Sara had done for her only days ago.
Things had been so different then.
Her life could have been different.
"Enough." She heard his weapons clanging as he smashed around behind her, presumably changing himself. "Your presence is required if we're going to announce your pregnancy."
She scoffed quietly, he sounded even more riled up than last night. He'd been hoping she would have forgiven him by now; typical impatient Oliver who was apparently incapable of an apology or a shred of remorse. She snapped turning coldly towards him. He was by their wardrobe; he'd put all her clothes back in there, folded neatly beside his.
Like it never happened.
"You know, you talk about how much you hate him but you sure are acting like him. He'd be proud." Felicity's words cut right through him and she swallowed it like shattered glass. His eyes flashed with hurt and anger as he stalked towards her and she realised she was angry to.
She wasn't sure she would ever stop being angry either.
Felicity had barely blinked before he'd hauled her to her feet by her arm and she seethed, squirming in his grip.
"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine blame me, and I'll blame you. Now get dressed." He spoke firmly his mouth ghosting her piercing in a way that was anything but intimate despite the proximity.
"You'll blame me?" she asked incredulously snapping her arm from his grip. He let her but he didn't lessen their proximity.
He was prepared for them to rehash their argument last night. He was prepared for yelling, screaming maybe even some crying but she merely sunk down to the window bench practically sliding on his body since he refused to give her space.
She looked defeated.
"I can't… If you can't even apologise, I can't do this Oliver." She whispered and he froze, his legs brushing her knees from where he stood. He gazed hardly out the window above her head.
"You ran," he finally said when he couldn't take the silence. She did this to him; he could go for hours without speech before he met her. Go without thought, without her. Her leaving had hurt him in ways he wasn't ready to acknowledge yet.
She let out a pained laugh. "I didn't leave you." She stressed desperately in a broken whisper that made him strain to close his eyes.
It was her crying voice.
"I left for her…I. You haven't apologised." She looked up to him and he braved looking down into her watery eyes. Unashamed as the tears fell, always open to him. Her pain was raw on her face but he forced himself to accept it, he deserved this, her tears.
"You kidnapped my sister Oliver." She broke away smothering her face with her hands as her body shook. He didn't know what to be more startled at. What she'd been so angry about or that she'd called him Oliver for the first time in two days.
"I..." he began before he cut himself short. He had nothing to say and her painful sob tore through his chest as she shook bellow him.
"You knew." She said once she'd composed herself angrily, tears still trailing down her face. "I told you about her," she stood suddenly and he stumbled back in shock of her anger right before she shoved him herself.
"I told you. About how important she was to me. She is my family, my baby sister! How dare you threaten her life! When you sat with me on the day of her birthday every year, when I wished I could see the woman she became. You knew Oliver. So don't you dare fucking stand there like you're on higher ground than me… Because kidnapping her was efficient, just like how taking me was. Like I was just another target… knocking me out like I didn't mean anything." She shoved him again her voice hoarse through the pain of her tears as he only watched her with a stunned coldness.
"Congratulations Al Sah Him you really are the heir to the demon." She spat and his eyes flickered with anger. He caught her arm as she shouldered past him, bringing her hand to their attention.
"Get rid of this," his eyes were flickering to her nail polish. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes." His voice was hard and her finger's fell slack in his grip.
"No," Felicity said sharply. She wasn't sure how much more she could push him but she wouldn't get rid of it, not tonight. His hand curled tighter around her own, "I will get dressed. I will sit beside you and I will accept your father's congratulations… Let go of my hand." Felicity said calmly turning to eye his now simmering glare.
He released her hand easily, "You mean everything Felicity, that's the problem." He breathed into her face before he swiftly walked toward the bathroom and slammed the door. When she looked back to their mixed clothes in the wardrobe she felt like sobbing all over again.
Oliver breathed harshly as he stripped out of his training clothes and turned the water on full blast in the shower. He could feel it now, in every touch. Every strained smile, it dimmed her light. She was breaking from the inside out and he was the one responsible. He promised he would always protect her but he hadn't promised that he wouldn't hurt her himself.
Maybe she was right, maybe he was his father. Maybe she was too late or maybe he'd been to broken to begin with. She'd never said that to him before, never crossed that line. She was always reassuring him, always beside him in every sense of the word, his partner. But then he'd crossed his own lines. Taken her sister and then her trust, poisoned her mother.
