Here Is another chapter…. I hope you like

I have included a few songs which I think will help to set the mood … plus I laws listening to these when I was writing this chapter

hide and seek by Imogen heap

Open your eyes by snow patrol

Breath me by sia

Chapter 3; death and un-cried tears

I woke up to the sound of a constant beeping. I lay there with my eyelids closed coming to terms with what had happened. Images of last night raced trough my mind.

My eyes fluttered opened hoping to see Charlie's crinkly face, smiling down at me at the end of the bed or Edward, ready to tell me that Charlie was safe. However when I was confronted by the white room, it was empty, only the steady deep filled the empty space in front of me. Tears welled up in my eyes, as the feeling of complete loneliness invaded me.

My breathing became more erratic as the confusion seeped in, why wasn't anyone here? Ideas bombarded me casing my heart to hammer in my chest and the once steady beep jump in unnatural patterns. I ripped of the oxygen mask which was suffocating me.

I needed to find Charlie, I needed answers, tell him I was sorry. My body protested, everything screamed out in pain as I scrambled out of the bed. I ripped away the IV tubes that hooked me to the machine, gasping in pain as I used my scolded hands.

My lungs felt clogged as I tried to draw a breath, trying not to cry in pain. I let out a choking involuntary cough to try and dislodge the black smoke. I was trembling either out of coldness or fright of what I might find once I started to look.

Sweat was clamming up my face as I my body sagged beneath the pain. I stumbled out of the door, using anything for support; I needed to find Charlie's room.

I staged up the hall not knowing which direction I was heading in, reading the different names which were placed on the door. Staring in to the windows of the many rooms witch lined the corridor.

It was eerily quite for a hospital, no patients shuffled past or busy doctors lost in their own worlds, this unnerved me, causing me to hesitate at every sound. I pushed my left shoulder to the wall using it to keep me upright. I could see the end of the illuminated corridor; I was losing hope in ever finding Charlie alive.

I shivered once more as my bare feet touched the cold floor. The overpowering smell of bleach made me feel sick as I passed another window, its blinds slightly opened, allowing me to pear in.

The room was white; blank no personality, no life. My eyes scanned the whole of the room taking it all in, however I never let my eyes linger on the deathly pale man, lying limply on the bed; tubes coming from every expanse of skin. I couldn't make myself look at him, as every time I did I pictured Charlie.

I caught my withered reflection in the thin sheet of glass. I was still wearing the scorched blue silk pyjamas I had put on the night before. My body felt out of sorts as it felt so long ago since I was getting ready for bed. I felt sick as I took in my pitiful reflection; my careless behaviour had caused this turmoil, I had caused it and now I was suffering the consequences.

My eyes caught the stare of his withered wife, who had been weeping at his bed side, clutching his hand for dear life. She looked half dead as well as my eyes locked with her drained defeated, watery gaze.

Would that be me next to Charlie's bed? Dreading the moment you would hear the last faint beep. Silent tears spilled from my eyes. I couldn't bear if I lost Charlie. I needed him, more then ever. I was 18 years old and pregnant and my boyfriend, fiancé is know where to be seen. I needed Charlie alive and well

I pressed my left hand to my abdomen backing away from the man and women, my eyes trying to make sense of the scene in front of me. I tore my eyes away as the faces began to become mine and Charlie's.

Guilt, sadness and hope overwhelmed me as I chocked back the tears. I backed further away needing to get away from the sense of death witch was suppressed in the air, suffocating me. It was every where.

The lifelessness of the corridors, the grey colour the walls were painted, the drained faces of the loved ones it surrounded me and I needed to get out before I screamed for some comfort in this nightmare.

As I backed further away I collided with the door my head smashing in to the sharp corner of the runner which held the name. I spun around the noise sounding uncomfortable in the deathly silence. I stared wide eyed as the door jolted open.

There stood a tormented man, dark rings under his eyes, his face grey. His withered lips fixed in a pained grimace. My heart pounded in my chest as my head swam. I needed to find Charlie to make sure he was still alive, that was the least I could do.

Before I knew what was happening, my feet had started to move. I ran as fast as I could, my pathetic frame crying out to stop. However I kept running, not knowing were I was going or how I was going to find him, all I could do was pray he was here alive

I ran blindly through blank corridor after another, desperately searching for Charlie's room I ran for what felt like minutes around the same corridors, seemingly trapped. My breathing was long and drawn out as I tried to gasp in air.

