Chapter Three

The car is deadly silent both occupants too absorbed in indecision and thoughts to converse. Jack keeps a loose hold on the steering wheel and peers over at Ianto now and again but, finds there is really not much to be said. He wishes Ianto would speak up and tell him what he's thinking but, both of them have always had difficulties sharing their thoughts and emotions with each other so Jack doesn't blame him. But he can wish.

Jack considers Helen's invitation to... see her past and thus Ianto's mother? He knows if their positions were switched he'd struggle with the decision but, also knows from past experience that he would say yes. The Captain vows though, that he will not pressure Ianto in to choosing one way or the other, it's most likely he'll say yes but, either way Jack will accept it questionlessly. If Ianto does happen to decide he doesn't want to see his mother anymore, that it would be too hard or pointless or whatever, Jack could use a nice normal vacation anyway. He wasn't lying to him when he told him he was due for one...

Ianto leans his forehead against the cool glass of the car door's window and suppresses a sigh. He want's Jack to say something, out of the corner of his eye he sees him glance over at him periodically but, no words are spoken. Ianto knows he wants to see who his birth mother, Rose apparently, was like but, can't help but to want his partners opinion on the matter: was that so wrong? He can't help but, to also have questions though, a lot of unanswered questions, he doesn't even know how they'll view the memories or if Jack will be able to see them too. Will Jack watch them with him if he can?

It's not as if he doesn't have faith in Jack in keep him safe from Helen and maybe even whatever lays in his mother's past but, would- could Jack take this much time away from work to babysit him while catches up on his ancestry? The rift may be cooperative right now but, that could change at any moment, Gwen and Owen weren't wrong when they'd pointed out their shortage on staff. When is the last time Owen or Tosh took time off work? Was he being selfish by coming out here and taking their boss with him?

Ianto restrains himself from reaching up and rubbing his aching head, not wanting to alert Jack to his thought process. If Jack knew he was feeling like this he would drop everything, Ianto knows but, the point is he doesn't want Jack to be sticking around just because he thinks he's some damn damsel in distress. Because he isn't. Of course. God, sometimes he's just so happy people can't hear each other's thoughts.

Ianto risks sneaking a brief glance at Jack, who looks serene as he gets, for once calmly navigating the car through traffic. He realizes how rare it is when he's in the car with Jack and they aren't in some desperate hurry, Jesus their lives are so messed up. Only in a life so strange and oftentimes terrible though could he meet and fall for a man like Captain Jack Harkness so he'll take it as it is. He couldn't imagine living a life of false security and 'simplicity' anymore anyway, not after all he's learned, seen... loved.

They're at the hotel before either of them expect it. They slip inside, both of them making pathetic attempts of conversation that would sound weak even to an overhearing stranger. What in the world makes them both so bad at this? It's as if the need for an emotional conversation hangs over their heads and renders it impossible for them to have any sort of communication at all. The whole situation leaves Jack wanting to slap himself and Ianto trying very, very hard not to be bitter.

He doesn't even know what he's bitter about, is it Jack, or Helen, or the uncertainty, or himself, or just everything? A part of him wants to say something to Jack but, he's worried it'll come out mean and that would be wrong when he isn't even sure it's Jack that's bothering him. It's probably just the situation overall. Stepping into their room he shoots Jack an impatient and tired look that lets him know that tonight's not the night for Joking. Jack wasn't intending to anyway, and honestly feels a little offended in Ianto's lack of faith in him.

Ianto internally storms but, externally calmly slips off his coat, shoes, and belt before slipping into the bathroom for a hot shower. Jack watches him closely, not at all fooled by his show but, unwilling to break the uneasy silence. He stares a moment at the closed door before turning to the sunset instead. He feels his frustration rise, mostly at himself, as usual, cause no matter how much it annoys him that Ianto isn't talking to him he knows it's his fault. He's never asked him to. And he most certainly has never himself, well to any extent that would make Ianto feel like they were in that sort of relationship.

