"Excuse me, sir, but you can't bring that pig on the plane," said the ticket lady to Jesse.
"Great," he thought. "Just what I needed. We're already running late."
Improvising, he said, "But miss, he's my dog. Dressed up as a pig. For Halloween."
She looked confused. "Halloween isn't for another five months."
Jesse thought fast. "We're already prepared."
She didn't buy it. "No, I'm sorry, but that animal is not allowed. It's against regulations." She paused. "And protocol," she added as an afterthought.
"But please ma'am, I'm... uh... blind. I need a seeing-eye pig, er... dog." He closed his eyes and groped around for effect.
"SECURITY," the ticket lady said into her microphone. "PLEASE COME TO GATE 23. SECURITY TO GATE 23."
"No, no, no," he said hastily. "We're going now." Jesse and Reuben turned and walked away to a bench by one of the windows. "Hey," he asked a little girl sitting down, "I'll give you twenty dollars for that backpack." It was tattered and ratty and had several stains, along with a few rips. Plus, it was a neon pink with glittery unicorns.
She handed him the backpack and held out her hand, sucking on a lollipop.
The thing was, Jesse didn't actually have twenty dollars. His entire fortune consisted of five dollars and forty-three cents. He reached into his pocket and found an old wooden sword. "Here, want this?" he asked. Her eyes wide, the girl took the weapon and promptly ran around the building, waving it dangerously and setting off several alarms. He thanked Notch above that she hadn't protested.
Now for Reuben. "Sorry, little guy," he apologized in advance, "But this is the only way." He took the pig and stuffed him in the front pocket of the bag, zipping it up all the way save a few inches, leaving an air hole for his pet to breathe through. "Remember, buddy, you gotta stay quiet." Then he reached into the pack, pulling out an equally pink baseball cap with matching unicorns. He also found a purple scarf.
Bravely, the boy walked back to the jet bridge, putting on the little girl's accessories on, with the too-small backpack hanging on his left shoulder.
Everybody stared.
Petra, who was among the watching crowd, holding a much labored-for Coke and a camera, snapped pictures of the mortified boy, all while laughing hysterically.
"Oink!"
"Shh, boy, you don't wanna give us away," whispered Jesse.
Reuben thought to himself, "You already gave us away just by being dressed like that."
Jesse walked back up to the ticket lady, who looked at him weirdly, no doubt wondering what the heck was going on with him. But at least she didn't recognize him. He handed her his ticket, but left Reuben's in the pack. There was no use taking it out. No one could see the pig anyway.
"Ahem," said Jesse in a deep voice. "Can I board now?" She gave him a half-nod, still stealing freaked out glances at him, the dude wearing suspenders with a pink unicorn backpack, a matching cap, and a purple scarf.
Jesse ran up and found his seat at the front and ditched the disguise immediately. He then unzipped the bag and let Reuben out. Thankfully, no one wondered what a pig was doing on an airplane.
"Sir, you may not bring any liquids onto the plane unless they are in eight ounce bottles or less," said the ticket lady, who had grabbed Ivor's carry-on bag.
"What?" he asked blankly.
She repeated herself.
"But I need these!" he explained. "What if—hey! Stop!" She turned his bag upside down and shook it over the garbage can, all his painstakingly created potions falling out with a thud. "Noooooo!" he cried. "My life's work!"
"You shouldn't try to bring your life's work on an airplane."
Ivor fumed.
Harper appeared and dragged him off by the ear. "Come on, you," she spoke playfully. He grumbled as he watched the lady dump the entire bag into the trash receptacle.
The ticket lady had been giving everyone a hard time.
Finally, finally, once everyone had survived the horrors of the ticket person and had boarded, the flight attendants gave a short speech on how to use the oxygen masks and other general safety information, such as where the exits were located, and where the bathrooms had been placed. Then they finished speaking and went to buckle themselves in a seat after telling all the passengers to do the same.
As the plane started to taxi down the runway, Dan let out an unnecessarily loud "WHOO HOO!" and then...
They were off to Florida!