So, time for them to talk. This was much harder to write than I expected.

DISCLAIMER: I really need to borrow them soon for a while!

Grace rolled over and hugged the pillow he usually used. She could still faintly smell him there. It was a too small and poor substitute for the real thing. There were reminders of him everywhere in her apartment. The little pillow on the sofa he used to put behind his head when he watched TV. The yogurt with the cookie crunchies in her fridge. Two of his dress shirts hung in her closet, ready for a days work if needed.

Patty's words echoed through her head last night. What did she want? What was she willing to do or change? Was Wayne right? Was marriage between them stupid now or altogether? Did she panic and throw that out there too soon?

A glance at her bedside clock confirmed it was too early to call him. She would go for a run. There was something soothing about the rhythm of her feet hitting the blacktop in counter to her breathing. It usually cleared her head and centered her.

Twenty minutes later, she was deep in thought at the park. Her headphones were turned up full blast. She wanted to shut out all the distractions. She was so focused on her inner turmoil that she wasn't able to avoid the collision with the man getting up from tying his sneakers in the path. The touch of his hands on his arms steadying her was a shock to her system. Her skin tingled and her heart rate went through the roof. Her body recognized him before her head. But hadn't that always been so?

Wayne couldn't believe he almost tripped Grace in the park. He couldn't believe he was up and running so early this morning. But once his morning after thirst woke him, sleeping was impossible. He drank a huge glass of orange juice and decided to sweat out the night before.

Just as his shoe had started to unravel, he was going to head back. They almost missed each other completely. He drank in all her details hungrily. Her eyes were rounded in shock. That long mane of red silk was tied up in a braid. She was wearing a football t-shirt from her Dad's team. It was her favorite, he knew. Those mile long legs ended in a pair of dark green shorts. She had a slight sheen of sweat on her. She hadn't been running too long.

God! Even his sweat smelled sexy. Dressed in a faded San Diego PD t-shirt, and long grey shorts, she watched his eyes devour her. As he registered his hands grasping her arms, he stepped back in embarrassment, dropping his eyes. Dressed in a civilizing suit and tie, he was tall and handsome. But wearing much less, muscles glistening with sweat on display, she was reminded of his strength and power. Those lowered eyes reminded her of his inner vulnerability.

In a flash, grace knew what she really wanted. She wanted all of him. The strength, the sweetness, and even the awkwardness that was Wayne.

"I'm sorry, my shoelace…"

"I can't believe we ran into…"

They both spoke at the same time and stopped together. Neither one was saying anything important. It was just something to fill in the awkward void. Wayne gestured for Grace to continue.

"I was going to call you today. But I got up so early, and figured I would run before I woke you."

At the news she wanted to call him, his expressive eyes lit up. "Really? I was going to call you too, but, well, it was really early and you know, I thought I would run too"

He stammered out his explanation, not sure of how to begin. As much as seeing her lifted his spirits, he was not prepared and terrified he would step on his words again. He tried to be calm and organize his thoughts.

"Wayne? There's a bench right there. We both want to talk, so let's sit and talk."

"Here?"

"Yeah, here. If we go back to one of our apartments, we both know talking will be the last thing we do." She said that with a smile that lifted his heart. She didn't hate him. She was still thinking of him in that way. This was good. Now all he had to do was not screw this up. Crap!

"Ok, sure"

Grace smiled to herself. He really was adorable. She knew he was terrified of saying the wrong thing here.

"Look, Wayne, this week has been horrible for us both. Between the fire, and that documentary crew in our face and making that announcement we haven't really talked, have we? Then waiting for Lisbon to lower the boom on us. We should have been better together"

"Yeah, I felt like nothing I said or did was right, ya know?"

"I know. And we did this all backwards. We jumped. We're smart, we're trained investigators. We don't just go off like that. We gather facts and examine evidence. We sure didn't do that did we?"

"No. I just know how I feel about you. I thought the rest would all just fall into place."

"Ok, then, lets figure this all out together, ok? That's if you still want to be together?"

Grace had deliberately seated herself with some distance between them. She knew the effect Wayne had on her. If she sat closer and breathed in his scent of sweat and man, she wouldn't be able to coherently say her name, let alone a conversation. Just sitting across a park bench, she was sorely tempted by him. Those long muscles in his thighs displayed by his shorts were lightly dusted with hair. She clenched her own thighs together to quell her body's reaction to memories of how that hair tickled her in the most intimate of ways.

So, she left some space, hoping she could have a conversation and not jump him in the park. She didn't count on the length or strength of his arms. He reached over easily and pulled her onto his lap.

"Do I want? Of course I do." His big hands stroked her arms and bare legs, as if cataloguing any changes in the last few days apart. Grace knew she was in big trouble now. Being this close to him, breathing in his essence as his muscles in his bare legs flooded her with memories of how they felt pinning her to the bed.

She jumped up and walked a few steps away.

"No, Wayne, don't"

His face fell and took on that hurt and confused look that tore at her heart. But she knew she had to be strong.

"Wayne, if we start touching each other, we will never figure this out. How you make me feel when I am in your arms has never been the problem"

His eyes cleared as he considered her words. He knew she was right. They were combustible together physically. As much as he wanted to carry her back to his bed, he knew they needed to solve the problem.