He hates how this thing between them is sometimes, he hates how no matter how much he... he- damn it no matter how much he feels for Ianto he can't bring it within himself to be well, they are in a relationship but, Jesus he doesn't even know what's wrong with their relationship. A lot of times when he's holding Ianto in his arms it feels like there is nothing wrong between them but, when Ianto looks at him like that he knows there is and that it's his fault but, he doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't think looking Ianto straight in his beautiful eyes and telling him how much he cares for him is going to fix it.

But, maybe just maybe if he is there by Ianto's side, if he doesn't say pointless words but, instead shows Ianto in a much truer way by just simply being there by his side till the very bitter end, for forever, than maybe that outta be enough.

Jack undresses as Ianto exits the bathroom, hair still wet and skin glistening, Jack can't help but, to admire. They both climb into the single bed and get into comfortable positions. Staring at the darkened room, listening to the endless low squealing of the fridge fan, they settle into for a long night. Ianto doesn't even know why yet, the bad part hasn't even started but, anticipation he supposes is often as bad as the event itself.

Morning shines through the windows with a dull light, another beautiful overcast day, wonderful. Ianto cracks a smile as his own mental dialogue and rolls over thoughtlessly burying his face in Jack's shoulder to hide from the light. Usually light means getting up, going to work, and you know, not being in bed anymore. Ianto smiles at his own thoughts again and sighs when Jack automatically pulls him in closer to his body.

They enjoy each other's company and shared heat for a moment but, it is not cold in the hotel and before things get too sweaty Ianto pulls away. He looks down at Jack as he looks back up at him with a dopey smile, happy Ianto's previous nights upset has seemed to ebb away over the night.

"Good morning sunshine," he teases and pushes Ianto back down onto the bed. Hopping on top of him he pecks him on the forehead before bounding away into the bathroom without explanation. Ianto can't help the laughter that follows his happy lovers actions as he too climbs out of bed.

After collecting their 'breakfast' Ianto greets Jack with a peck of a kiss on his lips before slipping away to set up their meal. He grins devilishly as he does, because coy is actually a game he's pretty good at and it's certainly more in his realm than that time they decided to try going- ugh he shudders, that had failed and there was no reason dwelling on it.

"I'm going to do it," Ianto blurts out at a seemingly random time during their breakfast. Jack nods understandingly from across the table.

"Alright." They both look at each other for a second, glad to have cleared the elephant out of the room before returning to their meals. Poking at his eggs Ianto chews his lip and ponders everything that could go wrong what they could possibly do to, oh!

"We should call Tosh and ask if she can dig up anything about anyone else with these kinds of abilities," Jack suggests from across the table and Ianto almost laughs at their mirrored thoughts.

"I agree," he responds simply, not wanting to get away from the subject at hand quite yet. "I'll call her right now." Jack nods with a warm smile that thinking of their sweet tech often gave him.

"Tell her I say 'hi'!" he laughs and Ianto nods agreeingly before pulling out his cell phone and hitting one of the first numbers on the list.

"Oh, hey Ianto!" She answers cheerfully on the other line, "I was going to text to see how your trip was going but, didn't want to bother you."

"Hey Tosh, it's going fine thank you," he relaxes into her friendly voice. "I do have a favor to ask of you though, if you aren't too busy."

"No problem, I always have time for you," she teases and Ianto huffs a chuckle. "What can I do for you?" Ianto wanders over to and looks out the window as he explains Helen's abilities to the genius.

"So I was just hoping you could work your magic," he pokes back. "Oh, and also could you look closer for Torchwood having any affiliation with Helen, in any way or form?"

"Of course," she reassures honestly, "I'll get back to you if I find anything. And Ianto?"

"Yeah?"

"Try and have a good vacation, you deserve it, no matter what Owen and Gwen say." Ianto clenches the phone tighter and pulls in a deep ragged breath.

"I will, thank you." He closes his eyes and he can see her soft smile on the other side of the phone.

"Anytime."

The conversation with Tosh is over all to soon and Ianto can't help but, to want to talk with her longer. He had no idea how much he relies on his best friend to help him through emotional times, well maybe he does. He looks over at Jack who sits there looking over his shoulder with a particularly warm air about him that he only gets when they're alone together and is glad he at least isn't here alone.

