"You really ought to call a stop to this, Noon, it's ridiculous." Juliana murmured.
"Ssssh! Almost done!" Soong bent over the circuitry, squinting. Juliana peered over his shoulder.
"He shouldn't have to prove himself in some ridiculous macho display, he's better than this."
"Ha! You should have heard the nonsense coming out of that man's mouth, you'd feel differently then." Soong growled. He put down the tools. "Done." He closed the chest panel. "How's that, my boy?"
The android's eyes opened and flickered left, right, left, right.
"Initialising... Augmentation integrated."
"Good!" Soong crowed. Juliana folded her arms.
"How do you feel?" she asked the android, head on one side. It looked up at her from its prone position on the workbench.
"I feel nothing. All systems are operating within acceptable parameters."
"Acceptable's not good enough!" Soong cried. "We need you running at peak efficiency!" He bustled away to his tool chest, muttering.
"Noon, it's not fair on him. He's just passing into sentience. This is a delicate time for him, he doesn't need this kind of pressure." Juliana shook her head. "I'm worried about how this might affect his long-term development."
"Rubbish!" Soong snorted. "A bit of healthy competition never hurt anyone. Besides, he's going to win, aren't you my boy?"
"I am unable to say at this stage." The android sat up and swung its legs over the edge of the workbench. "Not knowing the route, I have no way of extrapolating any conclusive evidence to either confirm or disprove your hypothesis, lacking as I do any information on the distance, terrain..."
"Yes, yes, well let's not worry about it too much." Soong waved away the rest of the android's sentence. "Now, up you get and let me know if anything else needs tweaking. Remember, acceptable is no good, I want optimal!"
The android slid off the workbench and onto its feet. It bounced up and down on the balls of its feet, testing the suspension in its knees and the pressure levels in the hydraulics systems. Looking around the room, its visual feed gave it distance, perspective. Extrapolate distance from here to there, estimate maximum speed and compute hypothetical minimum time to destination...
"Judging from the available information, my maximum speed has increased by thirty-eight point two five percent. My visual acuity is improved by a factor of..."
"Stop this, Noon, please!" Juliana grabbed her husband's arm as he strutted past her holding a cable.
"That's enough, Juli!" He snapped, wrenching his arm from her grip. "If you're not going to help, then get out of the way!" He turned back to the android, and his wife gritted her teeth and stalked up the stairs. The android watched her leave, curious, as Soong peeled a flap of skin from its scalp and plugged a cable into one of its ports.
"Why do humans communicate in such a hostile manner?"
"What do you mean?" muttered Soong, feeding the other end of the cable into a terminal.
"Your interactions with both Tom Hardy and Juliana Soong are adversarial in nature, with emphasis on name-calling, raised voices, confrontational statements..."
"That's not true!" Soong snapped, staring at the information readout on the screen.
"Then these interactions are not a sign of discord?" the android queried.
"I don't argue with Juliana, we just... don't see eye-to-eye about some things." Soong muttered.
"I do not understand."
"No, well, neither do most men." Soong jerked the cable from the back of the terminal. The android's head twitched as the feed was abruptly terminated. "Look, my boy, it's like this. I love her, and she loves me, but that doesn't mean we get along all the time. Sometimes we disagree, it's perfectly normal."
"I see." The android quirked its head. "Do you also love Tom Handy?"
"What?" Soong spluttered. "That opinionated bumpkin? No, certainly not!"
"I am confused." The android frowned. Soong chuckled and patted him on the cheek.
"You still have a lot to learn about humans. But don't worry about that now. I'm going to go get some rest, ready for tomorrow."
"May I remain active tonight? I think there may be some calibrations that I can run to improve my efficiency."
"Of course! Of course." Soong grinned as he strode up the stairs, flicking the lights off as he went.
The android sat in the dark and pondered.