Brawls With a Backbone

AN: Wow. I think my fingers are bleeding. OOOOoh, the pain, typing for two reviewers. Ah, who cares? I lub you guyz.

The journey to Kings Cross was always an unpleasant one. Or at least , it had been for Lily Evans for the past five years. Curiously enough, she couldn't remember a time in which the intent on coming to Kings Cross was not to return to Hogwarts.

Such thoughts she mused in a vacant attempt to drone out her sister's hesitant company.

She couldn't understand why her mother had insisted Petunia be present at her departure, as it was obvious the fishing-pole sized adolescent was a bit less than eager to accompany them.

"No"

"But Petunia darling, it would mean a lot to your sister—"

"No it wouldn't" Lily supplied from the opposite corner of the counter.

"Lily, you are not helping—"

"See mother?" Petunia said in a scandalized tone "See what a freak I have to deal with?"

Lily sipped her Earl Grey calmly , " Petunia, I hardly think it's acceptable to talk about yourself in such a way"

"Why you insolent little—"

"Girls!" their mother snapped , smoothing back her glossy locks "You are sisters! Both of you should at least make an attempt at getting along!" she slapped her palm to the counter top, breathing heavily.

Petunia glanced at the hand warily, raising a meticulously plucked eyebrow, "Mother," she began in a snooty tone, "I see no point in attempting to associate with such a monstrosity" she pointed a spidery finger in Lily's direction, "You may claim she is my sibling , yet I know different"

"Petunia!" their mother gasped "What an awful—"

"Let her finish, mum" Lily put down her china .

" Listen mother, you may think this indecent or-or" she tapped her heeled foot as she searched for the correct word "impolite, but, I cannot be—am not, related to such an abnormal freak!"

Their mother gasped , clutching her left flank as if mortally wounded, but Petunia pursued on ,

"I mean, who is to say you didn't pick up the wrong child in the hospital? Maybe—maybe she belongs to one of those freakish families , and we've been housing a complete stranger for fifteen years!" she finished her tirade with a monstrous intake of breath , small rebellious fringe escaping the bind of her hair.

Lily nodded , picked up her china and moved with a calculated placid demeanor towards the sink, she set the porcelain down and turned around to face her sister .

"I see 'tuna" Petunia cringed at the nickname (which was , without a doubt , Lily's intention) " Your theory does seem to have some ring of credibility, however, I see a flaw" she sneered , "Couldn't you be the mistake? Perhaps you are the one that does not belong in this family! Maybe you are the disfigured monstrosity given to the wrong patient! You sure look the part!"

"Shut up!" Petunia screeched and in two strides, she touched noses with her red-headed nemesis "What do you know? You're just a mistake, an abnormal freakish mistake! Don't fool yourself thinking otherwise!"

"Stop! Just bloody—STOP!" Charlotte Evans was a small woman, but when she pushed against her daughters , she had the strength of ten women her size.

Petunia smacked against the opposite wall , Charlotte was standing between them , her hands outstretched in their directions.

"Never again! Do you hear me?" she yelled , her normally soft voice agonizing their ears and causing them to flinch "NEVER!" she took a breath , glaring menacingly at both of them, "Petunia will go to Kings Cross tomorrow, I don't give a sodding rat's arse if either of you don't like the idea, understand?"

"Yes Mum"

"…..mother?"

"Petunia!"

"Fine, alright , I'll go. Satisfied?"

She sighed "Yes."

OoO

Lily pushed her trolley , glancing waywardly behind her. Her mother was waving cheerfully, a diminutive hanky pressed into her chest , while Petunia scowled derisively.

She waved at her mother, choosing to ignore Petunia's smug horse-face, then ran through the barrier, back to Hogwarts, where she could show off her new exterior.

It was ten thirty , but the platform was relatively empty. She saw few people she recognized , though a few she could pinpoint as Ravenclaws. Lily decided to board the train, seeing as Emmeline would most likely jump onto the engine as it was speeding off (she always managed to forget the time in which the train left) and find a compartment .

She was about to make her way to the entrance when she felt her trolley collide with something and eventually , go over it.

Thuthump!

Lily stopped abruptly , her eyes wide. Her knuckles turned white with the force she was gripping the handle.

Oh Merlin! She'd ran over something……with a bloody trolley! She glanced about her, no one seemed to be paying any closer attention to her than they had before….

