The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet

a.k.a. - How the East Asian Brothers Ended Up in 'Narnia'

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(Full) Summary: (Please ignore how many eras they are in at the same time) A screwed up Narnia Hetalia crossover. Young South Korea finds a wardrobe England put in China's house. Read as he and his brothers venture into the mystical land of Soviet Russia. Did I say Russia? I meant Narnia. There they meet other countries, er, magical creatures, and fight against the evil forces of the Caucasian Witch.

Includes: Racist thoughts, bad language, and insulting stereotypes. But if you didn't like this kind of stuff already, you wouldn't be reading this fanfiction, now would you?

I think this is mostly book–verse. But I do have some movie references, and sometimes use the movie plot–line.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here but what the not-owned-by-me characters say. And not even all of that. If I did, would it be on fanfiction? I don't think so.

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Chapter 3: Kiku and the Wardrobe

Since getting told off by his siblings, Korea didn't talk as much. This worried and delighted his brothers, for his silence was very odd and must have meant something was wrong. Yet they seemed to enjoy themselves more without his constant stream of consciousness. For once, they were able to paint, watch anime (not Korean dramas), and read their fanfictions in peace. If this was the youngest' way of trying to get his brothers to apologize, it wasn't working very well.

But after a while, the Chinese two of the brothers did begin to feel sorry for Yong Soo, and so decided to try and cheer the young man up with a game of hide and seek. They even dragged Japan along just for the occasion. But as soon as Hong Kong started to count, the Korean ran off to hide in the wardrobe. This time Japan decided to follow him. After all he wanted to know why his brother had a strange fascination with England's wardrobe. Even though he did think that anything made by the sexy Brit was-

…

"Merci! What a marvelous story you're telling us, Arthur. And you wonder where young Alfred gets his arrogance from."

"Being the hero is not arrogance. It's reality."

"Come on you guys, let England finish his story. If we keep interrupting him, it will take him even longer to tell, eh. Plus-"

"Let. Me. Finish. The. Bloody. Story. You. Wankers."

"That's what I just said. Can't you guys hear me, eh?"

"No, England. Do you know who could tell the story better? Moi."

"You don't even know what happened!"

"And now what does that say about your storytelling?"

"It means that you're a –"

"I guess I'll have to tell the story to you, America. You fine with that, eh?"

"Huh? Did someone say something to me?"

"I didn't hear anything."

"Grr…"

"Sorry America, I got distracted by a certain French bastard. I'll continue where I left off."

…

Japan pushed through the same coats that Korea went through. He too wondered why getting to the back of the wardrobe took much longer than it should, and why it had suddenly gotten much chillier. Wouldn't it be stuffier in a wardrobe? After much pushing forward, Japan slipped and fell into a pile of snow. Bewildered, he looked around to find the place that his younger brother had described, though not the said sibling.

"Korea? Are you here too?" he asked, but not too loudly. He didn't know what creatures lived here. And the fact that his brother got along with them made him even more wary.

"Yong Soo? It's Japan." Kiku used the other country's real name, (But not his own. It was a girl's name after all.) in hope to instill a sense of happiness in his brother. Maybe then he would reply.

But with no such luck, the Japanese man set out to find the Korean so he could explain to him what just happened.

'He's probably just ignoring me because he was banned from the anime. Like that was my fault! His people just don't know how to take an offensive joke,' he thought while shivering. His feet were numb and turning blue for most Asians don't wear shoes in the house. 'I better find him quick or I'm going to lose my feet.'

He was just about to turn back when he heard bells jingling as if they were on a sleigh. He looked about, and soon saw a reindeer drawn sled appeared from the trees. Steering the sleigh was a silver haired man, dressed in a navy military uniform and with a peculiar looking yellow bird flying around his head. Also riding in the sleigh, was a pretty women who was even shorter than the Asian himself, with long blonde hair and blue eyes so dark, they were nearly as soulless as his own. Dressed in a black dress, apron, and white crown, she held a short knife as if it were a wand. She also wore a blank face, though at the same time you could tell there as something she wanted just out of reach.

The woman told the driver to stop the sled, for she had spotted Japan. "And who are you?"

"J-Japan," the nervous man said. He had never seen a white woman before. He only had met a few white males before, like myself ("And me!" shouted two other countries), but never before a woman. He was mesmerized.

"Do not address the ruler of the Soviet Union with such disrespect."

"The Soviet Union? So that wardrobe really was a way into Russia's."

"…I meant Narnia. Yes Narnia. Anyways, you said your name was Japan. So you are brothers with that faggot who my brother wants to become one with."

Japan snickered at the word faggot, but could not answer the lady's question.

…

This was a very short chapter. And sorry it takes me so long to update. I have to sneak online while my mother is knocked out on her sleeping pills to do this. And that doesn't even happen until two in the morning! But as schools finally out the next chapter should be up shortly.

For those of you that actually read this, review! Or die. Somehow.

~Xandra