Hello peoples! I am extremely proud of myself today. I said I was going to try and post every week, and I'm a day early! So yeah, I'm really going to try and post every week between tuesday and thursday, depending on how busy I am and when ElfArmyOlivia gets back to me with her corrections. Thanks this week go to ElfArmyOlivia and TheTumblingTweet for your lovely reviews and to TheTumblingTweet and tardischick for following. Hugs and virtual cookies to you all! As always, reviews and ideas for oneshots are very very welcome. Until next time! xxx
John plonked down on the sofa next to Sam, who was busy researching something or other on his laptop.
"We have a bit of a situation," he whispered to the tall american.
"What do you mean, a situation?"
"It's Merlin and Arthur. They're nice people and I like them, I really do, but they just don't get the 21st century. I know they've skipped a thousand years, but they're causing absolute mayhem."
"And you're asking me to do what?"
"I don't know; help me explain some stuff to them? They came with me to the supermarket yesterday, and let's just say it didn't end well. Arthur got into an argument with the voice on the self check-out machine thing and ended up pulling out his sword, and Merlin exploded some stuff... Basically we're banned from Asda for life."
"Ok, I see your point. But why pick me to help you?"
"Well, Sherlock and the Doctor are out somewhere; I think they said something about helping the government? And your brother's outside, working on the car. Actually, I think he's probably guarding it from Merlin and Arthur... Basically you're the only one around, and besides, I think we could be friends; you seem like a good guy."
Sam mumbled something in response. John thought he heard him say something along the lines of "I wouldn't be so sure about that..."
But before he could ask, Sam was smiling.
"So what's the plan?" he asked.
Merlin and Arthur were seated at the big (not round) table. Sam and John had found them in the kitchen after hearing an explosion from that direction. They appeared to have been putting various items in the microwave and toaster to see what would happen. John and Sam sat opposite the King and his servant/wizard/friend. To be honest they weren't quite sure of the relationship between the two, only that Arthur was a bit dense to have not picked up on Merlin's glaringly obvious magical powers.
"So," began John, "The reason we have asked you here is to give you a crash course in the 21st century."
"What do you mean?" asked Arthur, clearly confused.
"Well, you've skipped at least a thousand years of history, so naturally you're a bit behind. There seems to be a lot of things about the modern world that you don't get, so we're going to try and explain some of it."
"First of all though," continued Sam, "Your clothes. I don't know if you've noticed, Arthur, but nobody is really wearing suits of armour anymore. And Merlin? Your outfit's a bit old fashioned too. Better than Arthur though! So we got you some new clothes. Enjoy!"
They pushed a pile of carrier bags across the table to Merlin and Arthur, who were looking increasingly worried.
"Next, the kitchen appliances," continued John.
"How do they work?" asked Merlin, "There's no fire to heat your kettle or your tiny ovens."
"Yeah, they use electricity."
"What's that?"
"It's an energy source that we use instead of fire and it runs through those wires through the plugs in the wall. It's not magic," he added, noticing the look on Arthur's face, "It's just science. Pretty advanced science, but that's all."
Merlin and Arthur nodded in a sort of understanding. That seemed to be enough explanation for them for now.
"Oh yeah, and do not under ANY circumstances, stick metal in the toaster or the microwave or anything like that. Otherwise it will explode, as you already found out. And, if you do it again, we will ban you from the kitchen."
More nodding.
"Do the horseless carriages also use this electricity?" asked Merlin.
"Yeah they do!" replied Sam. "Good job Merlin."
"Also, next time you go out in public," said John. "Try to keep a low profile. By that I mean no swords and no explosions. Ok? It's embarassing for us. If you don't understand something, ask someone before you attack it. I don't want to get banned from anywhere else."
They nodded again
"John," Arthur began, pointing at the TV, "What's that strange box in the corner?"
"What? The TV?"
He nodded.
"It's entertainment. You switch it on, and sit and watch it."
Merlin and Arthur cautiously made their way over to the TV, and hit the on button before retreating to the sofa. An episode of Eastenders came on.
"That's barbaric!" shouted Arthur.
"No that's Eastenders," said John. "It's pretty bad, but I wouldn't go so far as to say bar-"
"It's witchcraft! There are people trapped inside the box! You call this entertainment?!"
"Arthur," Sam awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder. "There is nobody trapped in the TV. They're just actors. It's like they're putting on a show for you."
"You trap people in boxes and force them to perform for you?! What kind of place is this?!"
"Arthur, listen. There is nobody trapped and nobody being forced to do anything. They are just pictures that move. Not sorcery! Just science. Ok? Don't question it, just sit down and watch it."
Arthur sighed in defeat and sat down. Soon, both he and Merlin were fully engrossed in Eastenders and they didn't look up until it had finished.
"I want to find out what happens next!" said Merlin.
"Well, it's on 4 times a week, not including the omnibus," explained John, "So you don't have to wait too long."
"Exce llent..."
"And there are hundreds of other channels, so yeah..."
"Really? That's brilliant!"
"Ok good," said Sam, "So before we leave you two to go nuts with the TV, can we just lay down two rules?"
They nodded.
"Number 1. If you don't know what it is or how it works, do NOT touch it. Number 2. Don't go through people's personal stuff that is private. So that's mine and John's laptops, the Impala, Sherlock's science experiments, and the TARDIS. And we won't touch anything you don't want us to in return. Is that alright with you?"
Merlin looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, yes," he said. "But it would have been nice if those rules had existed a little bit earlier..."
"What do you-" began John.
"No!" interrupted Sam. "You didn't... Please tell me you didn't mess with the Impala. If you did, then Dean is actually gonna kill you. We have an arsenal of weapons in the trunk of that car, and he will not hesitate to turn them on you if you messed with his baby."
"Oh no," said Arthur. "It was the box. We were investigating the sorcery that the Doctor uses to make it bigger on the inside."
John and Sam looked at each other. They didn't understand the TARDIS; its alien technology was beyond them. Whatever Merlin and Arthur had done, it couldn't be good.
It was at that moment that the TARDIS materialised in the living room. Sherlock and the Doctor stumbled out, singed black and smelling like burnt toast.
"Honestly Doctor, we were supposed to be helping my brother in his negotiations with those aliens, and we end up running from a hungry dragon. What the hell happened?! We did not end up in the right place or time. I told you we should have just taken a cab."
"I don't know!" the Doctor looked truly baffled. "It's almost as if somebody messed with the calibration, but I can't think who could have done it..."
John and Sam looked at each other and then to where Merlin and Arthur had been sitting moments before. They were no longer there. John assumed they were hiding from the wrath of Sherlock and the Doctor, but neither of them seemed to be particularly bothered. They must have had fun on their unexpected adventure.
A couple of weeks later Merlin and Arthur were watching the latest episode of Eastenders. They had become well and truly hooked on it. Just as it was finishing, Dean sat down between them with a beer.
"Not bad," he said gesturing at the screen, "but I know a better show. Ever heard of Doctor Sexy MD?"
Merlin and Arthur shook their heads.
"Really?! Well, you're in luck! The new season is starting right now. Gimme the remote!"