Carefully, she peeked over the side of the trolley. Whatever it was that she'd run over didn't seem to be large. She couldn't see it. Lily bit her nails, then sighed dejectedly. Of course something like this would happen to her, of all people. If nothing else, she could find some comfort in the fact that this situation , like many she'd accumulated over the years was nothing if not typical, bloody sodding typical.

When she was five years old, and her two friends had collectively decided to empty their large intestines through their anuses in her kiddie pool , that was a bit of a misfortune .However, when she'd been blamed for it, that was just irritatingly typical( as if she could've shat out that monstrous amount of pastry when she'd had none(though whatever had been wading around in the pool could hardly have been classified as 'previously pastry')).

When she was in grade school and she'd managed to perform a flawless monkey roll without cracking her skull open , it was just typical that while she'd executed the move beautifully , she'd gotten a wad of odious gum imbedded onto her skull . Lily had looked like a bloody army-brat for the next two weeks as she'd had to shave all her precios hair off.

And—

"Are you alright miss? You seem a bit….withdrawn"

She whipped around , gladness coming over her as she thought of playing the part of damsel in distress , when she realized just who was behind her.

Typical, she thought as she looked into the faces of the Hogwarts Royalty, the crème de la crème and the cherry on top. James Potter and his pissy-arsed pillock posse, Sirius Black , Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"I'm fine" she snapped.

"Do I know you?" James smirked his smug little smile , looking her up and down "I should"

Lily raised a brow, "You don't remember me?" she asked coldly.

"I could never forget you, love"

"Huh" she said , clearly annoyed " Bit sad that you did though , innit?"

James looked surprised and more than a bit shocked at her blatant dislike of him, but nonetheless pursued on.

"That would be sad , if I had known you. However , I'm sure I could've never forgotten such a pretty…." He let his eyes roam over her "face" he finished.

She seemed less than amused , "'Sucks to be you then," Lily said nonchalantly "What with such a poor memory accompanied with so many less than redeeming qualities, I'm surprised you haven't slit your wrists"

James looked affronted " Less than redeeming qualities , you say? I have none!" he chuckled with false confidence "Are you new to Hogwarts?"

"Obviously not , Potter." She exclaimed "Just because you've had a lapse of memory for the last five years doesn't mean that no others remember me"

"Oh yea? Who remembers you?"

"I do" spoke Remus, the only one of Potter's posse still lingering (The other two having sped away after the newest female fat camp graduates)"Hullo Lily , it's nice to see you again"

" It'd be nice to return the sentiment , Remus. And I would say that I'd wish it could be so but, that'd be a lie, and I'm no liar"

"I'm sorry to hear that" he sighed

"No you're not" Lily said.

"Look Potter—"

"James"

"What?" she snapped.

"Call me James, love" he just didn't get it , did he?

Lily cocked an eyebrow and smirked inwardly "Alright James, " she began with over exuberance " Can you help me with something?"

"Of course, love" he replied cockily , sending Remus a look of triumph .

"Well, you see, there's something trapped in the front of my trolley, and I was wondering if you could get it out for me…."

"Why not?" he smiled "Anything for you, love"

He strutted to the front of the trolley and Lily walked casually to the back of it,whistling tunelessly. Remus glanced at her curiously and was about to inquire as to her position when she sent him an icy glare that erased all earlier intentions.

James reached his head in front of the trolley , kneeling and casually swinging his bum from side to side in case the attractive red-head was standing behind him. He started to poke his fingers through the front and was almost positive to have felt a slimy 'x' character between his fingers before,

"Oh , Jaaa-ames!" Lily called in a sing-song voice .

"Wha—"

WAM!

Just like that , Lily pushed the trolley from behind , hitting James full on , his nose giving a sickening crack as he was pushed back into the platform floor. He whimpered quietly, surprisingly not catching the attention of any outside persons.

He closed his eyes , clutching his nose, hearing the sounds of footsteps .

'Why'd you do that Lily—" that was Remus, ever the caring one. "You could loose your Prefect status!" Oh, well, nevermind then.

"How did you know I was a prefect?" that horrid , horrid (sadly beautiful) but Horrid girl asked snappishly.