The corridors made it look like I was running in circles. All the doors held names which were to no interest to me. I was beginning to panic. What happens if he is not here? Only one answer repeatedly swam around my head. He was dead

News tears wracked my body, know longer able to rum I stumbled to a halt pressing my back to the wall for support. I slipped to the floor wallowing in self hated. I had killed my own father; I was the one who had left him in the house to his premature death.

"sweetie" a kind voice filled the solemn corridors, I strained my head up searching for the stranger, through my blurred eyes. The voice was unfamiliar but gave me some comfort. A small plump woman with a round rosy face was shuffling her way towards me.

"sweetie, are you ok, come her, ssshhh" she knelt down next to me embracing me, my sobs wracked my body, her mothering love only causing me to cry harder.

"lets get you back to bed, come on" I resisted I need to find Charlie.

"no" I cried between tears "I need to find my dad Charlie swan" her lips tightened torn between what she should do "please" I whisper. I tried to stifle the tears, using the back of my hand to wipe my tear stained face. A chocking cough broke through causing me to double over in pain. The black smoke didn't seem to be dislodged.

"I don't think that's a very good idea, darling" I tried to keep calm but my heart thumped erratically and my mind was spinning. My worst nightmare was slowly coming true.

"Why" I crocked out, the tears dampening my panic. "Please I really need to see him" my eyes pleaded with hers new tears prickling at the back of my eyes.

"fine, but you can only stay in their for a few minutes" she wrapped her warm arms around my shoulders and guided me along. I wasn't really paying any attention to were we were going. Instead I tried to mentally prepare myself, at least he was alive, I could draw some comfort from that.

"how is he" I asked my voice timid, I looked at her, her eyes diverted my gave a sad look taking over her chubby feature.

"I won't lie to you, he's not well. He has severe burns and smoke inhalation." I gulped, my body felt weak with guilt. We stopped at a door identical to all the others. However in the silver runner held in block capitals CHARLIE SWAN my eyes widened at the sight, my palms began to sweat casing them to sting. Every part of my body was telling me to run that I didn't want to look behind those doors. However I was paralyzed with fear. I was rooted to the spot, staring straight at his name.

the women dropped her embrace and pulled me to face her, her face was serious and it scared me "I am going to be brutally honest as you need to know, Charlie is in a really bad way, when you go in there is going to be lots of tubes and noises but don't be scared. Just talk to him, I'm sure he will be able hear you" I nodded my whole body began to tremble with fear

"he is in a very unstable position right know ok and there is a very high chance he wont pull through. But you needed to promise me to keep calm, can you do that for my sweetie" I nodded again fighting back the tears which were welling up in my eyes. He had to make it, he needs to pull through. I couldn't contemplate not having him around. Forks was my home, here with Charlie and Edward. Not with mum and Phil anymore.

"I shall be just over there if you need me ok" I followed her gave to a small desk in an alcove between to rooms a few meters down the corridor.

She took my hand squeezing it tightly, a sympathetic smile visible on her pink lips. "And sweetie" she paused I dragged my scared gaze to hers "I think it would be wise to say you goodbyes now" a sharp pain fluted through my chest, her words brining my world crashing down around me. She brought me in to another hug. I allowed my self to be comforted as I tried to pull my self together, I gathered my erratic thoughts breathing deep as I felt light headed.

She gave me one more sad smile before she shuffled away, glancing nervously behind her should, waiting for me to collapse. I didn't move until she had disappeared behind her desk.

The silent tears steamed down my face, as once again I felt utterly alone dreading what I would find. What would my last good bye consist of? My legs gave away from underneath me but I gripped the handle for support, the cool metal soothing my scolded hands.

I felt a surge of relief rush through me as held on to the handle. At least he was alive, I have the chance to tell him I am sorry even if he doesn't grant me forgiveness, at least I can say I tried.

I tried to peek in to the room through the window next to his door however the blinds were securely shut. I couldn't suppress the need to see him which willed me to open the door, I slowly pushed down the handle until I heard the faint click of the lock. My hands trembled as part of me was screaming at me to run away and never look back, that if I ran fast enough my life could go back to what it was before the fire. I slowly opened the door, breathing heavily even though every breath ripped at my lungs.

I hid behind the door, allowing it to open an inch. I peered around, deeding what I was going to find. The blue aging curtains on the opposite wall were pulled too only allowing a slither of sunlight to pour in. The golden rays highlighted the specks of dust that danced on the still air. A single white chair sat solemnly next to a pruned plant. A corner of a wall obscured the top of the bed; I didn't know whether I could face him, what had the nurse said? He had severe burning. What did that mean? Disfigured images raced through my mind.

