Hey Sugars! I'm back! Blah Blah disclaimers, blah blah.

luv y'all :3

Everyone was seated around the fire while munching bowls of some brown stew-like substance. The big one with the sexy voice handed me a bowl of my own. Holding my bowl, I surveyed my options for seating arrangement: Giant Minotaur, egghead, glowy-hand, and floppy hat. Floppy hat guy seemed the least intimidating of the bunch, so I sat next to him.

Hey eyed me warily as I placed my tuckus next to him. I flashed him my winning smile and began to stuff my face. The elf-leader-glowy person cleared her throat. I met her eyes, "What?"

"It's nice to meet you and all," she began, "But could you maybe, I don't know, tell us what the Hell you're doing here?"

I swallowed my mouthful of stew. Momma didn't raise no savages. Well, technically she might have, but that's up for debate. "You said I could come eat your food." I replied.

"No I meant HERE here."

"Ooohhh...right. Um, I suppose I would have to know where 'here' is exactly. So... Where am I?" I countered.

"In the Hinterlands."

I gave her a blank stare.

"In Ferelden." The Bull offered helpfully.

Still nothing.

"Well, that's all I got." Bull grumbled.

"How can you not know Ferelden? Where are you from exactly?" Levellan pressed

I shrugged, "Not sure how to explain that. A different world?"

The floppy hat dipped "Alabama, Alaska, Arazona, Arkansas, California, Col-"

"Cole stop it! What are you going on about?" Levellan snapped.

"Places that are home, never seen before. How can they be home if you don't go there?"

I smiled. "It's complicated, sugar. I fought for my country, which is my home, but what you named were states. How did you know that?"

Solas piped up. "Cole is a spirit who has taken human form."

I quirked my eyebrow. "No shit? So he's like a ghost? Freaky."

Solas shifted, "He's not really a ghost, a spirit is a guide who-"

"Sorry Eggman," I interjected, "I don't give a shit about that kind of thing."

Solas turned red and started sputtering, I guess he wasn't used to being interrupted. Hilarious! I'll have to remember that.

The horned man chuckled too, and Cole smiled. I think I was beginning to like these guys.

oO0Oo

No more questions were directed at me, and I was able to piece together what was going on with this group. Holes were opening in the sky, monsters were coming out, guys in armor and skirts were fighting each other. It was very dungeons and dragons. Apparently, they were heading to their "Inquisition" in "Haven." And yes, my first thought was "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" But I didn't say it out loud, I'm not stupid.

The journey back was awkward, the group was curious about me, and I about them. However, none of us could think of specific questions. I can't speak for the others, but I had hundreds of questions bouncing in my noggin. I didn't ask them for two reasons: the first being that they had invited me to accompany them to their home out of the goodness of their heart. The second being that they were scary. And sexy. But mostly scary.

The worst was when Solas spotted me sneaking a pill with my breakfast. The team of white coats gave them to me to hide the symptoms of my disease. Just to be clear, I still have fucking cancer, but now no one else has to know until the stupid cells kill me. Unfortunately, the rattle of gel capsules in a plastic bottle is not one the people around here are familiar with, so he pestered me with questions.

Naturally I avoided the questions skillfully and with the highest amount of tact. First I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about, then as his nagging continued, I gave him a death glare. When even that didn't sway him I resorted to my final measure:

"Solas, if you ask me what's in the bottle one more time, so help me I will cut off your testicles and shove them in your fucking mouth while you scream loud enough to put a banshee to shame!" I hissed in his stupid pointy ear.

He swallowed, but showed no other signs of weakness. He will be a tough egg to crack.