"Intuition" Remus muttered "But why would you do such a thing?"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Marauder" she sneered " Your little nod-headed leader just has a broken nose, as well as a thoroughly mangled ego"

She leaned down next to James , putting her mouth close to his ear "Karma , Potter. Learn the concept. Perhaps you'll remember my name this time." He heard the smirk in her voice "It's Lily, Lily Evans"

OoO

Curiously, the 'something' Lily had ran over when she'd first arrived in the platform had been a rather young toad , belonging to an incoming first-year. She'd learned this few minutes after arriving in the Prefects compartment . Lily had been sitting there , cheerfully catching up on some reading when a large shadow obscured the next passage.

Finally, annoyed , she looked up to find the cocky smiling face of Amos Diggory.

"Alright?" he said casually.

"Peachy" she replied , touchily.

"You're Lily Evans , right?"

She narrowed her eyes "Yes" she leaned forward in mock excitement "And you're an arrogant buffoon with an ego the size of Russia, right?" Lily smirked "Your reputation precedes you, I'm afraid"

"I deserved that"

"And more" she added .

He nodded , "May I ?" he pointed to the vacant seat beside her .

She huffed "If you must"

He smiled winningly and sat down "I came to apologize"

Lily rolled her eyes "Oh really?" she replied , "Why exactly?"

"Because, well—" he sighed "I've been an impossible berk, especially to you."

"In which occasions specifically? When you announced to the Great Hall I was stalking Potter? Or that other time when you proclaimed I was accosting not only Potter, but every good-looking male in Hogwarts?"

"I'm sorry" he said meekly "I guess I wasn't really thinking when I said that bollocks—"

"No you weren't . Get out." She interrupted tersely.

"But—"

"No. No 'buts' , no explanations. You didn't give me a chance to explain last year. Why should I give you one?"

"I understand—"

"Diggory!" a voice hissed form the compartment door, it was Potter. His nose was brilliantly bandaged and his mouth was twisted in a scowl of intense dislike.

"Potter" Diggory chuckled "You look—"

"Like shit" Lily interrupted , smirking smugly. "They couldn't fix your nose Potter?"

"No" he snapped "I'll have to wait 'till I get to Hogwarts so Poppy can take a look at it"

"Oh." Lily said , then shrugged "I really don't care for your company , Potter. Why are you here?"

He frowned minimally for a second then caught himself, "I was just wondering if it was you who started that ridiculous rumor"

"What ridiculous rumor?"

"Of course she didn't Potter! Lily's a lady!"

James rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore Diggory and entering the compartment fully.

Lily was looking amusedly at Diggory "Though I am female Diggory, I cannot see how that influences what I say or do not say. Also what do you know about me? Nothing more than your own concoctions , prejudice and conclusions. I highly doubt then, that you know my linguistic tendencies. Unless of curse," she finished with a bitter smirk "It's been you stalking me all along."

"Touché" Amos supplied.

"As always" she turned to James , whom was now sitting at the opposite end of the compartment "You were saying , Potter?"

"Oh , yes" he collected his thoughts "Someone's been talking out of their arse—"

"It happens," Lily interrupted, "usually to you" and Amos snickered.

"Let me finish!" James snapped "They've been saying that I got attacked by a firstie's toad and that I am now sustaining physical evidence (meaning my broken nose) that the toad was successful"

"That is ridiculous" Lily said, making a face "That's not the one I heard"

"There's another? Was it about me?"

"Obviously"

"What is it?"

"Well, that in addition to your other sexual deficiencies, you've been cradle-snatching pets from the First-years to sedate your perverted appetite"

"Oh, Lord" James said "Really? They've been saying that?"

"Awful, innit?" she crossed two fingers delicately behind her back, then shook her head "Oh, well. I can't bring myself to feel sorry for you, pity. So, do you mind?" she pointed out the door.

James looked startled "What about Diggory?"

Lily eyed Amos whom was visibly shaking with laughter, and shrugged "Leave, Diggory" she commanded. He stood, bowed, still chuckling and left the compartment, promptly followed by Potter.

As she closed the door behind them she laughed quietly to herself, opening her book once more. She figured the free food would attract Emmeline , and that she could stay seated for at least a little while longer.

Ahhh, revenge. So sweet, so cold, she mused.

AN: Lily's icy, ain't she?

Ah, poor doll. She's got reason to be. Well, you know what I want.

(For those of you lacking a brain, that's a cue for you to REVIEW!)