I could hear the constant deep of his heart monitor and the breathing machine drag in and out. I breathed in deep, opening the door a little wider to allow my self to slip in. I didn't look at the bed as I turned my back to it, so I was facing the wood door. I silently closed the door; I was trying to drag out not looking at him for as long as possible. I rubbed my stomach for reinsurance. My baby needed to know his grandfather and Charlie needed to know the existence of his grandchild. If this was the last time I was going to see him then I wanted him to know the truth.

I tried to keep my mind focused on the good side, at least he was alive. But I couldn't rid the feeling that this wouldn't be around for much longer.

I knew I had dragged out the waiting for long enough. I drew a breath, closing my eyes as I tried not to winch at the pain it caused. I slowly spun around, My eyes drifted along the bottom of the bed to the top. There lay a poor excuse of my father, tubes and wires came out of every visible expense of skin. His once warm pink skin was scoured red, blistered disfiguring his handsome face. Gashes, black and burnt invaded his being. He was hardly recognisable.

A horrified suppressed scream left my lip, tears ran down my checks. I pressed my hand over my mouth willing myself not to throw up. Guilt seeped over me. That should have been me laying there not him. I was the one who had started the fire.

I stumbled to Charlie's side, my red sore eyes taking in his mauled appearance. I collapsed on to a chair next to his head; I gripped his hand sobbing in to it.

"I'm so sorry dad" I wept I felt completely powerless. I didn't want this to be my last goodbye. I needed him.

"Please forgive me" I looked up in to his sleeping face, once more suppressing the need to throw up, but I made my self look at him, take in every inch of his destroyed face.

Time felt as if it was running out I needed to tell him.

"Dad I love you so much" I tried to stifle the flowing tears "I need you dad, know more then ever" I pulled his hand to my lips and touched his knuckles lightly.

"Dad, I'm pregnant, I'm so scared, please stay with me, please." My sobs shook my body as I gripped on to his hand tighter "Please dad don't leave me, don't leave your grandchild"

As soon s the words left my lips the once constant beep began to rise rapidly. Panic and confusion washed over me. I rose in my seat my eyes searching the many machines which surrounded him.

"Dad" I screamed as the deeps grew more erratic. My eyes caught the heart monitor which was racing.

His body began to tremble and grow clammy. I dropped his hand petrified as his movements become more jerky and violent

"Dad, some one, help please" I screamed I stumbled back petrified unable to breathe, as his fit heightened, causing the bed to rattle.

As quick as it came he was limp, slumped across the bed. I covered my mouth realising the worse, I felt ill sick, my legs felt as if they were going to give away.

A long drawn out deep lasted only seconds before, silence. A flat red line ran across the screen.

My heart pounded in my chest as the silence rang in my ears.

"No" I screamed "I need help someone" a stumbled to the bed unable to take in what was happening. I could hear shouting and screaming but my mind wasn't registering what was going on. I was creaming his name, he had to wake up.

Nurse after nurse crashed in to the room ordering people about. I grabbed Charlie once more franticly trying to get him to wake him up.

"dad" I screamed as a nurse tore me away. A flood of people swarmed around him, blocking him from view. I was pulled out of the room. I resisted desperately trying to stay in the room, my eyes locked on his limp body. "wake up" I shouted as they sent an electric shock through his body, no response. "wake up please" I whispered before I was finally pulled outside in to the corridor.

The tears feel, as my chest burned. The nurse held my securely, comforting me, but I was detached from my body; I couldn't focuses on anything around me.

The noises around me became muffled. As I watched through the open door as they tried to revive Charlie's dead body. Seconds seemed to drag into minutes and minutes seemed to drag into hours as I watched horror struck. I was screaming in my mind for him to wake up for the heart monitor to jump back in to life.

However nothing. The nurse's faces seemed to become more distressed as the seconds ticked on by. The doctor turned to look at me. My heart sank, he couldn't be dead.

"no … no … no" I sobbed into the nurses embrace "he can't be dead" I screamed the tears cascading down my checks.

Charlie was dead gone forever.

So what do you think?? I was slightly unsure – next chapter shall included Edwards point of view as you must be wondering were the hell is he : D

Thank you for all who have reviewed so far!! I hope this chapter was to your liking!!