"OK. We talk. I am sorry. I didn't mean to say marriage was stupid. I guess I just never let myself get that far in my head about us. Aw, hell, Grace, I am still in shock you are with me. I wanted you for so long, and was so convinced we would never happen, I didn't even see past that. I am not even sure why we have to discuss the future. We were doing good, right, well, um, er, except that we could tell anyone about us"

"Oh Wayne. I don't think we have to have it all planned out. I guess I was so freaked at what was happening at work that I pushed. Yeah, I want to know that we have a future. You made such a big deal out of chasing me, that I guess I am a little hurt and surprised you don't want more."

"I thought we had more?"

Grace looked long and hard at this handsome and clueless man. Patty was right. He wasn't just shy, he really had no idea. She knew from things he had dropped that his family life wasn't great. Maybe that was the problem.

"Ok, Wayne, we don't have to plan everything, but did you even see a future with us?"

She watched as his eyes got even bigger. He was completely unsure of how to respond. Deer in the headlights was coined for a face like the one he made now. A little piece of her cracked at that moment. He had never even thought about it. She had tied up her life, her heart, her career in this man. He hadn't even thought about it. For all he said he loved her, he was happy in the moment.

Wayne watched the life drain out of her eyes. Without even talking, he was blowing it again. He started to stand, to go and put his arms around her, but stopped himself. She needed words, and they had to be the right ones. He sat down and ran his hands down his face. He was going to lose her. That had to outweigh it all. She deserved to know.

"Grace, sit down. You need to understand why the future, love, relationships are all things that I never thought about before. I told you who my father was. I grew up thinking that planning for the future, the kind of future someone like you took for granted, was not possible. I didn't grow up like you. Being a cop, that was as normal as I ever thought I would get."

"Oh. I never thought. I guess I want to feel like you want more with me."

"I guess I do. I don't know. It has only been a couple of months. Can't we just enjoy that?"

Grace sat down heavily on the bench. He really only wanted now. Even allowing for his past, he was just a normal guy. Patty was right. Guys don't want the future. It was up to the woman ultimately. What should she do? She could demand a commitment of some kind. He would probably give it, but it would be forced and did she really want that? She could just drift, but then, she wouldn't feel like he was really invested as she was. There had to be a happy medium.

"Wayne, I don't want you to think we have to decide it all now, but I think we should start thinking about all this. Maybe not today, but one day. I guess its all been a lot all at once. But one day, we will talk. And if before that day, you don't see us happening, you tell me. Because, Wayne, I will transfer, as far away from you as possible."

"What? Why? You want to transfer?"

"Listen to me, Wayne. This is exactly why they have rules against this. If we ever don't work out, one of us would have to transfer. Because as hard as it is to be together and work, it would be so much harder to be apart. Remember when I said that night in the car about how it wasn't the right time? I meant that I was afraid that if we did get together, and God knows I wanted to so much, if we broke up, what would happen"

"Wait. We weren't even together and you were planning to break up with me? Jeez Grace, I am confused. I feel like sometimes I don't know where I stand. Do you want to be with me? Because I know how I feel. I have felt the same way from the moment I met you."

His eyes took on that very deep blue as he spoke. His happy face became so serious and focused. Instead of ducking his head, he gazed straight at her. Everything he felt was right there shining forth for all to see. How was any woman supposed to resist that?

"Wayne, I noticed you from the beginning. And even without Jane's comments, I would have been aware of what was between us. It was palpable and real. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening. Then you told me how you felt when you were high after that fire. You kissed me under hypnosis. You made it really hard for me to ignore you. I could feel your eyes on me. You were ready to take Dan's head off. I knew. I was afraid of this."

"Afraid I would risk it all, my heart, my career and that I was not it for you. I don't know what I want right now. I just felt like when you were talking about my transfer so casually and then said marriage was stupid…"

"Grace, Oh God, I didn't mean, now, it would be and I just, well, that's a lot and you know…"

"God, Wayne listen to yourself now. Even now, when we are trying to work this all out, you are in a flat panic at the word. I know you love me, you say it all the time. But are you in love with me, or just, well the pretty girl at work?"

There it was. Her biggest fear voiced. Being pretty was its own curse No one really listened to you. They just looked at you. Especially as a cop. It was male dominated, and they all wanted to just look and not take you seriously. Being in a unit with a woman head was a gift. Other than Wayne, no one had thought of her as the cute girl. She was a member of the team even if as a rookie she got the crap assignments. But Wayne. Did he love her for who she was or how she looked? At first, she was sure it was her looks. Over time, she began to think otherwise. But now, when it all got tough, and he seemed so uncertain, her fears came crashing back.

"Grace,…"

"No, wait. Don't say it. Don't say anything. We both need time to process."

"Grace, no!. D

on't go anywhere. Tell me what you want, I will do it. I don't want to lose you. Whatever it takes. But you have to tell me."

"That's just it. It's not just what I want. It has to be right for both of us. I don't want to tell you what to do. You should just want it too."

She leaned over and kissed him softly, but pulled back when he would have pulled her down for a closer embrace.

"Wayne, I know what I want. But you have to know what you want. If we are going to make this work, really work with our jobs, we have to be on the same page. Call me later when you have had time to think."

Taking a long look at the handsome and puzzled face, she turned and ran off. He stood and watched her red ponytail swing as her long ivory legs ate up the ground, taking her further away. He had a sinking feeling she was trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

Yeah, those freeking angst bunnies hijacked my computer again. Tell them what you think? And if you want those smutty bunnies, call them out too?