Wronged her in ways he didn't know how to begin to make up for.
He couldn't stop picturing her face when she woke up on the plane.
It was like her whole world split in half at his betrayal.
It was how he felt when he woke up that morning to cold sheets, with her missing. For four long months.
-0-
Oliver gripped her hand on top of the table again that night; it was slack in his grip. She didn't even look at him as his eyes bore into the pale blue that still resided on her finger nails. What she'd fought him to keep.
A harsh moment of clarity reached him.
She was different now, this would have to be different now to, and he would have to accept what had transpired between them these last few months to keep her.
"I assume you'll be getting married." He heard his father say pulling him out of his sombre musings and Felicity's hand tightened in his own for the first time that night.
She wiped her mouth delicately with her free hand before smiling prettily at his father, "I don't see why. You never married any of your children's mothers."
Ra's laughed good-naturedly but Oliver squeezed her hand in warning, he didn't like wherever this was going. Felicity was rash when she was angry, like he was but with words instead of fists. If she didn't stop herself from walking away she'd say something she couldn't take back.
"But my son is a traditionalist, and you two are so in love aren't you? It seems like the logical thing." He smiled with all of his teeth making it clear that their show tonight wasn't fooling him. Oliver doubted it would, and there was all the speculation around Felicity's time away and the guards by the door the other day which he knows Ra's knows about.
"Al Sah-Him wants to marry after he's become the demon's head." Felicity said before he could speak with what she'd once explained to him as her "billionaire press smile," whatever that meant, it looked like she was going to kill someone and would actually like it.
"Does he now?" Ra's said somewhat amused putting down his utensils.
God was Felicity trying to get them in hot water?
"Well congratulations once more 'Litl Sen, I can see now that when Saheem named you 'Sen' he meant fire. I hope you learn to control that fire by the time you are wed Saheem. You'll come to see when you are Ra's that wives have their own place in the league, one you seem to already be on your way to fulfilling." Ra's said to Felicity who was mangling Oliver's hand by now in her grip. Ra's turned his attention to Oliver; who engaged him in a silent conversation that seemed to be happening just with eye contact.
Oliver broke first knowing Felicity might snap at any moment… Or snap his fingers. "I think we're going to retire for the night father, this has been a pleasant evening, thank you for the welcoming celebration."
"Very well, you must be tired; I hear pregnancy is taxing on one's body. We wouldn't want you to have any… complications." Ra's said dismissively even with his callous words of Felicity's well-being; he barely bristled at Oliver's own dismissal.
"No we wouldn't." Oliver replied icily.
He stood abruptly propriety barely contained before he nodded curtly at his father. He held his hand out for Felicity who knew by his expression there would be hell if she didn't take it, that comment had pushed him into protective mode. Not that she minded in this particular instance, Ra's already gave her the heebe jeebees and she didn't like he's veiled threats on a regular 'non pregnant day' when he was just trying to get rid of the girl sleeping with his son.
Oliver was right about this; they needed to be a united front against the league even if they weren't amongst themselves right now.
She took his hand quietly, her head ducked in a show of deference to Oliver for the first time that night. Oliver gripped her hand tightly as she hauled herself to her feet before he did it himself, bowing quickly to Ra's as Oliver all but dragged her down the hall past dozen of curious eyes still present.
'Things are going to have to change if we're to survive this,' she thought as she placed a protective hand across her midsection and allowed Oliver to drag her silently through the halls.
AN: Urghhgh angst angst angst, I feel like season 3. I don't know what it is about this story but after the first chapter I have no trouble writing them all fluffy and fun in the past but the angsty present is hard to write. I think because it's such a big road block for them and Oliver's a stubborn idiot. But I think they'll unite as a front for Ra's. He's a threat to the baby so I think she'll prioritise more anger there.
Next chapter **Sara's in trouble**Oliver finds Felicity's bat phone**Marriage talk again. Oliver is unromantic and emotionally stunted.**Also Oliver really doesn't like Sara, but we knew that. Possessive jealousies ensue.
***I hope reviewer who asked for the first flashback of them falling asleep together for the first time liked it*** Please review