No, Jack is better than any comfort the solitude he often enjoys could provide him right now. He shouldn't be here though, he should be in Cardiff making sure sweet Tosh is safe, and Gwen and Owen don't ruckus up too much trouble.

"Let's go to Helen's now."

They pull up to the pleasant little yellow house again, and everything appears the same as it had the day before. Not a leaf, flower, or parked car different: the whole place suspended in a pocket where time is frozen still. Neither man lets the neighborhood's odd quality visibly bother them, it's all in their imagination anyway.

Helen answers the door in a similar fashion as she had the day before and it seems she too is suspended in time, stuck in the same day of suffrage with her illness over and over. The thought makes Ianto feel sick to his stomach. He dearly hopes that in this strange universe of many terrible happenings that at least that isn't reality for anyone.

The woman who appears, acts, and feels all too old for her age is not very surprised but, overjoyed nonetheless that they've decided to give her a chance. She feels a great burden on her shoulders to express the wonder of a woman she had loved to a son that never got to meet her. It's a terrible burden that makes her feel hopeless because it's impossible, there were too many moments between her and Rose to ever show but, she's hopeful anyway because most people don't get this opportunity.

Most children who lost parents when they are young never get to see them smile, hear them laugh, blush, or cry, maybe over a camera but, anyone who has been in that position knows that's not the same. She supposes it's also an opportunity for Rose, most parents who die and leave behind their children with nothing but, the few moments they had shared together don't get to be remembered by those children. The whole thing would be beautiful, should be really, if only this wasn't the story she was telling. And that isn't fair, the story of the years of Rose's life that Helen had known her for though weren't fair, not for anyone.

Definitely not for Ianto and Rose but, only one of them had to live with it. Helen hopes the boy's life wasn't too bad. She's regretted not having been the one to adopt and raise him sense, she wasn't the one to do it and so she hopes she at least doesn't have the burden of having condemned him to a bad childhood too. God, she hopes he was happy.

They agree to get started as soon as possible and move to the living room again.

"So how are you going to show them to us?" Jack asks her with both honest curiosity and an ingrained need to gather information for Torchwood. Force of habit.

"We will simply interlock hands, close our eyes, and watch them, I don't know, with our minds' eye? Or is that too cliche?" She sips her tea, pre prepared for their arrival this time.

"Sounds fine to me," Jack beams back but, worries slightly. Hopefully this isn't some complicated scheme to telepathically murder them both...

"So um," Ianto strains his hands together and eyeballs Helen's seemingly innocent hands nervously. He shifts uncomfortably feeling his body starting to sweat unnecessarily, darn, nerves. He leans back and as close to Jack as possible. "Are you sure you want to go in and watch them with us, I mean it's probably pretty pointless for you to," he worries in a low and hurried voice.

"I won't if you don't want me to," Jack answers in a lower than normal but, not quite the conspiring tone Ianto had used. "but, it certainly doesn't seem pointless to me to." Ianto isn't a hundred percent sure what that means but, he thinks he does and it feels nice. He smiles and nods back, having got the answer he didn't know he was looking for. Even if Jack doesn't stay all the way through, at least well at least he thought there was a reason to and maybe even wants to and that is... good.

"Let us get started right away than," Helen offers. "I can't say how long this will take but, the sooner we start probably the better."

She rests her elbows on her knees and holds out her hands in a painfully cliche manner, perhaps they'll talk to spirits later though, Ianto mentally jokes. He subtly wipes his clammy hand dry before setting it in her cool one, and Jack copies the action to his left. And than with one last shared look between them they close their eyes and allow Helen to take them away.

I was going to write some more about them doing stuff but, as an American my knowledge of how life is over there is pretty limited. Like all I know is your weather sucks, bad dental hygiene, HOT tea, there's no guns, you all watch Dr, who and Sherlock, and you don't eat pumpkin flavored food?

Thank you all of you who read, reviewed, or followed, thank you so, so much! - TheUniversesColors