infinite
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Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space.
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I wasn't going to add Azula originally, but it did give a pretty good reason to begin the story. I added Ty Lee for the same reason I had in an earlier story, Attach and Assemble, just to be that aggravatingly cheerful character I could mention. Since I've used both characters now, I decided I would throw in Mai. I don't quite know what her role is, but here she is.
And yeah. The plan is for this story is to switch key perspectives for every chapter.
Meng is also the one I'm going to be sort of bashing. She's just too easy. Also, it is a good excuse to bash Twilight a little.
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sunset
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Zuko doesn't throw the pictures out.
He throws them in his desk drawer instead, slamming it shut roughly. He doesn't understand the point of leaving photographs on a blind girl's door for her to find, because Toph probably would have never seen them if he hadn't walked her. She never would have understood what the images were.
Maybe Toph would have found them eventually, and felt the glossy surface of them. But how long would it have taken for her to realize that someone was watching her? How long had she been unaware of their existence?
Little girl, watch yourself.
Zuko curls his hands into fists that shake from pure need to hit somebody.
His phone rings. He doesn't even bother to check the caller ID, but rather answers it out of sheer hope of his Uncle.
"Hello?"
"Zuko." Mai's voice is dry. "I suppose you've heard about Azula."
Zuko kicked the desk. "Bad time," he grunted out. "Can you call back or something?"
"Your sister is dead."
Cold hands shoving him deeper. Limbs flailing around. Icy, murky water.
He swallowed. "So I've heard."
"Azula hung herself with an electrical cord." Zuko could hear background noise of something like a café. "She tried to electrocute herself first, you know."
"I don't want the details."
"Shame."
Zuko leaned against the desk, trying to massage feeling back into his foot. "What do you want?"
Her tone was icy. "They are shipping her ashes here for her to be with your family. I thought you should know so you could come to her funeral Tuesday."
"Go hang yourself, Mai. I don't care. Why the hell would you even care?" He ran his hand through his thick hair. "She attacked you. Do you remember?"
There was a long pause. Zuko was considering the possibility of her hanging up on him when Mai spoke again. "She was my best friend. Someone should care. I know exactly what your father did to her. How he ruined her. Not that you would care."
"You don't know anything." Zuko slammed the phone back down onto the cradle and struggled not to scream or break apart into a million little pieces.
He sunk down to his knees gasping. "You don't know anything."
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His sheets feel like ice and the air feels thick.
Zuko wakes up struggling to breathe most nights.
He remembers unfeeling hands pushing him under deeper and deeper.
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Exam season had come to a grinding halt, students becoming more and more restless.
It had been five days since he'd walked Toph home from the Jasmine Dragon, and since then he was in charge of the night shift. His Uncle had left again to Japan to fill out an assortment of papers and deal with the legal matters.
Meng was perched at a table this time, glowering at him from afar overtop of her slightly battered copy of New Moon. "Can I get another peppermint, please?" She called out.
He served her a refill quickly.
"Can you make them quiet down?" Meng frowned at the four students in the back as they broke into another loud conversation filled with laughter. "They're being really distracting."
He shook his head. "They aren't being that bad. Exams have been stressing them out. Just read your stupid book." He gave the book in her hands a disdainful glance.
"Iroh's nicer." She glared.
The students burst into laughter behind them. "You're right. He is."
"I won't tip you!"
"Does it look like I care?"
He emptied the remaining dregs into the sink behind the counter and began rinsing the tea pot out thoroughly. The night had been busy, proved by the growing collection of tea pots and emptied canisters on the counter surface. The door opened and shut loudly, and turning his head for a second revealed Meng's table emptied.
Zuko looked up on the shelf where his Uncle kept his prized canisters of loose leaf tea sat.
There was a framed photograph sitting front and center that had never been there before.
It was one of Azula and him when they were younger, one of the few images caught on camera of the two not quite as rigid as later images were. Azula was grinning with her teeth at the camera, her eyes tangled with dark circles.
He threw the picture in the garbage can.
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Zuko didn't bother saying hello once his Uncle picked the phone up. "Where did that picture come from?"
"I found it in old things your mother had sent me before the accident." Iroh's voice sounded thin and brittle. "I thought you might appreciate something of better times. Before all this."
