3rd bit. Same disclaimer

.o.o.o.

Tony: No, because I'm currently taking it apart to figure out how Loki managed to make it work. Don't count on getting it back in working order! ;)

Hey, you started it by putting those damned spiders in my closet! Or getting Loki to, either way the whole thing is on you, man! I was only trying to defend myself!-Hawkeye

Natasha: We were going to let him go after beating him up, as Loki and Darcy requested, but then Spider-Man mentioned something about Loki asking him to do something to Doom. Jane and I decided it best not to ask.

Thor: Truly, this has been most amusing. I am only saddened by the fact that we are out of popcorn.

No, it was payback for you stealing all the quip-age last month! That's totally my job! You shoot arrows and act agent-y and I shoot webs and quip! You stole my thing!
So, yeah...you started it. And the spiders were animated plushies, how did you not notice that?...HAWKEYE'S SCARED OF PLUSHIES!
Spidey *spider taking a bow*

Stark, I just got back from vacation, and you never turned your paperwork in, Spider-Man filed a report on unlawful seizure of a "magi-tech light-saber whip", Clint is carrying bug spray in his quiver, and there is a supervillain who technically has diplomatic immunity on the coffee table. Team debriefing! Now!
Agent Phil Coulson (aka the man who'll have your heads)

Thor...you know we have your little brother's stalker tied up. In the den. The man who wants to do many sexual things to your little brother against said brother's will...? Janet

If that doesn't rid the world of Dr. D, nothing will-Johnny Storm *FLAME ON written in what looks like highlighter*

No, I'M the sarcastic guy, you're the guy with the one-liners! And they were not plushies! I checked!-Hawkeye

Thor: ...Excuse me for a moment. *High pitched screams of pain come from the den before a long period of silence*...I have returned. I had actually thought I wasn't allowed to do anything to Doom outside of battle, but I am relieved to know that I was wrong.

Jan, why did you feel the need to start an international incident?
Hank

I'm a teenager, sarcasm is totally mine too!...And yeah, they were. I checked. Unless they turn not-plush when you're...around...oh...Hahahaha! That's awesome!
Oh, and Venom says she's going to eat me tonight-the Bugle interviewed him for some reason. Sue for harassment, or hide?
Spidey

Look, Hank, so long as we prove Doom was here doing something illegal, like stalking Loki because stalking is wrong, he's the one at fault.
Jan

...Like writing on bathroom walks in Tony's house without Tony's permission? -Jane

Stark. Paperwork. I mean it. I'll sick Miss Potts and Col. Rhodes on you.
Coulson

I'd do both, Spidey. Preferably at the same time.
Tony
P.S. I don't mind the writing, since it gives us all something to look at while we're doing our business.

...You're going down, Spider-Man! Now where'd I put the elf's number?-Hawkeye

Hank: Alright, but I'm going to stand far away from you when Fury finds out about it so I don't get caught in the crossfire.

Thanks, Tony. Now we can't sue Doom for that. I guess we could ask Loki to file a harassment claim...
Jane

Jane, he set the last paperwork the son of Coul gave him on fire. And then turned the ashes into a duck. Better to just make sure the doctor knows to leave my brother alone-Thor

I've got a lot of stuff to do guys, so, um, I'll be not-superhero-ing until Tuesday...yeah. Tony, I want my light-saber whip back! Come on, it's not like i know how to use the thing!
Your-ready-to-sue-for-theft-neighborhood Spider-Man

Tony, Coulson said you haven't done something important. Do we need a repeat of your birthday party?—Rhodey

You mean the party where I peed in the Ironman armor?
Jane, well sorry I don't get ticked everytime someone leaves a memo on the bathroom wall!
Tony
P.S. Sorry Spidey, but I borrowed it fair and square. If it makes you feel any better, I left a prototype of the new taser Stark Industries is developing in your dresser. Let me know how it works, 'kay?

Jane: Oh. I wondered why there was a slightly singed-looking duck wandering around base, but now I know.

Yes, I actually found it to be quite helpful in unnerving the new recruits. -Thor *Insert crudely drawn smiley face*

I meant the party where I kicked your butt in an older version of your suit-Rhodey

...Taser? Oh, no, that's no problem at all! Darcy can even tell me how to use it! :)
Your Satisfied Neighborhood Spider-Man

I thought he said he wasn't going to be back until Loki was, you know, so Malekith and Clint couldn't double team him?-Janet

I think he came back to collect his game-boy. He was letting JARVIS download some games.
Steve
PS: Someone hide the singed duck before PETA finds out. Pepper's orders.

Hey! I'll have you know I was totally plastered for most of that, so it doesn't count! You should just be grateful that I let you keep the War Machine armor! *Insert grumbling here*
Tony

Janet: The duck has been hidden, so no one look in the third guest room down from Hawkeye's room. I have to say though, the duck was actually pretty easy going about the whole thing.

Yeah, it makes me hope that no one ever finds out about that incident with the penguins and the chupacabra. –Hank