Me: YAY NEXT CHAPTER!!!! YES!!!!
Jayfeather: Why do we let you write stories about us?
Lionblaze: Yes, why?
Me: Because I'm in love with Jayfeather, Lionblaze is awesome, the Warriors books are totally cool and I pay you kitties in mice, chicken, and tuna!
Lionblaze: True...
Jayfeather: O.o
Me: What are you O.o-ing about?
Jayfeather: You're in love with me?!
Lionblaze: She did say that! HA!!
Me: ...... Maaaaaayyybeeeee........
Firestar Disclaimer: Linzerj wishes she was cool enough to own us, but isn't.
Me: HEY!!
Firestar Disclaimer: Anyway... Erin Hunter owns all the Warriors things. Linzerj owns herself, her laptop, her iPod, the plot and her OC's.
Destiny's Way…
…Of Introducing You to a Kittypet's Life
"...And over here is the TV... I don't understand why my housefolk like it so much, but they do... And this is Lizzie's parents' bed - it's so comfy! And this is Lizzie's room... she has a computer thingy up there on the desk... in this bathroom is my litterbox for days when I can't go outside to make dirt..." Lightning rambled on. Jayfeather sighed.
"Um... you do remember I can't actually see what you're yammering on about, right?" Jayfeather asked incredulously. Lightning stopped and gasped.
"Omigosh, that's right! SO sorry about that..." She began jabbering on again and Jayfeather sighed.
"Lightning... Lightning..." Jayfeather tried, but Lightning babbled on, giving long, detailed descriptions of everything in the 'house'. The words like 'house' and 'car' and 'human' were still so weird to Jayfeather, but that's besides the point.
"LIGHTNING!!" Jayfeather screeched, and Lightning stopped yammering. "What, Jayfeather?" she asked.
"Lightning, I need to get back to my forest somehow. I appreciate what you're trying to do but my Clan needs me. I'm their medicine cat and -"
"Oh... you're one of the ones who gets transported here by those symbols..." Lightning murmured. "Yeah, I know of them. So far my friend down the road has helped two cats get back to where they belong. We can try and help you, but first you have to stay inside... the bobcats and coyotes roam around at night, and it's not safe for us outside."
"Ugh.... fine, Okay... thanks," Jayfeather mumbled. Then he paused and asked, "What are bobcats and coyotes?"
"Oh! Well, a coyote is like a dog, only leaner with more ragged fur 'cause they live alone in the wild. And a bobcat is like a bigger version of a cat, and they're all golden-brown with spots and long pointy ears and shorter tails and they're the size of a coyote," Lightning explained rapidly. Jayfeather nodded, half understanding.
"Riiight..."
"C'mon, Jayfeather!" Lightning urged, beginning to bound away. "I'll show you - er, take you to where you can sleep!"
Jayfeather sighed and followed the she-cat through the 'house', thankfully without bumping into anything.
"Okay, I sleep on the bed with Lizzie, but you can sleep anywhere in this room, or on the bed with me and Lizzie if you want," Lightning said as Jayfeather took a sniff of his surroundings.
"I-I can't sleep in here!" Jayfeather cried after taking a good sniff of the 'room'. "A Twoleg lives here! As a warrior, I'm not allowed to even be near a Twoleg den, much less sleep with them!!"
"OK, fine, get eaten by bobcats and coyotes then," Lightning replied, leaping onto the 'pillow' at the top of the 'bed'. Jayfeather considered his options and sighed. No one would have to know he slept in a Twoleg den, but getting eaten by a bobcat or a coyote would be much worse - how would ThunderClan survive without their medicine cat?
"Alright, I'll sleep in here," he muttered. StarClan help me! he prayed as he retreated towards the farthest corner of the 'room' he could find, and just in time, too.
As he sat down to begin washing, the 'door' opened wider and a young Twoleg female stepped in. She gasped and said a few words in her weird language as she rushed to Lightning and began petting her. Lightning purred loudly before looking at Jayfeather, who was huddled in the corner at the stench of Twoleg.
"Come on, Jayfeather! Lizzie's nice!" she meowed to him. The Twoleg, Lizzie, looked in the direction Lightning was meowing and gasped at the sight of Jayfeather. She rushed over to him, and Jayfeather cringed away as Lizzie tried to stroke him.
"Aw, Jayfeather, relax!" Lightning chided, trotting over. "Lizzie's just petting you! There's nothing to be scared about! ...Unless she tried to pick you up, of course..."
"What?!" Jayfeather screeched as the Twoleg's front paws suddenly grasped him firmly. He struggled against the grip and yowled loudly as he was lifted into the air by Lizzie. The Twoleg examined him, checking for any signs of injury or illness, until one of Jayfeather's claws met its mark and scratched her skin. She hissed slightly in pain and gently put him down. Lightning was furious.
"Jayfeather, why did you scratch her?!" the she-cat demanded.
"She was holding and petting me!" Jayfeather hissed. "I told you it's bad enough that I'm in a Twoleg house, but it touched me!!"
"So?!" Lightning was now snarling. "I put up with it, and so do all the other house cats on my street and in my neighborhood! Deal with it until I can get you home!" She turned and stalked off to Lizzie, who was in her bed, trying to sleep now. She stoked Lightning and gave her a quick kiss on her head before putting her head on the pillow and falling to sleep. Jayfeather sighed.
StarClan, please help me now.
Me: GASP!! JAYFEATHER'S A MEANIE!!!
Jayfeather: You wrote the thing!
Me: ...Yeah I know.
Lionblaze: Seriously, why do we even hang out with you? You're nuts!
Me: I LOVE JAYFEATHER!!!!
Lionblaze: HA!! YOU ADMIT IT!!!
Me: WHAT?! NO!! GAH!!
Jayfeahter: STARCLAN SAVE US FROM THE CRAZED TWOLEG!!!
Lionblaze: It's hopeless, she'll just torture us in future stories. WE'RE DOOMED!!!!
Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!