"It wasn't an accident." He slammed his fist down against the counter.
There was a loud roar of street noise. "You don't know that. You only think."
"I do know that!"
He could feel Iroh's frown. "What happened that night?"
Zuko slumped down to the ground, tucking his knees to his chest securely. He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't want to talk about it."
"It has been five years, Zuko. You need to tell somebody what happened."
His heart began to pound.
"Tell what? Who cares? Who really cares that a dead man used to rape my dead little sister who went psychotic? She tried to kill me before. He made her into a monster, Uncle. You chose to ignore the reality when you could have done something. You gave me a knife, remember?"
"Zuko," Iroh choked out.
"You kept telling me to talk. You asked for it."
He hung up.
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They hid behind the heavy velvet curtains. He could feel the anticipation rolling off her in waves.
His father's voice was low and slippery, like oil in water. It made him think of birds dying in water, coated by the slickness of grease. "You are far too lenient with the boy, Ursa."
"You are going to ruin him." His mother spat back at him, drawing herself up to her full height. Bruises were like ink on her pale arms. "I will not let you taint him."
He slapped her hard.
There was a brief moment before she hit the ground when she caught sight of Zuko watching through the heavy curtains.
.
He avoids looking in mirrors still.
The scar on his face is almost gone now, faded into a silver reminder.
It reminds him of plenty.
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Zuko looked up when the bell jingled loudly. "Have you told the police?"
Toph ignored him as she manoeuvered herself towards the counter. He cringed as she bumped into two chairs left pushed out from tables. "Can I just get a blackberry tea? Plain."
He began searching for the right container. "Have you?"
"No. And, if you know what's good for you, you won't either." She paused. "You also won't mention this to Iroh."
She looked cold despite the numerous layers she was wearing. Her green cardigan looked two or three sizes too big, engulfing her small form as she shed her jacket.
He thought about the picture of her unlocking her door. "You have to tell somebody."
Toph shrugged, listening to him steeping her tea. "I told you." She used the hair elastic from around her wrist to pull her long hair back.
"No, you didn't."
She shrugged again. "Close enough."
"You are in an excellent mood tonight."
"You are being stalked."
Toph exhaled sharply. "Listen, hothead. I can take care of myself. I just want my tea."
He set the tea down loudly in front of her as she yanked off her black gloves. "You are being an idiot."
"Does it look like I'm concerned?" She glared intently at a space a little off from where Zuko stood with his feet planted firmly. Toph's face was pale; the dark circles beneath her eyes looking like bruises. Her hands were clenched around the tea cup.
"Yeah. It does."
She looked surprised, cocking her head slightly as she began struggling for something to say back.
Except she couldn't say anything.
Slowly Toph bent down to her leather purse, pulling out three unopened envelopes. "I found these taped on my window. I started checking after the first one." She splayed them out on the countertop. "I don't think I'm going to be able to understand what they'll say if I even try to open them."
"May I?"
"Knock yourself out." She leaned back in her chair, shutting her eyes.
He slit the first envelope slowly with a knife. A single picture was enclosed.
It took Zuko a second to understand what he was looking at.
Toph was lying with her back to the camera, blankets pulled to her waist. Her long hair looked like ink across the white sheets, tangling slightly. "Do you have curtains?"
"What?"
"Do you have any curtains?"
Her hands began to tremble. "Yes. Why?"
"It's a picture of you sleeping."
Toph fumbled for an envelope, pushing it in his direction. "Open the next one. Please."
It was nothing but piece of paper folded carefully and a single match. "Little girl, I know your secrets. What makes you burn." Zuko read carefully.
The tea cup shattered on the floor.
"He doesn't know," she whispered. "He can't. How can he know?"
Zuko held the match carefully. "What does he mean?"
She struggled to gather up her belongings. "I'm sorry about the cup. How much do I owe you?"
He grabbed her arm before she could slide down from her chair. "Wait. There's broken glass. Let me clean it up before you go."
She bit her lip before nodding.
Zuko kept his eye on her as he quickly gathered up the pieces of the shattered cup. "Don't worry about paying for it. We have plenty more in the back."
"I need to go, Zuko."
Her expression looked haunted.
"Give me a few minutes. I can close the place and walk you."
Toph nodded.
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She throws out the third envelope.
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